Rare Blend (Red Mountain #1)

32. Ethan

CHAPTER 32

Ethan

YOU TWO ARE SO DUMB

I can’t keep doing this. The more time I spend with Marisa, the more intense my feelings get. I fooled myself into thinking her friendship was enough. It’s not enough, it’s so far from enough. Stopping at the kiss was supposed to protect me from getting hurt when she leaves, but this is an entirely different kind of pain. When I’m with her, all I want is to touch her, to feel her, and when we’re apart, I’m plagued with thoughts of her. She consumes me. She has fully infiltrated me and I’m past the point of ignoring it any further. Something has to be done. Either we put a stop to the dangerous game of toeing the line we’re playing, acting as if spending all of our free time together isn’t a relationship, or we finally give in and act on it. There’s also a major possibility that this is entirely one-sided on my part. Regardless, I’m at my breaking point.

“What’s wrong with you?”

I look up to find Elyse walking into my office. “Nothing, why?”

Her eyes narrow. She doesn’t believe me for a second. “Weird. Because I was standing here, staring at you for a good minute, and you were zoned out like a crazy person the entire time.”

“Just tired.” I try to lie, but even I can hear the lack of conviction behind my words.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain someone, would it? Maybe someone named Marisa?”

My expression must give it all away, because Elyse’s eyes light with excitement.

She walks closer and leans her hip against my desk. “Oh, you got it bad, huh?”

I look at her, trying to keep my face neutral, but Elyse sees everything. She’s like our mom.

“You are so down bad for her, it’s not even funny,” she continues.

I give up. There’s no use keeping this to myself. “And what if I am? It doesn’t mean anything. She’s leaving after the new year, anyway.”

She smiles, apparently enjoying my torture. “You don’t know that. Maybe she will, maybe she won’t. But wouldn’t it be nice if she had a reason, more than her dad, to stick around?”

“You have all the answers, don’t you?” I grit. “I doubt she sees me as anything more than a friend. She’s barely speaking to me.”

Ever since she brought up her mom coming to visit, she’s been noticeably distant. After that night, we haven’t had our usual hangout. It’s only been a few days, but enough for it to be obvious that I upset her.

“Interesting,” she muses. “I had lunch with her the other day.”

That catches my attention, and then I see it for what it was. She’s baiting me, and it worked.

“I’m not lying. We did have lunch. And you know what’s funny?”

I hate it when she’s like this. “What, Elle? What’s funny?”

She leans down, like she’s about to reveal a secret. “She looked just as zoned out and distracted as you.”

“I don’t know what that means. Can you stop fucking with me and spit it out already?”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. You’re no fun.” Laughing, she walks back toward the hall. “You two are so dumb. I mean, how much work does a girl have to do to get two people to realize they like each other? Those dates aligning with her interview and your meeting. It was kismet, like the universe plopped it in my lap and said, ‘Elyse, work your magic.’ The snow, well, that was Mother Nature, but I mean, come on. It’s so obvious there are feelings there. It’s like a game of ping-pong watching you two in a room, bouncing googly eyes back and forth.”

My face heats, images of our kiss replaying in my head. I think about that kiss too often. I think about it when I wake up. I think about it when I’m at work. I think about it when I’m with her. I think about it when the ache for her becomes unbearable and I have to take matters into my own hands, literally. The amount of times I’ve come to thoughts of Marisa is embarrassingly high. If she knew she was the star of every single one of my fantasies, she would run back to Seattle a lot sooner than after the new year.

“What’s that look on your face?” Elyse asks, her face twisting.

Shaking my head, I force away my indecent thoughts. “What look?” I say, feigning confusion.

Elyse’s eyes crinkle, assessing me. “Did something happen between you two?”

She’s like a damn bloodhound, unrelenting.

“I’m not talking about this with you. Boundaries, Elle.”

She releases an exaggerated gasp. “Something totally happened!”

I rub the throbbing pain building between my brows. “Will you drop it already? Don’t you have work to do?”

Elyse leans her head out of my doorway. “Tawn, get in here,” she calls out.

Jesus Christ. I should work from home, if only to avoid shit like this. “Elle, seriously? Leave it alone. I will deal with things in my own way. I don’t need you and Tawny and whoever else butting into my business.”

She pouts just as Tawny walks in.

“What are we talking about?” Tawny asks, eyes brimming with curiosity.

Elyse turns to her. “Ethan and his big fat crush on Marisa.”

Tawny giggles, leaning into Elyse. “Oh, I know. Aren’t they adorable?”

Alright, now I’m pissed. “I didn’t realize I pay you two to gossip like old women at the hair salon. Back to work.”

Tawny shrugs, unaffected, but wanders out.

Elyse shakes her head at me. “Tsk, tsk. Careful, E, your misogyny is showing.”

“Out. Get out and get back to work.”

She huffs and starts to walk out but pauses and turns to look at me, her eyes devoid of their usual humor. “For what it’s worth, I think you need to go for it. Forget about her leaving. Forget about the what ifs. Just try. Because you know what’s worse than going after who you want and it not working out? Not trying at all and living with the regret.”

Hell must be frozen over, because I’m taking advice from Shane. Willingly.

“Gray sweatpants.” Shane throws the sweatpants at me. “You gotta wear the gray sweatpants. The ladies go feral for them.”

Somehow, one text in the group chat turned into Gavin and Shane showing up at my place with unwarranted advice. I invited myself over to Marisa’s and after she took an hour to reply to my text, I started to panic and involved my brothers. I really wish I hadn’t.

I look over at Gavin, needing his confirmation on this.

Gavin smiles and nods. “He’s not wrong.”

“So, what? I just walk in there shirtless with gray sweatpants and she’s suddenly going to be interested in me?

Shane laughs. “You’re gonna wear a shirt. This isn’t a porno. This is a seduction, young grasshopper.”

Shane is loving this way too much, and my regret for getting him involved is growing by the minute.

“You know what?” I stand. “This was a mistake.”

“E, I’m just joking around?—”

Both Gavin and Shane stand, talking over each other.

“Ignore Shane, he’s being a shithead,” Gavin says.

I stop, fighting the instinct to kick both of them out. “This is ridiculous. It’s probably all for nothing. I doubt she sees me the way I see her.”

Gavin and Shane exchange a look and then bust up laughing.

“Bruh, you’re blind as fuck,” Shane says. “She may be treating you like a friend, but the eyes don’t lie, and hers aren’t looking at you like a friend. They’re saying, ‘Ethan, fuck me.’”

I throw a pillow at Shane to shut him the fuck up.

“Yeah, man,” Gavin chimes in, ignoring Shane. “I’ve seen it, too. At the festival, she only had eyes for you.”

“Well, besides when she was talking to Cole,” Shane says under his breath.

Gavin punches his arm. “You don’t know when to shut up, do you?”

I sit on the couch, slumping into the cushions, and let out a breath. “I don’t know what I’m thinking. She’s not planning to stay. It’s pointless.”

Gavin joins me on the couch. “Plans change.”

“If this blows up in my face, I’m blaming you both.”

Shane throws up his arms in defense. “I’ll take all the blame. But it won’t. Trust us.”

My two brothers regard me with pleading, yet conniving eyes. Even Goose joins them, rubbing his head against Shane’s thigh while shooting me puppy dog eyes.

I release a breath. “Fine, let’s get this over with.”

By the time Shane and Gavin are through with me, I’m wearing gray sweatpants, a black, long-sleeved compression shirt, and a backward hat.

“I never dress like this. She’s going to think something is up.”

Gavin shakes his head. “Don’t acknowledge it. You’re wearing regular clothes. You’re overthinking things. Walk in and do what you normally do.”

“I look like I’m going to the gym.” I tug at the tight shirt, adjusting the fabric.

“Will you stop being a little bitch for one goddamn second? Be a man and go get your woman. The longer you go without making a move or trying to make something happen, the more of an opening you give to another dude. Cole Benton was already sniffing around her once. You think he won’t try again? And he’s just trying to get inside her pussy?—”

“Hey,” I snap. “One more mention of her pussy, and I’m going to punch the word right out of your mouth.”

“Rawwr.” Shane mimics a cat. “I see how it is. You really like this chick.”

I grab Shane by the shoulders, forcing him to stand. “Alright, time to go before I lose my shit on you.”

“Why is it always me you’re losing your shit on and never Gavin?”

“Because Gavin knows when to keep his mouth shut.”

Gavin laughs while Shane pouts.

“Bye, fuckers.”

Shane turns to me at the front door. “Good luck getting that pus— I mean, um, you know what I mean.”

Gavin smacks the back of Shane’s head.

Tonight will tell if my brothers are geniuses or complete idiots.

My money’s on idiots.