Ravenous Kingpin (Kingpins of the Syndicate #4)

22. Emory

CHAPTER 22

Emory

K illian was… intense. A lot more intense than I remembered him being six years ago.

After he took me into the bathroom and cleaned me up, he fetched another one of his shirts and a pair of panties.

I might as well enjoy this while it lasted because it was bound to end, and maybe these memories would be what would carry me into my old age.

We made our way to the first-floor kitchen while I pondered what to do with Atticus. To give him the information on the top dog of the Syndicate was to put a permanent target on my back. Even worse, on my daughter’s back.

Swiveling around, I pushed Killian to sit and fetched a clean mug from the wire rack. There was warm coffee and breakfast waiting for us, clearly some of Killian’s guards standing in as chefs.

After pouring him a warm cup and sliding the sugar and cream toward him, I prepared one for myself.

“I’m guessing your family doesn’t know you have something going on with Atticus,” Killian remarked, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Or of your dealings with the Tijuana cartel. Well, aside from your uncle.”

I took a seat opposite him and steeled my spine.

“If they did, you wouldn’t have anything to hold over me,” I reminded him, taking a sip of my coffee. “Besides, my uncle only knows about Atticus.”

“True, but I also think there’s a lot more to it than you’re letting on.”

He was perceptive. Too perceptive.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk business but…” I smiled wryly. “I don’t want to talk business.”

“We’ve had sex at least ten times. I let you see my demons.” I pinched my eyes closed, preparing myself for what was to come. “I’m your husband, and I vowed in front of God and judge to protect you for better or worse?—”

“Can’t you drop it?” I sighed.

But I knew the answer already. Killian was a stubborn asshole when he wanted to be. It was what made him a worthy opponent in the mafia. It was what made it possible for him to restore his father’s criminal empire and expand its worth.

“I cannot discuss Syndicate business with you,” I added.

He shook his head. “But this—whatever this is—isn’t Syndicate business. You’re doing something on your own, and I want you to tell me what.”

“No.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, releasing a heavy sigh. “Em, I need to know what we’re up against. There’s organ trafficking passing through your territory and everyone knows nothing happens in Nevada without your knowledge. Is it connected to your dealings with Atticus and the cartels? What the hell is going on there?” He was too smart and too inquisitive, getting too close to the truth for comfort. “This is for your own safety.”

“Are you saying you don’t trust me to keep myself protected?”

Killian cocked his head to the side. “Not at all. I’m saying I want to help you destroy whoever you’re after.”

It was tempting, but if he knew it was our daughter I was after, he’d be singing a different tune.

“Why didn’t you call me?” I blinked at the sudden change of subject. He was either attempting to disorient me or give me whiplash. “After you left, did you forget the number?”

I gulped. “I didn’t forget it.”

My heart screamed with the silent admission, at the numerous times I wanted to call him, but if I had, my father would have killed him. If he didn’t spare me, let alone his own grandchild, he wouldn’t have spared the man responsible.

“I was scared,” I finally said, my voice soft. “My father learned I lost my virginity, and he vowed to avenge my ‘honor.’ What a load of shit.” It was the closest to the truth I could get. Killian studied me, and I feared he could see too much in my eyes, so I lowered my gaze. “I truly am sorry, but if I’d have reached out, Father would have killed you.”

Taking the mug from my hands, he placed it down on the table, then tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“You have so little faith in me, Em,” he muttered. “Say you’re mine.”

“What?” I croaked, then cleared my throat. “Sorry, what?”

“Say the words. Say you trust me, and I promise you that I’ll protect you from the devil himself.” His voice dropped and he dragged his finger over the pulse fluttering in my wrist.

A full-body shiver took hold of me as he stroked my skin, up and down, like he couldn’t get enough.

“You know why I tattooed that date on my ring finger and your nickname on my chest?” he asked.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted you as close as possible to my heart, and I liked the idea of committing to you. And only to you.” He motioned to himself. “I’ve been yours since day one. Let me help you.”

I wetted my lips, refusing to listen to the voices in my head that urged me to trust him. But old habits were hard to break and paranoia was hard to kill. My father killed my mother for trying to get me away from his life. Killian could do the same to me if he learned about our daughter. After all, I kept her existence a secret from everyone.

No, I couldn’t pull him into this fight, just as I couldn’t drag my brother and cousins into it.

If I went down, I would go down alone.