Red (Hell’s Jury MC #5)

22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

Stella

There’s at least 16 hamsters running around in my brain as Lachlan and I drive over to Erin’s house. I’m worried that my clothes are too casual. I’m worried that Gabby will reject me. I’m worried that if she does, Lachlan will cut me loose.

I’m jealous of Erin, her small stature, her smooth dark complexion, her long glossy hair. She’s opposite of me and I’m fretting over the incongruency of Lachlan’s choices. He must have loved her once; after all, he married her.

On the basketball court, I’m confident. With my friends, even with my parents. But meeting Erin and Gabby, seeing the three of them together, is going to blow me apart. I want Lachlan so much I see threats around every corner.

More for my sake than his I take his hand. “You okay?”

His eyes are focused on the road. “I’m nervous.” He squeezes my hand and let’s go.

“Me too. I feel like we have no plan on how to deal with this.”

“We follow Meredith’s plan. You meet Gabby, then I spend time with her while the dragon lady watches us. And you get to hang out with the ex. You’re a basketball player. She gets difficult, just dribble her.”

I laugh. “Now there’s a plan.”

Erin greets us stiffly when we arrive, then takes Lachlan aside. I wander into the living room to see Trula sitting on the couch, Gabby next to her, a book in her lap. My body goes numb and maybe unfairly, I want to throttle Trula for shoving her relationship with Gabby in Lachlan’s face.

Probably overreacting, Stella.

“I didn’t realize you were coming with Lachlan,” Trula says by way of greeting.

“Should I have called ahead?” I reply coldly.

Gabby looks at me, then tucks herself closer to Trula. She seems about the same size as Sorcha, who I think might be tall for her age. Dark hair and complexion. Corn rows. She’s beautiful, looks like her mom, though I can see glimpses of Lachlan in her face.

Erin and Lachlan enter the room just as a man comes downstairs. He’s short and compact, African American like Erin. Older though. In his mid-thirties.

“Lachlan,” he says as he walks toward him, hand extended. “Good to see you.”

“Theo,” Lachlan says in a neutral tone.

“Daddy!” Gabby squeals and runs towards him. Not Lachlan, but Theo. “Where were you?” She holds up her arms for Theo to pick her up.

Lachlan watches them with sadness and pain, but somehow keeps his composure.

Me on the other, not so much. I burst into tears. His life is hell right now, and he’s managing it. But watching Gabby run right past him like he’s invisible. That might be the thing that breaks him.

Everyone looks at me, Erin dismayed, Theo embarrassed. “Bathroom,” I choke and Trula points towards the hall.

Gabby’s little voice follows me as I head out of the room. “What’s wrong with the lady?”

I don’t hear the rest. I close and lock the bathroom door, then grab some tissue and try to stem the flow of tears.

A few minutes later, there’s a tap at the door, then Lachlan’s voice, worried, “Are you alright, Stella?”

I stare at myself in the mirror. Red puffy eyes. Scored cheeks. “Yeah. Just stupid. Go hang with Gabby. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Are you sure?”

Please go away Lachlan and leave me to my misery. “Yeah. Spending time with your daughter is more important than me weeping over stuff I can’t control.” I choke back a sob but can’t hide the break in my voice.

“Okay,” he says softly. “But if you need me…”

“Yeah, I will.” Irrationally, I’m disappointed in him for leaving me, so a few more tears roll down my cheeks, then I will myself to grow up.

After I get myself under control, I wash my face. I look like I’ve been crying, but then I have and everyone knows it.

When I return to the living room, Erin and Theo are sitting side by side on the couch. I stand awkwardly by the wall.

“Where’s Trula?” I ask, knowing full well where she is, but dreading the answer all the same.

“Outside with Gabby and Lachlan. The visits are supervised,” Erin says somewhat snidely.

“We tell Trula that it isn’t necessary, but she’s in charge,” Theo says.

I stare hard at him. “Does Gabby call Lachlan dad too?”

“She does,” Erin replies. “But the situation is confusing to a six-year-old.”

The tears are good and gone and replaced by the protective girlfriend. I’m trying not to blow my top. “Maybe it’s because she sees him for a couple of hours every other week.”

“You’re upset,” Theo says. “I get that. We have as little influence over family services as Lachlan does. They decide.”

Stella, don’t call bullshit.

Instead, I file the comment away to ask my dad or Meredith because I don’t believe it for a minute. “Do you two support Lachlan’s request to see Gabby on weekends without supervision?”

“It’s not really any of your business, is it?” Erin says.

Theo squeezes her knee. “Erin. Give her a break. She’s new to all this and….” He lets the word trail.

I suck some air into my lungs. I know this is a delicate situation, but good grief. “Young. Was that what you were going to say?”

Theo hangs on to his composure. “Yes. You are young. You don’t understand the situation.”

Don’t dribble them, Stella. Don’t dribble them. “Perhaps young but mature enough to understand how devastating it is to Lachlan to hear Gabby call you daddy and treat him like he doesn’t exist. You could have waited until he and Gabby were outside before making your grand entrance.” I’m furious and my tone reflects it.

Theo nods his head as he looks down at his shoes. “You’re right I guess. I’m trying to make Lachlan understand that I’m not the enemy.”

“That worked well, didn’t it?”

I can’t read Theo’s expression and maybe he’s holding his temper like I am, or maybe he’s genuine. “It’s Stella, right?” he says as he waves at an armchair. “Please sit.”

I look at the chair, want to refuse, but that would be ridiculous, so I sit.

An awkward silence follows. In my head I’m saying, ‘You don’t have to stay with me. I’ll just sit here like a good little girl. I won’t steal anything.’

Of course, I don’t. The fire’s already burning; why throw gas on it?

Theo clears his throat. “So. I hear you’re a college basketball player.”

I lose my battle to stay calm. “Lachlan’s mother was killed two days ago. Have you heard?” I don’t want this to turn into some trivial conversation.

“Yes,” Erin replies. “I’m very sorry that happened.”

“We’re all shocked,” Theo says, then adds. “Do you think it was a revenge killing?”

I can’t believe my ears. “A what?”

“A revenge killing. Getting back at Lachlan for something he did.”

“What something would that be?”

Erin licks her lips. “I don’t know. But he’s involved with some very dangerous criminals.”

“You don’t really know him, do you?” I say to Erin. “I mean, you were both young,” I glance at Theo. “Younger even than me. And I get that it was a rough period of your lives. And he hasn’t really told me about the breakdown of your relationship because it’s painful for him. But whatever he’s done in the past, underneath all that is a good, caring man who wouldn’t hurt a hair on Gabby’s head.”

Erin looks rattled. “We know that. Honestly. But it’s his lifestyle. What if Gabby’s with him when someone else tries to take revenge?”

“I feel like you’re fishing for information. Anything you can get to use against Lachlan.”

“That’s not it,” Theo murmurs. “But our concern is legitimate. It’s possible that something from Lachlan’s past has come back to haunt him.”

Or Erin’s past, I think, but don’t say.

Maybe it’s the look on my face, or maybe Erin understands the dangerous territory we’ve wandered in to. “You’re right,” she says. “We’re just worried. For Gabby and Lachlan.”

How lovely of her to include Lachlan in her worries. There’s little point in continuing the conversation so I turn my attention to Theo. “Yes. I’m a college level basketball player. Nevada Uni. Wolf Pack.”

He looks uncertain, maybe thinks I’m baiting him. “Winning team last year. How is it shaping up for this year?”

“So far, so good. We won our first pre-season game against Las Vegas, but pre-season really isn’t a good predictor for the season.”

“Lot of travel involved?”

It’s a silly question, because he already knows the answer. “Some, but I don’t mind.”

“You planning to go national?”

I’m trying to sound nice, not sure I’m pulling it off. “That’s not really up to me. I’m a sophomore, have two years left. Too early to tell.”

“I see. Not being scouted yet.”

“No, but my older sister is. She’s center guard and talented. She’ll get recruited.”

“And if you do?”

That’s a confusing question. “And if I do what?”

“Well, your chances of staying in Nevada are slim. You’ll probably have to move out of state.”

Aha, the trap. “The chances of being recruited is less than one percent so I’m not banking on anything.”

“I see,” Theo says. “What’s your backup plan?”

I feel like I’m the girlfriend talking to Lachlan’s parents about my intentions. I decide I’ve had enough. “I’ll marry Lachlan, have babies, probably eat too much chocolate and get fat.”

Erin let’s out a bubble of laughter. “I think that’s gonna happen to me.” She rubs her belly.

My stomach drops. “You’re pregnant.”

She looks at Theo, her eyes shining with love. “Yes. We want to expand our family.”

And there it is again. Our family. Her’s and Theo’s.

“Congratulations,” I say in a careful tone. “Lachlan and I hope to expand our family too.”

Yup, that’s me. A ruiner of moods. Fortunately, Lachlan enters carrying Gabby. She’s smiling up at him, her eyes shining with adoration. To Erin, she says, “Can this daddy live with us?”

Lachlan grins down at her. “I don’t think that would work, but you know I’m gonna come and see you again.” He sets her on her feet.

I stand. I’ve never wanted to leave a place as badly as I want to leave this one.

Lachlan says to Gabby, “This is Stella. She’s my friend.”

“Oh.” To me she says, “Are you sad?”

I’m on the verge of tears again for a reason I can’t fathom. “A little bit, but I’ll get happy again.”

“Will you come back with my daddy to see me?”

I glance at Erin, then Trula who followed Lachlan into the room. “I’d like that very much.”

Erin stands. “Daddy’s got to go. He’ll come over again.”

Lachlan leans down and kisses the top of Gabby’s head. “See you soon, pumpkin.” His eyes are hooded as he watches Gabby race over to Theo and climb on him.

“Bye,” she says dismissively.

I leave the house before I say something inappropriate in front of a six-year-old. Lachlan follows, opens the car door for me, then shuts it once I’m inside.

He gets behind the wheel and backs out of the driveway.

“How’d it go?” We both say at the same time. Then laugh. Some of the tension dissipates.

“I’m sorry this upset you,” he says. “You don’t have to come again if you don’t want to.”

“And leave you alone with the vultures? Not a chance?” I stroke his thigh. “How was your visit with Gabby?”

“Gabby’s good. Amazing.” He frowns. “Not from anything I’ve done.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” I reply, but we both know I’m full of shit. Lachlan has never been a big part of Gabby’s life.

His shoulders slump. “Maybe I’m wrong about this. Maybe I should just let her go. She’s got a good life with Erin and Theo. They’re stable, good jobs. Financially secure.”

I get what he’s thinking and why, but it’s not big picture. “She’s six. She won’t forget you.” I have friends whose parents divorced and one or the other parent has taken off. They blame themselves. “You’ll disappear from her life and maybe at her age right now, it won’t appear to impact her, but as she grows up, she’ll start to wonder why you stopped coming to see her. She’ll ask Erin. Erin will blame you, which would be true, because you gave up. Gabby won’t understand when you say you did it for her. All she’ll know is that her real dad didn’t want her.”

When Lachlan doesn’t immediately reply, I get scared. I’ve overstepped, I’m lecturing him. He’s gonna get sick and tired of me.

But he doesn’t say anything like that when he finally speaks. “You’re right, Stella.” He grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Thank you.”