Redeem Me (Beckett Brothers #2)

44. Caelon

Chapter Forty-Four

CAELON

When I arrive home, Ivy is in her room. I hover outside her door but don’t knock. There’s nothing I can say to make her feel better. She has no concept of our feud with the O’Connors. It’s spanned generations. My father bears the scars of their violence on his face. I bear mine on my heart. I don’t expect her to understand, but I had hoped she’d trust me to deal with things my way. It doesn’t mean I’m not choosing her. On the contrary, I’m choosing to protect her.

I sleep with my bedroom door open in case she wants to talk, but I don’t hear the click of her door until the next morning when the kids start making noise.

‘Good morning, guys.’ Her enthusiasm is so forced, she sounds borderline hysterical.

I rush into the corridor in time to see her take Owen and Orla by the hand and lead them down the stairs. The damn dog is wagging her tail like a whip as the kids fuss over her.

I inhale a deep breath, then follow them to the kitchen, checking my phone for the hundredth time, in anticipation of an update from Killian.

Nothing .

Liz is in the kitchen whisking batter for pancakes. ‘Morning, kids. Nutella or syrup?’

‘Nutella!’ they both shriek, racing to the table.

Ivy heads straight for the coffee machine. Her hands tremble as she reaches for a cup.

‘Let me do that.’ I rush across the room, noticing her flinch at the sound of my voice.

‘Daddy!’ Orla and Owen exclaim, launching themselves from the table in a race to get to me. I only wish Ivy had a fraction of their enthusiasm.

I’ve well and truly fucked things up.

If only I could get her to see I’m trying to keep her, my children, and myself safe.

Ivy keeps her back to me, loads a capsule into the machine, and hits the start button. When she finally does turn around, her eyes are red-rimmed, her cheeks covered in strawberry-shaped blotches, and her eyebrows knitted together in a wariness I’ve never seen before.

‘Good morning,.’ I say cautiously. Thankfully, the kids are too engrossed in Liz’s pancake flipping to pay any attention to the tension between Ivy and me.

‘Is it?’ she scowls at me. ‘Have you had a change of heart? Finally come to your senses? Chosen life over death? Realised that neither your dead wife nor your girlfriend would want you to act so violently?’

‘I—’

I’ve been so consumed with my own desires, I hadn’t stopped to think about what Isabella would want.

But she isn’t here to stop me because they ripped her away from us. And while I’ve moved on, fallen in love again, I haven’t forgotten.

‘Spare me the bullshit,’ Ivy whispers. ‘The only reason I’m still here is because I would never walk out on your children.’ As she struts towards the open French doors, the sun bounces off her blonde beach waves.

‘Ivy, please,’ I follow her outside, brushing a hand over her waist. She jerks away like she’s been shocked.

‘I gave you a choice and you chose.’ She shrugs. ‘You know what I think?’ she says in a hushed voice, swivelling to face me.

‘Tell me,’ I beg. Because while she’s talking to me, at least there’s a chance I can make her understand. If there was no hope, she wouldn’t waste her breath, would she?

She places a hand on her hip. ‘You’ve endured more than two years of the worst type of misery.’ Her expression softens a fraction. ‘And I think that now you’re so close to finally finding happiness again, you’re fighting it. Because deep down, there’s a part of you that still doesn’t feel that you deserve it.’

Her words hit my heart like a hammer.

‘I told you from the start I’m a bad man.’

‘You’re only as bad as your behaviour.’ A pained expression streaks across her face. ‘It’s not too late. Don’t do this. Choose again. We could have it all.’ She rests a palm on my chest and exhales a shaky breath. Electricity hums in the air between us.

‘We will have it all.’ I place a hand on the flat of her stomach. I want her so badly. I want a future with her. I want her to carry my babies. But I want all of that and the security of knowing that no one can take it away from me.

Her eyes fall to my hand. She pauses for a beat, the significance of what I’m offering slowly sinking in. Her eyes widen. Her chin rises and her gaze finally meets mine.

The shrill ring of my phone pierces the air and shatters the moment like a bomb detonating in a glass house.

I pluck it from my pocket. Ivy rips her hand from my chest. Pain lances her features. She takes a slow step back, shakes her head in disgust, then stalks back into the kitchen.

It’s Killian. I swipe to answer.

‘He’s awake.’

Damon has the Bentley ready for me outside the front of the house. Killian’s already spoken to him and put him on standby. After all, he might be in my service, but ultimately, Killian is his boss.

‘Ready?’ His face is grim as he opens the door for me.

My stomach churns with bile.

‘As I’ll ever be.’ I smooth a hand over the front of my suit and glance up at the front window. Ivy is nowhere to be seen, but Orla’s little face appears, pressing against the glass. My heart flips in my chest. I wave goodbye, blow her a kiss and pray it won’t be for the last time.

Killian has paid the hospital security staff to make themselves scarce. The cameras have conveniently gone down. There will be no trace of us ever being there.

I’ve been over it and over it in my head so many times.

Ask the questions.

Do whatever it takes to get the answers.

Put an end to Danny.

Put an end to the O’Connors.

Put an end to the incessant rage roiling beneath my skin.

Forty minutes later, we reach the Blackrock Clinic, Dublin’s most expensive private hospital. I should know. I’ve been paying Danny’s medical bills for the past two years to keep the fucker alive so I could kill him myself.

Killian, James, Sean and Rian are already in the carpark waiting for us, grim-faced and glowering. The slight swell beneath their suits assures me they’re armed. I run a hand over my own weapon, a Walther PPK nestled discreetly in the inside pocket of my jacket. A sleek, sharp folding knife is concealed in the other.

I’ve never killed a man before.

I’ve done some questionable things over the years to protect my family and our businesses, but I’ve never taken a life. Now the time has come, the moment I’ve spent years waiting for is within reach, the revenge I’ve been relishing suddenly doesn’t seem so sweet.

It seems tragic.

But I will do whatever it takes to uncover the truth and protect my family.

My brothers nod in a silent greeting. Even Rian doesn’t open his trap. There are no words. Every cell in my body vibrates with nervous anticipation. I glance at my fingers. Despite my internal turmoil, they remain steady.

We stride in through the sliding doors and are met with white walls, white floors and spotlights so bright they’re blinding. The reception desk and hallways are deserted.

‘Third room on the right,’ Killian says without any hint of emotion.

The sound of our shoes on the hard floor echoes off the sterile walls.

When we reach the door, James places a palm on my chest, halting me. I swear he must feel the pounding of my heart.

‘You don’t have to do this.’ His eyes are so dark, it’s impossible to distinguish his pupils from his irises. ‘I’ll do it. You don’t have to have any part in this.’

‘I do.’ I reach for the handle before I change my mind.