Redemption (Rogue Nation MC #1)

5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Theo

It was difficult to concentrate on the papers the doctor was showing me. Best I could understand was that I had been on suppressants too long and my body needed to adjust to some kind of normal before I was put on birth control. I’d been taking the little yellow pill every day for the last ten years and a shot once a month. From what I understood, that could affect my ability to get pregnant. Not that I was going to tell the doctor that there was no worry at all about that since my 25 th birthday was in seven days, and I wouldn’t be alive to bear children. Hell, I would probably never experience a full heat.

I only spoke of my impending doom to one person. That was my tutor when I was eighteen years old. He was such a gentle, kind person. I have to live every day with what I did that caused him to lose his life.

“Mr. Jacobs… can I ask you something?” He told me many times before to call him Myron, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“Of course, Theo. Is it something you’re not understanding in your lessons?” He always went so far beyond when it came to me getting my lessons.

“Well, no, sir. I got all that. I was wondering about something, umm, personal.” He might reject my request, so I hid my head low.

He got up from his chair by the window and walked over to the door of my room. Quietly opening the door and looking both left and right, he closed it again with a ‘click’. “OK Theo, we’re alone. You can speak freely. Whatever you say to me will stay with me. I won’t tell a soul. I want the best for you.” He sat on the foot of my bed to be closer to me and took my hand. I never realized how comforting a simple, friendly touch could be.

Swallowing a lump the size of Texas in my throat was harder than I expected. “Well, sir. First, I’m grateful to my parents because they took in an orphan to raise as their own child and have given me most of what I could ask for, including a family.” I pulled my hand back into my lap and wrung my fingers together. My go to nervous habit.

“Buuuuutttt?” His drawn-out word seemed to break a bit of tension in the air.

“I get my lessons on English, math, writing, history and social studies, but nothing on humanity itself. There are things I’ve been wondering, like why am I home schooled? Since my designation at 8 years old as an omega, I haven’t been to school and have gone out very little in public. I used to see my Poppy a couple times a week at his office or his home. Since he passed, I have been nowhere. I’m not allowed to talk about him. I have armed guards that even follow me out into the backyard. Is this the normal way for an omega to live? I know there are laws that control some things we can do, but are we not safe out in public? Even with suppressants?” By the time I got to the point, I had wrung my fingers so hard they were changing colors from the peach tone of my skin to white and bright red. A few places were going to have obvious bruises. Not that anyone would care.

He reached out and untangled my fingers and held my hand as he rubbed some color back into my digits. “No, Theo, it’s not normal for you to be locked up all the time. It has nothing to do with being an omega. While it’s true that some alphas go a bit overboard with control of their omega partners, I’ve never encountered another person, alpha, beta, omega or woman who’s been locked away, as you have. It bothers me more than I like to admit. I don’t appreciate how high handed your father is with staff and visitors that come to the house. You are the only reason I stay at this job. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, ever. I’ve quietly inquired with the authorities about your circumstances and with you being the age you are, there’s nothing anyone can do for you right now. Once you turn 25, then your life will be your own. All I can do is try my best to stick around and protect you the best I can.” It tugged at my heart to see the mix of honesty and fear in his eyes.

“That’s OK Myron. I won’t make it to 25. Now that I know not everyone lives like I do, I think I can handle it. It would just break my heart to know that every omega everywhere had to live with the restrictions I do. I can be brave enough for just me, just not brave enough for an entire part of society.” I found it easier and easier to talk to him. He actually cared about what happened to me.

“What do you mean you won’t make it to 25, Theo? You’re not thinking about harming yourself, are you?” It wasn’t an unexpected question, given the circumstances.

“Oh, no, sir. I’ve just heard things around the house. Where money’s involved and all that. As I’m sure you’re aware. I’ll be fine. I’m down on myself today. It was just something I was wondering.” There was no way I could tell him that my parents were going to kill me. I’d known for a few years, but there was no way I could burden him with that tidbit of information. Something could happen to him if he tried to do something about it, and where would I be then? I’d lose the only friend I’d ever had.

A knock sounded on my door and before either of us could do more than stand and face the doorway, it opened. An armed guard announced that lesson time was over, Myron had to leave. With a sad smile, he patted me on the shoulder. “Read those 2 chapters and write that paper. See you next week, Theo.”

I nod my head in his direction. “Yes sir. Thank you for everything, sir.” I knew he would understand the meaning behind my words.

“Of course, Theo, anytime.”

Those were the last words Myron Jacobs and I ever said to one another. He was fired that afternoon. I was unaware until a few years later that there were microphones in my rooms and my father heard everything. Once I discovered the listening devices, my heart stopped. I hoped and prayed to the goddess that Mr. Jacobs was at least still alive. Although there was some doubt about that, it broke my heart. I never trusted speaking to anyone else again.

“Theo, are you listening to me?” The stoic voice of the doctor broke through my haze.

“I’m sorry, sir, I must have wandered off into my head. What was that again?” There was no way I could tell him about my memories. It would put others in danger, and there was no way I could do that. The doctor was strained and clinical, but he was nice enough and just doing the job he was hired for.

“I said that your first heat being off the suppressants may shock you. Honestly, I’d be surprised if it wasn’t outright painful. Most omegas go through at least one full heat before they’re put on suppressants, but from your records I see you were put on them a few years before your heat would have ever presented. While it’s not usually done that way, it’s not unheard of. It’s not surprising at all with your father being a politician and the constant stream of alphas in and out of your home, doing business with him. I’m sure it was done for your protection.” Well, that just sounded like he was justifying what my family did to me.

Being the dutiful omega, I was expected to be, I cleared my throat and articulated as to be heard by whomever was listening. “Yes sir, my father always puts family safety before all else.” Those words tasted so bitter on my tongue.

“Yes, yes, well, once your first heat is done, we’ll chart out what birth control to put you on so you can prepare your body for mating and children. You’ll make some powerful alpha thrilled, son.” The man was completely oblivious to what was going on. It was as if he was speaking to a terminal patient for the last time. Making unspoken promises for a future that would never be. He just didn’t know it… yet.

The afternoon passed almost too slowly. Father hadn’t bothered to grace me with his presence in over 2 weeks. I hadn’t seen mother in over 2 months and Gavin only showed his face in my rooms to either throw a punch, choke me with his cock or belittle my life. My family couldn’t have made it more obvious that they wished I didn’t exist in their world. I knew that time was drawing to a close for me. Part of me wished for something in my life to be normal, even if it was for just a moment. To just be a normal person without the literal sword hanging over my neck. I’d give anything to just laugh and smile. To feel another person’s touch. Not even sexually. That was saved for my fantasies dreamed out of my books. I wasn’t gullible enough to believe that an alpha would rescue me and love me for the rest of my days. Speaking of days… 6… that’s all that was left. For the next 6 days, my life would be my own, in these rooms, alone. Then nothing. I tried to be a good person. I never ranted, raved, or fought my family or their employees. Never spoke out of turn and tried my best to halt damning thoughts in their tracks. I’d been resigned to my fate for years now. Hopefully, Poppy would be on the other side waiting for me. That’s what I held onto. Simple hope.

I was engrossed in a love triangle between the captain of a pirate ship, his first mate and a newly gained cabin boy they wanted to train in the art of pleasuring them. Halfway through my favorite scene, the one where the captain realizes that he’s in love with not only the cabin boy, but his first mate too, my bedroom door flew open, smacking the wall behind it. The loud bang startled me from the pages of my book and instead of my imagination conjuring the captain or first mate kissing me and making me his own, my reality shown my brother standing at the foot of my bed staring at me as if I just smashed his favorite toy.

“What ya reading, Theodore?” Gavin had never once in my life referred to me by my nickname. Only by my full given name and never my last name. He told me more than once that I was adopted and therefore not worthy of the sacred name Mossdale. Even if his own parents bequeathed it to me at my adoption.

I curled my knees to my chest as I turned off my Kindle. “Not much Gavin, rereading from the lesson plan for the paper I have to write this weekend.” Gavin took nothing I said at face value, ever. Maybe he was insecure about my standing in the family. I knew there was nothing for him to be insecure about. I knew my place. Not that there would be a place for me much longer.

“Father said there was no need for you to study for the next couple of days. He’s put off your lessons for a couple of weeks. Apparently, you need a vacation of sorts. To get out and get some fresh air.” He couldn’t disguise the contempt and disgust in his voice. “I’ve been tasked with taking you out on the town for a birthday treat. You’re turning 25 and you should be introduced to a few alphas so you can get used to being around them off your suppressants.”

“I don’t know Gavin. I’d love to go out and socialize with you and a few friends, but I won’t know how to act. I don’t want to stress you out or embarrass you in front of your friends. Maybe father would have a get together here at home for my birthday. That way, if I become stressed and it triggers my heat, I won’t embarrass anyone in the family. I can just disappear and lock myself away.” My body relaxed a bit as I realized he wasn’t here to hit, punch or kick me as he’d done in the past.

“Nope, father wants you out of the house for this. He said that I am to take you to a few bars, allow you to drink your fill, flirt and party. Kinda a last hoorah as a single omega. I’m just there to make sure nothing goes too far. You know, your mated alpha is to be the first and only one to fuck you.” The grin forming on his face became scarier than any he ever had when he came to beat on me. This one was more of a perverted leer; it honestly scared the shit out of me.

“OK, when do you want to plan this? I’ve never gone out to celebrate before.” I didn’t say that I had celebrated nothing at all before.

“We leave in an hour. Father hired a car for us for the night. We’re going to a few bars where my friends and I usually go to pick up omegas.” This was it. Tonight was the night. I rose from my bed and headed to my bath to wash, change, and mentally prepare myself. “What is it Theodore, no worries, no concerns, no more questions?” The smirk in his voice felt like a finger creeping up my spine, and I shivered a bit.

“No Gavin, I trust you and father. If you have it all planned out, then I have nothing to worry over, do I?” I didn’t even bother to look at him. I found the top of my bare feet more interesting.

Light shuffling footsteps on the carpet were louder than they should have been. “Well then, see you in an hour. Wear something nice. Don’t embarrass me.” My bedroom door clicked closed and I crumbled to the floor, sobbing. I’d been preparing for this and resigned to it for almost ten years, but I now realized I truly wasn’t ready for it. I didn’t need a captain or even someone with “first mate” status. I just wanted someone. Even if that someone had to fake caring about me for a moment. I wanted, no, I needed to feel loved by someone, just once before this all ended. I needed to feel as if I was worth something other than the slips of paper left to me in a will by Poppy. That’s what I would do. Drink lightly and sneak away for just a few stolen moments of fantasy before my end came.