Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

10. Eden

TEN

EDEN

Do you remember…

Do you remember when we were little?

How we’d spend our days out playing in the backyard? Barefoot in the grass? The sun on our faces and hope in our hearts? We’d dance and dance. Make up our own ballets for Mom and Dad to watch. Momma would clap and Daddy would pick us bouquets from Momma’s flower bed. They’d promise we were the best dancers in the world, and he’d take both of us into his arms, tell us he was the luckiest daddy alive to have two daughters like us.

Do you remember how he’d take Momma’s hand and pull her out onto the lawn to dance?

He’d hug her tight beneath the summer sky, and we’d skip circles around them. We’d laugh and we’d dream, and we all knew life was going to be amazing, just as long as we had each other.

Do you remember when we were still a family?

Do you remember when I was your best friend?

I remember. And I wish I could go back.

Harmony

Anguish crushed and beat and slayed. I felt them like physical blows as a gentle breeze flittered through the branches of the trees that surrounded my backyard.

I’d sunk to the porch steps when I’d been sifting through my mail and found a letter from my sister hidden in the stack. Unable to remain standing while I’d ripped into the blue envelope.

There’d been no return address, but it had been postmarked in Washington.

What was this? An apology? An explanation?

Tears blurred my eyes as I clutched the letter to my chest. I inhaled deeply and looked up to the same blue summer sky my sister had been talking about. I wanted to reach into the letter and go back to those days. To remember the way she was begging me to do.

God. I felt almost desperate to see her face, to know she was okay, to ask her why.

All while struggling with so much anger, I didn’t know how to process it.

Her desertion.

Her betrayal.

The lies she’d cast.

I didn’t understand and I wanted to.

But I doubted very much there was a way to get there. No way to undo all the wrongs that’d bound our lives. The trust that had been so brittle years before had been completely shattered after she’d come back three months ago.

She told us she’d changed, that she’d wanted to make amends. Then she’d turned around and delivered the harshest blow—she’d stolen everything we had then disappeared again.

I peeled the letter from my chest and looked at the handwriting that was so familiar.

Hating that I missed her so badly.

Hating that I loved her so much.

Hating that I hated her for who she’d become.

Because I did…I remembered when she was good. And I’d do anything to go back there, too. To change it before she’d spiraled.

I jolted when I heard a car slowing out front and the crunch of tires in the gravel drive. I swiped the moisture from my cheek and stood. I folded the letter and stuffed it into my pocket before I moved around the small yard and to the side gate. It opened to the single carport, and I saw that my daddy’s Honda was parked behind my car.

The door opened just as I stepped through the gate.

He stood.

My chest squeezed at the sight of him.

So handsome at his 57-years, his once brown hair now gray. His history—the joys, the sorrows, the achievements, the tragedies—were written in the deep-set lines that were carved into his kind face.

I wouldn’t so much as call him rugged, his soul quiet, his demeanor unthreatening, though there was something powerful about him, too.

He was my savior. My rock. Strong and capable. But my spirit also recognized his. How he’d been broken down by the losses he’d been dealt.

“Hey, Daddy. What are you doing here?” I latched the gate behind me.

He smiled, so soft, the corners of his eyes creasing as he looked at me with the same warmth he’d watched me with my whole life. “Just came to see my best girl.”

We both ignored the sting of what he’d said, and I swore, that letter I’d hidden in my pocket felt like it just might catch fire.

“You did, huh? You just saw me yesterday,” I teased. I moved his way and welcomed the feel of his arms as he wrapped them around me.

Tight.

Ripe with affection.

Pulling back, he held me by the outside of the arms. “That was work and it doesn’t count…besides, I feel like I haven’t talked to you in ages. I’ve missed you.”

Okay, so maybe I’d been avoiding him a bit.

It was better to hide rather than to face the questions that would inevitably come.

No, I wasn’t ashamed of working at that club. But my daddy? He would instantly go into protector mode. He would tell me it wasn’t my concern. Say I didn’t need to worry. Claim it was his burden to bear. That it was insane for me to get another job even when I’d promised him that I was working on trying to find a solution.

But when he found out where I was actually working? He’d go nuts. Worry himself sick. Be concerned I’d be in harm’s way.

So far outside of my element. Of where my devotion lay.

Of where I belonged.

“Do you want to come inside and have some tea?”

“That’d be really nice.”

We moved up the front walk, and he followed me into my little house that I loved. It wasn’t much, but it was a safe haven.

Peaceful.

Quiet.

My heart ached a little when I admitted it was lonely, too. Sometimes the peace that radiated from the walls echoed with sadness. With a hollowness that reflected the hole burned through the middle of me.

We entered into the small living room stuffed with a cozy couch and a ton of pillows and a slew of pictures of my momma and daddy. Some of my students. Tessa and me, too.

There was a hall at the far end that led to the two bedrooms to the right.

On the left was an arch that dipped into the old kitchen. There was a nook with a small round table surrounded by four chairs, but my favorite part was the sunporch to the very back.

I made us each a cup of Earl Grey and eased out onto the screened porch that could have been mistaken for a greenhouse with the number of plants and shrubs I grew in there.

My daddy was already sitting on a rocker that overlooked the forest that hedged my backyard.

“Here you go, Daddy.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

I sat in the rocker next to him, sighing, letting go of the strain, the questions, and fell into the comfort.

I guessed I really did like the simple things.

Trent’s face flashed through my mind. Contrary to everything I’d ever imagined for my life. And still, I couldn’t shake it—this feeling that I wanted something I shouldn’t. Every night that I slipped into his club and pretended like he didn’t affect me made me want him that much more. Every day he picked up his son intensified the ache. Each time he looked at me like he was feeling exactly the same made me light up.

A fire burning bright where everything had gone dim.

But I knew better…knew he was everything that would scar me in the end.

I shook it off and turned my focus on my daddy since I could feel him peering my way.

“How are you, Eden?” he asked. Genuine and true.

“I’m fine,” I peeped, not so honest.

The creases deepened at the corner of his eyes. Slashes of concern. “You’ve seemed…distant lately. Tired.”

I took a sip of the steaming tea and fumbled through what to say. “I’m sorry. I’ve just…been worried. Wondering how we’re going to make it through this mess.”

He blew out a strained sigh. “The last thing I want is for you to worry about it, Eden. I’m going to figure it out. You just need to take care of your students, take care of you.”

I gazed across at him. “And who’s going to look out for you?”

He exhaled, devotion in the heavy sound. “You’re not supposed to take care of me, Eden. It’s the other way around.”

I reached out and touched his hand. “Aren’t we supposed to take care of each other? I told you I was going to help. That I’m trying to find solutions, too. You can’t ask me to ignore this.”

Sadness filled his expression. “You’ve already been through enough.”

My head shook as sorrow swam. “We both have, Daddy.”

My daddy swallowed, his throat bobbing as he gazed at me. “How’d we end up here? I never imagined it, Eden…the two of us alone.”

I could feel the loss of my momma radiating from him on a torrent of despair. Could feel his grief for me.

Losing Aaron had devastated me. Left a crater that throbbed.

But my daddy’s? My daddy’s was a chasm. An abyss. Bottomless and forever.

I’d thought mine was…

Guilt streaked. Clawing through my consciousness and cleaving through my spirit when a dark, destructive face flashed through my mind.

“I’m sorry that you lost Momma. That you lost Harmony after. Hate that you’re hurting so badly now.”

When Momma had died, Harmony had lost herself. I’d watched her tumble. Spiral. Lose hope.

The letter felt like ten-thousand pounds in my pocket. Sucking me down. Because I remembered before…before we’d lost it all.

“That’s what makes this so hard…fighting for the little we have left when I’d gladly trade it all for your sister if I were given the choice,” he admitted.

“Daddy.” It was a plea.

He squeezed my hand. “It’s true. I love those kids, I love the church, I love it all.” He gulped and his eyes swam with his truth. “But to have her back…I’d sacrifice anything for my family, Eden.”

Overwhelming love squeezed every cell in my body. This was exactly why I’d do anything for my father. Give it up. Sacrifice. Because of what he was willing to sacrifice for the rest of us. “I’m still digging into some things, Daddy. Trying to find a way to stave off the creditors.”

The shake of his head was grim. “I’m not sure we can support another loan, Eden.”

I swallowed down the confession, the way the words wanted to rise up and get free. “Just…give me a little time.”

“I need you not to worry, Eden. I’ll figure it out. Things always have a way of working themselves out. I have faith in that. That we’re not alone in the middle of it. I don’t want you to walk around with these burdens…I want you to live.”

“And I want that for you, too.”

His fingers threaded through mine. “The students are my joy, Eden. Our congregation. Helping those who walk through the doors. But the one thing I want? The one thing I pray I get to see before I die? That is to see you happy. Truly happy.” He reached up and brushed his thumb under my eye. “Without the sadness I see right here. One day, the one thing I want, is to see it go away. I want to see everything you’re missing fulfilled. Given to you a million times over.”

“Daddy.” Emotion warbled through the word.

Misery tried to seep out from that wound. To crawl out and stake a claim.

“Someday, your heart will break free.” He chuckled low, his words turning to a dreamy wisp. “It’ll get stolen, more like it. Some man is going to storm into your life when you least expect it, and he’s going to steal this amazing, beautiful heart. You might not think yourself capable, but you’ll love again.”

For the first time in years, I believed it. Believed I could love again.

And I wanted it in return.

To be loved.

Held.

I wanted a family to call my own.

But what I was terrified of was the storming part.

Terrified of the one who’d captured me in a way I shouldn’t allow him to.

I smothered the feeling, the need, the fear, and I forced a smile. “Don’t worry, Daddy. I will. We both will. Heck, I bet you’ll find someone before me.”

He fumbled out a laugh. “I don’t think so, sweetheart. I think I’d prefer to live in the memories.”

But sometimes it was the memories that hurt us most.