Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

19. Trent

NINETEEN

TRENT

I tried to kick the box of tequila out of the way where it was sitting on the floor behind the bar. Admittedly, with more force than necessary. But there was no way to control it. The way irritation swept through my bloodstream, reaching every cell, making me feel like I was coming unglued.

Glass clanked as the edge of the box caught on something, keeping it from sliding into the spot where I was trying to wedge it.

Like it was going to solve something, I kicked it harder with my boot.

It didn’t budge.

I kicked again.

Then I was kicking it over and over.

Until I was holding onto the barback and fuckin’ wailing away on the piece of shit, like I could beat this feeling out of my system.

Ruin something else instead of letting it ruin this bit of me.

“Whoa, there, bossman. What the fuck is going down with you? Those bottles of Milagros aren’t gonna make it better unless you pour them down your throat and not onto the floor. You catch my meaning?”

I was jolted from the anger by Sage’s teasing voice, and I kept holding onto the countertop, head cast down and panting for air, trying to find my sanity before I turned my aggression on him.

“Nothing is going down,” I grated. Straightening, I scrubbed a palm over my face to chase away this stupidity.

He scoffed. “You’ve been a surly motherfucker for the last week.”

“Maybe that’s because all this shit is lying around where it isn’t supposed to be. Get it cleaned up, yeah?” My teeth ground with the words, the frustration still getting out no matter how hard I tried to stop it.

Sage lifted his hands in surrender. “Hey now, delivery came in this afternoon and we were short staffed tonight, as you well know. Todd’s doin’ his best at getting it stocked before we lock up. Now how ’bout you let me pour you one while we get it cleaned up? Take the edge off? You know, before you go Godzilla on this shit.”

I swiped the back of my hand over my mouth. Dude had no fucking clue what a rampage really meant.

The rough chuckle hitting me from the side had me whipping my attention to the right.

Jud was standing there, fucker laughing under his breath like he thought this shit was funny.

He glanced at Sage with a jut of his bearded jaw.

“Why don’t you pour us both one?” he shouted over the din.

The bar wasn’t quite packed, but at just before closing, the vibe was still unruly and wild since the band playing tonight had nearly incited a riot with how rowdy they’d been.

“It’d be my pleasure. Wait. Let me correct that. It’d be for my safety,” he cracked, and he jumped back and out of the way when he saw my jaw clench, asshole laughing, too.

Fuckers.

I gave them both a finger.

Jud slipped into a barstool and patted the one next to him. “Sit down, Big Bro, before you go boom. Look like you’re about to explode, and we put too much effort into this place to let you burn it to the ground because you’re in a pissy mood.”

Pushing out a sigh, I rounded the end of the bar and slipped into the stool next to him. Sage was already passing us our drinks by the time I got there.

“On the house.” He winked.

Dude really wanted to get his ass kicked.

Jud laughed and tipped his glass to him. “Perks of ownership, my man.”

“Life goals.”

I wrapped my hand around the glass and brought it to my lips, prayed the burn would soothe.

Because my entire being itched. Fucked from the inside out.

Because this girl. This girl.

This girl I couldn’t get off my mind, no matter what I did.

The last week had been torture. Watching her walk through the doors of Absolution night after night and not being able to go to her. Touch her and hold her. Straight misery when I’d pull up to the curb to pick up my son, and she’d be there with his hand in hers. Two fitting like they’d been made to match.

Seamless.

With the glaring offense that was me ripping them apart.

Each night, I thought it might abate, but it’d come just as strong tonight when I’d caught sight of her coming in through the side door. When that sweet heart had thudded out ahead of her like a brush of those hands, touching me from across the space.

Her body right there, so close, but just out of reach.

Guessed it was another penalty. Another cost to pay.

And shit, it pissed me off.

It was a vicious cycle. One I’d hopped right on again tonight.

Spending the entire shift trying to ignore the pull. This draw that I couldn’t escape. It only grew stronger the more I tried to look away. To pretend like her presence didn’t affect me. Trying to respect the boundaries we’d tossed up like we should have done in the first place.

The only thing it’d accomplished was that energy would strike me like a lash every time she got within a mile of me, which considering we’d been stuck within the confines of the bar, I’d felt like I was getting my ass whipped the whole damned night.

Cut the fuck up and wholly slayed.

Could feel the force of Jud’s stare blazing into me from the side. “Wanna tell me what climbed up your ass and died? You’ve been a salty prick for a straight week.”

I scoffed out my annoyance as I took another sip. “Nothing.”

Jud rumbled a laugh, watching me as he took a gulp of his brew. “You are legit the worst liar, Trent. You might be hard as stone, but you wear it all right there on your sleeve. Rage. Anger. Love.”

He tapped my shoulder with his fist to punctuate each one.

It jostled me, dude always telling it exactly like it was. My head shook in affectionate annoyance. “You know nothing.”

“I know everything,” he mock-whispered as he leaned in and cracked a wise-ass grin. “And I’m bettin’ all this has to do with a certain hot as fuck server who keeps floating through here like some kinda daydream.”

A dream.

A sanctuary.

Heaven.

My teeth clamped down on my bottom lip. “She’s too much, Jud,” I admitted, staring ahead as I brought the tumbler to my lips. The scotch was warm on my tongue, a caress down my throat.

Could feel the questions coming off him in waves. “Too much?”

“More than I have. More than I can give.”

He scowled. “That’s bullshit, man. Why don’t you do all of us a favor and stop with the self-imposed misery.”

“Self-imposed?” It was anger. Hate for the past. For everything we’d been pushed into. The atrocities we’d witnessed as fucking little kids and convinced it was just the way. And the way was what it’d become.

“Just admit what it is, man. You’re fuckin’ scared that you care about someone other than yourself. Other than your son. Other than us.”

One reason.

“I promised Nathan.” The words slashed from my tongue. Pure bitterness and straight anguish. In this oath I would never forget.

Jud flinched and then leaned closer. “You know that’s not what he meant.”

“He gave up his life for it. I’m pretty sure he meant it.”

A big palm landed on my shoulder, and he squeezed tight. “Yeah, he meant for you to live. Not to fuckin’ hide away.”

“He did it for Gage.”

Grief clutched Jud’s face. “He did it because he was the best, Trent. Because he was nothing but good, sacrificing himself for the rest of us. Way he always did.”

Agony gripped me.

My twin.

My twin.

One who was so good.

One who was kind.

One who had no blood on his hands, yet he was the one who’d died.

My lips pressed into a thin line. “Those bullets were meant for me.”

Jud clamped down on my shoulder. “Yeah, because you were the one taking the risk to get the rest of us out of there.”

“And Nathan ended up dead because of it.”

Shots.

Screams.

Blood.

Pain poured its wrath into my soul.

Drowning.

Felt like my chest was gonna cave with the misery.

Jud’s voice shifted in desperation. “You’ve got to let it go, man. The guilt. This wasn’t what Nathan wanted. Hell, he’d be destroyed if he knew the way you’ve carried this.”

I whirled on Jud, words low and razor-sharp. “Destroyed? You’re right, Jud. He is. Destroyed. Gone. Because of me.”

My fist slammed down on the bar as I fought against the consequences of the choices I’d made.

All because I’d gone after a piece of forbidden ass.

A bid of retaliation that had ruined my brother and given me the greatest gift.

Gage.

One reason. One reason.

Frustration blew from Jud’s mouth, and he spun away, his elbows planted on the bar as he took a swig of his beer. Finally, he cut his eye my way, his tone softer than it’d been.

“Yeah. He is gone. Fuckin’ gone and it fuckin’ hurts. All of us hurt, Trent. All of us loved him like mad, and there’s a big fuckin’ hole in the middle of us where he used to be. But it isn’t your blame, brother. And until you give up that guilt, stop condemning yourself like you were the only one involved? That bastard won that piece of you. Stole it.”

He angled in closer, his voice his own animosity. “I bet he’s holding it like a parting prize where he’s floating at the bottom of the sea. You gonna let him keep it?”

Jud might as well have punched me in the rib cage.

Way the breath hurled from my lungs.

An assault of emotions that broke me open.

Fracturing and fraying.

Anguish and hate. Loss and this hope.

Fuck.

I fisted a hand in my hair.

Sage appeared in front of us and leaned on the bar. “Hey, it’s getting quiet, so I cut Eden loose. She’s been running the entire night and I know she was at her other job early this morning. Sure she’d appreciate some extra sleep tonight.”

Could barely nod and force out, “Good.”

Needed her out of my sight. Out of my thoughts. Out of my fucking heart.

Didn’t know how I’d let her get there in the first place.

Why this was tearing me up.

Couldn’t go there. Couldn’t. I knew better.

But it didn’t matter because I was already there when I felt the shift wrestle the atmosphere. The ripple of morbid interest. The rush of fear as a storm of shouts came from down the long hall that was off-limits to customers.

Still, a bunch of people rushed that way like they wanted to get a better look at what was going down.

I jumped to my feet. Jud was right beside me, dude casting me a worried look as we started to shove through the throng that was pushing and gawking.

I tossed them aside, desperation lighting in my blood, sinking deep into my bones as I fought to make it to the hall.

Eyes searching for a glimpse of Eden through the mayhem.

Heaven. Heaven.

I finally made it through the crush of bodies at the head of the hall just as Kult came barreling out, his eyes wide, the giant shaken.

“What’s going on?” I shouted over the clamor.

Rage burned through his expression, every muscle in his hulking body corded. Ready to strike.

He jerked his head backward. “Employee lot.”

“What is it?” I demanded, angling around the corner, glancing at him as I stalked down the long corridor at close to a jog.

“Some fucked up shit, boss.”

“Who?”

“Eden—” was all he got out before I broke into a sprint at her name. I flew the rest of the way down the hall and burst out the door that was already sitting partially open.

A stir of activity seethed on the far side.

My attention jumped through it, landing on Milo who was across the lot by Eden’s car.

Eden who was bent in two, gasping and sobbing, her head shaking as her body rocked with horror.

I faltered for the barest flash of a second before I was darting across the lot, nearly stumbling when the front portion of her car came into view a foot before I got to her.

The world crashed down around me.

Rage and disgust and heartache that pounded and tumbled.

Vomit pooled in my guts while fury spun through my mind.

Her windshield had been smashed in, and a slaughtered pig had been tossed onto the shattered glass. A broken pool stick had been driven through it, and blood had gushed down the hood and side of her car.

My eyes fucking blurred over, and my body rocked in revulsion.

Because written in the blood was a message.

A message for me.

Not even ghosts are immortal.