Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

11. Jud

ELEVEN

JUD

It was just after five-thirty when I felt the shift in the air. One where shivers went racing along my spine and my stomach thought it fit to tighten in a fist.

I swiveled around from where I was kneeling in front of the chopper I was working on to find Salem strutting out.

She wore that silky blouse, painted-on black pants, and those sky-high heels that were trampling all over my good sense.

Poking holes in the commitment that seemed to get hazier and hazier with each moment that passed.

It blurred over the edges since the sight of her caused every cell in my body to go haywire.

Short-circuiting.

My senses on overload because fuck…I wanted her.

Wanted to fist my hands in those tresses of black. Get lost in the turbulence of those blue eyes. Drown on that vixen mouth.

I wanted her in a way that wasn’t right. In a way that slanted dangerous. In a way that was at odds with every damned thing I’d been living for.

Remnants of earlier in the lobby still buzzed in my nerves.

The way I wouldn’t have thought twice about fighting for her when I’d gone for the blacked-out BMW parked on the opposite side of the street.

The way the demon inside had gone to thrashing and jerking and tearing at the chains in a bid to get free.

The way I’d wanted to hop on my bike and hunt the motherfucker down when the pussy had jumped from the curb and fled.

Truth was, everything about whoever had been sitting out there was sketch as fuck.

Knew it in a moment.

In a heartbeat.

The instinct that had kept me alive for all those years when I’d been living in the dregs of society.

I’d been set on ripping the asshole from the car and demanding to know what he was doing creeping around my lot.

The problem was, that rage hadn’t dissipated when the threat had gone, it’d only shifted.

Changed.

Taken new shape.

It had grown into a beast that wanted to fight for her all the harder when I’d come back in and found this fierce, ferocious girl pale and shaking, like she’d come face-to-face with a ghost she couldn’t outrun.

I’d only meant to comfort her.

Promise her it would be fine.

Then I’d touched her, and all bets were off.

This girl who with one kiss had knocked me senseless.

“Hey there, darlin’,” I called.

She normally strode in here all kinds of confident, but this time, those eyes darted around, landing on every single thing except for me.

Finally, she exhaled the strain and lifted that chin as she sauntered my way. “Are you ready?”

A grin cracked my face as I pushed to standing and tossed the wrench to the worktable. “You in a rush?”

Suggestion rode out with the words, no holding it back.

Not when just her walking into my shop knocked the breath right out of my lungs.

Her tone turned almost defiant. “I am, actually.”

I hooked my hip on the table and crossed my arms over my chest. “Yeah, and why’s that?”

She heaved out a breath and shook her head. She looked around again, not answering my question but giving me one of her own. “Where’s Darius?”

“Cut both him and Brock loose early. Figured they deserved an early night to unwind considering the hours they’ve been putting in this week.”

Salem quirked a brow. “And Darius didn’t argue?”

“Told him to go on. That I had you.” I shrugged. “And I’m the boss.”

Amusement played at that pretty face, and she crept nearer, like she was testing out just how deep she could get before she went under.

Before that lure would be too intense.

But it was already there.

Baiting and tugging and pulling.

Drawing us closer.

Gravity.

“Wow, you really like using that to your advantage, don’t you?” A tease wound its way into her voice.

Fighting a smirk, I shrugged again. “Only when I really have to.”

“And this was one of those instances?”

Salem’s heels clicked on the hard floor. Each one sent a reverberation across the ground that vibrated my boots and climbed my legs.

Girl invading.

Sweet, sweet enchantress casting her spell.

Wrapping me around those fingers that I’d really like wrapped around my dick.

I edged her way, loving how her breaths went shallow when I moved to stand over her.

Woman this tiny, curvy thing with a big-ass presence that overflowed the room.

Thunderbolt eyes struck in the middle of it.

Motherfucking thunder.

Deep and dark and seductive.

Her plush lips parted like she was getting lost in the memory of that kiss, too.

Yeah, that wasn’t helping things, either.

My fingers twitched, urging me to reach out and take what I was itching to make mine.

Then she seemed to think better of it, and she took a step back. She toyed with the end of a lock of her hair, looking away for a beat as she pondered what to say. “Listen, Jud?—”

“Let’s get out of here.”

Salem’s attention whipped back to me, a solemn line denting her brow. “I think we should talk.”

Yeah, and I knew what that talk was going to be. Could feel her reservations flying.

Spiky barbs of rejection.

I leaned in close, scent of the girl infiltrating my nose.

Toasted coconut and sultry sin.

I swept my fingertips along the length of her chin. “How about we get you on the back of my bike, instead? Right where you belong.”

Shock edged her back an inch.

Yeah, sweetheart, you keep shocking the shit out of me, too.

The way I couldn’t control my reaction.

The need that made me think I just might be losing my mind.

One second later, a playful scowl scrunched her forehead as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You want me on your bike? That’s what this was all about?”

All?

Not even close.

But it was a damned good start.

The truth was, I didn’t want to let her out of my sight.

Still, I played along, kept the words light. “Might be the only way I get those legs wrapped around me.”

She bit down on her bottom lip, though a slight giggle rippled free. “You’re unbelievable. Some savior you are.”

A grin took hold. “Have you looked in a mirror, gorgeous? You can’t blame a man.”

She glared at me, but there was laughter in her expression, and some of the edge I’d been fighting the entire day drained away.

“Fine. Since you already sent my ride home, I guess I don’t have any better options, do I?” she goaded as she turned and strutted to where my bike was parked in my personal bay.

Her hips and ass swaying across the shop.

Damn.

“You really, really can’t blame a man,” I mumbled under my breath. I grabbed my phone from the table and followed her. “Front locked up?”

“Yes, everything is ready.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

“It’s my job,” she tossed back.

I moved to press the button for the garage.

Warm, evening light tumbled in.

Bright, golden rays that lit up the girl and my bike.

My fingers itched with the urge to paint. To create something beautiful. Hope in the rubble.

I grabbed a helmet, situated it on her head, my fingers quick as I fastened the strap.

Whole time, my attention was trapped on that face, not a chance I could look away.

Not when I swung my leg over my bike, hit the starter, and stretched out my hand.

In a beat of contemplation, she dropped her gaze before she accepted it.

It damned near sent me spiraling again.

The way something that was a cross of desire and devotion went zapping through my veins.

The way I wanted to wrap her up and never let her go.

I fought that thought.

Knew it was stupid.

That my heart was pushing against a line that couldn’t be uncrossed.

What I needed to focus on was the task of getting her home.

To escort her across this small mountain city, drop her at her door, and ensure she was safe.

Leave it at that.

Except Salem wrapped her arms around my waist and exhaled at the sensitive flesh on my neck. Right about the time she was pressing those ample tits that I was dying to get my hands on again against my back.

Need crashed.

Lust spiraled.

I forced myself to ease out of the garage bay. I closed it behind us before I carefully took to the road and headed in the direction of her house.

Rays of sunlight danced and drizzled over the soaring trees that hugged the road like a hedge of protection. They sent glittering orbs slanting through the branches and dappling through the leaves.

The road was lit up in golden glitter.

My body lit up, too.

Salem kept tightening her hold.

Her heart thundered at my back, a drumbeat of confusion that pounded through her spirit.

Want.

Fear.

This uttering of hope that pulsed through her being and whispered in my ear.

I should ignore it.

Hell, I never should have even pushed for this, but I was the fool who was taking a left when I should have been taking a right.

I could feel her perplexity, the disquiet in the flinch of her arms, but before either of us could think better of it, I’d taken two more turns that led just out of town.

Slowing, I eased onto the familiar, earthy path that cut through a row of towering trees.

I came to a stop in the middle of the secluded meadow.

Its bed was covered in wild grasses and flowers. Purples and whites and pinks. The floor a bright, misty green. The scene was cast in an entrancing glow as those shimmery rays of receding light burned through the space.

I cut the engine. The only sound was our battering hearts and the babbling of the creek that flowed through.

“What is this place?” Salem whispered. Awe in her voice. Then it was twisting again. “What are we doing here?”

“I come here sometimes when I need to clear my head.” The admission rumbled out on the peaceful quiet. It was the truth, though I doubted much coming here was going to rid this girl from my thoughts.

With my boots planted on either side to keep us balanced, I glanced back at her. “You said we should talk, so let’s talk.”

Unsure, Salem blinked. “Jud, I?—”

She yelped when I suddenly turned and took her by the waist. I pulled her around onto my lap so her legs were wrapped around me.

You know, all friendly like.

Just couldn’t fuckin’ help myself.

Surprised pants jutted from her mouth, and those eyes were doing wicked things as I unfastened her helmet and let it drop to the ground. Her hands curled into my shoulders. “Jud. What the hell?”

A grin quirked my mouth. “Sorry.”

She rolled her eyes. “You are clearly not sorry at all.”

She wiggled on my lap like she was gonna get free.

My dick stirred.

Salem bit down on her bottom lip and stilled and fuck…I wanted to kiss her all over again.

“I told you I needed to go home.”

There was some kind of pain lacing those whispered words, and a war went down inside me as I stared at her stunning face. I took her chin between my thumb and forefinger. “I know it, and we will, but I need to know one thing, Salem. Need to know if you’re in trouble? If you’re safe?”

I already was sure of the answer, but I needed her to confide it in me.

A million things played through her expression.

Fear.

Dread.

Grief.

Then she pasted on a sexy smile. A valiant attempt at a distraction. “I’m just fine.”

My brow dented. “Wish you wouldn’t lie to me, darlin’.”

Her smile slipped, and she shifted her attention out over the beauty of the meadow.

Locks of thick, black hair whipped around her face.

My chest tightened, and I forced myself to keep my hands at her waist, my thumbs barely caressing her stomach, like I could coax her into giving me her truth.

Wishing she’d understand that she didn’t have to be alone.

She peeked back at me. “And I already told you not to ask that of me.”

She blinked through the emotion that writhed, lashes of her spirit flailing in the air.

She inhaled, then seemed to steel herself for whatever she was about to say. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Jud. Since the second I met you, you’ve been nothing but kind. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up during that storm. But my life?”

For a moment, she slowed, gathering herself before her head barely shook and the pained words burned free. “It’s been a mess for a long time. More than a mess. It’s basic survival, and I’m barely holding it together.”

Torment swirled in the abyss of her eyes.

“Then let me hold some of it for you.”

“Jud…” It was a breath.

“Not sure I can turn a blind eye to whatever is goin’ on with you, Salem. Besides, that’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” With that, I let a grin spread to my mouth.

Salem wiggled again. “Friends, huh?”

I choked as she rubbed herself on my cock, then on a surprised chuckle, I was letting my arms curl around her so I could wrap her up in a hug.

I pressed my lips close to her ear. “Not gonna lie, Salem. Want to fuck you. Peel these clothes from this hot little body and lay you down in this meadow. Show you how insane you’ve been making me. Show you how beautiful you are. Show you how fuckin’ bad I want you. Make you come again and again.”

Shivers wracked her body, and her nails sank deeper into my shoulders. “Jud.”

“But I’m not sure that’s what you need right now,” I continued.

Peeling herself back, Salem met my eye. “You’re right, Jud. But the problem is, I don’t know what that is. What I need or what I want or if I can hope for it once I figure it out. I don’t even know if I’m staying or how long I’m going to be here.”

My guts revolted at that.

I forced down the riot of possession, the part of me that wanted to demand that she stay. I reached out and set my palm on her cheek.

“All I’m saying is I think I should be a part of whatever that is for however long I can be. I’m right here, darlin’. All of us need someone on our side. Someone to lean on when times get tough.”

Her brow quirked. “As friends?”

I bucked my hips just a bit. “Is that all you’re gonna let me be?”

There I went.

Pushing.

Crossing those lines that kept getting blurred.

But I wasn’t sure there was a thing either of us could do to stop this attraction.

A tiny whimper left those gorgeous lips, and this fierce girl dipped her eyes again like she didn’t know what to say. Finally, she looked back at me, a mystery in her gaze. “You make me feel something I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before, Jud, and honestly, that terrifies me. That you make me feel something I can’t have.”

Rage burned.

A boil in my blood.

I wanted to hunt down whoever had put this look on her face and show them what it was like to really be afraid.

Draw it out.

Make it hurt.

Do what I’d promised myself I’d never do again.

Maybe that was the most dangerous part of all.

“Seems you make me feel something I haven’t in a long time, either, darlin’, and that scares me, too.”

Light laughter left her, and she looked at me with this expression that cut me in two.

With hope and hopelessness.

With faith and despair.

“We’re a mess, aren’t we?”

My fingers threaded through the hair at the side of her head, thumb tracing the angle of her jaw. “Yeah, gorgeous. A beautiful fuckin’ mess.”

For a minute, we sat there smiling at each other like cheesy saps. Like we were meeting in some place that neither of us knew existed.

“I really should go,” she finally whispered.

“Okay, darlin’.”

She hesitated, then asked, “I can trust you, right?”

My chest squeezed tight.

How did I answer that when I didn’t trust myself?

Still, I rumbled, “Of course.”

“Then there’s something you should know about me, Jud. If we’re going to be friends.”

I kept brushing my fingers through her hair. “Yeah? What’s that, gorgeous?”

“I have a child.” Salem’s blue eyes deepened with sincerity. “She’s my world. My entire world.”

I didn’t mean to flinch, but fuck, I did.

A knife driven right into my soul.

I tried to hide it. The impact of what she’d admitted. Of what she was trying to trust me with. I was getting the sense she didn’t show that card often, and that was unsettling, too.

But she felt it. Felt it different than I meant it.

She took the gutting pain for rejection.

Rigid defiance took over her demeanor, and that hypnotic gaze grew sharp and hard, the wildcat showing its claws.

Her love for her kid stark and gutting.

And I was getting it then, the vehemence that lined her bones.

Respected the fuck out of it.

Still, every single thing I wanted to say got locked in my throat when she slipped off my lap.

Every confession.

Every reason.

The purpose that screamed and clawed and made me feel like I was coming out of my skin.

After I sat there like a mute for God knew how long, Salem shook her head in disappointment, snatched the helmet from the ground, put it on, then climbed on behind me.

She curled her arms around me, though they were rigid. Like a canyon had broken open between us and a sea had risen up through the middle of it to push us farther apart.

Heart in my throat, I pushed the button for the ignition and the heavy engine rumbled to life. I turned it around in the meadow and slowly rode back through the trees and onto the road.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like kids.

I fuckin’ loved kids.

My guts clenched. My spirit moaned.

That was the problem, wasn’t it?

Could feel the bitter venom fill my mouth as we rode, as I took the turns just as carefully as we’d come, but somehow the glittering rays streaking through the branches on the trees and onto the road felt different.

A light going dim.

I fought it.

The agony that wanted to lift.

To take hold.

Suck me under.

Where I’d drown in that darkness that would forever possess.

When I made the last turn into Salem’s neighborhood, I pinned a fucking smile on my face so I could give it to her when I dropped her off.

Let her know I wasn’t a total dick.

I pulled up in front of their house.

My guts were in turmoil, torn between wanting to turn around, take her into my arms, tell her it was awesome—that kids gave a whole new meaning for breathing—that I’d protect that too if she’d let me—all while wanting to run.

Fuck.

I was getting in too deep.

Too deep.

I managed to kick the stand and cut the engine, and I helped Salem to stand. She kept watching me warily as I climbed off, too, as I took two steps up her walkway, following her, searching for a way to apologize.

To give her something when I knew full well there was no chance of a sound making it up my throat.

Not when the front screen door of their house banged open.

The air punched from my lungs.

A kick to the stomach.

I stumbled back.

A little girl about five came blazing out.

All grins and smiles and pitch-black hair worn in pigtails.

I stumbled like an oaf.

A fuckin’ meathead without words.

“Mommy! You made it back from doing all the works and oh my gosh you rodes on a motorcycle?”

Her little voice was a screech of excitement. A squeal of joy.

Salem breathed out, love pouring free, though I could still see her reservations when she tossed a confused glance at me before she turned back to her daughter. Her voice twisted in faked enthusiasm. “I sure did!”

The little thing kept running until she threw herself into Salem’s arms. Salem swept her up and hugged her close.

Nausea clawed at my insides.

Thought I was going to puke right there.

“Did it go so fasts? Like a thousand miles in one hour? I bet you could rides it so fast we could make it all the way to China by the time we gets to eat dinner. What do you think?”

The child grinned at me when she asked it.

The most brittle smile took to my mouth. “That’s awful far.”

“That’s what the adventures are for. You gotta go all over to the places that you’ve never beens before so you can experience new things even if you don’t wanna go at first. That’s what me and my mommy do.”

I scraped a hand over the top of my head, that smile faltering. Part of me wanted to ask more. Wanted details. Wanted to know.

To invade.

To step forward and succumb to this.

This pull.

This lure.

This want that made me consider saying fuck it all.

Loyalty shorn in the glance of a woman in the storm.

Black-fuckin’-magic.

The other part knew I had to resist. Had to end this right then.

To remember.

I looked back at my bike, contemplating my escape.

Only my attention snagged on the car that was coming to a stop on the opposite side of the road.

Tessa, Eden’s best friend, hopped out, all smiling and eager.

Awesome.

Liked her, but the girl was a handful, and I sure as shit couldn’t deal with her right then.

Not when I could see the hurt splitting Salem’s expression.

Her single treasure held in her arms that I was rejecting.

“I’m gonna go.” My words were bricks that toppled to the ground.

Energy whipped. A tempest.

Screaming in the air like Salem’s spirit was physically clawing its way to me, hooking in and refusing to let go.

Or maybe the real problem was that it was mine.

This piece that had already toppled out and landed at her feet that wanted to beg for whatever she would give me.

Salem lifted that defiant, scarred chin, brandishing a look that promised she’d been to Hell and was prepared to fight with her last breath to claw the rest of the way out.

Ferocity surrounded her, and she bit the words from her tongue. “Yeah, I think you should.”