Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

14. Salem

FOURTEEN

SALEM

I froze in the double doorway that led into the private party room.

I should have known better than coming here. I’d rethought it at least fifteen times as I’d gotten ready. I’d finally decided to forget the whole thing since stepping out this way was clearly a horrible idea.

Then I’d received a text from Tessa.

An SOS asking if I could do her a favor and pick up some black ribbon on my way so she could focus on getting set up.

No doubt, that was exactly what this was.

A set up.

Because Tessa shifted to look at me from over her shoulder.

In an instant, I saw the smirk curve her mouth as her attention darted between me and the man who stood stock-still by the table.

A torrent of energy sucked the oxygen from the room and overflowed it with his presence.

Jud stood by the table, blinking like he thought I was a hallucination.

His jaw clenched tight though something soft filtered through his expression. Something that threatened to make my knees go weak.

Curling my hands protectively on Juni’s shoulders, I lifted my chin.

I wanted to refuse any of his attention because he clearly didn’t deserve any of ours.

He’d made me feel safe. Protected.

But the second I’d opened up a fraction, gave him just a little, he’d crushed it under his feet.

I deserved better—Juni deserved better—and maybe being here in Redemption Hills had helped me realize it was okay to dream of something better.

But I was the fool who’d let my mind think that better might be Jud Lawson.

Gage and Juni jumped around at my feet, hugging each other as if they hadn’t seen each other in years when it had just been yesterday morning.

“Come on, you gotta see the cupcakes!” Gage threaded his fingers through Juni’s, and the two of them scampered across the room.

The second Juni was gone, I felt exposed, standing there fidgeting like the outsider I was.

While Jud stared.

Heat blazed and severity throbbed.

I swallowed against the impact of it and forced myself to smile when Tessa moved my way. “Oh, thank god, you’re here! I have no idea what I would have done without that ribbon. My cupcake display is a disaster.”

My eyes narrowed as delight whipped through her features. I handed her the bag with the black fabric ribbon. By the looks of the decorations, she was doing just fine.

“It’s the least I could do.” Sarcasm wound into my voice.

Feigned innocence lined her expression. “Um, I have no idea what you’re implying. You straight-up saved this party. Could you imagine Eden walking in here and there was no matching ribbon on the dessert display?”

“The tragedy.”

Laughing, she wrapped me in a massive hug.

“Seriously, I am so happy you’re here, and you can so be mad at me, but I could tell you were thinking about not coming, and we really can’t have that happen. We’re best friends now, remember?”

My spirit danced and emotion climbed into my throat. Squeezing my eyes closed, I hugged her back.

But I couldn’t escape the heat of the man.

My eyes peeled open to find his gaze slaying me through.

I really hated how good he looked wearing fitted, dark gray dress pants and a light gray button-down, sleeves rolled up his forearms to expose the ink on his flesh.

I hated more how my stomach dipped. The way my thoughts went streaking back to the feel of his hands and mouth on me.

My thighs trembled.

I tore my attention from him when Tessa peeled herself back, and she held onto my upper arms the same way as she’d done when I’d met her. Her gaze swept over me. “Damn girl.”

I reached out and held her the same. “Ha…have you seen you?”

Tessa was wearing this shiny electric blue dress—the same color as her eyes. It was a halter-top, fitted and ruched, and dipped low between her breasts. Her red hair was pressed into giant curls that bounced over her bare shoulders.

She shimmied and winked. “Not too bad for the class nerd, huh?”

“Not bad at all.”

“Okay, I need to finish setting up. The rest of the guests should start arriving soon, and Eden and Trent should be here in fifteen.”

“What can I do?”

“Can you take a peek at the buffet and make sure it looks like they’ve put out everything we need?”

“Sure thing.”

I moved over to the long row of tables where the food was being set out. Chills skated down my spine because with each step, I could feel those eyes hooked on me.

Conflicting and confusing.

I had the urge to peek back. I stopped myself before I slipped into that recklessness.

Jud had already shown his hand, hadn’t he? His knee-jerk reaction had been clear enough. I needed to remember it.

But he never let me go of that connection.

A force came to tower over me from behind. It stole my breath and sent a rash of shivers racing across my flesh.

Citrus and cinnamon and spice.

A warm fall night.

I forced myself to remain turned away because I wasn’t sure I could handle him face-to-face.

“You’re here,” that deep voice rumbled.

I guarded myself against the pull of it, putting up every defense I possessed.

“I was invited.” It came out snippy.

Jud had the audacity to reach out and grip the two outside fingers of my right hand.

Heat zinged up my arm.

“I’m not saying I’m complaining.”

That resolve cracked, but it was fire that came out through the fracture. I whirled on him, and my voice dropped to a hiss. “I don’t think you have the right to say anything, Jud, so why don’t we leave it at that?”

Every rugged, handsome line on his face twisted, and those black eyes flashed.

Flames and seduction.

“Think we need to talk about that.”

A scoff shot from my tongue, and I crossed my arms over my chest to put some space between us. “I tried to talk to you, Jud, to open up, and the second I did, you reminded me of why I can’t. So, like I said, let’s leave it at that.”

Searching for a safer place for my attention, I turned to look to the far side of the room where Gage and Juni were on the floor, sifting through the stash of toys Gage had brought in his backpack.

Giggles rippled from her, her joy so easy and right.

Emotion welled at the base of my throat.

Jud’s attention drifted there, too, and there was no missing the way his hands curled into fists and every muscle in his being tightened.

Was he serious?

I swallowed around the disbelief, around the anger, around what I’d thought had been genuine care that he’d shown me in his office Wednesday when the panic had nearly consumed me.

When he’d promised he would be there.

W hen he’d kissed me .

Giggles fell from Juni’s mouth, and I shivered with the hope they elicited.

It’s what I wanted most—to give my daughter a normal life.

A good life.

One filled with happiness and safety and friends.

A home .

Jud’s jaw clenched, but there was something beneath it that looked like— sorrow .

I blinked against it, against the care that wanted to press free of my ribs, against the urge I had to reach out and hold a part of that sorrow for him.

A bunch of new guests piled in, and Tessa’s voice lifted over the disorder. “Trent texted, and he and Eden just parked. Get ready, it’s party time people.”

Juni popped up from her perch on the floor and came bounding my way. I reached out to take her hand.

“It’s party time, Mommy!” Then her smile grew. “Look it, Mommy, it’s your motorcycle friend. Did you go so fasts all the way to China?” she asked Jud when she took my hand.

I wanted to wrap her up. Cover her and protect her from the pain of rejection.

Only a rough chuckle slipped from Jud’s mouth, and his expression went soft as he looked down at her.

My ribs clamped around my aching heart, and I swore, in an instant, my entire being went to war.

A battle of intention.

One side that urged me to grab Juni and run, leave this place because I never should have put either of us in this position, and the other that begged for surrender. For a place to belong.

“Yeah, I had to go fast.” Regret filled his voice as he returned his attention to me. “But I came back.”

My throat tingled, and my skin felt sticky, and I tightened my hold on my daughter.

Before this could get any harder, I whispered, “Excuse me.”

I wound around him and led Juni away.

Away from the connection I could feel pulling taut behind me.

A lure I knew better than to heed.

The pull that was making me question my sanity.

Juni pranced along beside me, so adorable in her princess dress. “We are gonna haves the bestest time, Mommy.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep! Did you smells the food? And there are so many kinds, and my belly is rumbling and I’m gonna eat it all gone so I can have a cupcake because Gage said they’re super extra special all the way to the sky.”

She hopped three times when she said that, yanking me to a stop.

Um wow.

Someone was excited.

Realization settled over me.

What tonight meant to my daughter.

Juniper had never experienced anything like this.

Our celebrations had always been just the two of us. Our adventures ours, even when neither of us had wanted to take them.

Reliant on the other.

Apprehension mixed with the hope. With these building dreams that I tried not to allow to terrify me.

Juni squeezed my hand like she felt my reservations. A calm slipped through my blood.

“Wow. Those must be some cupcakes,” I finally managed to say.

“I think they gots diamonds in the frosting.” Juni whispered it, even though she dipped her chin in an emphatic nod.

“Diamonds?” I gasped our secret.

“Um…did you see the sparkles? They gots to be.”

Amusement tugged at my mouth. “It sounds like we’d better get to our spots so we can have the best party ever.”

I led Juni over to the table where the rest of the guests gathered.

A silent groan clamored in my chest when I saw Jud was seated directly across from me.

I glanced to the left at Tessa who tried to hide her smile as she started passing out hand-painted signs that had different sayings of congratulations on them.

Definitely a set up.

I peeked back at Jud.

Without shame, those darkened eyes raked over me. Hot coals that flashed with greed and something else I’d be a fool to diagnose.

Because that tension pulled and yanked and tumbled through my rattled spirit.

It felt as if it called out to the broken pieces. The pieces that had come to life under his touch—under his care—pieces I refused to let him shatter.

Dinner was amazing.

The table was full of Eden and Trent’s friends and family who were there to share their joy.

Eden had been shocked, tears springing to her eyes when she’d come in to her surprise.

Her new fiancé continually pressed kisses to her cheek, her temple, her knuckles, her mouth.

Love poured from them.

I was thankful to be a part of it, but I couldn’t stop the waves of unease that kept rustling through.

I didn’t do this.

I hid.

I lurked and concealed.

I existed along the fringes.

I didn’t step out to become a part of something big and beautiful this way, but I was having a harder and harder time pretending like I didn’t want to be there.

Eden’s father, Gary, sat to the right of me, the man so warm and genuine as he’d chatted with me throughout the meal and made me feel as if my daughter and I were a part of this tightly knit crowd.

The entire time, Jud kept peering at me from over the table. Watching me as if I mattered. As if something inside him had shifted and taken new shape during the two hours that had passed.

When I looked up and he pinned me with the severity of that gaze again, I set my napkin next to my empty plate, pushed my chair back, and stood. “Excuse me for a moment.”

Gary looked up at me in worry. “Everything okay?”

I sent him a feigned smile. “I just need to get another drink.”

He grinned and winked toward Juni. “I’ll hold the fort down while you’re away.”

Gratefulness spread through my veins, and I gave him a little nod as I moved to the bar set up on the far side of the room. I ordered another glass of champagne. I was going to need it to make it through the night.

Because I felt myself getting closer to an invisible barrier my heart kept trying to break through.

I accepted the flute then jumped when I felt the hand on my elbow. I whipped around to Eden who stood there wearing one of her soft smiles.

“Eden. Hi.”

“Hey, Salem. I had to sneak over here so I could tell you how happy I am that you’re here. That you and Juni came to share this night with us.”

An unsure breath crept free. “I wasn’t sure we should come.”

Her smile deepened. “I hope there’s no question now…that you belong here.”

My chest pressed full, and I thought to deny it, to act as if this little family across the street hadn’t already marked themselves on my heart, but the confession bled out. “And you have no idea what that means to me.”

“I think I might.”

Tears burned in my eyes, and I stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. “I realize I don’t know you that well, but I do know you and Trent belong together, and I’m so grateful to get to witness it.”

“I still can’t believe it. I feel like I’m floating. I feel like the luckiest woman alive,” she admitted when I stepped back.

“I think you might be.”

She gazed at me with the gentle smile she always wore, though her attention kept peeking over my shoulder to the force I suddenly felt pressing in from behind.

Commanding and potent.

She squeezed my hand again, and her voice dropped to a whisper. “I think sometimes we stumble upon it when we least expect it.”

She angled her head toward Jud and moved his way, and I swiveled just in time to see the emotion crest on Jud’s face. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and he curled his arms around her shoulders, holding her head against his chest.

I was sure it was meant only for her, but I could hear him mumble the words, “Thank you for seeing him for who he is and not what he’s done.”

She mumbled into his chest, “I couldn’t have seen anything else.”

Energy pulsed through the air. I tried to look away, tried to remind myself it was none of my business, that Jud and Eden were sharing a private moment, but I felt like I was snared.

Held as he looked at me in remorse from over her shoulder. I fumbled back, only I bumped into another body. I whirled around and another set of big hands shot out to catch me.

“Logan. Hi.”

I’d quickly been introduced by Tessa to the third Lawson brother before the party had started. He was as handsome as his two brothers, but different, as if he held all his intimidation in the lines of his arrogance.

He smiled down at me with these sparking emerald eyes, a tease and something wicked in their depths. “We didn’t get a chance to talk, so I thought I’d come over here and remedy that.”

Jud suddenly was at his side, smacking Logan on the back of the head.

Logan rubbed at the spot, laughing and glaring at Jud. “What the hell, man? Why always so violent?”

Jud grunted, staring his brother down while somehow glancing at me. “Don’t.”

Logan’s brow lifted, and there was a grin playing around his mouth as he looked between Jud and me.

“Don’t…what?” A tease was woven into the words, a ribbing that made the muscles in Jud’s arm bulge.

“Just…don’t.” Jud’s words were hard, and that lump in my throat grew tighter.

Because Jud kept looking at me in a way he shouldn’t.

Possessively.

Indulgently.

Intensity lapped.

Lifting and burning and wrapping me into this confusion that I couldn’t afford to feel.

“Ahh.” Logan smirked. “I see how it is.”

“Not in the mood, Logan.” The rough warning scraped from Jud’s mouth.

“Well then,” Logan said.

Jud grunted again, though he tipped his chin at Logan.

The two of them shared a silent conversation.

I shifted on my feet when they both looked at me.

“It was nice to meet you, Salem,” Logan said as he backed away, amusement playing across his features as he did.

“You, too.” I forced the strangled words from my throat, then I turned and darted for the hall so I could escape.

I needed a breath. To clear my head. To rid myself of the mayhem the man incited.

Only it grew as his heavy footfalls echoed behind me.

Out in the desolate hall, I whipped around and lifted my chin. “I don’t know what it is you want from me.”

Jud stepped forward and backed me against the wall. My heart ravaged in my chest. I should be afraid, and I knew I had a problem when it had the opposite effect. When I wanted to sink forward and press my nose to his shirt.

“I’m sorry.” His words were sharp.

I forced myself to remember his reaction from Wednesday night. “It doesn’t matter, Jud. Just forget it.”

“Maybe I don’t want to forget it.”

“Why?” I challenged.

Those eyes glinted beneath the hazy lights that hung from above. “Because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

“You can’t hurt me.” The defense was out before I could stop it, even though it was a lie.

From the banquet room, I could hear the clinking of a wine glass before Eden’s voice echoed down the hall.

“I want to thank you all so much for being here to share in one of the most important days of my life. I can’t express what it means to see you here. I love you all. Every single one of you.”

A round of cheers went up before the clattering stopped again.

“Since everyone we love is here, we have something else we’d like to share with you,” I heard her say.

“Jud, you should be in there. With your family.” I needed him to walk away. To leave me there like he had Wednesday night.

Only he inclined closer instead, his breath caressing my face, his hand coming up to touch my jaw in that way that slipped like comfort through my veins. Fire streaked through the connection. “Yet, here I am, with you.”

“We’re having a baby.” Emotion wobbled through Eden’s distant voice.

Surprise and excitement banged through the space.

Jud’s eyes went wide, and I was taking his moment of stupor to duck out from around him because all of this was too much. “We should go back in.”

I rushed for the doors like the man wasn’t single-handedly wrecking every boundary.

I felt him behind me, meeting me step for step.

Longing slipped from his fingers as he brushed the small of my back as he passed by and edged around the table.

Shivers raced.

What did he want with me? He’d already shown he didn’t want anything to do with Juni. My one purpose, and that was never going to change.

Gage jumped to his feet on his chair, shouting around the cupcake he had shoved in his mouth. “I get a new baby and a new mommy?”

“You do,” Eden whispered. Adoration poured from her being. Wave upon wave.

I stumbled back to my chair and dropped to the seat. Juni was on her knees. She jerked at my shirt. “Mommy! Gage gets a news baby!”

I chose to focus on the devotion that poured through the room and not the man who was stealing the air from it. “That’s wonderful.”

Trent scooped up Gage when he scrambled off his chair and went running to them. “It’s the best day of my whole life.”

“Mine, too, Gage, mine, too, and every single day that I get to spend with you.” Eden choked over the words.

A band of devotion wrapped the three of them tight.

Oohs and awws filled the room.

It was beautiful.

Real.

I touched Juni’s cheek, and she smiled over at me. “I likes it here, Mommy.”

“I know, Juni Bee. I know. I like it here, too.” Probably too much.

Gage clamored down and went racing for his uncle Jud who had stood and hugged Trent tight, clapped him on his back and uttered something low.

Trent squeezed his shoulder.

Their loyalty fierce and true. There was no mistaking it.

I struggled to breathe.

Jud glanced at me once before he hoisted Gage into his arms. Joy and pain split through his expression.

It pierced me in the chest, and I tried to look away, but my eyes couldn’t help but see deeper. To the sorrow, to the grief, to the torment written underneath.

Don’t do this, Salem.

Don’t fall. Don’t fall.

Tenderness took over his ferocity when he tossed Gage onto his back. Gage laced his arms around his thick neck and shouted, “I’ll take you down, Uncle!”

“Not a chance, Gage in the Cage.” He wrestled around with him.

Before I could stop her, Juni hopped onto her feet and blazed around the table.

“I’ll help you, Gage!”

She threw herself at Jud, too.

My heart sank to the pit of my stomach.

But he caught her and tossed her onto his opposite shoulder.

They shrieked and held on tight as Jud playfully roared and spun them. He had both hands on their backs to keep them steady. To ensure they wouldn’t fall.

Dread thudded through my veins, taking this stupid hope with it.

“Hurry, Juni Bee, we gotta get him. Chokehold!” Gage shouted.

Juni laughed and wrapped her arms around Jud’s neck, too, and Jud dramatically fell to his knees, careful as they all toppled in a pile onto the ground.

They flailed around, pinning him.

“Victory!” Juni shouted.

My chest clutched and my head swam.

Torn between the urge to rush for my daughter and steal her away from this place.

Where it wasn’t safe.

Where we were treading into unknown territory.

Into territory where our hearts were at stake.

All while every cell in my body clutched in a swell of longing.

I jumped when a warm hand covered mine where I had a death grip on the arm of my chair. I looked to the right to find the sympathy written in Gary’s gaze.

“Sometimes the scariest journeys are the ones where the lost finally find the right path to lead them home.”

My brow curled, and my head shook.

He squeezed my hand tighter. “It’s okay to be afraid. The courageous always are. They just understand taking the chance is worth the fear and the risk.”

Emotion locked in my throat, my spirit a disorder, and I was jerking again when Juni and Gage were suddenly jumping at my side. “Guess whats, Mommy? Gage just asked me if I wanna have a sleeps over at his house, and his mommy said YES! Oh please, oh please, oh please.”

Juni weaved her fingers together in a prayer.

“Please, Miss Salem! We’re gonna take really good care of her and I got a fort and we can even sleep in it.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Juni.”

“Please, Mommy, I’ll be soes good, and I never even had a friend before.”

My heart seized in a bolt of sorrow, and the word was wheezing out before I gave it permission. “Okay.”

What was I saying? What was I thinking? Giving my trust to people I didn’t really know?

But my soul?

It promised they were good.

And I knew we had to take a chance if we were ever going to hope for a normal life.

“Yay!” Juni and Gage shouted it at the same time.

Eden edged up behind them with that knowing smile on her face. She set a hand on each of their shoulders. “We’d love to have her. Gage has been asking for a sleepover since the moment he met her.”

My mind raced to find an excuse. Why this was a horrible, horrible idea. “Are you sure it’s not too much trouble? Don’t you and Trent want to spend the night alone?”

There.

That was a good excuse.

A valid reason when I’d let myself slip into insanity.

Eden giggled. “Um, Trent wore me out last night. This will be a good distraction.”

My lips pressed together as I warred.

“How’d you get here?”

I jolted when the low voice hit me from behind, and I shifted to look at Jud who stood there like a fortress. I swallowed the rush of desire that rose in my throat. “We got a Lyft.”

His nod was tight. “I’ll give you a ride home.”

“That’s not?—”

He leaned in, his hands on the back of my chair, his mouth at my ear. “I’ll give you a ride, Salem. I at least owe you that.”