Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

18. Jud

EIGHTEEN

JUD

Monday morning, I pushed through the door that led from the shop into the lobby.

There was nothing I could do but heave out a stone of relief when I saw Salem sitting behind the reception desk.

So what if I’d been all fucked up over the thought of her not returning this morning.

I’d spent yesterday worrying over what’d gone down between us Saturday night.

The way it’d gotten intense and fast.

Hands and mouths and fuckin’ bleeding hearts.

Way the two of us had seemed to cut ourselves wide open.

The confessions I’d made, and the way she’d looked at me like she’d hold part of them if I’d let her.

Like she might see me different.

I scrubbed a palm over my face like it could give me some clarity. Make me remember what I was supposed to be living for, where my loyalty lay, when the only thing I could do right then was edge closer to the girl who was steadily stealing every commitment I’d made.

It was that realization that affirmed I needed to put about fifteen-thousand miles between us, but nah, I treaded toward the desk. “Morning, darlin’.”

She was already looking up before I spoke, like she’d gotten hooked by that flashfire of energy, too. Her own relief at seeing me washed through her expression, though those thunderbolt eyes were filled with caution.

This morning, her black hair was this perfect structured mess piled on her head, her lips glossed, her shirt stretched just right over those tits I was really regretting not getting a better look at Saturday night.

“Good morning, Mr. Lawson.”

Gruff laughter toppled out. I couldn’t help it, not any more than I could help from sauntering the rest of the way in her direction, loving the way her eyes swept over me, flaring at the memories of what we’d done right upstairs.

“Mr. Lawson, huh? Is that how it’s gonna be?” I set my arms on the high countertop, shooting her a grin from over the top.

Her tongue licked across her full, plush lips.

My dick jumped at the sight.

“I think that’s for the best, don’t you?” She whispered that, glancing around to ensure we were alone before she looked up at me from under those full lashes.

Girl so damned pretty.

A punch to the gut.

A shock to the senses.

A fucking fantasy that I wanted to disappear into forever.

There I went, getting greedy when I knew full well I couldn’t.

Juni’s sweet face invaded my mind. Her little voice. Her excitement for life.

Memories of another little girl that I couldn’t quite place. Ones I was clinging to harder and harder the more time that passed, terrified they were going to fade.

All of it was a gutting reminder that getting any closer to Salem was going to turn out bad.

Still, I leaned in, let the confession rumble from my tongue. “Call me whatever you want, gorgeous, I’m just thankful as fuck to find you sitting here this morning.”

“You thought I wouldn’t be?” Her voice was raspy, the air growing thick, that connection suffocating in a way we couldn’t let it.

Didn’t matter. I was lost in it, stumbling around in her gravity. “Thought there was a chance you were going to hide from me.”

I let the grin take to my mouth even though a fucking riot went down at the thought.

Grim.

Salem knew—knew what it meant.

She might not know the details, but she knew what I’d done.

She saw the blood and the sin and the depravity.

I rubbed at the back of my neck, suddenly conscious of the fact.

Wondering how it was possible she was still sitting there.

“If I were smart, I would.” The lilt of a tease filled the words, but her eyes flashed with something that looked a little too close to surrender.

The truth that neither of us understood what the hell we were doing.

Treading on dangerous ground.

“I guess I’m sticking around to make a bigger mess of things,” she admitted.

“Nah, baby…” I angled my head at the dwindling stacks on the desk. “A mess is the last thing you’re making. Thinking you’re the only one who can get this disaster in order. Besides, I’m pretty sure if you decided to hide, I would just have to come find you.”

Tried to keep my tone playful, but it shifted to a growl. Possession riding high.

She choked out a disbelieving sound, though she sent me one of those seductive smiles that hit me in the gut.

“You’d come find me, huh?”

“Yup.” Like a fool, I kept angling forward.

Drawn.

Had the urge to crawl right over the counter and set this girl on my lap. Get down to an entirely different type of business.

“Told you once I tasted you, I wasn’t ever going to want to stop.”

Flames lapped. A fucking forest fire that engulfed the entire room.

Thunderbolt eyes struck, and Salem swallowed hard before she edged back, breaking the tether that pulled us together. She cleared her throat, and she glanced at the door again before she looked back at me. “I think we’d better stick to that friends thing, Jud.”

“Oh, we’re friends, darlin’. Good, good friends .”

Couldn’t keep the suggestion out.

Her eyes dropped closed, like she couldn’t look at me, and my name fell like a plea from her lips. “Jud.”

We were held there a minute, in our reservations, in our pasts that seemed to refuse either of us a new path, in the truth of what we both knew she was getting ready to say.

She finally peeked over at me when she started to speak. “I’m not sure either of us can handle this, Jud. Not when the thought of walking away from you already hurts.”

Maybe I hadn’t allowed myself to admit it, to evaluate it, but I was there, too. The fact I’d go on a hunt if she disappeared.

“I decided a thousand times yesterday that I wasn’t coming here,” she continued. “I decided I was going to leave well enough alone. And here I am, which is probably the most foolish thing I could do. But you’ve helped me so much, Jud, and I…” For a beat, the avalanche of words subsided before the admission slipped free. “I want to help you , too. And I think the only way we can manage that is if we actually do this thing as friends.”

All this goodness came gushing out.

The girl a well of it.

She made me want to drop to my knees.

She was right.

Of course, she was right.

Didn’t mean it didn’t twist through me like a blade.

“Okay,” I said.

Salem blinked like she was shocked I’d agreed.

“Okay,” she repeated, like there was a chance of this issue being resolved.

I pushed off the counter and started back toward the door that led into the main shop, but I thought better of it and made a detour. Rounding the counter, I took three steps to erase the space between us.

Salem peeped in surprise, and my hand fisted in her hair, my mouth an inch from hers.

“Okay,” I grunted again. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t still taste you on my tongue. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to taste you again.”

My mouth moved to her ear. “You don’t want me to hunt you down, Salem? Get it. But I’m afraid my heart might have already claimed you as my own.”

She touched the pounding at my chest. “And I’m afraid this heart is as broken as mine, and we’re only going to end up hurting each other. I already warned you I’m in no position to fall in love.”

A smirk ticked up at the corner of my mouth, though it was hard to keep the lightness in my voice. “Who said anything about love, darlin’? Don’t think either of us are searching for forever.”

Saying it felt like a goddamn lie.

Not when Salem was the first woman since Kennedy who had my heart tripping that direction.

Only one who could make my mind stray toward the destruction that would be waiting.

Because looking at her? It made me feel like something ugly in my life had gone good, and there was a speck of the dead parts inside that wondered what forever might feel like with her.

Thoughts turning to what if ?

This girl who’d whispered the words to me as if she’d understood them. They were the same ones I’d given Eden because I’d wanted Trent to experience all this world had to offer. Wanted someone to see him as whole and good rather than the vile, piece of trash Kennedy had seen me as once she’d known the truth.

The way Kennedy had fucking shaken, terrified of me, as she’d packed their things.

I’d tried to stop her. Promised it was done. That I’d never step foot in that cesspool again. That the sins were over.

That I’d never kill again.

It’d only made her move faster.

She’d refused to even look at me when she’d gone. She’d parted with a warning that she’d issued toward the floor. “If you try to find us, I’ll go to the police. I’ll tell them everything .”

The truth was, what she knew had only scratched the surface of the corruption that had been our lives, and I would have gladly taken any punishment if it wouldn’t have implicated my brothers. So, I’d let her leave. Watched her go. Guessed it had been standing there helpless, with nothing to do or say, no defense, no reason to give her to stay, that had hurt the worst.

The worry that maybe she was right.

The slamming of the door behind them the gavel slamming down with a guilty verdict.

From that day on, I’d waited. Kept that promise. Tried to be the man she could one day trust to come home to.

I gazed down at Salem.

My guts tangled, and my heart raced.

Blasphemy.

Traitorous.

Way she made me feel.

“Jud.” Salem said my name.

Reverence in the word.

My spirit flailed, not sure what direction it was supposed to be heading.

I reached out and traced her lips. “This sweet, fuckin’ mouth. Best thing I ever felt.”

Thunderbolt eyes flared, and a heave of air whispered from her lips.

Need gusted in the space.

More than just the lust.

That was the biggest problem of them all.

Had to get it together before I crossed another line that couldn’t be uncrossed.

I forced myself to straighten, and I sent her a casual grin. “Your car should be up and running by next week, but until then, there’s a car out front with your name on it.”

I pulled the keys from my back pocket and tossed them to her desk.

I’d called in a favor to a friend yesterday evening, and he’d dropped it off early this morning.

Salem’s brow pinched. “Jud…no. You’ve already done too much. I can’t accept this.”

“Sure, you can. That’s what friends are for, darlin’, don’t you know?”

I spun on my boots and stalked back out into the shop, deciding it was high time to throw myself into work and shuck this feeling that demanded I go back to her and confess the rest.

The base wickedness of what I’d done.

I clomped across the shiny black floors, trying to ignore Brock as I passed, except his smart ass was spewing his bullshit the way he always did.

“Ahh, you’re looking awful glum for someone who just walked straight outta heaven. Did the girl come to her senses and shoot you down, or did you turn all growly asshole and break her sweet little heart? Maybe I should go in there in case she needs a shoulder to cry on.”

Fucker rocked his hips.

I saw red.

Diverted course.

My hands curled into fists, and this rage I kept trying to suppress rose up and threatened to get free.

Proof I needed to keep my ass as far away from Salem as possible because the girl made me crazy.

All twisted up.

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth, Brock. Not going to tell you again.”

He cracked a grin. “Ahh, come on, boss, what’s got you all fired up? Blue balls or you just can’t get it up?”

A blur flew across the shop.

In a flash, Brock was pushed against the side of the truck he was working on. Darius had a crowbar pressed to his throat.

What the fuck?

“Whoa, man, I was just joking around.” Brock squeaked it.

Darius grunted and pressed harder, pinning him so hard against the metal that Brock kept angling back farther and farther until his feet were barely touching the ground.

Brock wheezed and gasped, his hands frantic where he struggled against the rod.

I edged that way, hands held out in a placating fashion. “Put the rod down, Darius.”

His eyes flashed to mine, pure hate, his teeth clenched. It was clear in that glance that his problem didn’t have a thing to do with Brock.

I stalked forward another step, until I was at the side of him, cocking my head and gripping the bar in one hand. “Said to let him go. Not going to ask you again.”

Another grunt, and Darius jerked back, freeing Brock of his hold. Brock started jumping around, coughing and shaking out his hands.

“What the hell, man?” He screeched it as he flung a hand toward Darius who stood there glowering, a beat from losing his mind. “Are you fuckin’ crazy? That shit’s not cool. You could have killed me.”

“Out,” I ordered, not even looking Brock’s way, caught in a stare down with Darius who was about to meet the dark side of me.

“Boss—”

“Said to get the fuck out, Brock. Take a break. Come back in an hour and not a minute before.”

He warred, pissed that Darius had stepped out, but the asshole needed to learn when to stop running his mouth.

“Fine.” He snatched his phone and keys off his workstation and bolted out the side door while I remained in a showdown with Darius. The heavy door slammed behind Brock, and I yanked the rod the rest of the way out of Darius’ hands.

“We got a problem?”

There it was. The rage that’d been trying to get loose since the second I’d seen the fear in Salem’s eyes last week.

Demon ripping at its chains.

The part of me that had thirsted to come unglued.

The part that had painted in her turmoil, like that look on her face could become my own.

It seemed an issue I wanted to take it out on her brother.

Fucker had an issue, too, though, because he took a step forward. Dude was probably intimidating to a normal person.

“Told you to stay away from her.” The words splintered from his mouth.

“She works here. We’re bound to run into each other.” Couldn’t keep the condescension out.

He scoffed an incredulous sound. “Talking about Saturday and you know it.”

“She was at my brother’s engagement party. She’d taken a Lyft there, thought I’d save her the money by giving her a ride home. Simple as that.”

Figured a little lie wouldn’t hurt in this case.

“Simple? You think I’m fucking stupid?”

Asshole angled up into my face.

Had to restrain myself from knocking him flat.

Tame the beast that writhed.

One I’d promised all those years ago I’d never again set free.

“Listen, I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m about finished with the shade you’ve been throwing. Your sister has become my friend. I care about her, want the best for her, and if she needs me, I’m going to be there. So, I think it’d be in your best interest if you back the fuck off, yeah? It’s going to be your final warning.”

I let what I was saying hang in the air.

“Are we clear?” I said it as I tossed the rod he’d been wielding to the top of a tool box. Metal clattered.

He sniffed, stepped back, hatred still boiling in his expression. “Yeah, boss. We’re clear.”