Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

27. Salem

TWENTY-SEVEN

SALEM

“Are you sure you don’t want to put these on?” Nervously, I held up the training wheels that had come with Juniper’s pink bike. “I think we might want to start there since your bike is brand new,” I encouraged.

It was futile.

Juni had already shot the idea down about five million times since we’d returned, and Jud had spread a work blanket out on the driveway and gotten straight to work.

He chuckled low.

Dark and deep and sweet.

“Worrier.” He grinned up at me.

“Obviously.” I was happy to take the title. It’s what I did.

Juni had of course picked the frilliest bike there was at the store. Pink with flower accents and ribbons coming off the handlebars.

From where she was kneeling next to Jud on a work blanket helping , Juni looked up at me like I was clueless. “Um, Mommy, doncha know I’m alreadys so big and I has to go fast so I can keep up with my best friend? Otherwise, he’s gonna leave me rights in the dust.”

Doncha already know? Jud mouthed it from behind her as he worked a ratchet to place a screw.

My stomach tilted.

Apparently, I knew nothing.

I was clueless.

Foolish.

Reckless.

Letting myself get absolutely swept away by this bearded, mountain of a man. He fought a grin where he knelt in front of the bike with a wrench in his hand, almost finished piecing it together.

He had a tool bag that he’d pulled from the back of his truck, and he continually rummaged through it to find what he needed, the man focused and intent and still patient, answering the gazillion questions Juni lobbed at him as he worked.

So gorgeous in his jeans and tee. The material stretching over the lines and planes of his back. The muscles in his arms flexing as he cranked and screwed, and damn…

I had to bite my lip when he glanced up at me again. In an instant, a smirk took to his face.

Crap. He totally knew I was enjoying the show.

Sure, I’d seen him working over plenty of bikes at the shop.

But this? This was different.

It was personal.

Intimate.

As if he were building something from the rubble.

Breathing it back to life.

With it? I didn’t know how to stand there without letting my mind wander to the places I shouldn’t let it.

Into a fantasy where this was normal.

Where it was right.

Where I didn’t have the urge to look over my shoulder to make sure it was safe.

That my daughter could play outside without an ounce of fear.

Where loving this man wouldn’t put him in danger.

It was that hope that bloomed and blossomed and became something terrifying.

Because forever whispered in my ear.

Taunting me with what the rational side of myself knew I could never keep but I wanted, anyway.

For him to touch me the way he had last night.

Ruin me.

Keep me.

This man who’d wormed his way in so thoroughly, I could literally feel his heart beating through my being, as if he’d become the blood in my veins.

This fierce, hard, intimidating man who was so incredibly sweet.

One who was broken and carried a guilt so dark and ugly I could almost physically feel the outline of the scars on his spirit.

And I wanted to heal it—heal it the way he was healing me. Like Mimi had said, the scars and the vacancies would never fully fill, but there was someone out there who could help hold them so they didn’t hurt quite so bad.

Jud eyed me like he’d felt the crash of reservations as he angled up to secure the basket on the handlebars. “You good, darlin’?”

“Yep.”

A smirk slanted at the edge of his mouth.

So sexy.

My stomach twisted.

“Huh, you look like you’re itching to take a run.” He said it like a tease, though there was no missing the current that ran through it. “And here I would have thought you’d have had plenty of exercise last night.”

“Nope, still plenty of energy,” I tossed out, popping up on my toes.

“Good thing,” he grated, so low, the words a promise that slicked across my flesh.

Shivers flashed.

He chuckled a dark sound.

Damn him.

He knew exactly what he was doing to me.

“And why’s that?” I cocked my head, mock innocence in my voice. “Did you have something in mind?”

Yeah, I should probably keep my mouth shut.

Balancing the bike upright, he reached over and tipped up my chin. “Sweet Enchantress…but now you’re not playin’ so sweet.”

“I like sweets, you wants some cookies?” Juni piped in, scrambling to her feet.

Jud laughed and dipped in and kissed my temple. “We’ll revisit this later, baby.”

He turned to Juni. “How about we save the cookies for later and we take this thing for a spin first?”

“Oh, yes!” She clasped her hands together. “I gotta gets my helmet and my pads and my best friend, then I’ll be all ready.”

“I’ll let them know.”

Jud thumbed into his phone and sent Trent a text.

A minute later, their front door flew open.

Gage came blazing out, hopping the whole way down to the edge of the street. “My dad said your bike is done. Are you ready, Juni Bee? We gotta race.”

“Ah, I think we aren’t quite ready for racing yet, buddy,” Trent told him as he went to wheel Gage’s bike from the carport and down the driveway, a helmet hanging from the handlebars.

Eden came out behind them, a soft smile on her face.

“But Dad, that’s what the wheels are for. The racin’.” Gage lowered his voice like it was a secret.

Clearly, Lawson blood beat fast in his veins.

“It’s okay, we can do the races. I’ll beat you so bad, you ain’t never gonna knows what hit you! Bet you five dollars,” Juni shouted.

Apparently, my daughter was secretly competitive. “Um, you don’t have five dollars, Juni Bee.”

She took Jud’s hand. “Who needs money when you gots a motorcycle man.”

My heart panged, and my attention whipped up to Jud’s face. Jud who looked like he was stricken.

He pressed his free hand to his chest, then he grinned at me, so soft, so tender, riddled with affection. “Seems I got stung by a little bee.”

Lightheadedness swept through my head.

A wave of joy and hope.

Needing to distract myself from the impact of it, so unexpected, so right, I rushed to help Juni into her helmet and the set of pads Jud had gotten for her knees and elbows.

I had to remind myself I couldn’t rely on anyone but myself. I was just begging for the pain. Because this man was carving out a place for himself inside me, and I was terrified of it becoming a vacancy.

Another hole that throbbed and moaned for all of eternity. I knew it, knew it too well, the way it felt when you lost something so important you no longer could remember how to breathe.

How to walk.

How to move on.

Jud touched my hand that I didn’t realize was shaking, that my movements had turned jittery as I’d ensured all of Juni’s protective gear was tight and secure.

“Darlin’, it’s okay.”

The words were a hard scrape.

A score in the air.

I swallowed hard.

He looked at me like I was a treasure.

What was I doing? But I couldn’t do anything but watch when Jud patted the seat of the pink bicycle. “Hop on, Juni Bee.”

She squealed, and he helped her get settled, showed her how to work the brakes and the pedals, all while keeping her upright.

Gage went jetting by with Trent running behind him to hold him up so he could learn how to pedal and balance.

“I’m flying, Juni! You better hurry up! I’m gonna ride up the highest mountain and then shoot all the way to the stars.”

“Don’t leaves me!” she shouted, pushing her feet hard at the pedals. Jud started to jog behind her, keeping her straight.

Emotion gathered in my chest.

A fist.

A crush.

A caress.

Tears blurred my eyes as I stepped out onto the street behind them to watch two brothers who I knew had suffered so much pain, take up the simple, ordinary task of teaching these two children how to ride their bikes.

So much patience.

So much care.

And I wondered if Trent thanked God that he had his son, safe and secure, and if it was killing Jud that his daughter was out there somewhere. That he didn’t know her. If his own vacancy was shouting out inside of him.

Condemning.

Reminding him of what he’d done.

I jumped when the hand took mine. I glanced to the left at Eden who had come up beside me. She squeezed my hand as we both gazed out at the men racing and laughing with the children.

Juni was screaming, her movements a little erratic as she jerked at the handlebars.

“Just relax, Juni, and go with the flow. I have you. I have you,” Jud repeated.

I have you.

My heart throbbed and my spirit moaned.

“I see so much of my fiancé in you,” she whispered out into the distance. “He was so scared of it…scared of loving someone. That he would be wrong to accept it.”

My throat suddenly felt tight, burning as the old wounds writhed.

I could feel her glance at me, though I couldn’t look away from where Jud laughed as he ran along holding Juni up.

A shield.

Fierce, unrelenting armor.

A cushion that would catch her, waiting beneath.

They guided the bikes in circles, raced the straightaways, crisscrossed as Juni and Gage chased each other.

Giggles and joy floated on the summer air, all while Trent and Jud jumped in on the taunts.

“You’re going down.”

“Ha, you don’t even know what’s coming for you.”

Everyone teasing and playing.

Easy.

Right.

“Different, of course,” Eden added, “but in the end, it’s always the tragedies, the mistakes, our scars, and our regrets that hold us back from the goodness—the gifts—that are waiting for us to receive them.”

“Me and Jud? Oh, we’re just having fun.” The lie felt like a thousand-pound weight. “We both agreed that neither of us are in a position to fall in love.”

Eden let go of a soft scoff, one made of gentle disbelief. “You think that man doesn’t love you? I doubt I’ve ever seen anything so blatant as what he feels for you.”

Fear bottled tight. It constricted my throat.

“He can’t…”

I trailed off.

Because the truth was, I couldn’t…I couldn’t let myself fall.

Be so reckless.

I was just worried I was already there.

“Let go, Dad!” Gage shouted. “Faster! I gotta go faster!”

“You’re sure you’re ready?”

“Yep!”

“Remember how to brake.”

“I know, Dad, I know!”

Trent let Gage go.

Gage wobbled for a second before he took off by himself.

He screeched when he realized he was unassisted. “I’m doing it! I’m doing it! Look it, Mommy! Look it, Juni! I bet you can’t catch me! You see that mountain over there? That’s where I’m going all the way to the top.”

His entire face was full of a grin.

Juni followed behind, Jud right behind her.

Her rock.

Her fortress.

“You ready to try, Juni Bee?” he asked her.

“I don’t knows!” she shouted at him, terror in her eyes as they whizzed back by on the other side.

He chuckled. “I’ll be right here beside you. You need me, I have you.”

My heart rattled.

“Okay, I can do it! I wants to be like you, Motorcycle Man!”

He let her go.

My daughter soared.

Rode and played and lived .

My chest stretched. Pressed full. Overflowed.

I thought there was a chance it might burst.

Jud ran along beside her. “You’re doing it, Juni. Look at you, big girl.”

“I’s doing it!”

Trent jogged beside Gage, and the four of them headed up the road.

“Come on, let’s go.” Eden giggled and tugged at my hand, and we jogged after them, laughing, too.

Juni was singing, “I’m riding, all by myself.”

“You can’t catch me,” Gage shouted at her.

Juni pedaled faster in a bid to catch up. She pedaled up and over the little hump in the road, pulling away from Jud who ran behind her.

She was cracking up when she passed by Gage. “I’m winning!”

I wondered if Jud saw it at the exact same time as I did. The car sitting at the curb that radiated evil.

The way a bolt of rage struck in the air when Jud recognized it.

The way fear spiked through the heavens like a fiery, poisoned arrow.

Jud was no longer laughing but sprinting behind her. He grabbed Juni from the bike and yanked her against his chest in a bid of protection. Her bike kept going, flying forward, tumbling and skidding across the ground.

The driver of the same black car that had been outside Jud’s shop suddenly tore from the curb and sped away.

Jud held Juniper like he was a shield. His giant shoulders heaved with aggression.

Trent grabbed hold of Gage and stilled him as the squeal of tires at the end of the road echoed through the neighborhood, as the engine accelerated before it disappeared in the distance and a bated silence took over.

Nothing but panted, shocked breaths, clanging, horrified hearts, and the frantic clattering of my footfalls as I ran for Juni.

The second I had her in my arms, my legs gave, knees going weak.

I dropped to them on the hard pavement, hugging my daughter to my chest.

“Salem.” Jud’s deep voice rolled through the tense, bottled air.

A sob of torment—the truth that this would never end—tore from my lungs.

Strength and hope gone. The truth that he would always, always catch up to me.