Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

8. Tessa

EIGHT

TESSA

My hand trembled as hard as my heart as I slowly twisted the knob to his bedroom door. The latch clicked and gave, and I drew in a steeling breath before I barely opened it an inch so I could peer through the crack.

My pulse still sprinted and clanged from the shout that had hammered through the cabin like the heavy carnage of a bomb.

Guttural.

Anguished.

My eyes narrowed as my sight tried to adjust.

Milo’s room was shrouded in shadows, dark and grim. Within it, I could almost make out the shape of the ghosts that howled and whipped and haunted the space.

His huge silhouette vibrated in the middle of it where he sat upright on his massive bed.

Somehow, he still managed to overpower it with his sheer size.

Every muscle in his body was rigid.

Coiled.

Ready to strike.

My spirit clutched.

All afternoon and night while he’d been at work, I’d reeled from the severity of the interaction we’d shared earlier in the day.

He’d been filled with a rage that hadn’t been directed at me.

A torrent of grief so great it’d erupted from his mouth and fired from his tongue.

Now, his aura danced in a glow of flames. Red and orange hues that lapped and simmered and seethed, as if the man were being burned alive where he sat struggling for control in the middle of his bed.

Carefully, I eased the door open farther and took a tentative step inside. In an instant, I was pummeled by the energy that ricocheted chaotically throughout the room.

“Hey.” The word was held in caution.

It would be rude to ask him if he was okay when he clearly was not.

His bed sat horizontally across the room, the headboard against the wall to my right.

Warily, he turned his focus toward me. “What are you doing in here, Tessa?”

There was no anger behind it. It was just another of those warnings that I shouldn’t try to get inside his head.

A warning that I couldn’t handle it or maybe that I couldn’t understand. Maybe I was ignorant to disagree. But his pain had jolted me from my own agonized, fitful sleep, and I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe we could be there for each other.

“I heard you,” was all that I said.

Energy swelled.

Whispered and blew and compelled.

The attraction I’d always felt for him was different this time.

Bolder and darker.

It was the kind that made you fearful to step into it because you knew your infatuation had turned dangerous.

It wasn’t light or frivolous.

It wasn’t a tease.

It was deep and desperate and terrifying.

And I was sure, right in that second, I felt it down to my soul.

Milo roughed out a cynical sound as he stared blankly at the window opposite him. “Never should have asked you to stay here.”

“Because you don’t want me here?” I figured I should lay it out. Tiptoeing wasn’t exactly my thing.

He looked at me then, with that strikingly gorgeous fury that he kept locked down tight. His jaw was clenched beneath his beard, and he leveled me with a stare that made me both want to run and drop to my knees.

“No, Tessa, because of how much I do want you here.”

Severity crashed.

An intense awareness that swirled through the room.

It compelled me forward.

“You’re lonely,” I murmured.

The air shivered, and the racing of my heart turned erratic.

His attention dipped to his legs that were covered by a dark comforter, his big body this fortress that I could so clearly see had been damaged.

Battered and barraged.

The foundation cracked.

Pieces missing.

He rubbed the heel of his hand against the center of his chest. “It wasn’t supposed to go down this way.”

“What way?” I pressed, pushing for details as I floated toward him, so slow it might take me an eternity to get there but compelled all the same.

“That I would lose every single thing that I loved.”

“Your wife?” The question was a ball of sympathy I lobbed at him.

“Gone.” He bunted it right back.

I didn’t need him to clarify. It was written in the single word.

She was gone.

Forever.

He had no chance of getting her back.

Heartache pulled tight, and my feet kept shuffling across the floor until I found myself standing at the edge of his bed.

He looked up at me in a way that clutched so tightly that it yanked me down onto the edge of his mattress.

No longer able to stand.

He’d told me to make myself at home, but I doubted that had included me creeping into his room at night.

But I didn’t think there was a bone in my body that could have resisted the lure of his spirit.

The need to come here.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, refusing to look away from the harsh planes of his face.

I had the urge to sweep the pad of my thumb over the stark slash of his eyebrows, like it might be able to erase some of the strain.

A low, rough chuckle rumbled the air, a sound that came completely at his expense. “I’m sorry, too.”

Part of me wanted to ask what happened to her, but I wasn’t sure we were there yet. Pushing my way into a place he’d asked me not to go. But there was something about what had transpired earlier today that had the words escaping without permission.

“What’s going on with your kids, Milo?”

Driving his fingers through his hair, he inhaled a sharp breath. Tension rippled over his flesh before the gruff confession left his mouth. “I just want them back.”

“How did your in-laws get custody?”

Self-hatred filled his laugh, and his honeyed eyes dimmed, a thousand shades of black that raged in the shadows.

“After Autumn died…” His teeth ground with the pain that rocked through him.

An earthquake.

“Let’s just say I wasn’t in the best frame of mind.”

“Anyone could understand that.”

His laughter was hollow. “No, Tessa, not everyone could understand that. I…” He hesitated for a moment before he admitted, “I pretty much disappeared for a year. Fell off the face of the earth because I wasn’t sure how to walk it any longer.”

I gulped and forced myself to remain sitting, quietly waiting for him to continue.

“When I returned, I told them I’d gotten myself back together. That I was ready to care for the kids. But they fought me on it. Took me to court. The judge saw me unfit, citing the kids would be better off with them.”

“How could anyone judge in their favor?”

“Look at me, Tessa.” He gestured at himself.

Slowly, I shifted, climbing onto my hands and knees so I could crawl up to face him. Crisscrossing my legs, I reached out and curled my hand around the top of his.

Sparks streaked up my arm.

Attraction.

Want.

I guarded myself against it, tried to ignore it.

What kind of selfish jerk would think about him in that way when he was finally opening up to me?

He needed a friend.

Someone who supported him.

“I’m so sorry, Milo. I can see how much you love them.”

“I got one day of visitation a week,” he continued on a heavy rasp, like now that he’d started, he didn’t know how to stop. “One fuckin’ day, Tessa.”

His sorrow spun around me, tendrils that pulled me in his direction.

“And what do you want?” Somehow, it came out a plea.

His thick throat bobbed when he swallowed, his confession low and hard. “I want to be there for them. I want to be the one who tucks them in at night and the one who wakes them up in the morning to get ready for school. I want to be the annoying dad who makes fuckin’ horrible jokes and the same one who patches up their skinned knees when they fall down. I want to raise them, Tessa. I want them to know every day of their lives that they are my reason. The purpose I have to go on.” Desperation ground through his words. “I want them to know they are the meaning of my life.”

Emotion pressed down. A thousand pounds on my chest.

The man was conflict.

Sweet and good.

Rough and fierce.

A beautiful beast with that broken halo tipped to the side.

I wanted to reach out and straighten it.

Promise he was decent and right.

True, I hardly knew him. It didn’t matter. I could still see.

Could feel.

It was something Bobby had always said I possessed—the ability to barely brush into someone’s atmosphere and know the state of their heart.

Whether it was ugly or honest.

Corrupt or kind.

“What are you going to do?” Caution filled my quieted words.

Hope shimmered around his big body. “I’ve hired a new lawyer, and I’m petitioning the court for full custody. Didn’t want it to come to that, had hoped that we could come to some sort of resolution, but…”

He inhaled heavily before he slowly blew out, the gentleness that was this man at odds with the ferocity that radiated from his flesh. “My in-laws won’t budge. They keep claiming I’m unfit. A threat to my children’s well-being. It doesn’t help they are loaded. They basically pay for things to go down the way they want. But if they want to fight me, then I’m going to fight back hard.”

“What can I do to help? I could be a witness. Tell them what a really awesome roommate you are. I mean, who wouldn’t want someone like me vouching for them?” I joked.

But I meant it.

“I’ll do anything you need, Milo.”

“How is it you’re so good, Little Dove?”

“I am pretty great, right?” My smile was soggy, hoping he understood. That I truly wanted the best for him.

“I mean it. Anything you need,” I reiterated as my hand tightened around his.

He shifted it to thread his fingers through mine. We both just kind of…stared at where we were joined.

Contemplating what it meant.

Friendship, Tessa. It meant friendship.

But I couldn’t deny the way my guts were tangled in a coil of excitement, sitting there with him like this.

I had to blame it on my own loneliness.

Sure, I had friends. Eden was my world. The best friend I could ask for.

But there was always something missing. With each loss I’d suffered, the void inside me had been carved deeper.

Karl had done nothing to fill it.

He’d only amplified it.

Filled it with chains and shame and this gross feeling that had seeded itself so deep in my being I’d thought I’d never be able to uproot it.

With Milo?

My throat thickened, and I tried to swallow around the rising of something fascinating.

Enchanting.

Lovely and formidable.

And I was suddenly struck with an idea. A freaking crazy, wild, reckless idea.

Milo frowned, catching up to the shift in my mood. “What is it?”

Anticipation had me stroking my tongue across my lips. “I have an idea.”

“What’s that?”

“We pretend to be engaged.”

Shocked, he started to yank his hand away, but I held on tighter. “You said it yourself that your in-laws have painted you in a bad light. Let’s repaint it. Show them that you’ve moved on with your life. That you’re healthy and happy and in love. Building something new. Let’s show them that you deserve to have your kids back.”

“Tessa.” My name fell from his lips like a reprimand. Like I’d jumped off the deep end.

I wasn’t swayed. “Think about it, Milo. Why do you think they haven’t given you custody? Because you’re some dude who lives by himself, right?”

He flinched like I’d hit him, and I gathered up his hand tighter. “I’m not being flippant about this, Milo. Think about it. What would your attorney say if they were told you were engaged? Be honest.”

He shifted his gaze away, looking to the wall. He might have wanted to reject my idea, but I could tell the way his chest heaved that there was some validity to it.

“What would your attorney say?” I pressed again.

“She’d probably be thrilled to hear it.”

“See,” I drew out, holding too tightly to his hand, excited by the prospect.

“This is a terrible idea, Tessa.” His voice was a deep rumble.

“All the good ones are.” I grinned.

A soft chuckle tumbled off his lips, and he raked a hand through his hair, eyeing me carefully. “Are you serious about this?”

“I meant it when I said I’d do anything to help you, and I’m pretty sure this is the best thing I could do. We’re friends. We’re supposed to help each other.”

“I don’t think I can ask that of you.”

“You aren’t asking anything of me, Milo. I’m offering it.”

Disbelieving amusement flitted through his strong features. “You’re insane, you know that?”

“Completely. That’s why you love me.” I said it light, but emotion wobbled through the air.

“Do you think we could pull it off?” I rushed, trying to ignore the way my insides quaked with how close he was.

The smile that kicked at the edge of his mouth was sad. “It couldn’t be all that hard imagining getting to love you.”

My knees knocked with the impact of it. “But don’t you worry. It’s all just fake. Completely fake. Right?” I didn’t mean to let the last word hitch with hope.

My stomach flipped as the foolish girl inside me hoped this might include the two of us getting naked.

His eyes took a quick jaunt over my body. “Wouldn’t dream of touching you, Tessa.”

“Well, now you’re just offending me.” My lips curled a fraction. Like all of this was no big deal when I was pretty sure what I’d just offered wasn’t going to come without consequences.

Being in his space like this. Wanting him when he would never want me. Already half in love with a man who would never love me back.

“You know you’re stunning, Tessa. Every fuckin’ inch of you. Inside and out. I just won’t be the fool to dream of it for myself.”

That lump in my throat throbbed, and nervously, I wrung my fingers together.

“I want to help you,” I whispered, so quietly. “I want to help you get your kids back. This is where they belong. Let’s do this, Milo. Together.”

His big palm glided up my neck and settled on the side of my face. “Are you sure?”

“I am,” I promised.

No matter the cost.

The affection in his gaze threatened to burn me to bits. “Thank you. I won’t ever be able to repay you.”

“I’m not asking you to repay me, Milo. This is what friends do.”

“Never thought I’d have a friend quite like you.”

“Well, I am pretty amazing.” I winked.

His thumb slipped across the apple of my cheek, no lightness in his tone when he murmured, “You are completely amazing.”

I gulped, caught in the intensity, in his warmth that was nothing but a trap.

I hopped off his bed before I did something stupid like crawl into his lap. “I’d better get back to bed.”

He nodded slowly, his gaze tracing me in the lapping shadows. “Okay.”

Turning, I headed for the door because I had to get out of there before it became too much.

I had my hand on his doorknob when his voice caressed me from behind. “Thank you, Tessa. I mean it in a way you don’t understand. Even if it doesn’t turn out in my favor, my gratitude toward you will be unending.”

From over my shoulder, I peered back at him. “This is going to be risky, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. But the risk is all on me, and there’s nothing I won’t do for my kids.”

I nodded around the disorder that blew through my spirit. “Then I’m happy to do it with you.”

Before either of us could say anything else, I opened his door and made a beeline for the guest room, thinking it might sever the attraction that had left me a needy mess.

My body aching for him was one thing.

That, I could handle.

But I knew, deep down, it was my heart that was at risk.