Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

24. Tessa

TWENTY-FOUR

TESSA

My chest squeezed in both sorrow and joy where I paused outside Bobby’s door. I’d come as soon as I’d finished up work for the day, needing to see his face.

Today, he was in his bed, the head of it propped up so he was upright.

Late-afternoon light spilled in through the window where he sat unseeing, the rays filtering over him in a shimmery spotlight.

The focus on my big brother.

I forced a bright smile onto my face, wearing it to camouflage the pain that seeped through my bloodstream.

Because I missed him.

I missed his voice.

I missed his smiles.

I missed his teasing and his jokes and his devotion.

The way he’d fought like crazy to give me a good life, then lost the potential of his in a single moment.

Dreams stricken.

Stolen away.

I eased forward, keeping my footsteps light.

His left side twitched, and my heart throbbed with the bare hope that he at least was aware of my presence.

“Hey, Bobby,” I whispered as I rounded to the side of his bed. I scanned him, searching for signs that he was still being well cared for. That he was healthy and whole, at least in the form of his current condition.

His russet hair was brushed, his clothes were clean, and they continually shifted his position so he wouldn’t end up with pressure sores from sitting in one spot for too long.

I was suddenly so thankful for the gift Milo had offered that I felt too unsteady to stand, knowing what it meant for Bobby.

A gift that came without chains or expectations, which was funny, considering I would give him anything.

Pulling a chair to the side of Bobby’s bed, I sat down and reached out to carefully take the hand that he held against his chest. I opened his fist, and I touched the round locket as emotion crept up my throat. “Have you been thinking about me, Bobby? I know I’ve been thinking about you.”

I looked up at his face, still so handsome, though it’d thinned a ton since his accident.

He’d once been muscled and fierce.

My hero.

He might be frail now, but he was still my hero. That was never going to change.

“It’s a beautiful summer, isn’t it?” I kept as much lightness in my tone as I could.

I glanced behind me out the window to the flowering Crape Myrtle just outside.

Turning back, I curled my hand around his and decided to broach the subject that I really wanted to talk to him about. “So, remember that friend I was telling you about? The one I’m staying with?”

I got no response. It didn’t matter. I just prayed he understood. “He’s pretty amazing.”

There was no keeping the affection out.

My heart fluttered just thinking Milo’s name.

“He’s helping me take care of you while I figure things out, so we at least don’t have to worry for a little bit,” I rushed. “He’s truly so good to me.”

I wouldn’t torture Bobby with the sordid details about the epic afternoon Milo and I had shared in his backyard two days ago.

It was hands down the sexiest thing that had ever happened to me, and we hadn’t even had sex .

Afterward, Milo had hovered over me for the longest time, like he was memorizing the moment, the way we’d both felt, before he’d pushed his lips to my ear and whispered, “Want you so bad, Little Dove. Want you in a way I don’t understand.”

There had been so much fear behind his statement, so much reservation, so much guilt.

I wanted to show him that there was still life after trauma.

Love after loss.

“I think I’m falling for him, Bobby.” I choked out a soft, disbelieving laugh. “Of course, I’d be the girl to go after the one guy who doesn’t think he can love me back. Shocker, right? But there’s something about him that makes me feel like I’m tied to him. Like we belong together. Like we can soothe each other’s loneliness.”

I rubbed my thumb over the back of Bobby’s hand. “I miss it, Bobby. Having a family. Is it wrong to imagine I could have one with him? He has these two kids...”

Emotion clogged my voice. “They’re amazing, and I think I’m falling for them, too. And they think I’m marrying their dad. Can you believe it? It’s all fake, Bobby, but it’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt.”

I tightened my hold on his hand. God, I wished he could respond to me. Tell me I was being crazy. Neurotic the way I was. Or maybe give me his blessing. Tell me to chase after what I loved because losing it was what would be the tragedy.

“I get myself into some messes, don’t I?” Through bleary eyes, I smiled at my brother. His eyes were distant, but I could feel the steady pound of his heart.

I had to believe he was right there.

“You probably want to kick my butt and tell me to get my life together right now, don’t you? But I think I finally am. At least I’m finally understanding what it is I want.”

I wanted my brother cared for.

Healed because I’d never stopped believing it was possible. Never stopped praying for that miracle.

God, if he could hug me one more time? What I wouldn’t give for that.

Beyond that?

I wanted a connection. The same thing I got to see in my friends.

A devotion and need that went beyond imagination.

I wanted to be cherished.

Adored.

And I wanted the gift of cherishing someone, too. Of them experiencing my love and my faith in them.

I wanted my person .

“I love you, Bobby. So much. And I will always, forever be fighting for you.” I curled his hand back around the charm, and I pushed to my feet and leaned over him so I could press a kiss to his forehead. “I could never ask for a better brother. Thank you for loving me, too.”

I eased away, my affection whispering around my lips. “I’ll see you in a few days, okay? And know I’m thinking about you…always.”