Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

27. Tessa

TWENTY-SEVEN

TESSA

I eased up behind Milo who stood with his palms pressed to the island countertop with his head drooped between his shoulders.

Late afternoon light streamed through the windows, casting his giant frame in shimmery rays that made my stomach clench and my heart fist.

Everything about him was overpowering.

Overwhelming.

Big and intimidating and rough.

Soft and kind and real.

I wished with all of me he could see himself the way I saw him.

That he could understand the way he made me feel.

I slid my hand up his spine, praying I could offer him comfort.

A shiver raced through his body.

He’d been in turmoil since we’d found his windshield bashed in and the note in his truck on Thursday night, the man in this constant war inside his head that I had no idea how to fight.

Because he’d shut down and shut me out, though he watched over me like he was terrified I was going to disappear, all while looking at me like maybe he wished I’d never existed in the first place.

Like I might be the source of his pain.

“It’s almost time. We need to finish getting ready,” I murmured.

“Not sure this is a good idea anymore.”

A frown curled my brow. “The party, or are you talking about your kids?”

Tonight, we were supposed to be celebrating.

It was our official engagement party. It had been Milo’s mom’s idea. Heck, she’d pretty much insisted on it. At the time, Milo had agreed, but that had been before Thursday.

We’d thought, what better way to profess our love to the rest of the world than to come together with the people closest to us to mark it.

Yeah, we were full steam ahead with this little charade, and if we were putting on a show, we needed to do it right.

But this charade had come to feel too real and complicated and complex.

The ground no longer solid beneath my feet.

Because when Milo shifted to look at me from over his shoulder, my heart stalled out.

It was like my spirit needed the extended beat.

A moment to recognize the profound fullness of what I felt.

I was in love with Milo Hendricks.

Completely.

Wholly.

And I was petrified he might not ever see through his past to love me back.

God, I’d gotten in deep.

Tangled in this man.

So invested I wondered if I’d remain whole when the deceit spit me out on the other side.

But I also knew, no matter how much this hurt me in the end, it was worth it.

He was worth it.

His children were worth it.

It didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell.

“All of it.” Torment rolled through his gruff words.

“If I know one thing about you, it’s that you deserve to have your children in your life…and they deserve to have you in theirs.”

“Not if it puts them in danger.”

The dread I’d been sporting for two days slashed at my resolve. My voice shallowed out. “How are they in danger, Milo? Tell me what’s happening.”

Milo scrubbed a tattooed hand over his face, and he looked to his boots when he rumbled, “I?—”

We both froze when the front door opened without warning.

Milo shot upright, instantly on edge, even though workers had been coming and going all day to set up.

His mother popped her head through the door, one of her affectionate smiles alight on her face, though she appeared a little frazzled as she wrangled in a large white box.

“Oh, my goodness, I’m finally back, sorry about that. Debbie had to show off the cake before she would let me take it. She claims it’s the best she’s ever made, which I’m going to have to agree. Of course, she made it extra special for the two most special people in my life.”

She grinned as she set it down beside us on the counter. In the same beat, she reached for my hand and squeezed just as she set her hand on Milo’s cheek with the other. “Don’t be nervous, Milo. This is a good day. I know you’re not about all the hubbub and big parties, but this is worth celebrating.”

Milo visibly swallowed his reservations, forcing a big smile to his face as he looked at his mom. “I’m good, Mom. Don’t worry about me.”

“I always worry about you.” She ran her thumb under his eye as if he were a little boy who needed the support.

Emotion swam through my chest, and I cleared the roughness away with a forced giggle.

“It’s not like it’s that big of a party, anyway. Just our closest friends and family.”

Mine were one and the same.

Not one blood relative to my name.

Bobby’s face flashed through my mind, and my chest felt like it just might cave. What I wouldn’t do for him to be here. For him to experience this.

And it wasn’t even real, so what in the world was I thinking?

I’d gotten it all convoluted.

What this meant.

I did my best to keep the sorrow out of my voice when I spoke to Cheryl. “And you went and made it extravagant, anyway.”

Cheryl’s black hair swished around her shoulders, and she angled her head to the side as she tightly gripped my hand.

“Only the best for the people I love.” She swiveled her attention to Milo. “Besides, it’s Milo who spent years taking care of me. I think it’s time I return the favor.”

My teeth raked my bottom lip.

So many questions.

Why’d I have to go and fall for a man who was so not an open book when I really liked reading between the pages?

“All right, what else needs to be accomplished?” Cheryl asked as she stepped back, shaking herself out of the intensity of the moment.

The party was taking place out back.

Twinkle lights had been strung in the trees. Round tables were set up beneath them, and they were covered by white tablecloths. Each was decorated with white and pink floral bouquets.

A dance floor was off to the side since Cheryl had asked me my favorite thing to do at a party, and there was an open bar to the left for our guests to enjoy.

It would be a blast if it were real.

If Milo wasn’t second-guessing everything.

If this all hadn’t turned into a cluster that I had no idea how to sort.

“I think that’s it. This guy needs to get changed, and we’ll be ready to roll.”

I jostled my hip into his.

He grunted a grumbly sound, then he was breathing out in pained relief when I reached out and took his hand and threaded our fingers together.

I glanced up at him.

We have this. We’re a great team.

He just had to let me off the bench if we were going to win.

Music played softly from the speakers that had been set up around the yard, and a gentle breeze blew through, rustling the trees and making the twinkle lights dance across the lawn. The lake was calm and glittering behind us, and light laughter trickled through the atmosphere, voices soft and carrying, the mood easy and right if it weren’t for the man who was tacked to my side.

All burly and grumpy and intimidating, wearing dress pants and a button-down, the sleeves rolled up his tatted arms.

Need quivered in my belly. I’d never seen the man look so delicious.

He and I had found ourselves in the shadows of the yard, watching as our guests finished eating their dinners.

Cheryl had organized this big buffet that was full of every kind of dish.

The woman was so sweet.

So kind.

So hopeful when I could feel her son losing hope.

Milo’s arm twitched where he had it wrapped around my waist, his nerves as jumbled as they’d been earlier, before his mom had walked in.

“We have this,” I muttered under my breath again.

“Don’t you dare leave my side. Need you, Tessa.” It was a bare grunt from his throat.

And I guessed I was having a really hard time differentiating the counterfeit from the factual.

Delineating his feigned affections from the concrete.

Because his fingers dug into my side as if I’d become his anchor when his spirit kept floating adrift.

The man casually nursed a beer while he tried to hide the uncertainty and doubt.

To camouflage the shadow of shame that hovered around him like a merciless reaper.

“I’m not going anywhere, Milo. I don’t care what you’ve done in your past.”

He shifted until he was towering over me, the man an obliterating fortress that ripped the breath from my lungs. His hand came to my jaw. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Then tell me.”

I didn’t even realize we’d gotten lost in our own little bubble until a hand clamped down on my forearm.

My attention whipped that way. Eden pinned on the biggest smile that was completely faked.

“You wouldn’t mind if I stole my BFF for a minute, would you, Milo?”

His expression promised he most assuredly did.

“Eh, sure, of course.”

“I’ll be right back. Promise.”

His nod was tight.

Eden began to drag me to a secluded spot on the opposite side of the yard. I couldn’t help but look at Milo fading into the distance as we went.

I whipped back around when she rushed under her breath, “What is going on with you two?”

I pinned on a feigned smile, completely innocent. “Who, me and Milo?”

“Um…yes…you and Milo.”

“We’re getting married, obviously.”

“Tessa.” Her tone lowered in seriousness as a worried dent formed on her brow.

I blew out a heavy sigh and mumbled, “I have no idea what’s going on.”

“It looks like something is going on to me.”

“Oh, I don’t know, does it look like I’m glowing from the two amazing orgasms he gave me?”

“Shut up,” she choked as she tugged me closer. “You had cake, and you didn’t tell me?”

Laughter ripped from me, still half-disoriented from the impact of it. I still couldn’t process it. “God, and it was so good, Eden. Like, decadent, dark, delicious chocolate cake.”

I would never get enough.

She giggled. “My bestie finally got herself some good lovin’. Tell me you ate it all.”

“I wish. It was only a tiny taste. I’m, like, still starving , and I’d really like Milo to stuff me.” I angled my head to stress the point.

She cracked up, her laughter ringing over the lawn.

A bunch of faces spun our direction, and I turned my back to them, hoping I remained hidden in the shadows.

My hands shot to my face like I could cover the need that wanted to rush out. “I’m so screwed, Eden.”

She pried a hand from my face, and she dipped down to meet my gaze, all the lightness draining from her expression. “Hey, you’re not screwed…you’re just…in love, aren’t you?”

I blew out a sigh and glanced back at the man in the distance. Trent, Jud, and Logan had joined him, and he sipped at a beer, the faint lines of one of his sexy smiles tipping up behind his beard at something one of them said.

Hello, volcanic eruption spewing out the hotties.

But Milo was the only one I could see.

This man who’d changed everything inside me.

Stood up for me.

God, how desperately I wanted to stand beside him.

I slowly turned back to Eden.

“He’s my Ace, Eden. The one I never could have anticipated or expected. The one who makes me feel alive with just a glance. And when he touched me…” I trailed off, my mouth going dry at the memories.

“I felt like a treasure for the first time in my life. Like I found the person I belong with. My match. But he doesn’t see it the same.”

Sympathy deepened her features. “You’re blind if you don’t see the way he looks at you.”

Emotion thickened my throat, this love and this pain knitting together and becoming one. “He might want me, but he won’t love me, and I won’t settle for anything less. Not ever again.”

Affection wisped through her eyes. “No, don’t settle, not ever. But don’t give up on him, either. I’ve seen that look before, and that’s not lack of love, Tessa. It’s fear of feeling it when he thinks he shouldn’t.”

Possibility blossomed. It only took a second for it to get trampled by the fear.

“He’s got these demons…” The word hitched in my throat, and I looked at Eden in this broken hope as I touched that achy spot on my chest. “Secrets. I’m afraid he might be in trouble. He got jumped the other night by a bunch of men.”

I warred, wondering how much to share with her, if I’d be breaking Milo’s trust by confiding in my bestie.

Worry eclipsed her joy, and she barely nodded as she glanced at the group of men who looked like a pack of yummy, gooey trouble standing beneath the stars that shined down over the party. “And if he is in trouble? What then?”

“Then I face it with him. Help him get his kids back, whatever it costs.”

Eden squeezed my hand. “I’m pretty sure it’s you he could never expect. You who’s bringing faith back into his life after he lost it.”

“We all need someone to stand by our side.”

Eden wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight. “And he’s lucky it’s you.”

Moisture stung the back of my eyes, and we both let go of these affected giggles when I stepped out of her embrace. Eden always got me.

Understood.

No judgment.

“Come on, everyone is going to be wondering where the bride-to-be ran off to. They’ll think you got cold feet.”

Hand-in-hand, we started walking back toward the party.

“Is it wrong I wish it were real?” I whispered so only she could hear.

“No, Tessa, there is nothing wrong with wishing for the things we want. The things we need. For believing in the chance of them, even when it feels impossible.”

“There you two are. I was beginning to feel left out. Way to leave a nursing mother over here sitting all by herself.” Salem sent us a pout, though there was curiosity blazing in her blue eyes, obviously catching the severity of what was riding on our demeanors. She had her sweet baby boy, Grant, pressed to her breast, where she sat at one of the round tables, her hand running over the back of his tiny head as he ate.

Baby Kate was asleep in the mobile crib Eden and Trent had brought.

Juniper lifted her head from where she was sitting next to her mother, coloring.

“You’re not by yourself, Mommy, you silly willy. I’m right here, and you’ve got my brover right there.”

Juni used her crayon to point at Grant, who grunted as he suckled.

“Hey, what about me?” Gage’s eyes were pure offense as he looked up from his coloring sheet to Juni. “I’m right here, too.”

He and Juni Bee were tied at the hip, the two so adorable the way they couldn’t go anywhere without the other, their lives forever linked.

Eden had gotten the sweet bonus of Gage when she’d married Trent, and his brother, Jud, was lucky as hell to get not just the amazingness that was Salem, but her daughter, too.

“I would never in ever forget you, Gage,” Juni told him, so serious.

He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “You better not, especially since we’re gettin’ married.”

Neither of them had quite figured out that they were now cousins by marriage and that was not going to happen. But they’d been claiming it for so long, everyone had pretty much given up correcting them on it.

They’d figure it out.

“Maybe we should just have a double wedding,” I teased as I moved around the table and pressed a kiss to the top of Gage’s head. He angled back so he was beaming up at me.

All adorable dimples and these big brown eyes.

My chest stretched full.

Holy crap, how much I loved these babies. This makeshift family I’d never expected to receive.

“Not old enough yet, Auntie Tessa. Doncha know nothin’?”

A giggle got free, and I swept in to press a kiss to Juni’s cheek as I mumbled, “Apparently, Auntie knows absolutely nothing.”

“What’s nothing?” Aster asked as she came walking over, carrying a pink, bubbly drink with a bunch of maraschino cherries floating in it.

“Tessa knows nothing,” Salem supplied.

“Oh, right, yes, I already knew this.” Aster grinned as she plopped her adorable pregnant butt onto a chair.

“Oh, I see how it is,” I drew out, then my brow was drawing together. “And are you giving me crap when you’re sitting over there drinking a Shirley Temple?”

“Would you rather I have a margarita?” She arched a brow as she took a sip. “Besides, I’m pretty sure it’s you who deserves all the crap with this… This is quite the party,” she drew out. She lifted her glass and waved it around, indicating the mess I’d gotten myself into.

Sighing, I plunked onto the chair next to her and leaned my head on her shoulder. “Pathetic, right?”

She took my hand. “No, honey, you’re just doing what you feel is right.”

“And you’re doing it so well, Jud hasn’t even asked a thing about it,” Salem added.

“Yeah. It was hard not to let something slip coming over here. This is a lot, Tessa,” Aster murmured, her voice close to a warning.

I could feel a thousand silent questions screaming from my friends.

Salem arched an inquisitive brow my direction, her words held in code. “Why are you over there looking so loved up?”

“Ugh,” I groaned.

“Because she’s gettin’ married, Auntie Salem. She’s got the love.” Gage said it like her question was so ridiculous I was surprised he didn’t tack a duh to the end of it.

“Hmm,” Salem mused.

Guilt came lighting on my cheeks, and I itched in my seat.

“Oh, you little faker,” Salem wheezed as she leaned closer to the table. “Tell me now.”

The clinking of a knife against a champagne glass and Cheryl announcing she had something to say had me hopping to my feet. “Oh, that’s me. Gotta go.”

“You’re in so much trouble, Tessa McDaniels,” Salem called after me.

Oh, I was in trouble all right. She just didn’t know how deep it went.