Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

31. Milo

THIRTY-ONE

MILO

Darkness swathed the room in shadows.

Ocean eyes gazed at me through them.

A thousand currents.

Unfound depths.

Belief.

Trust.

Love.

My chest tightened as I held her in my arms. Our limbs were tangled, our breaths slowed but jagged as we floated through the type of tranquility I wasn’t meant to possess.

“I believe in you,” she whispered that time as she dragged her fingers through my beard, riding down until they were playing over the designs on my chest.

Tiny Tease tapping out a love song that was supposed to have no beginning but begged for no end.

Wanted to give it to her.

All of it.

All of me.

Always.

I curled my arm tighter around her, breathing out a sigh as I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “It’s been a long time since someone has.”

The softest smile played over her lips that were swollen from my kisses. I couldn’t do anything but trace it with my finger.

“I think your mom has always believed in you.”

Affection tugged at my insides. “Yeah, guess she has, hasn’t she?”

“Mm-hmm, she sees just how incredible you are.”

A grin pulled to one side of my mouth, this feeling too light as I held Tessa in the darkness. “Think she might be biased.”

“I think she knows exactly what she’s talking about.” An easy playfulness edged her words.

“Hmm…I’m thinking someone else might be a little biased, too.” My fingers threaded through those fiery locks of red.

Tessa all but grinned. “Well, I guess someone did knock me out with his giant cock.”

A surprised chuckle raked free as my brows shot toward the ceiling. “Knocked you out, huh?”

She nodded emphatically. “Oh, yeah. TKO. I’m done for. I might not have my faculties about me any longer. There’ll be no thinking straight from here on out.”

Air puffed from my nose. “I hope you know what you’re doing. That all of this isn’t about me blowing your mind with my dick.”

Tried to keep that light, too, but the words were rough.

“I know exactly what I’m doing.”

Her fingers kept exploring, tracing the lines of my tattoos, before she was running her fingertips over the word stamped on my side.

Gore.

It stood out over the rest, right over that deep scar on my side.

“What does this mean?” she whispered, in tune with me and already sure it held significance.

A tremble rocked down my spine, my mouth going dry.

Tessa leaned up a little bit. “You can trust me, Milo. I already told you there is nothing you could have done in your past that would make me stop believing in you. Make me stop loving you.”

She touched my jaw as she emphasized it, and my lungs pressed full with her beauty, with that fiery, sweet loyalty that made her extraordinary.

Just like my mother had said.

“Told you fighting is in my blood.”

She barely flinched, but I still felt it, felt her spirit prepare to be led in a direction that would likely send her running out my door. “You did.”

“First time it happened, I was in middle school. These kids…they were always fuckin’ pushing me. Rubbing it in my face that we were poor. That my father was a drunk. Wasn’t like I didn’t show up at school with black eyes half the time.”

“Milo.” Sympathy rushed through her expression.

My head shook to cut her off. If she wanted me to get this out, I was just going to have to spill it.

“One of them called my mom a whore, which seriously? My mom’s a fuckin’ saint. That was it. I lost it. Beat the fuck out of that kid. It felt so damn good.”

My teeth ground when I admitted it.

When I gave voice to the violence that seethed underneath.

Barely held.

Barely constrained.

She wanted my darkness? I was going to give it to her. Make her understand. I was sure she still didn’t have the first clue what she was getting into.

“Well, I think I want to kick that kid’s ass, too.” Her voice was choppy with affection, blue eyes racing over me like she was trying to see through the veil, which apparently, she didn’t have to look too hard because when it came to her, there was no denying her.

“It got worse as I got older. Fought so much in high school, they finally expelled me. It was after my mom left my father.”

I paused, an onslaught of ugly memories impaling me. “My father was this nasty bastard who took his misery out on my mom and me whenever he got the chance. As I got older, I did my best to take the blows for her, but I swear, every fuckin’ time he hit me, this monster inside me grew. It got to the point where I think I craved it…him hitting me so I could return it. When I was sixteen, I came home one night to him hitting on my mom. I beat him so bad I don’t know how he ever got up again. That was the night my mom finally cracked. Knew we couldn’t stay there anymore. She and I took off while he was still bleeding on the floor, and we came here to Redemption Hills.”

Regret blistered hot across my flesh. “But it was like once I stopped having to fight him, I needed somewhere else to turn the aggression.”

She started to say something, but her questions stalled out, like she knew I wasn’t ready to answer them.

Not yet.

“I got involved in some bad stuff, Tessa.” Barely was able to force the admission out.

“My grandparents were still alive when we came back here. There was this shitty trailer sitting on this property, and they gave it to us, not that they had much else than the land to their names, either. Mom and I made it the best home that we could, but it was still there, Tessa. The rage . This feeling that threatened to boil over. We were broke as fuck, so when I was presented the opportunity, I took it.”

“The opportunity?” Tessa’s voice was thin, held in concern, but without any judgment.

My hand tightened on her hip, and I focused on the way her bare body felt against mine.

The warmth.

The goodness.

The hope.

The sun rising on a darkened day.

Regret churned through my insides. Hate and violence and thirst for retribution seething underneath.

“I’d met this guy. Stefan. I guess he’d seen something in me, and he took me under his wing. He started having me do random odd jobs. Gave me money. Made me feel like I was something more than the piece of shit my father told me I was. Treated me like his family, and that’s the way I’d come to think of him. I’d respected him, or really, maybe I’d just wanted to be like him. At the beginning, it was all good. I was already in thick when it started to become clear that he ran this underground shit. Drugs. Prostitution. Gambling. Fighting, which looking back now, I know that’s why he’d singled me out. What he’d wanted me for. He’d seen that potential in me.”

“Like Fight Club?”

A rough chuckle scraped free. “If you mean a bunch of assholes beating the shit out of each other in a basement, then yeah. But it was different. Money was on the line. It was all bred of greed. It was ugly, Tessa. Dirty.”

She gulped. “People got hurt.”

“Yeah.” The word was thick.

“Like…how bad?”

“Bad.”

Her fingers were back to running over that word. “Have you…killed someone?”

I could barely breathe, and I shifted, pushing out the confession toward the ceiling, “I have.”

A tremulous sound quivered from her lips, but this girl didn’t seem swayed. She just shifted onto her elbow, her brow twisted as her palm slid up to my cheek. “On purpose?”

I blinked through the sordid memories. “Sometimes you’re pushed against a wall so hard you have no choice but to fight back.”

She nodded like she understood. “You can’t blame yourself for that.”

My hand came to cover hers, and I met the intensity of her stare. “The only thing I feel guilty about is that I don’t regret it.”

“We all do what we have to in order to survive. I see it, Milo. It was survival.”

I clung to her hand as the hatred ran hot. “Working for Stefan was a trap.”

I needed her to understand what was on the line.

“I’d finally gotten out of that life, even though Stefan didn’t want to let me go. I didn’t hear from him for years, so I’d believed he was dead,” I continued. “Most likely chained and floating at the bottom of the ocean somewhere because that was the kind of life he led.”

My throat burned as I forced out the dread. “But I’m certain it was him who had me attacked. Had my windshield bashed in.”

Terror blanched through her defined features, though she tried to keep it under wraps. “What does he want?”

“I don’t know. Money. Revenge. To show me he owned me all along. We’d been close… I viewed him as a father figure at one time. He’d warned me I could never walk away from him…and when I did…”

Grief clamped off the confession, unable to let the words free.

I needed to tell her.

Shit, I needed to tell her.

But I couldn’t force it around the sickness that clawed through me, and instead, I was clinging tight to Tessa as I made a promise to her and myself. “I’m going to end it this time. He won’t get near you or my kids. Whatever it takes. Do you understand?”

She seemed to hear the threat in my words, and she was trembling when she shifted up higher so she was close to laying on top of me. Her pale skin was bare and sprinkled with that wash of freckles, her face so fuckin’ gorgeous as she gazed down at me.

She stole the breath right out of my lungs.

“I understand,” she promised.

My hand slipped up her back and over her shoulder so I could tuck her closer.

“This could get ugly,” I warned around the lump that sat like a stone in my throat.

She went to fluttering those fingertips over my face, red hair raining around her.

“It’s already ugly, Milo, and you’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

My head shook. “I’m afraid there’s not a whole lot of beauty here, Tessa.”

“You’re wrong. You are my beauty.” She slipped her fingers through my beard.

Soothing.

Encouraging.

“You are the one who filled up a place inside me that I never thought would be filled. You were there for me when I needed the support after I walked away from Karl. Terrified. But you helped me see through it that I needed to believe in myself. That I deserved more. And you’ve shown me more, Milo. Even when you were terrified to do it, you showed me what it was like to be cherished, just in the way you looked at me.”

Her fingers raked and her voice softened.

“In the way you were there for me. In the way you touched me.”

She shifted until she was fully hovering over me, all that red hair around her angel face. “You are your children’s beauty. Their hope. Where their hearts belong. And you have become mine, too.”

Her tongue stroked across her lips. “And no matter what you’ve done, Milo, you deserve redemption. Forgiveness. You deserve to be loved.”

You’ve got love, Dad.

Remy’s little voice filtered through my mind.

That feeling lifted and swelled.

Wasn’t sure I even wanted to fight it any longer. My fingers played through her hair as those blue eyes devoured me.

Pulled me closer.

Sucked me under.

“Never thought I’d see the sun rising again. Thought I’d live in this darkened eternity for the rest of my life,” I murmured.

She let go of an affected giggle, though her head tipped to the side in question.

The pad of my thumb ran the contour of her sharp jaw. “You are the light, Tessa. The warmth when every part of me had gone cold.”

Affection poured from her features, so sweet that my chest was going tight, and my heart was slugging out of time.

“And you sparked to life something inside me that I’ve never felt before,” she whispered. “I know what I really want for the first time.”

“And what is it you want?”

“I want to fight for my happiness. I want to keep building the Hope to Hands foundation and expand it so we can help more people. People like my brother who need long-term care. I want to respect myself for who I am and cherish the parts I’m still working on. I want a family so I can share this love that burns inside me. And I want my person to share it with.”

“Your person, huh?” It was gruff.

She smiled, her shoulder coming up to her ear. “Maybe.”

“Do I know this guy?” I teased.

“Well, he’s big and burly and kind of gruff and crazy hot and good in bed.”

“Really?”

“Really,” she drew out.

“Well, I think he might have found his person, too.” My voice was thick, cracking on the truth. I forced down the traces of guilt that kept trying to erupt.

Redness flushed her cheeks, and she trailed her fingertip down my neck. “We make a really great team, don’t we?”

“Yeah, we do.” I brushed a lock of hair from her eyes. “Tell me about your brother. About your life before I knew you.”

Pained devotion moved through her expression, and her voice went soft.

Held down by old sorrow.

“When my parents died, it was this giant shock. Like how the hell were my parents just gone, you know?” Her brow dented as she blinked.

Hated taking her back to that time, but I needed to understand her, too. Get her the way she got me.

“I was devastated, Milo. Crushed and scared and lost. Everything I knew no longer existed. Our grandparents had already passed, and the only sibling either of my parents had was my dad’s brother, and he definitely didn’t want anything to do with two teenagers who’d been orphaned.”

My thumb traced along the sharp edge of her chin. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Her shoulder barely hitched. “Me, too.”

“So, what happened?”

“We basically had two options. Either I live with Bobby and have a social worker come in and check that I was in a safe environment, being cared for, or go into foster care. Bobby was nineteen, free to live his life. But for my brother? There was no consideration. No other choice to make.”

She inhaled a shaky breath. “Luckily, Hope to Hands was able to help us at the very beginning, and Eden’s father, Gary, was there a lot, making sure we were okay. He’d even offered for both of us to live with him until we got things sorted out. But Bobby? He chose to take care of me. He stepped up and did everything he had to in order to provide for us. He worked so hard, every day, to give us the best life he could.”

Air wheezed from her nose, and sadness clouded the blue of her eyes.

“I lived with him until I graduated high school and left for college.” She dipped her gaze as she murmured, “You know he paid for that, too?”

My hand ran up her back, encouraging her to continue, promising to hold her burdens, just as she’d done with mine.

“He put his entire life on hold for me, so when he had his accident, there was no way I’d consider a different option, either. I didn’t care what it cost.” Her head shook as she stared at me, begging me to understand what it’d meant to her.

I threaded my fingers in her hair. “He sounds awesome.”

She choked over the affection. “So awesome. I wish you could have known him.”

“What happened to him?” I hedged, heart aching at the suffering she’d gone through.

Sorrow wrapped her whole, and for a beat, she glanced away before she returned her attention to me. “Bobby was this super outdoorsy guy. He was always wanting me to go camping with him. Explore the wilderness.”

Tears brimmed in her eyes. “He’d gone hiking by himself and fell down a ravine. Someone found him the next morning. They estimated he’d been lying out there for at least fourteen hours. Alone. I just pray he wasn’t in pain, that he wasn’t afraid, that he didn’t blame me for abandoning him.”

Agony clotted the words as she released them.

Fuck.

I wished for a way to change it for her.

But I guessed that’s what caring about someone did.

It made you want to erase their pain.

Soothe their sorrow.

Even when you had no goddamn control other than to be there for them.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Little Dove.”

She sniffled. “I wish I would have somehow gone with him that day. He’d finally given up on even asking me, since I usually had other plans. Every weekend, there was either some party or friends I wanted to hang out with. I always had some dumb excuse not to go. Some reason more important than spending time with him.”

Life had a way of showing us what was important when we no longer had the choice, didn’t it?

“He’d teased me that I was too much of a girly girl who didn’t want to get her hair messed up.” Regret tipped one side of her face into a broken smile.

A tender grin took to my mouth, words a soft tease meant to hold her up. “You are kind of a girly girl.”

She choked on an affected laugh. “Hey, cute shoes speak to my soul. Don’t judge me.”

“Never. Kinda partial to those shoes myself, if I’m being honest.”

“Have you been fantasizing about me in my heels, Milo Hendricks?” Lightness spun through the sorrow, and she laughed a disbelieving sound as she twisted so she could glance at the heels she still wore.

“Can you blame me?” My voice turned needy.

“Um, no, have you seen me? I’m a total catch.”

“Have I seen you? I can’t look away, Little Dove.”

Tessa smiled this slow smile that warmed and inflamed.

Everything about her right and good.

She bit down on her bottom lip, adoration pouring out, and she climbed up to straddle me.

“Shit, baby.”

My hands shot to her waist, the girl completely bare, her small tits perfect and round, her pebbled nipples the same color as her hair.

All that pale skin was on display.

A gorgeous goddess.

My ruin or my salvation.

“I love you,” she murmured.

Salvation.

Definitely my salvation.

“You sore, Little Dove?” It came out gruff with desire.

She canted me a sly grin, greed lighting in her eyes. “Not sore enough.”

A groan held deep in my throat, and I gripped her by the hair.

“You’re about to be.”