Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

35. Milo

THIRTY-FIVE

MILO

I eased the SUV down the winding gravel drive toward the cabin tucked deep in the woods, where it waited for us like the sanctuary Autumn and I had dreamed it would be.

Old sorrow whispered through my spirit, her voice and every promise I had made trying to get me in a stranglehold.

I fought it.

Fought the welling of guilt.

Fought the shame that pushed up from my conscience to remind me of what I’d done.

I couldn’t go there right then. Not when Scout was chattering from the back seat, over-eager as he tried to push against his booster seat straps so he could see out the window. “Oh, wow, is this almost it? I can’t wait, Dad! I’ve been wondering where you live. I bet it’s awesome.”

That panged, too.

The truth that neither of my kids really knew that much about me other than the little glimpse they got on Sunday afternoons, but I prayed it was enough.

Prayed they knew the fullness of my devotion.

Prayed Remy could feel it rushing toward her like an embrace as I glanced at her through the mirror.

She sat quietly.

Nervously.

Like she wasn’t quite sure of her place.

I couldn’t wait to prove to her that her place was right here. This was where she belonged.

“Yep, we’re almost there,” I promised as we rounded the last turn, and Tessa sent me an encouraging smile as she reached over and squeezed my forearm, like she’d heard every worry that had whirled through my mind on the trip over.

Funny how I’d been fighting for this moment for years, and now that it was here, I felt unprepared. All of it coming at me at once and without warning.

But like Tessa had promised, we had this .

I came to a stop in front of the cabin, and Scout had himself unbuckled in a second flat and was standing on the seat and holding onto the back of Tessa’s headrest so he could peer out the windshield.

“Oh, cool! Are we going camping?”

A low chuckle got free. “This looks like camping to you, huh?”

“It’s like the great outdoors, Dad.”

Love rumbled through my being, and I shifted so I could touch his chin. “This is our house, Scout.”

I made sure to make it clear that it was ours .

They might not have been living within the cabin walls, but they inhabited every board, every plank, every swipe of paint.

Most of all, they lived in the foundation.

“I like it,” he said, so casual, a hike of his shoulders like it was no big deal, before he scrambled over to toss open his door.

He hopped out.

A tender smile edged Tessa’s mouth, and those bottomless eyes lulled and lapped.

Offering comfort.

Tessa recognized this was huge. Hell, I was pretty sure she could physically feel that my insides were absolutely shaking.

She touched my arm again before she hopped from the SUV to follow Scout, who was already racing for the porch steps and shouting, “I can’t even wait to see inside.”

Remy didn’t move.

She just sat there.

Held hostage by her worry.

I shut off the engine and slowly climbed out, fighting the thickness in my throat, hating with all of me that she might be scared to come here.

I opened her door, and I swore I sensed her little spirit wobble, this sweet, sweet child who felt things so deeply.

She kept staring at her fingers she twisted on her lap.

“Are you okay, Remy Girl?” The words were shards, scraping through the disorder.

She finally peeked over at me. “My stomach hurts a little bit.”

“Because you’re nervous?”

Warily, she nodded.

“Do you remember it here?” Could barely choke it out.

She wavered and hesitated, chewing her lip before she whispered, “A little. I feel like it looked different.”

She remembered the trailer.

Fuck.

Had to grit my teeth to let her continue.

“And I remember Mom sometimes, and her eyes and the way she used to sing to me, but mostly, I remember the sirens.”

Grief stalled my heart before it started racing for a way to meet with my daughter’s.

To find a way to mend the memories when there was no fucking way to correct them.

“Come here, sweetheart.”

She slid from her seat and onto her feet, and I knelt in front of her and pulled her into my arms. I was probably hugging her too tight, but I couldn’t let go. I had to support her as she gave voice to the fears she’d likely been hiding all these years.

God, I wished that I’d always been there to hold her through them.

I could only imagine what Paula had told her.

“I’m so sorry that’s the main thing you remember about this place because it’s an awful, terrible memory,” I told her, my voice drawn low in the strain. In the promise. “But I want you to know that you used to love it here, Remy. You loved this land. You used to run and play and fill this place with so much happiness. It was my favorite place in the world because it was ours. I’m not sure if you remember that part, but know that I do, and if you want to ask me about those memories or talk to me about absolutely anything, I am right here.”

I pulled back so I could meet those trusting brown eyes. “I’m right here, Remy. But if you want to go back to your grandma and grandpa’s, I understand that, too. I support you, whatever you need to make you feel safe.”

Panic blazed through her expression, and she threw her arms around my neck, her voice close to frantic. “No, Dad. I’m not scared of being here. I’ve wanted to come here for a really long time. But I’m scared that maybe I’ll want to stay here always, and I won’t get to.”

My chest clutched with devotion, and I held her close, tight to the thunder that raged. “I promise you, I am doing everything I can to make that happen. Do you understand?”

She nodded against my neck, and I could feel her tears seeping onto my shirt. “I know, Dad. I know you want us here. Because you have love.”

My arms tightened, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I relished this moment. “I do, Remy, I have love. I have love because you showed me I deserve it. I have love because of your brother. I have love because of Tessa.”

We stayed in that embrace for the longest time before Remy mumbled, “Is it okay if I still miss Mom?”

Agony sliced me in two, and I pulled back so I could take hold of the sides of her shoulders. I squeezed in emphasis. “You’re always going to miss your mom, Remy. Always, and that’s okay. You should never be ashamed of it or feel like you’re doing something wrong. I will always miss her, too. But we also can love the people who come into our lives after, and we don’t have to be ashamed of that, either.”

A rock lodged itself in my throat.

Fuck.

I needed it to be true.

Needed Autumn to forgive me.

“Do you understand the difference?”

“I think so.”

Tears tracked down her face, and I wiped them with my thumb. “Would you do something for me, Remy?”

She gave a furious nod.

“Whenever you start to question it, I want you to talk to me. You and I can remind each other that we have love. That we deserve it. That no one is allowed to take that away from us. Okay?”

She nodded again. “Okay.”

Sniffling, I straightened and held out my hand. “Are you ready to go inside?”

Her smile was small and perfect and everything that was this intuitive, amazing child. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

We climbed the porch steps and headed in through the door.

We stepped inside to the stampede of footsteps that pounded the floor.

Scout appeared at the head of the hallway that led to their room, so much joy and excitement on his face it nearly dropped me to my knees. “Oh my gosh, you’re not even gonna believe it, Remy. We got our own room and our own tree fort and our own lake and everything. I think we really are camping.”

Remy peeked up at me like she was telling me she wasn’t surprised that they did have their own room.

Maybe my kids really did know me, after all.

Tessa followed behind Scout, fighting laughter that played all over her face as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the edge of the entryway.

“He’s already gone through every room to check things out. Rocket power speed, right?”

She ruffled a hand through his hair.

“It’s the only speed I got, my Tessa.”

Affection soared as high as my kid.

It blistered between me and Tessa.

The connection strong.

Bold.

Unbreakable.

“You want to check it out, Remy, before I go get your things?” I asked.

“Can Tessa show me?”

I looked back at Tessa, my heart hammering at my ribs, wondering how the fuck I got so lucky. “Sure.”

“Remy-T Wreckers back together at last,” Tessa sang as she stretched out her hand. My daughter took it, giggling as she did.

And I realized then I’d totally forgotten what it felt like to have the ground sit solid beneath my feet.

Scout zoomed out in front of them so he could get to their room first. “Wait ’til you see it, Remy!”

With the emotion close to locking up my throat, I slipped back outside and down the porch steps. I leaned against the side of the SUV, unable to catch my breath through the rush of bliss.

Inhaling deeply, I dug my phone out, dialed the number, and pressed it to my ear. My mom answered on the first ring. “Milo. Aren’t you supposed to be at your visitation right now? Did something happen?”

She tried to keep the tremor from her words.

I gulped around the joy. “Yeah, something happened…the kids are here.”

“What do you think we should have for dinner?” Tessa asked as she searched through the fridge.

“Pizza!” Scout shouted from behind her.

“Pizza?” She grinned at him from over her shoulder.

“Um, yes, pizza. Doncha know you can’t have a party without pizza, and my dad said this is a party.”

Tessa slanted me a grin, affection riding on her mouth before she looked back at Scout. “Well, then, pizza it is.”

“I like her, Dad,” he told me, so nonchalant from where he was on his knees on the living room rug, playing with a bunch of cars that had been sitting on his shelf waiting for him.

“Yeah, Scout, I like her, too.”

Tenderness danced around her being, and I couldn’t do anything but wrap my arms around her from behind. I hooked my chin over her shoulder and murmured at her cheek, “Thank you, Little Dove.”

“Anytime, fiancé.” She grinned back at me.

Shit.

I liked the sound of that.

The truth that rang behind it.

I held her for a second and relished in what we’d been given.

Remy almost blushed from where she sat at one of the stools, but her smile was soft and real, and, God, I didn’t think I’d ever been happier than right then.

Everyone’s attention snapped to the door when it opened, and my mom was suddenly standing there, her breaths shallow and energy frenetic.

Her gaze swept over the room, her throat bobbing as she took it in, like she was working through her disbelief.

Her hand went to her chest as a rush of tears fell down her cheeks. “Oh my God.”

I pulled away from Tessa and moved toward her, stretching my hands out for both my kids to take. Remy slipped off the stool, and Scout came bounding over, and I led them toward the door.

“Hi. I remember you. You’re my other grandma, right?” Scout’s head tilted to the side.

My mother hadn’t seen them for two years, and I highly doubted Scout remembered her much at all. His memories were the pictures I constantly showed him and the stories I told. The way I shared her love, brought them the notes and presents she had for them.

Paula made sure to make my mother feel as unwelcomed as possible. Tainted our visits with her venom. Took it to the place where my mother believed she was only making things worse for my children, to the place where she worried she was stealing more joy than giving it, so she’d stopped coming.

It was no wonder my mom dropped to her knees.

“Hi.” It was a wheeze from her soul.

Adoration.

Hope.

Remy reached out and took her hand, the child covering my mother in all her goodness. “Hi, Grandma.”

My mother squeezed back, and the tears wouldn’t stop falling from her eyes. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you.”

Scout grinned and patted her face. “Well, that’s really good because I’m happy to see you, too.”

It was strange when the walls of your home had echoed with vacancy for so long, and it was suddenly bursting with life.

Overcome with it.

The scent of pizza sauce and basil overwhelmed the air, and giggles and laughter rang through the room.

My mother sat on the floor with Scout on her lap as he read us one of the books she’d left for him on his shelf.

She’d added to them each year, making sure they were age appropriate, the same way as she’d done for Remy.

She wanted them to know she was always thinking of them. That they never strayed far from her thoughts. That her love would forever surpass this tormented time that had stretched too long between us.

No more.

My heart squeezed tight as I tossed a grin down at Remy, who sat with her shoulder pressed to mine. We were on the floor with our backs leaned against the couch.

“The end!” Scout beamed when he finished the book that was mostly pictures but with a few words sprinkled in.

“Wow, that was really incredible, Scout,” my mom told him.

“I’m a great reader, you know. You gotta know a lot of stuff if you’re going to be an astronaut, so I’ve been learning a lot and a lot.”

“That’s right, my little Rocketman,” Tessa shouted from where she was finishing the pizza. She’d insisted we all go hang out while she prepared it. Told me to take the time with my kids before she’d pecked a kiss to my lips to seal the command.

“What do you want to be when you grow up, Remy?” my mom asked softly, being sure to include Remy in the conversation.

Remy hiked a knobby shoulder, a bit of shyness weaving into her demeanor. “I don’t know...maybe a writer…but my grandma Paula said it would be better if I were realistic.”

“Dreamin’s for fools,” Scout tossed out, his voice raised, and he giggled because he hadn’t figured out yet that the bullshit Paula spewed wasn’t funny.

Anger curled in my guts, and I had to keep from spitting the words as I took Remy’s hand. “You chase your dreams, Remy. Work hard at them, whatever they are. And they’ll probably change some as you get older, and that’s okay, just as long as you listen to your heart and those dreams make you happy.”

My daughter looked up at me with a timid smile on her face. “I’m happy here, Dad.”

I gulped around her admission, and I touched her chin. “I’m happy with you here, too.”

The silence that wrapped around us was both fierce and free. The intensity ripping between my mother, Tessa, and me a torrent of devotion.

The determination to bring these kids home permanently.

I just prayed I could do it right.

But I had to be the one to ensure it was safe.

Put an end to this bastard’s threat.

Guarantee that he could never taint this beauty again.