Redemption Hills: The Complete Collection

41. Tessa

FORTY-ONE

TESSA

I guessed I was no stranger to grief. To the way everything felt excruciatingly heavy.

Suffocating.

Oppressive.

Your breaths so strained it was a labor to draw them into your aching lungs.

All while you were just…hollow.

Carved out.

Gutted.

Nothing inside.

Maybe I knew the feeling, but I was sure I’d never felt it so distinctly as right then.

Chained, yet floating away.

Wandering through the desolation with no direction.

No sight.

Staring blankly through the large plate glass window that overlooked Eden’s lush backyard. Her lawn was manicured, and the hedges trimmed, and she had at least a gazillion pots overflowing with flowers on the patio and filling the planters that lined the fence.

An oasis cradled by the forest beyond.

Beautiful.

But I wasn’t sure anything would ever feel truly beautiful again.

Eden set a cup of coffee in front of me, where I sat at the breakfast nook under the window. Easing back, she wrapped her arms around me from behind, hugging me so tight that my aching chest squeezed.

“I am so sorry, Tessa. God, I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t believe this happened.” Forcing the words through the disorder felt impossible, the thought too thin, too vague.

But I couldn’t…I couldn’t believe it.

Bobby was gone.

Gone.

Without reason or warning. The small parts of him that had still remained ripped away.

And in the middle of it, Milo had walked.

Left me.

Without reason or warning, either.

Tears ran hot down my face, but I didn’t have the strength to wipe them, the mess dripping off my chin onto the pajama shirt Eden had given me when she and Trent had brought me back here at close to four o’clock this morning.

Hours had been spent with Bobby before the coroner had come. When they’d taken him away, the only thing I could do was wander the parking lot, refusing to get in the car with Trent and Eden.

I’d been lost.

Dazed.

Numb.

Then a rush of anger had hit me so hard I’d buckled in two, and I’d demanded Trent and Eden drive me to Milo’s place so I could find out how he could just leave me.

I’d needed him. Needed him to be there with me during one of the most painful times of my life.

Agony carved through my spirit.

He promised me.

Promised.

I didn’t understand.

Didn’t understand how the man who was supposed to be my person had abandoned me, too.

I choked over a sob, and Eden squeezed me tighter. “It’s okay…let it out. Let it out, Tessa.”

I clutched at her hands where they were locked around me.

“I don’t understand. How could Bobby just…die? He was fine. I saw him two days ago, and he was fine.” My voice croaked with the confusion as another sob erupted.

“I know. I don’t understand, either. But they’ll get answers for you. I promise.”

My nod was erratic. “I’m so sad, Eden.”

She just kept holding me, my friend who had always been there for me, the one who’d never let me down, the one who loved my crazy and supported my neurosis and never judged me for being myself.

“I’m so sad, too,” she murmured with her cheek pressed to mine.

“And Milo. How could he be such a selfish, horrible jerk? I thought he was the one, Eden. My Ace. The one who would always be there. Stand by me and hold me up. Isn’t that what love is supposed to be about?”

I could feel her bewilderment, her uncertainty, and she peeled herself away and pulled a chair close so she was facing me. “I am not making excuses for him, Tessa, because I’m really pissed, too. That was a giant dick move, but there was something going on with him last night. I heard it in his voice when he sent out the SOS call to me, and he could barely stand when he came stumbling out of the building. Trent tried to talk to him, but he shrugged him off, got in his car, and took off.”

“But why?”

He was supposed to be there for me.

Through thick and thin.

Through everything.

Even when it was hard or it hurt.

“I don’t know, sweetheart.”

She handed me a tissue that I wadded up and pressed to my nose. “I think I need to lie down.”

Eden squeezed my hand. “You do whatever you need. I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m your ride or die, remember?”

I nodded through the tears.

“The best one I could ask for.”

She hugged me fiercely before I stood and fumbled my way back upstairs to the room that she’d always told me was mine if I ever needed it. If I needed a safe place to stay.

I’d never wanted to be a burden, not when she had two children, a family, but I’d honestly had nowhere else to turn last night. Nowhere else to go.

I’d truly, completely lost it all.

I sank down onto the side of the bed.

Lost.

Disoriented.

Tortured.

My gaze landed where I’d set the little round locket on the nightstand last night. The one Bobby had forever kept clutched in his hand. I reached for it, pressed it to my lips, and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Bobby. I’m so sorry I let you down. How didn’t I know you were sick? That something was wrong? God.”

Tears blurred my sight, and I ran the back of my hand frantically over my face like it could clear the haze, and I opened the locket to the four little pictures of our family inside.

My brother who’d tried to keep me close when he’d been so far away.

“Why did you have to go?”

My mouth kept tweaking at the side as I stared at the images.

The memories so good, but when they were gone, the pain was so great.

A frown curled my brow when I realized each of the pictures was indented.

Squinting, I tried to make them out, realizing they were numbers inscribed on the back.

My hands started shaking when I carefully peeled one from its setting, confusion clouding my senses as I turned it over and saw the individual number written on it.

I repeated it with the other three pictures. Each had a different number.

My stomach swooped in awareness.

The safe.

The safe I’d found in his closet. I’d never been able to open it, so I’d put it in the storage locker with the rest of his things without ever knowing what was inside.

Oh my gosh, I might be able to get into it.

It was weird to suddenly blaze with hope in the middle of this relentless grief, but it was there, the excitement of finding another piece of Bobby.

Frantic, I rushed to change into a pair of jeans and a tee that I’d left here after a drunken night.

I shoved my feet into the same heels I’d had on last night, swiping the tears from my face as I pressed the pictures back into the locket and put it into my pocket.

I scrambled downstairs, my breaths rapid as I raced into the kitchen where Eden was feeding Baby Kate in her highchair. “I need to borrow your car.”

Surprise twisted her face. There was no chance she didn’t notice the change in my demeanor.

This hysteria that streaked through my veins.

I didn’t know why. I just knew I had to get there. To see what was inside.

What if Bobby had left me a message, something important, something that he would want me to know?

“Are you sure? Give me one second, and I can drive you.”

“No, I’ll be right back. I just need to go grab something.”

“Tessa.” Worry filled my name.

I forced a bright smile, which probably made me look like a lunatic since my hair was a disaster and my face was stained with tears. “I’m good. I promise. I’ll be right back. Besides, you told me whatever I need, remember?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Someone knows how to twist my arm, doesn’t she?”

I choked over the affection as I snagged her keys from the counter. “It’s only because you love me.”

Everything about her softened. “Mad, mad love.”

Baby Kate squealed and giggled, a balm to those vacant places that felt so raw and abraded.

I blew them both a kiss. “Mad, mad love.”

Then I turned and ran into their garage, punched the button to lift it, and I was flying down the road in Eden’s Mercedes.

Taking deep breaths to steady myself.

Completely entrenched in this mission.

I punched in the code to open the security gate of the storage facility. It swung open, and I took the fourth turn into the aisle where Bobby’s locker was located. I parked in front of it, jumped out, and immediately started spinning the padlock combo. When it gave, I unhooked it and rolled open the metal door.

Dust billowed out, curling and dancing through the rays of sunlight from the absolute stillness that echoed from inside.

I choked over the pain that stabbed me in the stomach.

He was gone.

He was gone.

I brushed away the fresh round of tears and moved directly for the little safe that was on top of his old dresser. I pulled out the locket and removed the pictures again, turning them upside down.

It took me only a second of shuffling them around to realize it was my birthdate.

0921.

I punched in the code, and the safe buzzed before the latch gave, and I rushed to open it.

Disappointment hit me hard when I found it was empty.

Except…it wasn’t.

There was a pocket on the right side, and I dug into it to find one of those tiny manila envelopes. I tore it open and dumped its contents into my palm.

It was one of those old, tiny flash drives.

A disorder blustered through my being.

This sense coming on that made bile lift in my throat.

The truth that something was…off.

Wrong.

My brother hadn’t been sick.

He was fine.

I swiped my hand over my face, trying to process, to stop my mind from racing toward assumptions.

To keep from diving into paranoia.

I gathered up the pictures and stuffed everything into my pocket, quick to close the locker door and jump back into Eden’s car. I started it and raced back to her place.

“Do you have an old laptop around here?” I called as I tossed open the garage door and jogged back into her kitchen where she was giving Gage a snack.

“In Dad’s office. He’s got a billion,” Gage told me from around a mouthful of apple and cheese.

“Thanks, buddy.”

“You know I got your back, Auntie Tessa.”

Eden frowned, her worry thick. “What’s going on?”

“I just found something of Bobby’s I want to take a look at.”

Except, I didn’t.

I absolutely didn’t.

Because on the zip drive was video after video of Bobby in a ring.

Dreary darkness all around. Eclipsing goodness and everything that was right.

My brother fighting.

Being beaten to a bloody pulp.

Him doing it in return.

And the last…the last demolished my shattered heart.

Because Milo was standing over his beaten body, where Bobby lay in a pool of blood, his leg bent at an odd angle. Voices curled through the air, demanding that he end him.

Right before the video cut out.