Rejected and Regretted (Ashen Wolves #1)

16

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A V R I L

“You sure you’re not hurt?” Koen asked me for the hundredth time as he poured me a cup of tea. “If you’d rather avoid the crowded hospital, I could get a doctor here to check on you.”

Once the battle ended, he brought me straight to the office. His insistence would have annoyed me already, if I wasn’t preparing myself for the interrogation I was sure was coming. I knew there was a lot I needed to explain, and I had to be completely focused in order to sound convincing.

“I appreciate your concern, Alpha Koen, but there’s no need. As you can see, I have no wounds or bruises.” I gestured towards my body with my hands, remaining seated in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Irritatingly enough, he decided to remain standing, his penetrating gaze fixed on me. “I got lucky,” I continued, avoiding direct eye contact and keeping my head low. “The other wolves probably realized that I was an omega, thus not a threat. They must’ve preferred to go for the skilled warriors first.”

“Of course,” he replied, though I could sense a hint of uncertainty in his voice. Off to a great start.

Clearing my throat, I decided to go straight to the point. “Why did you want to see me, Alpha Koen?”

“Koen,” he corrected. “Just Koen is fine.” For the first time, I glanced up at him. Aware of my confusion, he clarified. “It doesn’t seem right for you to continue to address me by my title. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

I had to do a double take. Indeed, I had noticed a certain discomfort from him every time I used his rank, especially over the past few days, but I didn’t exactly know why. Was he for real? I thought our ‘friendship’ was merely a fa?ade, one of his attempts to earn my trust faster. Did it really bother him that I wasn’t more casual with him?

Whatever, I huffed internally. Now wasn't the time to get distracted with his puzzles. It was best to just do as he said. I could try to figure out his intentions later.

After I gave him a short nod, he finally answered me. “I was hoping you’d tell me how you ended up in the middle of the fight.”

“We were ambushed before we made it to the bunker,” I explained, trying not to let my surprise show. I had expected him to immediately call out my wolf’s appearance. Nevertheless, this was an easier question to answer. “The enemies had the numbers. I panicked and shifted so I could run faster while your sentinels held them off. I profusely apologize for leaving them behind.”

“It was their duty to protect you, not the other way around,” he observed, and I saw flames afire in his eyes briefly. Was he angry at his men for failing their mission? “You did good. I’m glad you got away safely and wasn’t harmed while hell broke loose.”

“I mindlinked Theo and Elijah as soon as I started running. They rushed to my encounter to ensure my safety,” I added.

A blend of emotion I couldn’t quite figure out permeated his features as he shared, “I shall thank them later.”

Long silence followed. At last, Koen looked away, leaning back against the wall, but he appeared far from relaxed. Judging by his thoughtful expression, there was something on his mind. Since he didn’t dismiss me either, it was obvious he wasn’t done with me.

Either way, I decided to push him, “Is there anything else you need me for?”

In an instant, his attention snapped back to me. I locked eyes with him, keeping a carefully neutral face, aiming to convey absolute transparency. I had to show that I had nothing to hide. Only the truth , I reminded myself, which was why I had to become the best liar in the world.

“Yes,” he sighed, finally pulling out his chair to stay face to face with me. Arms crossed over the desk, he leaned forward. “Avril, the reason I brought you here was Kea.”

I blinked, tilting my head to the side, feigning innocence. “What about her?”

“She looks…different from how I remembered her.”

Koen seemed confused, unsure of how to describe what he had seen. I, on the other hand, had been preparing myself for this. It was showtime.

“Forgive me, but I barely stayed at Whispering Hills for twenty-four hours after my connection with Kea was established. You saw her once for a few seconds at best, and it’s been five years,” I pointed out, playing my first card - reshaping his blurry memory. “Do you even remember what she looked like?”

His eyes glowed intensely as he asserted, “Vividly.” After a brief pause, he proceeded, “She was small, even for an omega. Her paws were adorably large for her size, just like her ears. Instead of obsidian gray, her coat was silvery, though it still carries the same luminescence akin to the moonlight. She used to be delicately slim, but seems to have gained a lot of muscle.”

Color me flabbergasted - that I did not foresee at all. This time, it wasn’t impossible to conceal my real emotions. I was pretty sure my shock was written all over my face. Honestly, I would go as far as to say my former mate had been more capable of painting a clearer picture of what my wolf looked like when I first met her than I ever would.

I expected Koen to have a vague memory of my animal form at best. Yet, it was as if he had a picture of her pinned to his headboard that he stared at every night before falling asleep. How could he remember what she looked like so clearly?

“He’s trying to impress you,” Kea warned me. “And you’re falling for it.”

Although she, too, seemed taken aback, I knew she was right. It didn’t matter how Koen managed to recall my wolf’s initial appearance, only that he could. Straightening my posture, I grasped my focus again, collecting myself. I was ready to play the ace up my sleeve.

Back when I was planning my trip to Whispering Hills alongside my team, I prepared as best as I could to keep my identity hidden. Aware that my former home had never been a peaceful pack, having grown up here and witnessed several attacks, I knew there was a possibility my wolf would need to come out at some point during my stay. Therefore, I made sure to come up with a believable excuse for her looks to have changed so drastically over the past few years and why she, an omega wolf, appeared abnormally big.

“I’m sorry about being defensive about it. To be honest, I’m a little embarrassed to talk about it, but since you deserve an explanation…” I sighed, feigning reluctance before continuing. “When I arrived at Azure Smoke, they were also concerned about my wolf’s appearance shifting as the seasons passed. They called a shaman to study my case, who concluded that Kea wasn’t full grown when she came out for the first time. She kept maturing and changing until I turned twenty. It’s a rare event, but when it happens-”

“It’s common for the wolf to grow more than it should, usually surpassing others of the same rank,” Koen concluded.

As an alpha, he had likely studied rare occurrences in the werewolf world to be prepared to address them should they arise during his journey as a leader. While my situation wasn't exactly what I had described, it bore enough similarity to pass as truth.

When werewolves are forced to shift before turning eighteen, or in the rare event they're paired with teenage wolves, it's common for their features to undergo changes as they mature, akin to the growth seen in dogs. Puppies of larger breeds often go through significant transformations before settling into their final adult appearance. Sometimes, even the color and texture of their fur can change drastically.

Still, the look on his face let me know he wasn’t satisfied yet. “That explains the first part, but not how she gained muscle, especially when you said you don’t train.”

“I don’t do combat training, but I do work out regularly,” I countered. “As you know, the changes to a shifter’s physique are apparent in both human and wolf forms. I assumed you would have already noticed them.”

Relaxing against his chair, he observed, “Regrettably, I haven’t had a chance to see much of your body in human form.”

As his words struck me, I was momentarily stunned, my mind struggling to process what he had just said. Shock rippled through me, freezing me in place as my anger simmered beneath the surface, momentarily overshadowed by disbelief. It was good to keep me from slapping him, because an omega would never dare to stand up for herself like that. But, beneath the storm of emotions, the most unsettling feeling was the heat that ignited within me, rising to my cheeks and painting them red.

Did Koen just make me blush? For fuck’s sake, what was wrong with me?

Goddess, compose yourself, Avril! I quickly shifted my gaze to the floor, eager to break away from his penetrating stare. My mind had wandered off, but that must not have been what he meant. He was probably simply pointing out that he hadn’t noticed my muscles because I insisted on wearing trousers and loose, long-sleeved shirts to keep my mark hidden.

Nonetheless, the short chuckle he released at my reaction made me second guess his intentions.

“Thank you for your honesty and patience, Avril,” Koen went on as if nothing had happened. “I apologize for the questioning. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable; I was genuinely curious about Kea. She blossomed beautifully, by the way.” This time, he barely gave me time to process his unexpected compliment before continuing, “Oh, and I finally got to see the strength of the Azure Smoke warriors in action today. It definitely made me even more interested in the alliance you proposed.”

Smooth change of subject, huh? Well, in a way, at least it reminded me of his real interest in me. It also explained his uncalled for flattery.

“I’m glad to hear.” I faked a smile. “But I’m afraid I need a little more time to make up my mind about Whispering Hills, and whether or not you are the right allies to my alpha.”

Koen’s face fell. At first, I assumed it was merely frustration. However, the longer I studied his expression, the more it seemed like his disappointment was not due to me delaying a good deal for him.

“Of course. I understand.” He mirrored my expression, though he couldn’t keep his faint smile for long. Rising from his seat, he flashed me one last look as he headed to the door. “Well, I will not keep you any longer. Thank you for your time, Avril.”

And just like that, he was gone, leaving me utterly confused. What had just happened? Just when I thought I had him figured out, he reminded me that, for the love of the Goddess, I could not decipher the enigma that he was.

Koen was a charade, and the longer I stayed around him, the more I found myself drawn to his mystery.