Relentless Sinner

Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Gabriella

I walk down the hospital hallway savoring the small taste of freedom invigorating my being. It gives me a momentary break from the trouble surrounding my mind.

I can’t believe I’m actually here.

I woke earlier to Eve telling me to get ready because Jaxon had agreed to my request to work at the hospital. I was stunned and relieved in equal parts.

After the way he left yesterday, I wasn’t sure what to think. He’d said we’d have a deal if I did what he wanted but we didn’t exactly confirm anything.

I have two guards who will be nearby at all times, still it feels freaking amazing to be away from the manor and back in civilian life. It was great to drive through the manor gates, reintroduce myself to the busy New York hustle and bustle, and enter the hospital doors.

God, even the smell of antiseptic and chatter about medication soothes me with that sense of familiarity I missed terribly.

Being here feels like a glimpse of my old life—something that’s still mine.

I’ve been working for the last two hours at my usual task of helping the staff serve the patients breakfast. Now I’m on my way to the nurses’ office to help with admin.

Being here has been great, but being with Jaxon yesterday has continued to plague my mind.

Every time I think about him and what we did conflict enters my heart, ravaging my insides like a storm.

Then there’s also his promise of finishing what we started the next time he sees me. That’s tonight.

I’m already nervous about going to an engagement party I don’t want to attend and meeting Jaxon’s family. Add in the fact that Dad will also be there and I’m a bag of nerves.

I’m seeing Cora at lunchtime. What the hell am I going to tell her?

She’s expecting me to be the devastated damsel in distress trying to escape the monster who captured her.

I’m not sleeping with the enemy. I can’t even explain myself by saying that we weren’t together for long because we got interrupted. I know myself.

The interruption means nothing. I wanted Jaxon as badly as I needed air to breathe. I would have lain there on that bed and taken everything he gave me like an obedient servant.

That’s what would have happened.

This morning when I woke I thought about everything as I watched the sun rise. As it came up and chased the darkness away with its light I narrowed down the things that were tormenting me, then I stripped them apart layer by layer to get to the heart of my problem.

The answer I found was this—I want to escape this marriage and my feelings for Jaxon because I don’t want to end up with a man like my father.

A man who’s probably worse than him. Although the part that gets me is all the ways he’s not like my father. And that he hasn’t been bad to me.

I don’t know how to wrap my head around my actions yesterday, but I do know that I can’t stay with him.

Regardless of what I feel the truth is, being with Jaxon equals danger.

That’s one thing about my mother I don’t want to follow. I don’t want to be in love with a man who could get me killed.

People said the men who massacred my mother and other members of my family on that night were linked to my father. I believe them.

I think it was true. That’s why he changed so much and turned into a monster. I think he blamed himself and still does.

“Gabriella!” Someone calls my name.

I look around and find Julie waving at me. She’s one of the nurses in charge who supervises me when I’m on admin duties.

I wave back at her, truly happy to see her.

She looks like her usual trendy self with her auburn hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head and her eyes gleaming behind the thick black frames of her glasses.

She rushes toward me, meeting me halfway, and pulls me into a hug. “Oh my God. It's so good to see you, girl.”

“It’s great to see you, too.”

“I thought you’d be in L.A. for med school. Are you on a break already?”

We pull apart and she studies my face with that warmth and concern I’ve always appreciated about her.

“Not really. I’ve had to delay my start date again, so I’ll be around for a while,” I explain, thinking it best not to say too much and keep things vague. “I’m hoping I can get everything sorted out to start next year.”

“Oh no. I’m sorry to hear that. At least we get to have you a little longer.” Another warm smile brightens her face.

“Yeah. At least.”

“Well you were definitely missed.” She clasps her hands and beams at me. “There were some crazy jokes going around that you would have appreciated.”

“I wish I could have been here. What else did I miss?”

She sighs and shakes her head. “Dr. Collins is still insufferable. Charlie, the new intern, is still being worshiped like a god, and Mrs. Hamilton set the fire alarms off twice.”

“ Twice ?” I laugh.

Julie nods then flicks her palms over. “She keeps leaving her cigarettes in the worst places. Places that can catch fire. Like her bed.”

“Oh my gosh, that is so crazy. I guess I’m back just in time to keep her in line then.”

“If you think you have the patience to deal with her then you’re a better woman than me.” Julie nudges me lightly. “Come on, I’ll bring you up to speed and you can fill me in on what’s been going on with you.”

The knot in my chest tightens. I wish I could tell her. The kind of shit that has happened to me over the last few weeks is the sort you’d shout from the rooftops. But I have to keep my silence.

I’ll have to do that for however long I’m here and pretend everything’s the same. And nothing is wrong.

I glance across at the guards standing by the Willow tree. I have Andrieu and Silas today. They each hold a Styrofoam cup of coffee, drinking while they watch me.

I have to admit that although they’ve been with me for the whole morning I’ve hardly been aware of their presence. People around me also didn’t notice that they were here for me. They’ve blended in like they were part of the hospital’s security staff.

I suppose I’m more aware of them now because I’m meeting Cora.

I spot her sitting on a bench by the pond and quicken my steps.

She sees me, too and waves me over. When I reach her she gives me a quick hug before we sit next to each other and she hands me a sandwich.

“It’s chicken mayo. I got it from the deli,” she says, giving me a kind smile.

“Thanks so much. I haven’t had one of these in forever.”

“I knew you’d appreciate it.” She glances over her shoulder at the guards.

They’re far enough away from us but still too close for comfort. “God, I wish they weren’t here.”

“Me too. And they’re two of Jaxon’s best.” Meaning his deadliest.

“Let’s not worry about them. I’m glad they’re keeping their distance. Do you have your phone on you?”

“No. I got paranoid and left it in my locker.”

“Trust me, that’s not paranoid. That’s called being aware. You’d be surprised what a phone can be used for. I know a guy who can use it as a listening device even though you’re not on it. I wouldn’t put it past Jaxon to do that.”

I nod, thinking about Jaxon’s technological background. “He certainly has the power and means to do that.”

“Let’s eat and talk. It looks less suspicious. I have some news for you.” She picks up her sandwich, unwraps it and nibbles on the edge.

“Please tell me it’s good news.” I pick up my sandwich, too.

“Yes. I managed to speak to some contacts of mine who will help for the right price. They want a hundred grand.”

My heart drops through the earth. “I have no money, Cora.”

“Don’t worry. I can get the money.”

My eyes widen. “From where?”

“Joey will give it to me. I won’t even need to tell him why I need it.”

Joey Castellano is her fiancé. He’s cousin to the family Dad works for—the big guys who come from old Italian wealth.

Joey adores Cora and will do anything for her, including giving her any amount of money she needs, but I feel wrong taking it.

“Cora, I feel bad. I don’t want you to have to ask him for so much money. That gets him involved. I couldn’t live with myself if Jaxon found out and did something to him.”

“That won’t happen because I’ll do everything from my account. Joey can get me the money in cash.”

“Oh, Cora. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. That’s the easy part. The hard part is the escape. The men I’m working with are here today scouting the place for potential routes. The idea we have so far is to find somewhere you can easily disappear from.”

“What about the toilets?”

“No. You’ll either need to go underground or have access to a vehicle that can take you away as soon as you’re ready to run. At the moment they’re considering the loading bay.”

“That would work. There are several delivery trucks there at any one time.”

“Exactly.”

“And I could easily give the guards the slip from there. They’ve been hanging back all day so people don’t know they’re with me.”

“That’s even better. Once they get you out, I’ve arranged a fake passport and some other ID. Then I’ll get you to Spain.”

“Spain?” I give her a small smile.

“Remember that place I told you I bought in Isla del Ciervo?”

I nod, remembering Natasha and me joking about not knowing where it was. “You’re gonna let me stay there?”

“The house is yours for as long as you need it.”

Wow… this all sounds hopeful. Like it could work. Like it will .

So why do I feel so worried? And guilty.

Okay, the worried part is definitely understandable. I should be a hundred percent worried. The guilty part? No.

And that bugs me. I have no reason whatsoever to feel guilty because the only person I owe any loyalty to is myself. Not Jaxon.

“Are you okay?” Cora asks when I look away.

“Yes. I know we’re still planning but I can’t thank you enough for all your help.”

“You look really worried and I get why, but talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. All I’ve done so far is talk at you. Are you worried about Jaxon?”

“Yeah. I am worried about him.”

“We just need to keep our plans quiet and hope you don’t get caught.”

“I know. It’s just that… there are other things I’m worried about as well.” I look back at Cora and she narrows her eyes.

“Like what?”

I shouldn’t tell her what happened yesterday. It would be best to keep it to myself because I don’t even understand my actions. But Cora is the person I tell everything. There are things I’ve told her that I never told Natasha.

“Yesterday was weird. I… did some stuff with Jaxon that’s screwing with my mind.”

Her gaze becomes pencil thin and she bites on the inside of her lip, looking confused. “What kind of stuff?”

“The confusing kind of stuff you definitely shouldn’t do with a guy you’re trying to run from.”

Her mouth drops open and she sucks in a sharp breath. “Gabriella… what are you telling me? Did you sleep with him?”

Embarrassed that I said anything, I glance away again but she grabs my arm, pulling me to look back at her.

“Gabriella?”

“I don’t know what to say about it.”

“Do you regret it?”

I wish she hadn’t asked me that. It’s the kind of question that has an answer that will make me feel worse. “I should have known better. He’s only using me.”

She grabs my hand with the engagement ring and holds it up to the light. “You know that I know my jewels. A man doesn’t buy a ring like this for a woman he’s merely using.”

“ He would , just to make a statement.”

“I guess you’d know him better than me but that’s one hell of a costly statement to make.”

“What are you trying to say, Cora?”

“I don’t think you would have mentioned what happened between you if it wasn’t important to you in some way.”

“Maybe it’s screwing with me because he’s the first guy I’ve been with in a long time.”

“Or maybe that’s the part that’s important. I know you. You would never have been with him if you didn’t want to. All I’ll say is, be careful. It doesn’t really change anything, does it?”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t.”

“I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to tell you to stay when we may have found a way out. But…that’s for you to decide. Now you have a choice.” She gives me an understanding smile.

Choice. That’s something I’ve almost never had.

“The signal is the word sunshine ,” she adds, nervously looking over her shoulder. I follow her gaze and see the guards approaching.

“Sunshine.”

“I’ll call or text you and you’ll know what to do. We’ll strike while Jaxon is away.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

As Eve and I enter the grand hall of the Astoria I’m swept away by the beautiful French Provencal meets Rococo décor.

The Astoria is an invite-only association for the wealthy and those who have the world at their fingertips.

I’ve been here before for other functions and celebrations. Each event has been decorated according to the theme of the function, almost giving it a life of its own.

Tonight is no different. In fact it’s perhaps the best I’ve ever seen it. I guess it would need to be to host Jaxon Bortsov’s engagement party.

“I always love coming here,” Eve says, looking around at the people all dressed in stunning formal wear. And casting curious glances my way. “It’s always so beautifully decorated. I feel like I’m attending a grand ball.”

“Yes, me too.”

“Especially dressed up like this.” She gives a little tug on her dress and I smile.

She’s wearing a beautiful beige A-line evening dress that compliments her pale skin tone. My dress does the same for me. It’s a sleeveless rose-gold gown with sequins splashed over the fabric.

It’s the kind of dress that draws attention because it’s so beautiful. I’m just not in the mood for that kind of attention because people are already looking at me.

“You look beautiful, Eve.”

“So do you, my dear.” She smiles and links her arm with mine.

I try to share her excitement and smile back at her but I’m so nervous my mind feels like scrambled eggs.

I wish I didn’t have to be here. I love going to functions that feel like grand balls as much as any girl who fantasizes about things like that but this engagement party was never going to feel that way for me.

My heart hasn’t stopped racing since we stepped out of the car.

Jaxon is already here. He had to work late so gave instructions for Eve to escort me. I preferred traveling with her. I wasn’t ready to see Jaxon yet.

I’m still not.

Swallowing my discomfort, I force my nerves aside and follow Eve through the sea of silk gowns and tailored suits whose wearers are all assessing me.

There are more of Jaxon’s people here than mine. I haven’t seen a single person from my side of the family yet.

From some of the haughty stares I can just imagine what they must be thinking about me. That he shouldn’t be marrying me, or even that he could have done better. Like marrying someone Russian. I’m aware Jaxon comes from a very old, traditional family.

There are people like that in my family. They’re just not vocal about it. They also wouldn’t look down on me just because I come from a different country.

We reach the center of the hall and then I see him.

Jaxon stands by the bar talking heartily to a man with dark brown hair and the same height, build, and possibly same age as him.

The man looks just as empowered as Jaxon but the difference between everyone and Jaxon Bortsov is that he exudes effortless power without even trying. The same way he does sex appeal.

Tonight he has his hair slicked back so it draws attention to his high cheekbones and chiseled features.

His black Kiton suit molds to his muscles the way my hands did last night, and the precision of his appearance speaks volumes about him—his authority .

He looks like a Pakhan. But he also looks like temptation.

Feeling my gaze, he turns his head and our eyes lock.

His intense eyes bores into me, filled with the same promises from last night.

For a moment I can't catch my breath. My thoughts have been at war with each other all day. Now that I see him all I can think about is how it felt when he touched me, when he was inside me—claiming me.

Tension hangs heavy between us and my heart betrays me with a single wild beat.

It's going to be near impossible to ignore the way my body reacts when I’m around him. Because no matter how much I try to convince myself that I shouldn’t want this man the truth is, doing so doesn't stop the fire he ignites within me.