Rescued Love (Sweetwater Valley #7)

CHAPTER 1

NATHAN

As I run my hand over the back of my head, I’m tempted to rip the tie from around my neck. It’s been one of those fucking days from the moment I opened my eyes this morning. If I wanted to be honest with myself, which I’m not inclined to do, it’s been one of those fucking weeks, months, years.

It’s like everything is spiraling out of control and I’m left without an anchor. I don’t know what grounds me to this life other than this is what I’ve been working towards for so long. I don’t know who I would be if I weren’t a lawyer and working for one of the top criminal defense firms in the city.

This isn’t the type of law I wanted to practice, but I put my all into it when I got my internship here, just like I’ve done with everything else in my life. Once my internship was over, I had proven myself and I’ve been working up the ranks within the firm ever since. The only problem is I can feel the way it drains my soul.

I’m just not sure how to be any different now. It’s not possible to go back in time and pick another path. I’m not sure if I can find a different one now. What would my life look like if I did?

My boss and mentor, Mr. Nigel Marsh, pops his head around my door and my head snaps up, not like I was really looking at the computer screen in front of me. I’ve been staring off and thinking of something else, anything else, for who fucking knows how long now. I should be focusing so I’m ready to go to court in a few weeks.

But this case has been a shit show from the moment it landed on my desk. There have been times when I’ve defended people who I didn’t know if they really were a criminal or not, and I didn’t care. This time is very different.

I know my client is guilty. I know it like I know the sun rises in the east, sets in the west, and that I’ve been working far too long to become a partner in the firm to give up now. Even though everything in me is screaming to walk away from this case.

Bias isn’t easy to overcome most of the time, but I’ve been able to put it aside for people who were accused of far more heinous and violent crimes than Jediah Culbert is facing. But I can’t seem to focus on the law and put my personal feelings aside.

Every interview I do makes this case more difficult to ignore. And there have been a fuck ton of interviews because Culbert pulled the wool over the eyes of a lot of fucking people and, in the process, stole millions of dollars from them. He sold them all a pie in the sky idea which was never more than a theory in his mind. He’s a fucking grifter and the people who he took advantage of don’t have anything left.

Does that bother Culbert? Nope. Every time he sits across from me in the conference room where we’re going over his case and starting to prep him for trial, he has a smarmy as fuck smile on his face. He doesn’t think the law will touch him.

The worst part is that he might be right.

If it were just me working this case, I would probably lose—which is not something I take lightly considering my win rate is one of the highest in the firm. Losing would be on me because I can’t seem to put everything into defending my jackass of a client.

But it’s not just me working the case. I have co-counsel because our illustrious client insisted that they wanted more than one person working to get him off scot-fucking-free. I’m sure it has more to do with looking rich and connected than anything else.

It’s for the best considering that Marcus is just as pretentious and entitled as our client. It hasn’t gone without notice by him that I’m barely skating by with this case. Now my biggest rival, one I’ve had since the first day of law school, has me by the balls. The way his lips twist up into an ‘I see you’ sneer everyday makes my heart race.

All it’ll take is one well-timed slip to the partners and I’ll be watching everything I’ve been working towards for almost eight years go down the drain. Talk about shit out of luck because there wouldn’t be a damn thing I could do to change it.

Marcus has been gunning to become a partner with the same ferocity I have. I thought he had the same love for justice and the law I do, but since working on this case with him I’ve seen a different side of him. He seems to have zero fucking issue with how our client has all but admitted to being guilty. Hell, Culbert might as well put a neon sign over his head declaring it.

Marcus Mann is not at all phased by it. He’s been like a pig wallowing in the damn mud, more than happy to do our client’s bidding as long as the dangling carrot of partner is hanging in front of him.

Me? I’m not finding the carrot as enticing as I once was.

That doesn’t mean I’m ready to roll over and stop fighting for the position though. Hell no, not only do I not want to give Marcus the satisfaction, but then I would have to look at my life over the last eight years with new eyes and come to a few stark realizations.

There is no fucking way I’m ready to do that.

Nigel heaves a weary sigh as he sits in one of the chairs on the other side of my desk. The way he’s watching me has me on edge, as if I weren’t already. Fuck, I can almost hear the man’s thoughts just a clear as I can read the disappointment on his face.

I should keep quiet and not give anything away. If I assume he’s here because of the Culbert case and he’s not, then I certainly don’t want to bring my disquiet to his attention. It’s not like he doesn’t stop in and see me at least once a week.

Out of all the partners, he’s the one who took me under his wing. Over the years that has meant different things. When I first started, even though I wanted to pretend like I had everything under control, he was there to make sure I wasn’t overworking myself and had our clients in mind at all times. As I learned and grew, he became more of a friend than my boss.

Still, I’ve never allowed myself to forget the very defined line in the sand between us.

He’s where I want to be.

I do want to be a partner? Right?

I shake off the thought that I’ve been working toward the wrong goal and focus on the man in front of me. The way he’s staring at me makes me want to squirm, but I force my body to remain still. When the silence has stretched between us a little too long and it feels like my skin is too tight, I glance toward my computer.

Surprisingly, my voice is neutral when I prompt him, “What can I help you with, Nigel?”

As he rubs his fingers through his salt and pepper hair and leans back into his chair, his shoulders slump. Ah, fuck, that does not bode well for me. It’s a fight to keep the impassive fa?ade in place, but I manage it. Barely.

Even with the slightly defeated body language, Nigel’s eyes are focused and far too fucking keen for my liking. “I have heard rumblings,” he finally shares like there isn’t more than one way to interpret his words. Dealing with lawyers is sometimes annoying, and I am a lawyer. “Marcus has come to the partners and expressed concerns,” he finally drops the bomb, the real reason why he’s come to my office today.

“Concerns?” I narrow my eyes, unsure if I want to sit through this impromptu meeting or go and corner Marcus somewhere, which wouldn’t be a good idea at all. It’s damn tempting though. “What kind of concerns?”

Nigel leans forward slightly, clasping his hands together on his lap and piercing me with a look telling me he’s not buying my bullshit. Well, it was worth a try.

“You know exactly want concerns Marcus has brought to us,” there’s a tired edge in Nigel’s voice I normally don’t hear. “I’m not sure which I’m more disappointed in—that you seem to be struggling with this case or that you allowed Marcus to get ammunition against you.”

My eyebrows shoot up, the bluntness of Nigel’s words surprising me so much that I’m unable to hide my reaction to them. He lets out a chuckle, but there’s no real amusement in the sound. With a wave of his hand, he dismisses my surprise.

“You two have been in competition since before you started your internship. It’s clear as day and whatever you have against this case is showing him weakness.” His eyes narrow slightly, “You don’t want to show weakness to a man like Marcus.”

I let out a woosh of breath and sag backwards into my chair. I’ve known Nigel since the day I started at the firm, but there has always been a professional wall between us. We aren’t friends and this is just another reminder.

I knew he had my back and wanted me to succeed, but there’s always been a divide. He was the partner. I was the lawyer learning under his tutelage. That’s the way it’s been, and I was more than okay with it.

Somehow, this feels like he’s letting me behind the wall a little bit. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

“Nigel,” my voice is hesitant as I let some of my mask slip and run a hand over my face, “what are you trying to say? Just lay it out for me plainly because I just don’t have the energy to decipher riddles today.”

Nigel has never been the kind of man who would put the right tool in my hand, and then manhandle me to show me how to use it. He would rather I figure out which tool is needed and how to wield it while he supervises and nudges me subtly. Normally, I don’t mind, but I’ve just had enough today.

Honestly, I feel fried.

“Marcus is a good lawyer,” Nigel watches my face as he speaks, his tone measured. “He is a good cog to have in a firm like ours.”

I nod slowly and try to be diplomatic even though it’s particularly painful, “He works very hard for the client.”

“There is one thing he’s not though.” Nigel’s voice drops to a whisper, “He’s not brilliant. You will be a much better asset to this firm, both long and short term. The problem is that Marcus will throw anyone under the bus he needs to in order to achieve his goals. He wants to be a partner in the firm. Are you willing to let him win?”

My eyes slam closed as the weight of Nigel’s words wrap around me. “I’m doing the best I can,” I offer.

The words sound like the lie they are. From the way Nigel’s eyes flash, he can hear it just as clearly as I can. That’s not a good thing.

“Do I need to tell you this is a safe space or some other bullshit?”

The vitriol in Nigel’s voice takes me aback for a moment. I hate the feeling of being on my backfoot which is how I’ve felt since this conversation began. It makes me feel defensive, but such a reaction won’t help me here.

With a weary sigh, Nigel shakes his head and offers up a weak, “Sorry. That was out of line.” When I really look at my mentor, it’s clear he’s tired. Has the firm sucked the life from the man or is it something else? It sure as fuck isn’t my place to ask. His voice is softer, but no less direct when he asks, “What is your issue with this client?”

“I don’t have an issue with Mr. Culbert.”

“We might be criminal defense attorneys, but that doesn’t mean you get to lie to me,” he immediately calls me out on my bullshit.

I let out a low groan and shake my head slowly because I don’t have much of a choice here. It’s time to come clean. Even if it kills me.

As I run my fingers through my hair, I heave a heavy sigh, “Culbert is guilty. He’s basically admitted as much.”

Nigel narrows his eyes at me, and I can practically feel the disappointment rolling off him. “You’re a defense attorney. Our clients are innocent until proven guilty ,” when I open my mouth to interrupt him, his voice takes on an edge of steel, “in a court of law. Your job is to mount the best defense you can because the burden of proof rests on the prosecution.”

“I know,” I barely stop myself from keeping the whine out of my voice. I clear my throat and try to keep my shit together. “I know what my job is and, for the most part, I’ve been able to do it. I can focus on defending the client to the best of my ability, no matter their charges. You know this,” I point out, a bit of steel in my voice.

“It hasn’t been a problem until now,” he agrees, “so what’s different?” He arches his eyebrow in challenge, his voice holding the same, “I’m sure this isn’t the first client you’ve suspected has been guilty.”

“It’s different this time. Not only has he basically said he did it, and has no shame over it, but I can’t stop thinking about his victims,” I admit.

The way Nigel tilts his head as he looks at me tells me he knows there’s more to it than what I’m saying. And he’s not fucking wrong.

“Culbert isn’t accused of anything violent,” he prompts. “I would think, having known you for as long as I have, that would be where you’d have an issue putting your bias aside.”

“Look,” I level Nigel with a stare that’s barely on this side of professional, “some of the people Culbert swindled are the same age as my grandfather. He targeted people with his Ponzi scheme because of their ages and the lack of people in their lives who would question them getting involved with him. He preyed on it and devastated his victims. Their lives will never be the same and it’s not like the majority of them are at an age where they can enter the work force again.”

Thinking about it, especially the hopes and dreams he fed his victims, has rage filling me. I clench my fists and quickly pull them off my desk, hoping Nigel won’t notice. He does though and I’m not surprised. The man is watching me like a hawk. I guess it makes sense why he is, considering he’s been a champion for me at the firm since the moment I started here.

“Ah,” he says like a lightbulb has gone off in his head, “this is personal for you.”

“No one has taken advantage of Grandpa,” I mumble defiantly.

But the reality is I’m not sure if I would know if someone did. It’s been years since I’ve visited him in Sweetwater Valley. My parents were high school sweethearts there, but they left the small town for college and never moved back. I’ve never lived in Sweetwater Valley, but visiting Grandpa over the summer are some of my best memories during childhood.

There was something so simple about spending time with him. He had a soft spot for animals and Nana was always telling him to stop bringing strays home. He didn’t. But she never loved him less even when he was aggravating her; I think it made her love him more.

She might have complained, but she took care of whatever animals whose lives they were making better right along with her husband. People in town knew that if they found an animal in need, they could count on the Jacobsons to take care of them.

“Still,” Nigel hedges, “you see the damage done by the alleged crimes of our client and can’t separate them from someone you know. That makes it personal.”

I shrug one shoulder, feeling vulnerable in a way that I hate. This is not the place to show any weakness. Sure, Nigel’s a good man and has been a great mentor, but that doesn’t mean my future isn’t in the man’s hands.

“You’re going to take some time off.”

My gaze snaps to his to find him looking at me with a soft understanding on his face as my mouth drops open. He can’t be serious. Can he?

I narrow my eyes, sure I must have misheard. “I’m going to do what now?” My voice rises, anger lacing my words, “You can’t be serious, Nigel.”

He holds a hand up, stopping me from getting madder and telling him right where he can take his edict and shove it. “Hear me out,” he cajoles. “You’ve never taken any vacation. I understand why because you’ve been so focused on the goal of making partner here. It’s something everyone does, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. You need a little time.”

“I can’t just leave my client,” I insist, even though my heart isn’t totally in it.

Honestly, the thought of not defending Mr. Culbert is enticing. That doesn’t mean everything I’ve been working towards for the last eight years won’t go up in flames with something as seemingly innocuous as taking time off. I could lose everything I’ve ever wanted.

At least, what I’ve convinced myself that I want.

“You can. You’re not doing your client justice right now. He’ll be fine with Marcus representing him. You have plenty of PTO and I’m insisting.” When I open my mouth to argue with him, he shakes his head and glares at me. “You will be taking some time off, and you won’t be losing anything here. You’ve proven yourself to be a brilliant lawyer, Nathan. No one can argue that you haven’t, but you’re struggling right now. Some time off, some time away, is what you need. I think you’ll come back stronger and ready to tackle what’s next in your career,” there’s a knowing glint in his eye which has my heart racing.

Is he implying something specific? I’m almost afraid to hope. There’s no way I can handle the carrot of partner being dangled in front of me to find out it was all a farce. With a neutral mask on my face, I look out the window of my office without seeing anything.

“Maybe it’s time to go visit your grandfather,” he suggests before standing and striding out of my office without another word.

Even if I were to try and argue with him, it wouldn’t get me anywhere. And I can’t say that the thought of heading to Sweetwater Valley for a little while isn’t appealing. Maybe it’ll be exactly what I need to get my head back on straight.