Rescuing Ryder (Serenity Securities, Team Hawk #1)

Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Patch glanced at the number flashing across his phone. He silently cursed Tex as he tipped his head back, closed his eyes, and pinched his nose.

“Hello, Caroline,” he answered.

“Hello, Ryder. Wolf and I flew into Norfolk for a wedding and decided to take a few days to visit Williamsburg. Tex said you lived close to the area, and I wondered if you might volunteer as a tour guide?”

“Did Tex call you, Ice?”

“Does it matter if he called? We’re all concerned about you,” she admitted softly.

“I hope you didn’t leave the wedding for me. It’s been a rough couple of days. I’m sure Tex overreacted and called you. I don’t need a babysitter. I promise.”

“Good. I only babysit my friends’ kids. What do you say? Can you play tour guide? The weather’s beautiful and we can enjoy the fresh air and walk the streets of our forefathers. The wedding turned out lame. The groom’s mother decided her son’s wedding provided the perfect opportunity to display her talent for singing. Wolf already scouted out possible exit routes and formed a plan to execute on my word.”

Patch chuckled. “I bet he did. How did you talk him into a monkey suit anyway?”

“Duh, sex, I promised lots of sex,” she giggled.

“Let me talk to your husband, Ice,” he ordered as he shook his head.

“You’re on speakerphone,” she replied.

“What’s up, Patch?” Wolf’s strong, confident voice came over the phone. He used to feel the same way.

“I take it Tex called you and I should expect you’ll arrive at my door any minute.” Patched sighed.

“It’s more like thirty, but we’ll see you shortly. Caroline found a coffee shop near you and bought a book for the trip. How about we chat and grab some dinner with my wife?”

“Are we pretending you’re asking me? Bring Ice with you. There’s nothing to say that I haven’t said before.”

“You always have a choice, but we’re your friends and sometimes you need to hash things out before they begin to feel better,” Wolf encouraged him. “You experienced something horrific, and eighteen months to heal physically and mentally isn’t a long time, Patch.”

“Stop calling me Patch. I didn’t ‘patch’ anyone up. I can’t live up to my moniker. I didn’t save my best friend. I endured watching his wife and two small kids fall apart at his funeral. Why did he die while I lived? Everyone says time heals all wounds, but it doesn’t. I’m here to tell you I have a big, gaping hole in my chest, and no amount of therapy will fix it.”

“We all go into this job knowing the risks. Everyone on your team knew it. I know it doesn’t take away the pain of watching them suffer and die. Think about it, Patch. What did Gunner and your teammates expect from you?” Wolf asked.

The words of his best friend echoed in his ear . It’s your job to live a life worthy of us. “They’d want me to go on. When I close my eyes, all I see are their faces while they senselessly died. What happened to our backup? Why didn’t they find us sooner?”

“We may never know the answers to those questions. We can’t play the ‘what if’ game. Nothing good comes from it. You’re here and they’d want you to go on with your life and find happiness. You do it for yourself, but you do it for them, too. You carry them with you every damn day,” Wolf emphatically replied.

“I can’t do this anymore, Wolf. The hospitals, the treatments, and the drugs, they don’t work. All I see are the ghosts of the past. Slater’s wife found out about her pregnancy and gave birth to a little girl he’ll never know. Oreo’s daughter graduated high school with honors and he missed it. Gummy’s son got married. I stared at the damn empty place setting with the red, white, and blue ribbon tied to the empty chair all night. Why do they even do it? It’s a stupid gesture and makes everyone feel like shit.”

“It’s honoring their loved one. Letting them know they saved a place in remembrance of someone special. They allowed life to move on. We’ll get you there.”

“I’m taking a shower. I’ll see you soon.” He disconnected the call. Wolf said everything he heard a thousand times before. Picking up his weapon, he released the magazine and cleared the chamber. He put it back in the lockbox and scooped up the bullet. Holding it up to his forehead, Ryder closed his eyes. I’m sorry I’ve let you down, Gunner. I’ve tried to find a reason to go on. He didn’t want to see the pitiful glances, the worried faces, or listen to another lecture. Yet something stopped him from pulling the trigger. For his life, he couldn’t figure out the reason.