Resist Me

Chapter 1

West

This floor? No. Whatever this countertop was made of? Gross. The cabinets? Probably twice my age.

“I hate it,” I said, frowning at every corner of the room.

“It’s not that bad,” Kai countered.

From the way his nose wrinkled, I knew he hated it too, but we were broke as a joke college students with shitty jobs. I didn’t even have a job yet. Seriously, I had classes four days of the week. How did he expect me to work too?

I guess he managed it, but Kai was different. He could do anything. There had to be some mutant DNA in him or something. He could be an X-man. Mr. Do-It-Yourself. Jack of all trades.

“What’ll Sen think?” I asked as I leaned on the counter. Thinking better of it, I straightened and dusted off my elbows.

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem like the picky type.”

“You don’t even know what your boyfriend will like?”

“To be fair, we’ve barely been dating for three months and we’ve only known each other for four.”

“Maybe you should do more talking and less light choking.”

“The choking isn’t always light,” he said with a wry smile .

“I get the room furthest from yours. That’s not something I need to be subjected to as often as you guys do it.”

“You’ve been so grumpy since we got back from Maine. What’s going on?”

Pursing my lips, I did a full three-sixty to take in the space. I didn’t think the living room would fit more than a fifty-inch TV, not that we could even afford that. I wasn’t some rich snob, but I’d never slummed it before. As shitty as life had become just before me and my twin sister, Willow, turned nine, we’d always had what we needed. We just had to ask for it, which she didn’t have trouble with, but I’d rather chew off my left testicle than ask my dad for something.

“West,” Kai prompted impatiently.

“Nothing’s wrong. We’ve been back for all of a few days. Chill out.”

“Fine. Keep it to yourself. I’m gonna do a video walkthrough so I can show Sen.”

“He’s gonna hate it,” I muttered under my breath.

The place had three rooms, which was what we needed for Willow to move here. It was barely within our budget, which was laughable considering the state of the place. I hadn’t seen any yet, but there had to be roaches. If I had to sleep here, I’d do it, but I’d find a way to be out of the apartment all day, every day.

As long as we stayed within our budget, I might be able to swing it without getting a job. My scholarship left me with money for room and board. It wasn’t much, but it should be enough. Worst case scenario, I found a side gig.

Maybe the definitely-roach-infested apartment could work. There weren’t many other places that were in our price range unless we moved further out. Since Kai was the only one with a car, that wasn’t feasible.

I’d name the first roach George and the second Fred. That way, one would have to watch his brother die. I couldn’t remember which one because I wasn’t that much of a nerd, but it didn’t really matter. One of those goo-filled sprinters was going to die.

“He said it’s fine,” Kai announced, coming back into the room.

“Fine is code for hate.”

“Yeah, he wasn’t very convincing, but we don’t have many options here. It’s up to you if we go through with it. She’s your sister. ”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I thought about Willow, stuck in our dad’s house with nowhere else to go. It wasn’t even a question. I just needed a minute to agonize over it.

She had to pull her weight when she moved in. Since she was held back her senior year, she had to repeat the grade, but she’d recently decided to get her GED instead. She needed out of our dad’s house, so we were moving her to Seattle to be with us. I already told her she needed to get a job as soon as she got here. If she started slipping, I couldn’t pick up the slack for her. She’d been through shit and struggled because of it. I’d do anything- up to and including murder- for her, but I had to stay on top of my own shit.

Alright. The moment of agonizing over it was complete.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Let’s just do it. I’m sure some posters on the walls and a nice espresso machine will spruce up the place.”

“Sure. It’ll be great.”

Kai offered me a hopeful smile before he started toward the door. I looked into the kitchen just in time to catch a fat brown roach scurry into some crack in the floorboard that was too small for me to see.

A shudder racked my body. Everything would be fine. It was probably the only one. It could have gotten lost and was now fleeing back to its rightful place in hell.

I shut the door behind me and wished that it would be the last time I had to look at that place. Unfortunately, we were about to call it ‘home’ and I was nowhere near ready for that.

*****

“Come on, Densmore!” coach called when my throw went wide. Again.

My skin was warm, not just from the exertion. I wanted to tear off my gear, but it would just give him another reason to yell at me.

I shouldn’t have been messing up this bad today. My head was all over the place and I kept getting distracted. We were moving this weekend and I was stressed about it. On top of that, I couldn’t stop worrying about Willow. I could never stop.

When my throw was shit again, I let out a frustrated sound and marched off the field. Coach called my name, but I ignored him. I was done practicing today. It wasn’t doing any good.

“Maybe you’ll be better at fetch,” Lincoln taunted before throwing a ball at me. I evaded it and continued toward the locker room .

I slammed my hand into the door and immediately started tearing off my uniform. Our final game was in two days and I was failing. Coach probably wouldn’t even let me play at this point. It was unlikely he would anyway. It was Lincoln’s last game and he was the king. He’d go on to make everyone proud when he finished here. What else did he have to prove?

Harmon was one of the top schools for football. It was why I came here. If I was at a lesser university, practice likely wouldn’t start again for a while. That wasn’t the case for us. After our last game, we got less than three months off.

At least Lincoln was done. He wouldn’t be playing next year, so he wasn’t part of the team after this season ended.

Good riddance.

You’re worthless, West.

That was what he told me the day I got back from winter break. I’d gone to the football field and, lo and behold, he was there throwing the ball around by himself and running laps. His words were uncalled for, even if I had pissed him off and attacked him.

I closed my locker with enough force to make the entire row shudder. Slinging my duffel bag over my shoulder, I left through the side door. I didn’t look toward the field to see if they were still practicing. Hopefully, they’d realize I was in a mood and not give me shit for it tomorrow. That was unlikely with our final game so close, but if I had to run laps as punishment for a mental health moment, I’d take it.

Maybe I needed to start practicing some sort of self-care. Currently, I made myself feel better with food and inserting myself into everyone else’s problems. I loved both of those things, but they could only get me so far.

When I reached Marshall Hall, I didn’t go to my room on the first floor. I took the stairs up two levels, walked down the hall, then hung a left. I pulled out a key, which Kai may or may not know that I had, and unlocked his door. Thankfully, the room was empty. Kai was still at practice, but there was always a chance that his boyfriend, Sen, would be chilling in here naked or something. Those two humped like rabbits. It was a wonder Sen could walk straight.

Kai always kept his car key on top of the mini fridge by the door, but it wasn’t there this time. I checked his nightstand but just found lube and some toys I really didn’t want to look at in the drawer. Heading over to his dresser, I started rummaging inside of it.

“What are you doing?”

“Jesus,” I gasped, putting a hand over my chest. “Don’t scare me like that.”

Sen stood in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was stern, but he didn’t have an intimidating presence. With his athletic build, maybe he could throw a punch, but I kinda doubted it. He was a little over six feet tall with blonde hair and honey brown eyes. He had the boy-next-door vibe if you sprinkled in a bunch of conversion therapy trauma and bigoted parents.

“I’m looking for Kai,” I said.

“In the dresser?”

“He sent me to find his keys.”

“Did he? I think he would’ve told you where to find them.”

“Must’ve slipped his mind that he switched up their hiding spot.”

“Maybe that’s because you stole his car and drove to Colorado with a suspended license.”

I clicked my tongue and rocked back on my heels. “To save you, though. That counts for something.”

Breathing a laugh, he shook his head. “Why do you need the keys?”

“I just need to clear my head.”

“A walk can do wonders.”

“It’s not the same. Come on, Sen. We’re pals. I took two punches from your dad to defend you.”

He pulled his lip between his teeth. When his eyes darted toward the small desk, I smiled and headed over to it.

“West, no.”

Taking the keys from the drawer, I hooked my finger through the ring. Sen stood firmly in front of the door with a challenging look on his face.

“He’s gonna kill you. And me.”

I snorted. “I’m not scared of Kai. Besides, he knows I’m unstoppable. He’d never hurt you, so move aside.”

He muttered a curse and did as I said. On my way out, I booped his nose. I took the back exit just in case Kai was on his way back. This was one of those things I didn’t want to get caught for until I was done because he actually did have a chance of stopping me.

I got into his black sedan and quickly pulled out of the lot. Looking at my phone, I once again wondered how bad of an idea this was. I hit the call button and put it on speaker. Every ring made my stomach feel more questionable.

“Weston,” my dad answered. Flat. Monotone.

“I have a college fund, right?”

He huffed like I was the biggest nuisance on the planet. “Yeah, but you can’t touch it until you’re twenty-one.”

“That sort of defeats the purpose.”

“It keeps you from making dumb decisions, just like I assume you’re trying to do right now. Let me guess. You’re mixed up in drugs already.”

I gritted my teeth and fought the urge to hang up. “Can I make a withdrawal with the permission of my oh-so-loving father?”

“For what?”

“I need things.”

“This has been a waste of my time.”

“I’m moving into an apartment,” I said before he could hang up. “Me, Kai, and his boyfriend.”

“What’s wrong with the dorm?”

“This works better for us and…” I bit my tongue before I mentioned Willow. He was obviously unaware of her plans. “It’s just good for us and it’ll help us grow, but we need some stuff. Furniture, mostly.”

“You’re not ready to move if you can’t afford those things.”

“Can you just do it? I’m not blowing it on drugs or hookers. I’ll even send you receipts.”

“How much do you need?”

“How much is in there?”

“Enough.”

“A thousand, maybe. I don’t know how much this shit costs, but I’m gonna go to the thrift store.”

“That’s how you get bed bugs. God damnit, I’ll send you what should be enough. Text me if you need more. Don’t get spend happy. ”

The call ended, leaving me both satisfied and annoyed. He wasn’t the worst dad on the planet. I’d met Sen’s parents and that was its own sort of hell. Mine had once been loving and took us to the movies and on the occasional vacation. Life could really do a number on someone, turning them into a stranger who looked at you with resentment where there’d once been pride.

At least he’d kept my college fund instead of donating it to charity or some shit. I hadn’t even asked about it up until now because I assumed he’d done something like that.

My phone buzzed, alerting me that money had been deposited into my account.

Holy shit. Maybe I’d hold off on the dad slander for a day or two.