Resist Me

Chapter 17

Lincoln

Once I set the bar down, I yawned. It was probably the tenth time since I got here. Most of my days lately consisted of late nights, early mornings, and sore fingers. I’d need to take a break soon or I’d wear myself out, which wouldn’t help me improve.

“You haven’t been at the house lately,” Rick noted as he took my place on the bench.

“Been busy.”

“That music thing? What’s it for again?”

“I have to play for the panel that chooses who gets accepted into the program. It’s a big deal.”

“Take a day off, man. There’s a party on Saturday.”

There was always a party. Still, he had a point. At the very least, it would be good to hang out with my friends. It was too easy to get comfortable in my studio by myself. I loved to be alone, but humans were social creatures. It wouldn’t hurt to force myself to show my face this weekend.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

I guided the bar as he finished his set. He sat up and took heavy breaths, then let out a sound .

“Oh my god.”

I followed his gaze and saw a woman at the squat machine. Her black hair was pulled into a high ponytail and she was dressed in just a sports bra and shorts. Obviously, she was attractive, and Rick might have been falling in love already.

“Don’t hit on a woman at the gym,” I said. “It’s gross.”

“But look at her.”

“Being beautiful isn’t an invitation for attention.”

He snorted. “You just don’t get it.”

“Just because I’m not into women doesn’t mean I don’t get it. Look at that guy.” I nodded toward a man with a golden bun on his head and a muscle shirt that showed his entire torso. “He’s hot and I’m not harassing him.”

“You’re the worst wingman.”

I chuckled as I readjusted my gloves. “There’s a time and a place, you know.”

“The time is now and the place is anywhere.”

The woman sunk into a low squat and started to come back up but struggled. Her legs shook with the effort, her face becoming pinched. I flipped off Rick and headed toward her. Grabbing the bar, I raised and latched it into place.

“Oh my god, you saved me,” she said through heavy breaths. “I thought I was gonna be pinned beneath it and suffocate.”

“That’s a bit dramatic,” I laughed. “You don’t have a spotter?”

She gestured toward the windows. “He’ll be back.”

“Well, you should use these stoppers.” I crouched and raised the safety stops. “If you have to bail, they won’t let the bar fall past there.”

“That’s good to know.”

“I’m assuming you don’t do this often.”

She smiled and bit her lip. “That obvious?”

“You don’t know how to work a smith machine, so kind of.”

She leaned against one side of the machine and studied me. Her hair was stark against her pale skin. The blue of her eyes was so bright, I almost thought they had to be contacts. The color was familiar, but I couldn’t place it off the top of my head.

“Are you new here?” I asked.

“Yeah. Well, I don’t go to the school, but I just moved here to be with my brother. ”

“That’s cool. You must be close.”

“Ever since we were wombmates.”

“Wombmates,” I repeated with a laugh. “You’re twins?”

She nodded. The way she fluttered her lashes made it clear she was flirting with me. It also drew my attention to her eyes again. So damn blue.

Something curdled in my stomach. “Uh, who’s your brother?”

“West Densmore. He’s the quarterback. Do you know him?”

“You could say that.”

“Willow.”

She looked over my shoulder and her eyes softened. I tensed when I heard the voice. There was kindness in it when he said her name, but also a note of irritation. I couldn’t help but wonder where it stemmed from. Likely, it was because of me.

“I’m making friends,” Willow told him. The mischievous look on her face was so like his that I was surprised I didn’t notice their relation earlier.

He came around my side to stand next to her. The tightness in his jaw was apparent and when he swept his gaze over me, I raised a brow. For such an outgoing, annoyingly goofy person, he was prickly as hell when it came to me. Something made him lash out in the library and I’d been curious about it but not enough to approach him again.

“He’s not friend material,” West said.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “I’m very friendly. I did save Willow from being crushed by a hundred pound bar.”

West turned his irritated gaze on her. “I told you to wait for me.”

“You took too long,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Besides, he’s nice. What’s your name?”

“Linc.” I held out my hand and she took it with a smile. “Lincoln Porter.”

Her eyes widened and she pulled her hand back. “Oh. That makes sense. You’re his arch nemesis.”

“Let’s address the fact that he’s the one who made my life hell for the past six months.”

“You convinced someone to break my ribs,” West growled, his nostrils flaring .

“That’s not what I did, but it’s pointless to argue with you, so I’ll just go. It was nice to meet you, Willow. Don’t forget the safety stops.”

Instead of her bright smile, there was something closer to a smirk on her face. I didn’t know how to feel about that, so I turned around and rejoined Rick. He took me by the shoulder, getting close.

“Is she single? Don’t tell me she’s dating Densmore.”

“No, they’re siblings. Unless you want him to kick your ass, I’d keep your distance.”

“He doesn’t hate me, so maybe I’ll shoot my shot.”

“Good luck with that.”

I sat on the bench again. Before I laid back, I looked over at West and Willow. They seemed to be talking quietly to each other, both of them looking tense.

What had him so wound up? Even when he was messing with me, he usually had an infuriating playfulness about him. Something had really gotten under his skin.

Not my problem.

*****

My hands were beginning to ache, but I continued playing. It wasn’t often that I could practice here without anyone else being around. My keyboard at home worked well enough since it had weighted keys and I’d spent a hell of a lot of money on it, but it was always better to play on a real piano.

When I stumbled over a couple notes, I stopped. I was starting to hate this piece. With a deep breath, I decided to play something else, a song that I could just enjoy without pressure. River Flows In You was one of my comfort songs and I knew it by heart, so I closed my eyes and let my fingers dance across the keys. It was like muscle memory and it didn’t fail to make goosebumps rise on my skin.

The room filled with the smooth flow of the notes. The rise and fall of the music felt like it matched the cadence of my breaths. It was thoughtless, which had its own sort of purity. When I sunk into this state, the physical concept of music disappeared along with my simple existence. Things just were .

As I closed out the song, I felt almost weightless. Slowly, the world came back into focus, but it was gentle, like a current gradually rocking me back to shore .

And then my peace shattered.

A slow clap erupted, making my eyes fly open. There was a figure standing in the doorway, tall and lithe. Only when she stepped forward into the light did I recognize her.

“Willow,” I said, surprised.

“Lincoln.”

Her grin was so familiar, even though I’d only met her once, and briefly. I dropped my gaze to the keys, then shook my head and closed the case.

“You don’t have to stop.”

“I don’t need an audience,” I replied, getting to my feet.

“Isn’t that sort of the point?”

“Not remotely. If it is, then you’re playing for the wrong reasons.”

“And what are your reasons?”

She moved further into the room and reached out to glide her fingers across the smooth black surface of the piano. I contemplated her question. I didn’t even know if it was worth answering.

“It’s my passion,” I said simply, leaning my hip against the instrument.

She smirked. “But not to share it with others.”

“I never said that. Spreading the feeling that comes with music is different than wanting an audience. It’s reaching into the deepest parts of yourself and giving others a glimpse, whether what comes out is good or bad; content or tortured.”

“Spoken like a true artist. Will you share it with me, then?”

My lips pursed for a moment. “Maybe sometime. I’m not keen on exacerbating your brother’s hatred for me right now.”

“He’s not capable of that. Dislike, sure. Competition, absolutely. Hate?” She shook her head and something shifted in her blue eyes. “It’s like you said. Letting others glimpse the deepest parts of you, but sometimes they look different to others than they feel inside of you.”

I hummed thoughtfully. “So, he secretly wants to be my best friend.”

The darkness faded from her expression and she let out a laugh. “Doubtful. Kai has him locked down in that regard.”

That much was abundantly clear. They showed up here together and never left a shred of doubt that they were basically inseparable. It was a bond that must not have come easily. The spoils of war might be beautiful, but they were stained red by the battles fought to win them. Every good thing in our life came at a certain cost and I could see that there was pain that had brought them closer somewhere along the way.

“Why are you here, Willow?”

Biting her lip, she spider crawled her fingers across the piano. “Well, I’m supposed to meet West in the gym when he’s out of class. I started talking to some football players, you came up, and they mentioned that you’re a music major, which I was shocked about because…” She gestured at me as if that explained her point. “Anyway, I had a feeling I could find you if I came looking. Call it a sixth sense.”

“Right,” I said, drawing out the word. Something curdled in my stomach as I took in her intense gaze. Damnit. “Not to be presumptuous-”

She cut me off with a laugh. “Presumptuous. Aren’t you just so proper?”

“Yeah, sure. I just want to make sure you know that I’m not interested like that. If that’s what you thought…”

“Oh, no, no. That’s not why I’m here. You’re obviously gay.”

“Obviously?” Nobody had ever thought I was ‘obviously gay.’ Was she a witch? She was West’s twin, so it tracked.

She waved a dismissive hand. “Besides, I saw the way you looked at West.”

I wanted to ask what the hell she meant by that as well, but she kept going.

“The reason I came to find you is that I want you to invite him to the party this weekend.”

“At the frat?”

She nodded exuberantly. “I heard about it and I want to go, but I know that he’s gonna be all like, ‘No, Willow, that’s not what you should be doing your first weekend here.’ I, on the other hand, think it’s a perfect way to celebrate my first weekend here, plus I can meet people. If he did agree, he’d want to come with me, but he’s all pissy with you- more than usual for some reason- so I thought you could smooth things over and invite him.”

I blinked a few times. She talked really fast and even though English was my first and only language, I didn’t feel fluent right now .

“Look,” I began, running my fingers through my hair. “This doesn’t really feel like my place. And to be honest, I don’t want to put in the effort with West anymore. I tried and it just pissed him off more, so I’m good. No love lost or whatever.”

Her lips were set in a tight line as she nodded. She rounded the piano, dragging her fingers on it along the way. When she sat on the bench and lifted the lid, I raised a brow. She started to play a Disney song I couldn’t name. It was choppy, but I was still surprised.

“West loved music,” she said while she played. “Any time he heard it, he’d start dancing and singing like a dying cat.” She laughed and my own lips pulled up in a smile. “He had this toy microphone and our dad hated it because it was so loud. He’d sing into it for hours. Eventually, Dad had to hide it after dinner so that West would go to sleep.”

I sat on the bench beside her. She’d begun playing Fur Elise, but she was stumbling through it. Putting my fingers on the keys, I slowly played on the octave below hers. She followed my movements and a smile formed on her lips.

“He should’ve taken lessons if he liked it so much,” I said.

“He did. Well, sort of. James…” Her hands stilled and I watched her throat bob. “Uh, our dad’s friend was in a band. He was teaching him some things, but… Anyway, it was just an innocent hobby. Once he got into football, he forgot all about it.”

I watched her as she started playing again. There was a noticeable tension now, but it was clear she wanted to ignore it, so I didn’t say anything about it.

“If you wanna go to the party, you should just go. You’re an adult.”

“He worries. I add to it a lot, but I don’t want to if I can help it.”

With a sigh, I performed a glissando, then turned to her. “I’ll invite him, but I’m telling you, it’s not gonna make a difference. You’re better off having one of the other guys do it.”

“I don’t know,” she mused, getting to her feet. She suddenly became serious again. “He wanted your approval.”

“What?”

“It was competition, yeah, but that’s because he’s always felt like he had to compete for acceptance, even from someone who should have given it freely. At a certain point, even bad attention is better than none. He didn’t feel like he had your approval, so he decided he needed to be better than you.”

With a shrug, she started toward the door. Before she walked out, she turned around with a wide grin.

“It’s kill or be killed, Linc. He’s toxic as fuck, but aren’t we all?” With that, she was gone.

I didn’t think toxicity was something to be celebrated and I wouldn’t say that I was overtly toxic, but I could see what she was saying. West’s need for attention was always obvious to me, but I saw it as spoiled rockstar syndrome. I thought he came from high school, where he was the star quarterback, and wanted to make this his new kingdom. Maybe what I thought I knew about West was wrong.

Clearly, it was wrong. I’d been seeing that for the past few weeks. Maybe she had a point, but I’d already put myself out there, trying to extend an olive branch. He’d set the thing on fire. What was the point of continuing to try? I had friends and I didn’t need him to join the club.

“Shit,” I muttered, dropping my head back. I hated that I knew what I was going to do already. Well, I’d fight it until at least the end of the day. If I made it until tomorrow, I wouldn’t feel so weak.