Resist Me

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

West

“What the fuck is going on!”

Dad’s voice was louder than I’d ever heard it. He wasn’t just angry. This was worse than when he caught me trying to pocket a bag of sour patch kids at Walmart. This scared me.

I ventured forward, keeping my arms wrapped around myself. He’d only just gotten home from work. I didn’t know why he was so mad. James said something, but I couldn’t hear him well. There was a shout from inside, then he came flying through the door and landed on the ground.

“West, call the police,” Dad ordered.

“I don’t get it. Why?”

“Just do it!”

I flinched, then took off toward the living room. His phone was on the coffee table, so I grabbed it before I headed back up the stairs. Instead of looking at Dad and James again, I went into the bedroom. Willow was on the bed and seeing her crying made tears fill my eyes. She was under a blanket, holding it tightly.

I climbed onto the bed and pulled her down to rest her head in my lap. I didn’t know what was happening, but she was more scared than me. It made me more mad than I’d ever felt. My body shook with it. I held her tightly while I put in the number Dad taught us in case we were ever in trouble.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” a man answered.

“Something is wrong with my sister. Please, she’s scared.”

He asked for my address and I recited it from memory.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

I looked down at her. A few of my tears fell into her hair. She was shaking so bad and I was afraid she was hurt. Did James hurt her? He couldn’t do that. He was nice. We’d known him our whole lives. He loved us.

“Something… something bad happened. I don’t know. Please. Something’s wrong with her.”

“Okay, someone is on their way. Is that all you can tell me?”

“W-we’re twins. I… Dad always said to protect her, but I don’t know what happened. I’m sorry. I’m… I don’t know what happened.”

With a roar, my fist connected with the wall. I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, trying to find a way to breathe. Ten years. Ten fucking years. I never knew how long he got. I was eight fucking years old and I didn’t pay attention to that. It wasn’t something I’d thought about since. I just knew he was in prison and I thought it would be significantly longer.

Flattening my palms against the wall, I drew in a shuddering breath. It left me just as quickly. I leaned my head against the surface, unable to hold back my tears. My body felt too weak to stand, so I dropped into a crouch.

“Why didn’t you tell me, West?”

“I-I didn’t know.”

“Fuck! God damnit.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“You should’ve known something was happening to her, West. She’s your sister. How could you leave her alone?”

“James put on Iron Man and gave me ice cream.”

“Iron Man? Iron Man, West!”

“I’m sorry!” When I raced upstairs, he yelled after me, but I didn’t stop. I did something wrong and I still didn’t understand. I crawled into the bed with Willow. She still had her bracelet on from the hospital. “I’m sorry,” I said into her hair as I held her. “I’m sorry, Willow. Dad’s mad at me. Please don’t be mad at me too. I didn’t mean to… I didn’t… mean to.”

She barely said a word for six months after that. She was a damn chatterbox now and I hung on every word. Those six months were the loneliest of my life. I couldn’t stand the silence.

“West.”

I shook my head, not wanting any company right now. All I needed to do was find my sister, but I couldn’t do it like this.

Kai dropped to the floor beside me and pulled on me hard enough to force me against his chest. “She told me and I’m guessing Rick told you.”

“Yeah,” I rasped. “I should’ve known.”

That was the story of my life. I didn’t know when it was happening and I didn’t even know when he was set to get out of prison. She did. Of course she did. Was that why she’d been so eager to move out here with me? He was in Indiana and couldn’t know where we’d moved afterward, but she was probably terrified every day as it drew closer. God, I’d failed her again. I couldn’t stop failing her.

“West, I know you’re trying to blame yourself right now. You need to stop. This is why she didn’t tell you. She was trying to protect you.”

“Protect me?” I shouted, pulling back. “I should be protecting her.”

“No, you protect each other. She loves you and she knows what lives in your head. I wish she would’ve said something instead of sinking into this place, but now you know and the both of you can work through it together.”

I swiped both hands down my face and scrubbed away my tears. “I feel like an idiot. I knew something was up with her, but I was selfish and lost myself in Linc.”

He sighed. “It’s not bad to let yourself be happy. You saw what happened when you tried to force her hand the other day. She wouldn’t say anything until she was ready, so stop looking for a reason to feel guilty.” After a moment, I got to my feet. He stood and looped his arm through mine. “Before we go, there’s something you need to know.”

“Might as well lay it on me. It can’t be any worse than all this. ”

He hesitated, which made me wonder if that statement was wrong. When he turned me to face him, his eyes bore an intensity that wasn’t common with him.

“He’s here.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Your dad. He- God damnit, West.”

I was at the door within seconds. My hand slammed into it, making it fly open. Off to the right, Willow was leaning against the building. Kai’s parents were there, along with Sen. His dad looked a little confused, but when he saw Kai, he lit up. I wasn’t sure if he knew exactly what was going on, but at least he recognized his son right now.

The man standing in front of Willow, with a hand on her arm, didn’t look up as I approached. Just the sight of him made my blood boil. Today wasn’t the fucking day.

I grabbed onto his bicep and wrenched him away. When my hands connected with his chest, he stumbled back a step, then planted himself firmly. His dark blue eyes flashed with anger, but he didn’t lash out at me. I wished he would.

His hair was the same color as ours, but his skin was more tan. Our bright eyes came from our mom, which I was grateful for. Everyone said I looked like my dad and I hated that. Any difference I could find made it easier to distance myself from any relation to him.

“Why are you here?” I demanded.

“You invited me.”

I let out a clipped laugh. “Not once have you cared about anything I do. If Willow wasn’t here, you wouldn’t have even considered it.”

When he didn’t deny it, my traitorous chest constricted. I fought the tears with everything I had, refusing to show this man how much power he had over me. He would just use it against me as another way to hurt me. He didn’t deserve my pain or my love, maybe not even my hate. My dad hadn’t earned a single thing from me. All he did was take- my childhood, my happiness, my ability to look at myself in the mirror most days. My dad. He’d taken him from me too.

“Go home,” I said, turning my back on him. “We don’t need you here. ”

Willow took my hand and pulled me closer. “West.” I wrapped my other arm around her and held the back of her head to keep her close.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t want it to be a part of our lives anymore. I just needed a minute to deal with it and move on.”

“You should’ve told me, Willow.”

She pulled back and surprised me by smiling. “You’ve been so happy.”

“Come on. Let’s go home.”

“No, Kai offered to take me already. I want you to stay here.”

“You’re insane. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“She won’t be alone,” Kai said from behind me. “Mom and Dad want to see the apartment anyway.”

“It’s a shit hole,” I muttered.

“Whose apartment?” Eli, Kai’s dad, asked.

“Kai’s apartment,” Savannah told him gently.

“I’m coming with you,” I said.

Willow huffed. “I’m fine, I swear. It just stirred up the past a little and I let myself lean into the darkness. This is your night and I want you to go in there to enjoy it. Go listen to Linc’s speech. He’ll totally be red while he’s up there. The dude is aggressively introverted.”

I breathed a laugh, then grew serious again. “Stay here, then.”

“No, I feel like shit. I’ve been drinking since ten this morning. Go support your man and claim your title as god of Harmon University.”

Even though I wanted to refuse, I knew she wouldn’t give up. There wasn’t really anything I could do about what she felt right now. I could see that she was telling the truth about being okay. It wasn’t new; she’d just cracked open a little. I’d rather be there to make sure she didn’t continue to spiral, but I trusted Kai to do that. It still felt wrong, though.

“Fine,” I conceded. “But I’m leaving this thing early and we’re going to eat a whole gallon of ice cream when I get home.”

She snorted. “Each.”

Finally, I was able to truly smile. Cupping her face with both hands, I looked into her eyes. “I’ve got you. You know that, right?”

“Of course. I’m not afraid. ”

“No, because you’re a goddamn badass, Willow Densmore. But you’re not allowed to touch alcohol until you’ve worked through this.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

When she started forward, she stumbled a little. This time, it made me chuckle. It was possible people had a point when they said how alike we were.

Kai pressed his forehead against mine and gripped the back of my neck. “I’m proud of you for choosing to stay.”

I grimaced. “You can keep that to yourself. It made me nauseous.”

He pulled back and looped his arm through his dad’s. “We’re gonna have a whole tour. I’ll show you where West first learned that roaches were into skydiving.”

Bastard.

Willow gave our dad a hug and said something to him quietly. I watched until everyone got into their cars in the parking lot. My dad remained, which I decided to ignore. I wondered if he would go to the apartment or just hop on a plane like nothing ever happened. Hopefully, he’d choose the second option.

Not sparing him a glance he didn’t deserve, I headed back inside. My mind continued to tell me that I shouldn’t be here; I should be with my sister. When I saw Lincoln talking to coach, though, I felt a sense of warmth that had become more familiar to me. He walked onto the stage, looking adorably nervous. Within a second, he switched into his confident quarterback state. I sort of preferred him the other way.

He moved closer to the mic and cleared his throat. “If you don’t know me, well, I don’t know where the hell you’ve been.” A laugh echoed through the crowd. I leaned back against the wall, crossing my arms as I watched him. “I’m Lincoln Porter. I’ve been part of Harmon’s football team for four years and the starting quarterback for three.”

He began to chew on his lip. When his eyes lifted and met mine, a smile tried to break through. I returned it, hoping he’d somehow find encouragement in that. Usually, he looked all mushy when I gave him my classic West smile. A lot of the time, it was fake, but with him, it rarely was.

It was truly insane how I’d made it here. I couldn’t believe that I’d followed through and came as his date for everyone to see. I’d been nervous, but it hadn’t been hard at all. His asshole move with his grandparents wasn’t ideal, but I wasn’t upset about it either. Even now, when I looked at his grandma across the room, she offered me a sweet smile and a little wave. It felt nice, almost like when I was around Kai’s parents. That feeling of acceptance never failed to make me emotional.

They didn’t know me, of course. To them, I was the guy their grandson was dating. For some reason, he liked me and he’d stuck around this long, so I tried to convince myself it was real. To me, it was, yet I couldn’t shake the fear that the other shoe would drop.

The reason why… Just walked in the damn door.