Resist Me

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Lincoln

As soon as I closed out my speech, I rushed off the stage. People probably thought I was going to throw up or something. I sort of felt like I would. The look on West’s face… I wanted to pass it off as a remnant of what happened with Willow, but the guy beside him looked too much like him for me to believe that. As soon as he came in, a darkness took over West’s expression that I’d never seen before.

Someone tried to get my attention but I just kept walking. I had no idea where he’d be. It was like when he’d stormed out the other day, but no doubt worse. We were twenty minutes from campus and I didn’t have my bike. This whole thing was a disaster.

When I opened the door that led outside, I ran into a man with black hair and dark blue eyes. Immediately, I fisted his shirt and pushed him back onto the sidewalk.

“Where’s West?” I demanded.

His lips thinned. He may have looked like his son, but I hated his face.

“Let me go,” he said calmly.

“No. Not until you answer my question. ”

He grabbed my wrist, trying to pull it away, but I was stronger. “I don’t really care if you’re his partner. You don’t get to make demands of me.”

Releasing him, I let out a dry laugh. “Is that what you think? No, actually, I can do just that. You know why? Because I’m the man who’ll be putting him back together after whatever the hell you put him through, today and for the past ten years. I’m the man who will be coming up with words to help him through it. I’m the one who’s falling in love with your son because he’s the most beautiful soul I’ve ever met. And that’s despite you, not because of you.”

He raised his chin. “I’m aware of my own failures. They’re mine to deal with, and my son’s, so keep your hands to yourself and back up. You don’t know what’s made us this way.”

I shook my head, trying to keep myself calm. “I get that you all experienced something horrible, but it didn’t make you this way. You did. I can sympathize, but I won’t accept excuses. You’re a terrible father because of the decisions you’ve made for the past ten years. That’s on you and you’re going to stay the hell away unless he can somehow convince me that he wants you around. I highly doubt that’ll happen. It was an absolute pleasure to meet you, Mr. Densmore.”

Leaving him there, I started walking. I had no idea where West would be, but I assumed he would do exactly this. When I called him, it only rang twice before it went to voicemail. I sent him a few texts, even though I had no hope that he would respond. So, I just walked.

*****

Ten minutes after I left the hotel, I came across a park. It had a big field and some nice playground equipment. For some reason, I had a feeling about it, so I made my way over to it.

Legs were sticking out of a tunnel up on a play structure- much longer than a child’s limbs. I grabbed onto the bar to pull myself up and dropped to my knees above his head and looked down at him. He met my eyes only briefly before he pulled himself out of the tunnel and got to his feet. When he tried to brush by me, I latched onto his arm.

“Talk to me.”

“Nah. I just want to be alone. ”

“No.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m serious.”

“Is this when you push me away again?”

I’d expected it, of course. It was his go-to. I’d already decided not to let him do it anymore, but I felt more strongly about it after tonight. He wanted me enough to show the team that we were together. Running away wasn’t an option. West wasn’t a coward.

“Let’s go home,” I suggested. “Yours or mine, it doesn’t matter.”

“That’s where I’m headed. Alone.”

I raised a brow. “Stop with that shit.”

Anger contorted his features. This was better than when he was apathetic. It was a pain in the ass, but I could work with it.

“Just leave me alone,” he snapped. I blocked him from passing again, which only made him shove my chest. “Move.”

“No.”

“I’m done with this. It’s not worth my time.”

“Mm. I’d rather you just admit that you’re afraid, West.”

“Of you? That’s funny.”

“You said as much back at your place. I’ve never said that I wasn’t scared too. Can’t you see that you’ve completely changed everything for me? I’m begging you to stop pushing me away. Please,” I added when I worried he’d just leap over the edge and sprint off into the night.

“I can’t,” he said finally, dropping his gaze.

“You can.” I took either side of his neck. “Just try.”

“It wouldn’t change anything.”

He shoved me away with enough force to gain the space he needed to push through. I stared at his back, my jaw clenching.

“Don’t you dare walk away.”

He continued without pausing. No. No .

“You want someone to fight for you,” I called. “I know you do. You’re dying to be loved, so let me love you. Are you listening?”

Finally, he stopped. “What, Linc, are you saying you love me already?”

“No, but I’m saying I want you to give me the fucking chance.”

He whirled around and closed the distance between us. My heart raced and I was ready for him to finally give in, but he shoved me. He did it again, igniting my own frustration. I pushed him back and he fisted his hands at his sides.

“Leave me alone!” he shouted.

“No.”

“If you don’t go, I’m gonna hit you.”

I latched onto both of his wrists, holding them at his sides. “You’re not your dad, West. You’re not him. Look inside of yourself; don’t just react. Stop and think. What do you want right now? What do you need ?”

His nostrils flared. The tears in his eyes made the blue look like the ocean. Instead of waiting for him, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into me. He clutched the back of my shirt tightly and shook violently when he couldn’t hold back his pain anymore.

“I’m tired of being broken,” he cried. “Why does it still hurt that he doesn’t love me?”

I leaned back against the railing, still holding him to me. “Fuck him.” He laughed a little and nuzzled into my neck. “It’s not your fault. Everything he’s done to you is a reflection of his own issues. It has nothing to do with you. You needed this and I know it hurts, but I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, even if you want to hit me and yell at me.”

“I don’t want that.”

Pushing him back, I used my thumbs to wipe away some of his tears. “What do you want, baby?”

“I don’t know. Nothing. Everything. I don’t fucking know.”

“Do you want to be in this or not? You’re so terrified of me leaving you, but that’s what you’ve been trying to do to me this whole time. Want me to fight for you? I’ll fight, but if you don’t want that…”

His grip on me tightened. “Please stay with me. Don’t leave me.”

“I told you I’m here. I’m right here.”

His lip trembled as he nodded. When I moved in to kiss him, he stopped me. “I’m gonna get my stupid tears all over you.”

“I think I’ll survive.” I’d only just kissed him when he pulled back.

“Wait, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” I motioned for him to go on. “Now that we don’t hate each other, can we have that duel? Obviously, I’ll beat you, but I need official bragging rights and it’ll make me feel better. ”

“Damnit. Sure, but not tonight, you crazy bastard.”

I’d gotten myself into this mess, so I guess I’d have to roll with the punches. Ideally, that would become less literal as time went on, but I didn’t have high hopes.

*****

Kai’s parents were the most wholesome people I’d ever met. It was shocking, to be honest. Mine were amazing people and I’d always considered them the best in the world. They still held that title, but damn his were incredible.

It was sad to learn about his dad’s Alzheimer’s. I’d lost my parents at seventeen, but to watch your idol slowly deteriorate for your entire life was something entirely different. It made me respect Kai more, if I was being honest. He was just like them and even though I saw the pain when he was around them, he retained his spark and spread positivity everywhere he went. Unless you messed with someone he loved. Then, he was a force to be reckoned with. If me and West ever broke up- god forbid- I’d probably have to go into witness protection.

Eli came up to me in the kitchen and I smiled at him. He nodded toward the beer in my hand.

“That one’s my favorite.”

“Is it?” I asked. “West thinks it tastes like armpits.”

The way his eyes lit up when he laughed reminded me of his son. It was clear that he cared about West like he was his own child too. The way he interacted with them was beautiful to see.

West warmed up to my grandparents quickly and was currently waving his hands through the air while he told them a very exaggerated story about the game when his ribs got bruised. I was pretty sure he accused me of breaking them, but whatever. He could embellish it if he wanted to.

“I thought that one would be alone forever,” Eli noted.

Bringing the beer to my lips, I smiled. “Well, he’s a bit of a problem child.”

“That damn father of his.” He shook his head. “I hit him once.”

“Really? Should’ve done it a few more times.”

“You’re right. I like you, Lincoln. Will you play football with West when you go to college?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m gonna kick his ass at every practice. ”

“Everyone loves him. I know he’ll do great when he graduates.” He blew out a breath and shook his head. “It’ll be good for him to get out of his dad’s house. Will you help Kai take care of him? My son has a tendency to give too much of himself to make sure everyone else is okay. I’m afraid he got that from me. When he moves, I won’t be able to keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll make sure they both take care of themselves and each other.”

“Good, good. I love it about him, but I know from experience that being the fixer can wear you down. I don’t want him to lose that light.”

“We may have just met, but I can tell that you’re an incredible role model. I think he’s like you because he wants to be.”

He watched Kai kiss Sen with a smile. “He’ll do good out there in the world.”

After a minute, his brow furrowed. There was a look of confusion on his face. Savannah seemed to notice and came over to take his hand. I excused myself and slipped out the front door. It was dumb that my eyes were stinging right now.

I told West that I wasn’t a grief person. That was true to a point. Maybe it was my impending performance tomorrow or the overflow of familial love inside that apartment right now. The way Kai’s dad spoke about him made it hard not to think about my parents. I knew they’d be proud. I knew it with all of my heart, but to experience it…

The door opened behind me and I sniffed, trying to erase the evidence of my emotions. West wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed the side of my neck.

“Why are you acting like a bitch?” he asked.

I laughed and cursed myself when a tear came free from my eye. “It’s stupid. After everything that happened tonight, I have no right to throw a pity party for myself.”

“Sounds like some toxic masculinity bullshit. Be sad, don’t be sad. It’s allowed.”

“Says the one who tried to fight me in a playground earlier.”

“I’m above the law. I claim parental trauma.”

He was already joking about it. This guy would drop something disturbing about his childhood like it was funny all while eating a gallon of ice cream. The way he could do that was both insane and endearing in its own way .

“I don’t want you to go home,” he murmured in my ear.

“I’ll stay tonight.”

“You know, Sen and Kai decided to move in together after, like, two months.”

“That’s absolutely not happening, but you’re welcome to stay at my house three days each week.”

“Six.”

I laughed. “I like you, but I still enjoy my alone time, you know.”

“Unacceptable. If you’re gonna be with me, I demand all of your attention at all times, whenever I need it.”

When I turned around, he immediately smashed his mouth against mine. He licked the roof of my mouth like a weirdo and all but devoured me.

“Four,” I said.

“Five.”

With a sigh, I shrugged. “Fine, but I reserve the right to claim a mental health day once in a while.”

“Ugh. Whatever. You might as well admit that you hate me. It’s fine. I feel the same way.”

“Hate? Baby, we’ve already established that you don’t get to use that word anymore. You can’t resist me.”

He smiled against my mouth. “Watch me.”

He took a step back, then winked before he went back inside.

Fine. If he wanted me to chase him, I guess I had no choice. Maybe I didn’t mind all that much.