Reunion at Mistletoe Lodge (Sweet Colorado Romance #3)

6. CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6

Barb

Barb tightened her coat around herself as she left the warmth of the Lodge, the weight of everything that had happened pressing down on her. Barb felt guilty about leaving Heather alone with Charlotte for longer than expected, but Emily had drawn Barb into the intrigue of finding out what the Shields family was up to.

Starting with figuring out why it was so important for them to be here. Emily began their investigation by looking into the guest records of the past ten years. They had found that Liam had been to Mistletoe Lodge quite a few times over the past ten years. The most recent time before today was eleven months ago .

Liam had checked into the lodge and booked the chalet the Shields were staying in for four nights. He checked out the day before Zac was supposed to come back to Africa, which was the day Liam mentioned Zac had the accident and lost his memory.

Barb shuddered from the cold and the thought of how awful it must be to wake up with no memory of the present and think it was ten years ago. Didn’t he see the dates? Or maybe he’d lost ten years and just assumed the present was the past! Barb gave her head a shake, getting her brain tangled by trying to figure it out—how confusing it must be for Zac.

Her heart squeezed with compassion for Zac and felt heavy for whichever of the Shields brothers it really was that had lost his memory—it wasn’t anything to take lightly. Barb also felt for his family and even Courtney Waller—she must be just as confused, or maybe she was thrilled at getting Zac back. The thought zapped through her with a flame of jealousy in case it really was Zac who had been hurt—he was still Barb’s legal husband, the father of her daughter, and the new father to her son .

Thinking of Oscar brought a whole new turmoil of emotion to Barb’s already frayed system. How was she going to explain this all to her son? How do you tell a ten-year-old that the man he came to think of as his father didn’t know him? Because if Zac was stuck in the past, then Oscar wouldn’t have been born. Another thought hit Barb like a tidal wave—ten years ago, Zac had met Barb as Trevor’s fiance as they’d been partners in the FBI.

Barb was beginning to understand why Liam’s first thought when seeing Barb was to try and make her leave—Zac could get overwhelmed with information seeing Barb with a son… and… Her eyes widened—did the Shields family even know about Charlotte? Did Zac get any of her messages regarding his daughter?

The night had fully descended, and the cold, crisp air was a sharp contrast to the heated conversation she had just left. Barb’s boots crunched softly on the freshly shoveled path as she made her way toward Bungalow One. The resort grounds were eerily quiet, with only the gentle hum of the lights guiding her way.

The bungalows she could see peeking from behind the large barn in front of her had a soft glow around them, the lights barely piercing the darkness beyond, where the forest and orchard loomed like silent sentinels. Above, the stars glittered in the clear night sky, millions of them, like tiny pinpricks of light in the vast expanse of black.

Barb's mind was spinning, thoughts colliding and tumbling over each other. Liam—no, Zac—what had brought him here the week of the accident? Why had he lied about his identity? Emily believed Zac was protecting his brother, which Barb had to admit would be true because Zac told Barb that he and his brother would do anything for their family.

As she approached the barn that sat between the main lodge and the bungalows, Barb was hardly watching where she was going as she let her human autopilot guide her way. As she rounded the barn, lost in her thoughts, a hand shot out from the shadows, gripping her arm tightly and yanking her into the darkened interior.

Barb gasped, panic surging through her as a strong hand clamped over her mouth, silencing her scream. Her heart raced, beating frantically against her ribcage as she struggled, the cold fear gripping her body .

“Don’t panic,” a deep voice whispered urgently in her ear. “I’m not here to harm you. I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Zac Shields. I work with Trevor at the FBI. He introduced us a few weeks ago.”

Barb froze, her breath catching in her throat. Zac? She stopped struggling, her wide eyes searching the darkness.

“If I let you go, please don’t run or scream. I need to talk to you because you and Trevor are in danger.”

Barb nodded, and Zac slowly removed his hand from her mouth, allowing her to turn and face him.

In the dim light filtering through the cracks in the barn walls, Barb could just make out his face—tense, urgent, and unmistakably familiar. While he had the same eyes, the same hair, and the same face, she knew he wasn’t Zac. But Barb also saw that he really thought he was—Liam was not lying about that, nor the fact Zac thought it was ten years ago and Trevor was still alive!

“Zac?” she whispered, still reeling from the shock of seeing him like this.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Zac said, his voice low and filled with a desperation that sent a chill down her spine. “But I had to talk to you, and I couldn’t risk anyone else hearing us.” He gave her a tight smile. “I saw you from the chalet earlier going into the bungalow near it.” He glanced around them nervously. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Her brow creased as she looked at him with concern. “I’m here visiting my good friend for Christmas and New Year,” she explained.

“I hope Trevor’s not coming back here to join you?” Zac scraped his hand through his hair and started to pace. “How did he contact you?” His eyes searched hers. “Trevor wasn’t supposed to tell anyone he was still alive.” He put his hands on her arms, his voice filled with urgency. “He can’t be seen alive, Barb. Was it Trevor that sent word for you to meet him here?”

Alarm surged through Barb as she stared at Zac in confusion, trying to figure out if what he was saying was the truth or if Zac’s mind was playing tricks on him. Where does he think Trevor is ?

“Zac, where is Trevor?” Barb asked, deciding to go with where he led the conversation.

His head shot up, and his eyes widened as he stared at Barb. “I can’t tell you that, Barb.”

“Is Trevor still alive?” Barb knew she shouldn’t be pushing Zac. Liam hadn’t lied about his state of mind, and because of the way Zac was talking about Trevor, Barb was starting to doubt her resolve that Liam and Zac had done a twin swap. “Zac, I need to know.”

Zac watched her intently in the dim light of the barn for a few seconds. “I’m sorry, Barb, I’ve already told you too much.” He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Darn it.” He swore beneath his breath. “I can’t remember…” He hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. “I can’t remember.” He looked at her almost pleadingly. “I’m sorry, Barb.” He shook his head. “I’m not well. I got shot and lost my memory. It comes back to me in dribs and drabs.” He started rubbing his temples, and even in the dim light, Barb could see pain flash in them and knew he was giving himself a headache trying to conjure his memories. “When I saw you, the memory of having to get Trevor to safety came back to me, along with the crushing realization that you’re in danger and could potentially expose him, especially if you were here to find the disk.”

The pounding of Barb’s heart intensified at Zac’s words, and her eyes widened. Are they here looking for something Trevor hid ten years ago? Her brows creased some more as she tried to remember Trevor mentioning Mistletoe Lodge to her.

Zac started to pace again, muttering something she couldn’t quite hear. He stopped and walked toward her. “Barb, did Trevor give you anything the night before you were supposed to get married?” He snapped his fingers thinking. “Maybe a chunky piece of jewelry, a card, or any gift he could’ve used to hide a thumb drive or a map of where he’d hidden the information?”

“Is that why you and your brother are here?” Barb asked, ignoring Zac’s question.

“Don’t do that!” Zac’s eyes sparked with anger. “Don’t try to lead me away from my train of thought,” he accused. “I’m having a hard time as it is with all these pieces of my memories floating around in my head. It’s like my brain got smashed, and now I’m trying to piece it together one memory at a time.”

“I’m sorry!” Barb apologized and decided to answer his question. “No, he didn’t give me anything. It was the day before Valentine's Day because we were getting married on the most romantic day of the year.” She smiled, thinking about that day. “As we weren’t having a traditional wedding, Trevor wanted to make the day before our Valentine's Day.”

“Did he give you a gift or ask you to keep anything for him that day or the day of your wedding?” Zac’s eyes widened with excitement at the thought that she may have what he was looking for.

“Trevor and I never gave each other gifts,” Barb told him. “Dedicating the entire day to each other was our gift.”

“Did you go somewhere special?” Zac asked.

“We went to our favorite Italian restaurant on the waterfront near my apartment in Santa Barbara,” Barb told him. “After that, he walked me home, and we were supposed to meet at the courthouse at ten the next day, and that’s where you showed up to let me know the news that Trevor had been killed in the line of duty.”

A lump formed in her throat, and she fought back the tears the memory of that day had still brought her. Barb hadn’t even gone to Trevor’s funeral as she wasn’t allowed to—Zac had swooped into the courthouse and dragged her away from it to redeposit her in her new life in L.A., and she landed a position with the Holland Corporation.

She’d lived quite happily as the heartache of losing Trevor slowly subsided, replaced by the love for his son growing inside her. After that, Oscar had become Barb’s world until two years ago when her uncle found her and tried to get Giles Holland in trouble and killed.

That’s why Barb and Oscar had joined Heather and Giles Holland on the Clean Water Project in Africa. Zac had come along as the agent in charge of Barb and Oliver’s protection. She’d gotten as far away from America as she could until her uncle was caught and sent to jail for life .

Until Zac had gone awol nearly a year ago, Barb had thought her life was taking a turn for the better, only to be once again slapped down by fate, dragging her into another drama.

Her eyes drifted back to Zac, who was once again pacing anxiously in front of her. If he was really Zac, then he was the one in trouble, and Barb had no idea how to help him. Not that she was even supposed to be near him at all, but now Barb knew why Liam was so worried about him. Zac seemed to realize he had a problem, but he didn’t know which memories he’d lost. He seemed to be struggling with Trevor's memory.

Barb didn’t know if she should mention anything to Zac about her account of what happened to Trevor. Zac seemed to believe Trevor was still alive. It was a bit alarming because while she knew Zac was not well, he also had no inhibitions and seemed to be speaking his mind. Barb wasn’t sure if what he was saying was true and reminded herself once again that Zac wasn’t well.

But if Trevor is still alive… She gave herself a mental shake—no, that was not possible. Zac would’ve said something to her when they were together in Africa—or would he have? Her eyes narrowed on the man walking next to her. It seems he’d kept a heck of a lot more from her if what Zac was saying now about Trevor did turn out to be the truth, and by the look in Zac’s eyes… Barb was starting to have doubts about a lot of things.

Her heart grew heavier when Zac lifted his eyes to hers and came to stand in front of her. She could see the pain and confusion in his eyes. Barb felt for him.

“Barb, I know how hard it must be for you that we had to take Trevor from you.” He reached out and took her hands in his. “But it had to be done for both of your sakes. I can’t tell you the details of the case, but I need to ask you something. I hate bringing up terrible memories, especially since it’s only been two months since we had to take Trevor from you.”

Her brow creased, and her heart jolted at Zac’s words— since we had to take Trevor from you. Is Trevor still alive? Surely not! But Zac had basically said as much a few times to her already.

“Zac, please just tell me the truth!” Barb knew she shouldn’t be trying to get information from a man with a brain injury, but she needed to know. “If he is, what really happened to him?”

Zac stared into her eyes for a few seconds. “I can’t tell you that right now, Barb.” His voice was low, and he glanced around them again. “But soon.” He gave her a tight smile. “I’d better get back before someone comes looking for me. They can’t know about you, Barb, or that we spoke. We must act like we don’t know each other, or you could be in danger.” He pulled out his phone. “What’s your number? I’ll send you a message so you have my number in case you remember anything about Trevor leaving something for you.” He looked at her. “Or if you need my help.”

Barb swallowed, trying to figure out what to do. She’d promised Liam she wouldn’t go anywhere near Zac, but she was about to give him her number here.

“Barb?” Zac looked at her expectantly. “I promise you, I might have a little problem with my memory at the moment, but I promise you, I remember this quite clearly. In fact, it’s so vivid in my mind that day…” He closed his eyes for a few minutes as if trying to contain himself. “That day Trevor was shot. It’s like a video that’s been looped in my brain set to play whenever I close my eyes or have some alone time.”

“I’m so sorry this has happened to you,” Barb’s words were heartfelt, and she rattled off her number.

She watched as Zac typed it into his phone and then sent her a message. “There you have my number. Please, Barb, don’t hesitate to use it if you need to. I promised Trevor I’d look out for you.”

“Thank you,” Barb’s voice wobbled with emotion, and she felt like lead, and she needed to crawl into a dark corner to mull over the past couple of hours. “I’ll go out of the barn first and let you sneak out when I’m gone.”

Zac nodded. Barb gave him one last lingering look before turning and slipping out of the barn, hopefully, unnoticed by whoever Zac thought was watching them. A glance around showed no one as the world around her was still not even the insects chirped in the crisp winter air.

Twenty minutes later, Barb showered and curled up in her bed, with Charlotte lying in the crib beside her. She had pulled the crib into her room because she was exhausted from the trip from Africa, and her brain was completely taxed by everything that had happened since arriving at the resort.

All she wanted to do was let herself drift into sleepy oblivion for at least ten hours, but she knew she had about four until Charlotte woke up for a feed. Barb lay on her side, looking at her beautiful baby girl through the slats of the crib. She was sleeping so peacefully now that they were not in an airplane. There were nights when Charlotte slept right through, and a pediatrician had told her to let her sleep and not wake her if she didn’t want to wake up.

Barb had to stop herself from getting up and putting Charlotte in bed beside her as a wave of loneliness and sorrow hit her. When she felt like she was missing Zac, Barb found holding her kids helped. But Oscar was having a sleepover, and Charlotte needed to get back into her routine, which had been disturbed because of the flight.

Barb sighed, closed her eyes, and let her mind drift back to the night before her wedding. She’d been so excited as she and Trevor had gone to the Italian restaurant. They’d spent the evening staring into each other’s eyes and speaking about everything and anything. They did that. Trevor was a brilliant man. He’d studied astronomy and astrophysics before joining the FBI to follow in his late father's footsteps.

Like her, Trevor had no other family. He’d been an only child. His mother was in the military and had died in the line of duty, and his father had had a heart attack four years before they’d met. They’d fallen in love when he’d showed up at the safe house. Barb and her parents had been holding up there after they’d given evidence and were waiting to testify against her mother’s younger and older brothers.

The younger brother had been killed in prison, but the day before her uncle, Jason, was about to be tried, her parents were gunned down in front of her on the way to the courthouse. Trevor had taken Barb and run, moving her to a new location where she’d changed her name and taken his last name. The week before they got married, Trevor and Barb had spoken about their future. They’d made a pact that if her uncle wasn’t imprisoned for good within a month of their marriage, they were moving to another country .

He’d also told her that because of the danger of his job, he’d made sure that if he were married when he died and hadn’t had kids yet, he’d ensure his wife would have a child if that’s what she wanted. Trevor had grown up as an only child, watching how it had devastated his parents when they couldn’t have more kids. He wanted at least three, and because of his job, he wanted to make sure he’d at least have a backup plan to carry on his line. He was also worried that he may be like his father when it came to that, so he decided to ensure his family's future.

They had both wanted at least three kids. Barb’s mouth turned into a smile thinking about that conversation. It was a conversation that had helped heal her heart after he, too, was taken from her. Thanks to her mother’s side of the family, Barb had some contacts who forged a marriage certificate for her. Trevor had told her about the clinic he’d used, and she’d gone there with her marriage certificate and Trevor's will, which had provisions in it.

The clinic had been so friendly they’d done the procedure for her, and nine months later, Oscar was born to continue Trevor’s legacy. Barb’s little bundle of joy and the little person who saved her life and mended Barb’s broken heart. Her eyes opened and landed on Charlotte—now she had another bundle of joy who had helped her and Oscar over losing Zac.

Thinking of Oscar sent another surge of pain through her heart. What am I going to tell him? The truth, her subconscious answered. Or at least as much and as close to it as you can get without bringing in the details Oscar did not need to know. Barb sighed as her eyes started to feel heavy, and her mind slowly shut down to give in to sleep. As she hit the cozy drifting sensation, her phone bleeped.

Barb thought to ignore it for a few seconds, but Oscar was staying with Emily, and it might be an emergency. She picked her phone up and frowned when she saw a message from Zac.

I remember what Trevor said: Ask Barb for bubbles.

Barb’s tired mind started at the message, thinking that Zac really was ill when it hit her, and her eyes widened in realization. Another memory of hers and Trevor's last night flashed through her mind. They had just gotten to her front door when Trevor had given her a present—a silver and gold teddy bear with jeweled eyes holding a heart that said, " Keep me with you forever!"

The bear had a name engraved beneath him—Bubbles. Trevor had made her promise to always keep bubbles close to her. Not only was the bear a valuable antique and family heirloom, but Bubbles was also a representation of Trevor's heart and love for her. Her eyes widened, and her heartbeat quickened as she hopped out of bed and went to her small jewelry box.

There wasn’t much in there. Just Barb’s mother and father's wedding rings, her mother’s locket, and her father's antique watch he’d gotten from his father, as well as a few other items alongside Bubbles.

Barb took the small box over to the bed and sat on it. Switching on her bedside light, she moved the items covering the little gold bear that fitted in the palm of her hand. Barb held it up to the light. It was heavy for its size, but it was made of gold and silver. She examined it. The little bear's head could turn, and its arms moved. But as far as she could see, there were no seams with which to open the bear. Not even beneath its feet where the name was engraved.

She shook it, but nothing rattled inside it. Zac must’ve been mistaken unless there was another clue about the ornamental bear she was seeing. Yawning, Barb decided she’d give it a better examination in the morning and locked it in the safe in the bungalow’s closet with her jewelry box. That was a problem for tomorrow. Barb was going to catch some sleep while she could. This time, when she drifted off, she fought with herself over another dilemma—did she tell Liam about her impromptu meeting with Zac?