Riffs That Ruin (Survival Records #2)

19. Raina

A fter a shower and clean clothes, I’m ready to find the bus and get the hell out of the city. The quicker the better before the drugs come out in even greater force than it has been. New York City has always been a place that I’ve got fucked up the most. I hate to admit it, but I have multiple stretches of days blacked out from my memory.

Perhaps it’s my brain protecting my sanity from knowing what went on during that time, or perhaps it’s simply the result of mixing so many drugs together there was no possible way to come up from it.

In either case, I don’t need the temptation around, not that I feel the need to escape much anymore. Not with my men here. Not with the changes I’m working toward. That dark, empty place doesn’t seem to be sucking me in any longer.

Speaking of, I wish they could have stayed with me. Instead, we split off into men’s and women’s facilities. A desire not to start any rumors right now is the guiding force. I still can’t believe I agreed to the fake flirting performance piece with Darius. If I was in one of the romances I’ve been reading, then I would be one step away from the fake dating trope.

My final costume for the night falls from the hanger as I hastily grab it, making me groan as I hang it back up, and then gather the rest of my things. I listen for a moment to the sounds outside before I flick the lock, not wanting to get swarmed by fans unexpectedly. It’s happened before, and it’s terrifying when you don’t realize it’s coming. The door creaks as I open it, and I almost immediately wish I had hung out for a few more minutes instead of letting my desire to find the guys guide me.

“Raina, there you are. Always slacking off.” Alyssa’s voice reaches me, my hand instinctively curling into a fist until my nails bite into my palm. She had to be waiting for me to open the door. “There’s a mandatory party tonight. If you’re not there, we will be forced to follow through with consequences.”

I love how she didn’t specify what they would be. Opening my mouth to respond, I’m cut off before a sound can even slip out.

“There’s nowhere in my client’s contract dictating mandatory parties, nor a clause allowing anything to be spontaneously added, much less a vague threat of noncompliance. Shame on you, Alyssa, for trying to belittle your talent and force them into something with bold face lies.”

Have I mentioned how much I love my new manager? Pretty sure I have heart eyes for her any time she opens her mouth. Total girl crush material. Too bad I love my men so much. Can’t give them up for anything.

Alyssa’s face turns red, and she opens and closes her mouth, looking like a puffer fish with how her cheeks blow out. She glances between us before letting out a grunt and spinning on her heel, storming off without another word.

“I can’t stand that woman.” Izzy shakes her head, watching Alyssa’s retreating back.

“Same, sister. Same,” I mumble, still basking in the memory of what happened. I really have a hidden vindictive side when it comes to people who make my life hell, I suppose.

“She’s been trying to shut down everything I do, but has no idea what she’s doing. I’ve thrown logic into her face so many times over the past several days that I’ve lost count.” She runs her hand over her suit dress. “Enough about her, I came to let you know that I finished getting everyone to sign a new NDA. If we have any leaks, this is ironclad and we can go after them. You still need to be careful in case there’s someone like a fan who sneaks through who hasn’t signed one though, so keep that in mind.”

“Got it,” I say, giving her a broad smile. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s what I’m here for, Raina. I’m sorry this hasn’t been your experience until now.” She gets a call and presses the button on the side of her phone to silence it, keeping her attention on me. “We have a five day break before needing to be in Boston. I’ll keep working on my list of things, but I wanted to check in to see if you needed anything else first. I assume you’ll be escaping for a bit.”

“I’m actually not sure what the plans are, but I’ll make sure you know where I am and can contact me if you need to.” I glance to my side and find the band striding up the corridor, including Darius. Images of the glances we shared on stage come to mind. I didn’t need to be an outside observer to know anyone watching could feel sexual tension hanging in the air between us.

It’s all fake.

“Excellent,” Izzy says, holding out her hand. “Why don’t you give me that and I’ll make sure it gets back to wardrobe. Get going with your band while you can. I wouldn’t put it past Alyssa to find a way to let the fans swarm the bus.”

I wince, knowing she’s right. We really should escape while we can. “See you in Boston,” I call over my shoulder, already moving to meet my guys.

“We were wondering what was taking you so long, roomie!” Nash’s voice has a flirty undertone, which is no surprise since he’s always been that way. He uses it with Blake so frequently that no one would think anything of him using it with me.

“Ready to go?” Blake asks, raising an eyebrow.

Reaching them, Nash throws his arm around my shoulders and tucks me into his side. I let out a happy little sigh, not realizing how much I wanted the simple touch.

“Yeah, we need to get on the bus before Alyssa retaliates.” He raises an eyebrow. “Izzy put her in her place and she left in an embarrassed huff.”

Darius lets the others pass, but he eyes the way Nash is holding me and gives an obvious clearing of his throat. “I hate this,” Nash pouts, sliding his arm free. “Bestie, come back here, let me put my arm around you!”

He chases after Blake and Keaton, throwing his arms around them both, much to Keaton’s surprise.

“I know this is fake, but we should keep it up at all times, no?” Darius asks, his hands shoved into his pockets, looking cool as fuck. But there’s a tension in the way he holds his arms tightly to the sides of his body. Like he’s waiting for my denial.

“Yeah,” I whisper, drawing out his sexy smile as he fully relaxes.

“Come on, I don’t bite. Not unless my cock is buried deep inside you. Then maybe I’ll bite.” He wraps his arm around my hips as he says it, his hand coming around to hold me tightly pressed against him.

My pussy throbs at the thought, my mouth dropping open at how much of a whore she is, and I stop in my tracks. He has such a firm grip that he stops too, laughing at my reaction. “Don’t look at me like that. I had to say something unexpected. Couldn’t go with the hard retort or unless you ask . Loosen up, Raina. Nobody will believe you if you don’t act like you want to be in my arms. We should be able to joke, and at the very least act like friends.”

“Friends?” I question, not really believing him. I really think deep down he wants something more with me, even if my distrustful nature thinks he has ulterior motives.

“Yeah, friends.” He cocks his head to the side, studying me. “I’d really like to be your friend, Raina.” His words are so soft and earnest, it tugs at my heart, and I can’t bring myself to question him on my suspicions.

I give him a coy smirk. “Maybe.”

“Sweetheart,” he says, his palm moving to his chest. “Don’t do me dirty like that.”

This time we both laugh, and somehow a weight seems to lift, making it lighter between us. I bump into his side playfully, and we round a corner, catching up to the others. They eye us, but continue on like they don’t find anything concerning. It helps me relax even more. I don’t want them to ever distrust me because of this fake dating bullshit. People who jump to conclusions suck.

“So what’s the plan? We have five days, what are we doing with them?” Darius asks.

Keaton slips behind us, not wanting to leave my back unprotected. It makes my heart warm in appreciation. It’s nice to know he cares so much about me. Even when another man that he doesn’t even really know has his arm around me.

“We have time to decide. We’ll have to wait for the driver to show up, and I’m not sure when that will be.”

Nash glances behind him between me and Darius. “Somewhere private,” he answers. “Where we won’t have to worry about fighting off fans.”

I owe that man some cuddles, it’s clear he’s missing me. It’s not like things were at the beach house.

“Let’s take The Storm a little north. I know there has to be a good campground we can stay at. I’ve heard upstate New York is beautiful,” Darius suggests.

“That would get us the privacy we would like if we’re careful,” Nash says, surprisingly agreeable to the idea.

“No distractions,” Keaton adds, giving his approval.

“Nash did commit you to writing new songs,” Blake points out.

“Us,” Nash corrects. “It’s not only on Raina. I plan on making sweet music with our girl.”

Darius coughs, covering up the end of Nash’s statement as we pass a roadie. When I look at him, he winks at me, making my heart flutter and my stomach flip. He protected my relationship with the guys so quickly, without a second thought, probably getting his suspicions confirmed in the process.

We make it to the end of a hallway, where a security guy nods our way and says something into an earpiece. He’s the serious kind, not giving a smile, or even a hint of breaking his composure. His type is my favorite. I actually feel like I won’t get accosted by fans when someone with his demeanor is around, and I can only hope whoever is on the other side of the door is the same.

After a moment, he opens the door, and it’s clear the security team was prepared for our exit on the other side. It seems to be in total order, none of the lingering fans that are typical, only a couple of venue photographers with staff written in large block letters on their backs.

A sigh of relief washes through me. I really was worried after Alyssa ran off the way she did. We climb onto the bus, Nash flopping onto the couch first thing. “Cuddle pile!” he cheers in his overly obnoxious way.

Before I realize he’s doing it, Darius climbs onto the driver’s seat and turns the keys that were hanging in the ignition. “What are you doing?”

He glances at me from over his shoulder. “Getting us out of here. You don’t trust your old manager, which means I don’t either. Let’s not risk it.” He shrugs and adjusts the seat before checking the side mirrors.

“You know how to drive this beast?” I ask, a little dumbfounded. I wouldn’t in a million years try to navigate this thing down a deserted country road, much less the streets of New York City.

“I’m a man of many talents. You might learn some of them if you get to know me.”

I frown, knowing he’s right. I haven’t even attempted to be friendly, haven’t asked him anything about himself, in fact, I’ve done everything I can to avoid him when possible.

He meets my gaze and winks. “Find yourself a seat, sweetheart. I don’t want to be known as the man who damaged pop star royalty.”

Nash sneaks up behind me, and suddenly his arm wraps around my waist, tugging me against his chest. “I wasn’t kidding about the cuddle pile. You’re not escaping this time.” He drags me back to the couch, falling into a pile of decorative pillows mixed with pillows from the bunks.

Keaton moves in, sitting on the edge of the couch near my feet, his expression more relaxed now that we’re all together. There’s something grounding about him just being close, and I sink further into the cushion, letting out a soft breath.

“Blake, you good back there?” Darius calls from the front.

“I’m good,” he answers, appearing from the back bedroom carrying a large soft blanket from my bed. He settles on the other side of Nash, leaving me with my three guys. This is how I want to finish off every night of performing, simply relaxing with my favorite people. All that’s missing is Tristan. I don’t understand how we haven’t been able to find any trace of him.

The bus shifts as Darius puts it in gear and takes his foot off the brake. We’ve probably only made it 50 feet before we’re jerked as he slams the pedal to the ground, stopping us. “Bloody hell.”

A second later we hear the cheers of a swarm of fans, I can only imagine they are gathering around the bus. I know mob mentality isn’t the smartest, but it always baffles me when this happens. What do they think will happen? I’ll let some of them on the bus? I’ll come out and see them? It doesn’t make sense.

“Don’t worry, security is already working on wrangling them. I hope we get a clear path before more show up though,” Darius updates us.

I sigh, leaning my head back against Nash’s shoulder. The weight of the day, the show, and the constant buzz of being in the public eye starts to creep in. I try to ignore the growing noise of the fans outside, but it’s hard when all I want is peace for a few minutes. Just a little time to breathe without the pressure of performing.

Darius really nailed it when he suggested we escape to the wilderness. No people. No responsibilities. A chance to unplug and focus on the music… it sounds absolutely perfect.

Nash brushes a hand through my hair, his fingers tracing lightly down my neck. “Relax. They’ll handle it.”

“I know, but it doesn’t make it any less exhausting.” I close my eyes for a moment, wishing for a world where things could go my way just once.

Keaton, ever the calm one, taps my foot lightly with his sticks, his beat grounding me even more.

Blake reaches for my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You got this. You’ve handled a lot worse than a few overzealous fans.”

I manage a small smile at that. He’s right. I’ve faced worse—far worse. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get overwhelming. Sometimes it feels like I’m constantly teetering on the edge, just waiting for the next thing to knock me off balance.

“Here,” Blake says, pulling the blanket over us. “We’ll stay cozy while we wait. No point stressing over what we can’t control.”

I lean into him, letting the warmth of the blanket and the closeness of the guys settle over me. They’ve become my anchor, giving me a sense of escape when everything else feels like it’s spinning out of control. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Nash nuzzles into the back of my neck, his breath warm against my skin. “Let’s make a pact. No matter how crazy things get, we always end the night like this. Just us.”

“Agreed,” Keaton murmurs, his hand resting on my leg, the quiet strength of his presence calming my racing thoughts.

“Sounds perfect to me,” Blake adds, his voice a little muffled as he pulls the blanket up higher.

Darius, still focused on the road ahead, glances back in the rearview mirror. “I’m not sure I’m invited, but you can count me in, too. Once we get out of here, it’ll just be us and the open road.”

I smile to myself, finally feeling the tension in my chest release. Despite everything, despite the chaos and the constant pressure, I have them. And as long as I do, I can handle anything.