Riffs That Ruin (Survival Records #2)

23. Raina

I cy coldness wraps around me the moment I step out of the bus. Sometimes it’s hard to remember the weather outside when you’re in a comfy environment. But that doesn’t replace being in such a peaceful place like this.

Trees surround me, and after taking a deep breath, the scent of pine makes me relax. There’s something about it that tugs the stress away from my shoulders. Probably because I’ve never been able to enjoy nature like this. Alone, without having to worry about fans rushing at me.

“You going to move, sweetheart?” A beanie unexpectedly hugs my head, sinking over my ears to warm me. “There, that’s better. Can’t have my favorite star turning into a popsicle.”

Having him so close to my back makes me instinctively step forward. We aren’t in the spotlight here, so I shouldn’t let him be that intimate, he isn’t one of my boyfriends, even though his heat felt so damn good.

Snow crunches under my shoes as I step to the ground. I know it doesn’t have a scent, but my brain sure wants to tell me it does. There’s a special crispness whenever there’s snow that you don’t get any other time.

I run his words through my mind again and give a delayed scoff. “You’re already in the band, Dare. No need to suck up to me.”

“Can’t deny I love it when you shorten my name like that.” He chuckles under his breath with the way I bristle at his flirtiness. “And I’m not blowing smoke up your fine ass, it’s true.”

“You can say it all you like, I won’t believe you,” I say and immediately kick myself for the teasing tone in my voice. I shouldn’t encourage him.

“Does this look like I’m lying?” He opens his jacket and flannel to show his usual band T-shirt underneath. I barely give it a glance at first and have to do a double take. There, covering his sculpted chest, is the image that was only used during my first year of touring and was only available to my fan club.

Planting my hands on my hips, I face him with a no business expression on my face. “Darius Thompson, did you steal that from your little sister?”

He laughs, and the sound sends those stupid butterflies flapping in my stomach. “I’m an only child, Raina Lexington. We have that in common.”

Before I’m able to give him a response, the others exit the bus. “Burr, it’s cold out here,” Nash says with a hint of a whine in his voice. “Come warm me up, baby girl.”

I can’t help but laugh when he nuzzles his freezing nose into my neck and sniffs at my hair. “Get out of here,” I giggle, pushing him away. “You’re supposed to be keeping me warm, not the other way around.”

“I’ll keep you warm, sweetheart,” Darius yells out. “I already turned on the patio heaters for you and, as I said before, started a stack of wood for the fire.”

“Stop hitting on my woman,” Keaton growls, pointing his sticks at Darius.

“Yeah, man. It’s not cool. We’ll put up with it in the public eye for Raina’s image, but not here.” Blake wraps his arm around me.

Nash suddenly glances back and forth between me and Darius. “Hey! Why are you matchy-matchy? You should be doing that with me!”

“I’ll do my best to back off, but let her wear the beanie, it’ll keep her warmer.” Darius holds his hands up like he’s signaling for peace. “But you might want to prepare yourself for us having to perform for the camera. It would be suspicious if there wasn’t anything couple-like in our posts.”

“Remind me why we brought him along,” Nash whispers to me.

I give him a stern look and move to the circle of seats that are situated around a fire pit. We’re probably fucking nuts to try working out here, but honestly, I need the connection to something real in this world right now. Nothing better than nature to get the job done. Although, next time we should probably spend the time driving to some place a little warmer.

Darius sets up his phone on a tripod and uses mine on another one to get another angle. I can’t believe we’re doing this, my stomach cramps with nerves, but there’s also a slight thread of excitement there too.

“Alright, guys, let’s get this fire started,” Darius says, rubbing his hands together. “Then we need to get more wood ready to go. We’ll burn through a lot trying to keep the cutest one in our bunch warm.”

A grin pulls at my lips, and I quickly blow him a kiss, knowing we need to pretend like we’re a couple in some shots. It’s what I would’ve done if Nash was the one to say it.

“Okay, so who’s going to start it?” Blake asks, eyeing the fire pit like it might jump out at him. He notices me watching and gives a half smile. “I love how you forget I grew up with privilege. I’ve never had to start a fire myself.”

He’s right, I do forget. But it makes me think of Tristan and how he’d jump right in and start one up if he was here. I can’t begin to count the times he’d start one to keep me warm when we were kids. My parents were constantly gone doing “god’s work” as if that was an excuse to neglect their child.

Damn it. Where is that asshole?

As if reading my mind, Blake tucks me closer into his side and kisses my temple. “We’ll find him. It’s only a matter of time.”

“I know. But my gut is telling me something isn’t right. It’s not normal that we wouldn’t be able to find him. Not with our resources.” I rest my head on his shoulder, soaking up all the comfort and warmth he’s offering.

“Got it,” Keaton says, bending a knee and piling the wood exactly right before lighting the kindling on fire.

As we all huddle around the fire pit, I reach out to the flames, feeling the heat lick at my fingertips. With the patio heaters situated around us, it’s not that horrible out here. I move to a seat and settle in, smiling at Blake as he drapes a blanket over my lap. It reminds me of the time I listened to him play to the ocean at the beach house.

God, that feels like forever ago.

“Okay, let’s get going on that wood chopping show Raina wants from us, shall we?” Darius claps his hands together, directing the guys on his vision for the video.

My drummer stands and brushes his hands together to dislodge the remaining debris from starting the fire. Keaton seems to be more outdoorsy than I initially thought, but I’m digging the idea. His drumsticks in his back pocket and a Henley hugging his muscles… all that’s missing is a flannel to complete a woodsman look.

Freaking yum.

Nash grins, rolling his shoulders in mock preparation. “Gonna get my lumberjack on,” he says, grabbing the axe with one hand and flexing the other.

Blake chuckles from beside me, leaning in to whisper. “Who knew chopping wood could turn into an episode of Hot Bandmates Gone Wild ?”

“Shut up,” I giggle, nudging him with my elbow.

Nash smirks, adjusting his stance near the pile of wood, ready to put on a show. “You might want to stay seated for this one, roomie. Things are about to get steamy.” His teasing tone sends a warmth through my chest that has nothing to do with the fire pit.

I lean back in my seat, raising my brow. “You boys better deliver.”

The banter between us lightens the mood even more, and as Keaton lifts the axe with surprising ease, I can’t help but feel lucky to be surrounded by people who make everything feel like home—even in the middle of nowhere.

F ilming the band chopping wood was more fun than I expected. It felt like the guys really relaxed and even let Darius in a little, letting him join in on their back and forth jokes and light hearted competition. They were even calm as he wrapped his arms around me, “showing me the proper way to hold an axe.”

“Hey,” Nash whispers softly in my ear, pulling me from my thoughts. He rubs his hands up and down my arms, his touch familiar and warm. “You ready for this?”

I relax into his hold, taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly. “No.”

He spins me around and studies me for a second before tucking my hair behind my ears. “Talk to me. What has you so tense?”

“What doesn’t?” Abruptly, the weight of the world seems to land on my shoulders. It’s too much for one person. “Tristan is gone. There’s trouble brewing at the label. Now I need to give them a new song and I don’t think any of these are good enough.” I hold up my notebook.

“Did Izzy tell you something?” Concern clouds his eyes, and he glances over his shoulder as if he’s about to call the others over here.

“No, no,” I say quickly, not wanting him to get them. “It’s a gut feeling. Years of experience and knowing the wrath Dickless is capable of when he doesn’t get his way.”

“We’ll be here for anything he throws our way. We’ll tackle it together.” He gives me that slanted smile that I love so much, warming my heart more than any fire could. “Now on to your other worries. The song I read was freaking amazing. Why are you selling yourself short?”

My heart pounds in my chest, a rhythm that can’t be healthy. “These songs… They’re deeply personal. Like really, really deep.”

“Like I was in your pussy this morning?” His lips split into a shit eating grin. I gasp and smack his shoulder, making him laugh and jump away. “Sorry, baby. Just trying to lighten the mood.”

“Ugh. So rude, Nash!” I cross my arms over my chest, but I can’t help the wobble of my lips as I fight a smile.

“Okay, on a serious note. Aren’t all of your songs deep on some level? You haven’t shied away from talking about painful breakups.” He grabs me by the hips and draws me to him until our bodies are flush.

“Not like this. I wrote most of them when I was in rehab. I can’t bear to touch the ones about Tristan coming back in my life, especially with him gone again, and—” I cut off, glancing down as a blush heats my cheeks. “And I can’t share the ones about crushing on my band.”

Nash lifts my head with a finger under my chin. “You write songs about me, baby?”

“What’s that?” I yell over my shoulder. “Yeah, I’m coming.” I run away from Nash before he can get any answers from me, but he growls and chases me. His arms wrap around me before I can reach Keaton across the clearing of our campground where he’s dropping a log in front of a chair.

“Got you now, you little tease,” Nash says, lifting me off the ground.

“Help me!” I reach my arms out for Keaton, but Nash spins me and I lose sight of him. “Noooo!”

Suddenly, I’m dropped in a pile of snow, the drastic temperature difference has an instant shiver running down my spine and igniting a shriek of laughter from me. I twist on the ground, watching as Nash falls back on his butt away from me, unable to control his own delight. Blake and Keaton don’t waste any time joining in on the snow fight.

“Oh, you’re going to get it!” I pick up some snow, quickly packing it into a ball before tossing it in Nash’s direction, who’s trying to scoot backward from me. It hits him square in the chest with a satisfying thump.

I can see Keaton reaching out to help me up, but I wave him away, encouraging him to join the fray instead. He’s hesitant, which surprises me. It’s not like he’s not fun, but I guess he does have a measure of distance between him and everyone else with how he doesn’t talk much.

After pausing for a moment, he crouches and gathers snow in his big hands. That’ll be an icy surprise for someone. But it won’t be me! I scramble behind a tree, my laugh trailing behind me.

As I glance around the trunk, I find Darius standing off to the side of the chaos. He watches us with that chiseled smirk of his playing at his lips, finding joy in our antics, yet still on the outskirts, not invited in. A twinge of guilt tugs at me, but I’m distracted by exploding snow as a ball hits the tree I’m peeking around.

Cold envelopes my hands as I scoop my next ball and aim for the first person I see. It’s a free-for-all snow fight. I’m not sure any of us pick a specific target, we simply let them fly through the air.

Our laughter echoes off the trees surrounding us until we stop out of exhaustion, all of us sprawled on the ground covered in snow and gasping for breath.

Nash pushes himself up from where he had fallen and reaches his hand out to me, lifting me to my feet. His hands brush over my clothes, trying to get as much snow off as possible even though it’s already soaked through to my skin.

Blake wiggles to get the icy flakes out of his clothes where they fell down his shirt. His glasses have wet droplets clinging to the lenses. He takes them off, eyeing the glass carefully and shaking his head. So fucking handsome.

My drummer runs his hand over his hair, his fohawk gaining an all new texture to it with the strands clinging together. I’m a seriously lucky girl. I’m not sure what I did to earn myself a group of men who are perfect for me, but I’m thankful for it.

Fingers land under my chin, redirecting my attention. Nash licks his lip ring before giving me a panty melting smirk. “Are you done procrastinating yet?”