Rise of a Fallen Man (A Look in the Mirror #2)

Chapter 8

Salas

I ’d taken my eyes off Ari for a mere second, just to reply to Regit’s question about the healing witch who had treated me. But when I glanced again at the couch where she’d been sitting with the games master, Ari was no longer there.

I hadn’t expected her to come here today. They said the princess had only come to the gladiators’ quarters once, years ago, and she hadn’t stayed for long.

The urge to believe she was here because of me was too strong to resist, but it was a dangerous path to take. Three high-born princes vied for Ari’s attention. Soon enough, one of them would become her husband. The best I could do for my sanity was to stay away from the crown princess.

Yet I’d lasted only for a minute in the room without her. The pull to go after Ari was so strong, I feared it would wrench my heart out of my chest if I didn’t follow.

As soon as Regit and Naeco got distracted by a new group of fine ladies arriving at the party, I headed for the door.

A servant passed by with four empty wine bottles on his tray.

“I’ll take them out,” I volunteered, grabbing the bottles off the tray and leaving the room before anyone could stop me.

The central hallway was deserted.

Did she leave already?

It’d be for the best for both of us if she did. But sadness gripped my heart so hard, I was ready to run all the way to the palace after her.

I walked along the corridor to the corner with the bathroom, then turned, unsure what to do next.

At the end of the east-wing hallway, I spotted a flash of her royal-blue dress between the burgundy drapes of the stained-glass window. The rain clouds darkened the afternoon from silver gray to charcoal. With the scone lights off, the hallway descended into a soft semi-darkness. I wouldn’t have noticed Ari kneeling in the window seat had I not been looking for her.

Everything inside me reached out to her. My arms ached to hold her. Setting the empty bottles down by the wall, I walked toward her. But she wasn’t mine to hold. The only right thing to do would be to turn around and leave.

Turned with her back to me, she stood on her knees on the window seat cushion, her forehead pressed to the glass. Dressed in a formal gown with a voluminous skirt and a high collar, the tall crown gracing her swept up hair, Ari looked every bit the princess. Only I’d long learned to look beyond wealth and status.

I saw her shoulders rising and falling with her rapid, shallow breathing. I noticed her hands splayed on the window. Her fingers shifted subtly on the glass, as if searching for purchase to anchor her while she was being swept into her sorrow.

I knew her well enough to see that she was hurting, and I couldn’t stand watching her in pain, especially since I knew exactly how to comfort her.

I walked closer until there was almost no distance left between us, until I could smell her perfume and feel the warmth of her body. The unconquerable need to touch her blinded all my senses, including common sense. I splayed a hand on the side of her waist.

“Ari...” Her name left my lips like a sigh of longing.

Sparks of thrill rushed up my arm from the place where my hand lay on her body. I might’ve given Ari her first time, but she had given me so many firsts too.

Before her, women had been my work, my torment, or my survival. None of them had ever been the source of the elation I felt with her. She made my heart soar.

She could pull away, tell me off, or even slap me. With our arrangement now complete, I lost every right to touch her. But with a shuddering breath, she leaned into my chest, and I let go of common sense completely. With both arms wrapped around her waist, I hugged her to me from behind.

She relaxed against me with a deep sigh of relief, as if she’d just been waiting for my hug to release her from whatever had been bothering her.

Leaning to her neck, I breathed her in, searching for the scent of her skin beneath her expensive perfume. She moaned softly, gripping my hands. It felt so right to hold her, as if she belonged right here, in my arms.

All thoughts deserted me as I let my feelings guide me. I kissed her skin, tasting it on my tongue, but the more she let me have of her, the more I needed.

Trailing my kisses along her shoulder, I tagged down the starched lace of her collar to free more of her skin for me to kiss. She tilted her head, granting me better access. It thrilled me how pliable she was in my hands, how her body seemed to melt into my touch. Blood rushed both to my head and my groin.

I yanked at the lacing on the back of her gown, loosening it in a desperate need to feel her body.

“Salas...” She turned around to face me, and my heart all but broke.

Unshed tears glistened in her hazel-green eyes.

I took her face between my hands. “Ari, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Are you happy here?” she asked, touching the gladiator’s ring on my finger. “Did you ever want to be a gladiator?” She exhaled a bitter laugh. “I’m sorry. I know I should’ve asked this question much earlier.”

I kept my hands on her. There wasn’t a power in the world that would pry me away from her now. But I forced my mind to think about her question.

Happiness was a fairy tale, a myth that people chased just to have some purpose in life. But I didn’t hate the arena. Most of my life, I’d seen hatred and scorn from people. Hearing cheers instead of taunts proved uplifting and invigorating, almost intoxicating at times.

“I’m glad to be here,” I admitted.

“But, you got hurt...” With a shuddered breath, she touched my left arm just below the bandage. “I messed up. Again. I meddled in your life, and now—”

“Shh. Hush, Princess.” I stroked her cheeks with my thumbs, stopping her self-loathing. “You simply gave me more options than I’d ever had before. Ultimately, the choice was mine.”

Unlike with many others, with Ari, I always had a choice. She might’ve opened the door to the arena for me, but I’d entered through it on my own.

I smiled. “I always knew it was you, my true benefactor.”

“And look where it got you.” She shook her head, inconsolable. “Are you in pain? How bad is it?” She hovered her fingers over the bandage on my arm.

I shrugged. “It’s just a scratch.”

Three scratches, to be exact. The one in the middle was so deep, the bear’s claw scraped against the bone in my arm. There was also another bandage on my back where the lion had clawed through the bearskin and tore my flesh. The third bandage covered my hip under the rugs of the loincloth that Naeco had put on me.

Of course, Ari didn’t need to know about them all. The gladiators’ healing witch proved to be a true master of her craft. The numbing potions and the healing ointments she’d used made the wounds feel like mere scratches now.

The concern on Ari’s face didn’t ease, however.

“I’ll send my mother’s witch to check on you,” she promised. “You’ll get the best care there is in Rorrim. And if anything is needed from overseas, I’ll figure out a way to get it too.” She drew in a heavy sigh, unshed tears glistening in her eyes, brighter than the diamonds around her neck. “This should not have happened. Did something go wrong with that bear? Please tell me this wasn’t planned. You don’t have to go through it again, do you?”

This was what proved the most irresistible about Ari—her compassion. She cared about me while I had long forgotten what it felt like to be cared about.

Turning down sex was easy. I’d gone for years without it, hardly missing it at all. The tenderness of an intimacy was harder to go without, but I’d managed that too. However, the feeling of worth that Ari woke in me was something I’d never experienced with any other woman before.

Ari saw a man in me before she saw a male. With her, I felt like not only my life, but everything else about me mattered. She cared about my health, about my well-being, about my happiness... She simply cared. And that was impossible to resist.

“I’m fine, sweetheart, I—” A warm glow in my chest grew, stopping my words.

She touched the side of my face, her fingers curling into my beard. Her eyes held mine, saying more than words ever could. She saw through to my very soul. She always saw me, all of me, from the first moment her gaze ever connected with mine.

I drew her to me, propping my knee on the window seat for balance. Her legs ended up on each side of my thigh. I slid my hands up her back. Her heart beat so hard, I felt it under my palm splayed on her back below her shoulder blade.

She ran her fingers along the leather belts across my chest, then buried her nose in my neck and inhaled deeply, hungry for my touch and my scent as much as I was for hers.

Princess Arini might not be mine, but in some cruel twist of fate, our hearts beat in unison and our bodies belonged together. All her pieces fit perfectly with mine. We resonated like two fine-tuned strings struck in accord—a song with no words needed.

I didn’t know who moved first, but our lips connected. It felt like coming home, even as I barely remembered what having a home felt like. I kissed her like a starving man. Because I had been starving for things that only she could make me feel.

Reaching inside her neckline, I cupped her breast. Her nipple pebbled under my fingers. I pinched it gently, eliciting a breathless moan from her lips. She pressed closer, trapping my thigh between her legs.

The need for her pulsed through my veins. Heat rushed me from head to toe. I hardly realized what I was doing, hiking her skirts up, hand over fist, in search of her hips. With a soft groan, she tore at the tangled strings of my loincloth, then gave up and lifted it instead. Her chilled fingers found my hard, aching cock, and I thrust into her hand with a groan.

It was like a dance that we’d learned to do so well together. When I pushed, she pulled. When I took, she gave. And when I gave, she took it all, then begged for more.

She helped me slide her silk undergarments down, then let me guide her left leg around my middle while leaving her other knee propped on the window seat.

“I need you, Salas. Goddess knows I do.” She pressed herself to me.

It was a heady feeling to be needed this desperately.

I reached between us and slipped a finger inside her slick heat. She moaned, arching into my touch. She was ready for me, but I savored this moment, stoking her need. I stroked her slowly, massaging and stretching her from the inside. With my other hand, I gripped the back of her head as my mouth ravaged her in a frantic kiss.

When I couldn’t stand our separation for another second, I finally brought my cock to her opening, and she moved forward as I thrust in. Warm pleasure coursed through me as our bodies connected. I could stay like this forever, devouring her with all my senses.

She wound her arms around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder, surrendering to me completely. For one precious moment, she was wholly mine. I held her body in my arms and her soul in my heart. I felt her with every part of my being.

I thrust harder, lost to the pleasure of owning her like this. I wanted her to feel it too. Gripping her hips, I angled them to deepen our connection. With tiny whimpers that I grew to adore, she rubbed against my ridge, chasing her pleasure.

Climax shuddered through her, and I let it go too. She clung to me, riding our joint orgasm together. With her forehead pressed to my chest, she gripped the belts on my shoulders so hard, like she would never let me go. And right then, I truly hoped she never would.

She inhaled deeply, pressing a kiss to my chest, then lifted her face to mine.

“Salas, I...”

The unfinished sentence levitated between us. I held my breath, hoping against all odds for it to bloom into something magical.

What was she about to say?

“I... ” what?

“I missed you.”

“I want to see you again.”

“I need you in my life.”

The sound of a door opening shattered the charged silence between us to pieces. And with it, my hope popped like a soap bubble.

“Ari?” Lady Gem called in a subdued voice.

Her footfalls moved closer, and Ari jerked away from me.

“I’m sorry,” she finished her sentence in the most heartbreaking way.

As she hurriedly straightened her clothes, reality rushed in, and it was cold and brutal.

She wasn’t mine.

“Princess.” I reached for her as if grasping for the remnants of a disappearing dream.

She caught my hand before it touched her face and kissed my palm gently.

“I have to go,” she whispered. “Please, please stay safe.”

Then she was gone.