Rise of a Fallen Man (A Look in the Mirror #2)

Chapter 30

Ari

Six months later.

S harp whistling cut through the hot summer air as I approached the bus stop. Three young men lingered in the shade of the bus shelter, playing cards and passing a booze bottle between them.

“Hey, babe, want a drink?” One of them shoved the bottle with a cloudy liquid my way.

I shook my head and stepped closer to the only other person at the bus stop—a middle-aged woman in a long-sleeved dress.

“Bitch! I’m being nice to you!” the man shouted.

I kept my gaze down, doing my best to ignore him. I knew from experience that any kind of acknowledgement would make it worse. By being nice, I’d provoke further advances. By being rude, I’d risk a physical assault. By ignoring them, I could only hope that they’d forget about me soon and return to their game.

Another man pulled on the arm of the first one, taking the bottle from him.

“Leave her. An ugly cow. There are much prettier chicks out there.”

“But that’s disrespect!” the first man raged. “My booze is not good for her? Who does she think she is?”

I prayed the bus would come soon, but it was nowhere in sight yet.

The woman gave me a critical look.

“Walking around half naked in public like that,” she hissed under her breath. “What else do you expect?”

It was a hot summer day. I wore a spaghetti-straps tank top, but my maxi skirt was even longer than the woman’s dress. Two of the three men were topless, the third one had a soiled tank top on. Yet according to the woman, my clothes were the problem here.

I shrugged, ignoring them all, and reached in my book bag for my phone.

The technological advances during the past decade had been fantastic and on the verge of magical. Even after four months of owning a mobile phone, I still couldn’t believe how easy it was for me to talk to Salas from anywhere in the city.

I flipped the phone open and pretended to dial the number. Salas would be in his workshop this afternoon. There was no need to bother him with an actual phone call.

“Hi, baby,” I pretended to speak to him. “I’m at the bus stop now. Should be home in thirty minutes.” I made a pause, as if listening to his reply. “I love you too.”

The three guys cringed, returning to their game. The fake phone call didn’t always work, but more often than not, men would back off when they realized I had a boyfriend. Uncanny, how much more respect men had for the boyfriend they never met than for the woman standing right in front of them.

Thankfully, the bus arrived just a few minutes later. I climbed in, then watched the cityscape passing by in the window.

Not everyone was as awful as the three men at the bus stop. I’d met many decent people in this world in the past few months. I deeply admired my professors at the university. I’d made good friends with quite a few students in my classes. Salas and I had a kind old man for a neighbor.

Sadly, kindness still wasn’t a quality admired in men. Instead, it was often viewed as a weakness. The kind, decent men I’d met often felt out of place in their own world.

That said, a lot of changes had happened in the ten years that I was gone.

The corruption and abuse at the orphanage had eventually come to light, and the establishment was closed. A nightclub opened in that building instead.

The night Salas and I arrived from Rorrim, the club security picked up the junkies at the bottom of the stairs. They tried to detain Salas and me as well, but didn’t get far with that. The club owner watched Salas toss his man all over the dance floor, then offered him a job as a bouncer that very night.

We rented a small room in the city and stayed in it for a couple of months. Salas worked nights. And I became Ira again. I restored my identity to join other girls from the orphanage in testifying in court against its management and benefactors. It proved healing to see justice happen for once.

The city had changed in many ways. Neon signs popped up along the major streets. Private cafes and restaurants had opened. In my old school, we only had one classroom equipped with a handful of clunky, gray computers to learn basic programming skills. Now, the internet cafes were everywhere.

Through the internet, Salas had connected with a museum that was looking for a master blacksmith to restore and create a few replicas of swords and daggers for their re-enactment exhibits.

Despite the many positive changes in the country, finding a job was still difficult. For the first two months, I’d spent every day filling in applications for jobs in shops, restaurants, and factories. But even a decade later, it was still all about whom you knew, not what you knew.

Since day one, Salas had been our only provider, which was new to him. He relished being able to support us, but I knew he disliked his job at the nightclub. When the chance came for him to work at the forge again, I sold the jewelry I was wearing when we came from Rorrim. He quit his job, and we rented a small, one-bedroom log house with a workshop on the outskirts of the city.

The project for the museum had opened more doors for Salas. He started getting regular orders from other museums, hobby stores, weapon enthusiasts, and cosplayers from all over the country and beyond.

Things were going so well that instead of wasting my time looking for a job that I couldn’t find, I started taking classes at the university.

The bus dropped me off at the end of our street. My steps grew faster the closer to home I got. Instead of going to the front door, I went straight to the workshop connected to the main house by a short walkway.

Salas had put the fire out already and taken his thick gloves off, but he still had his leather apron on over his navy-blue tank top.

“And there is my princess.” He beamed as I entered. “How was the class?” He opened his arms wide for me, and I ran into them.

His hugs were a true home to me. With his arms around me, it didn’t matter what world we lived in. Salas was my home.

“It was good.” I exhaled, dropping my heavy book bag to the floor and twining my arms around his neck. “But being here with you is so much better.”

I rose on my tiptoes, reaching for a kiss, and he quickly found my lips with his.

The door to the walkway connecting the workshop to the house was open. A delicious smell wafted through it.

“What’s for dinner?”

“Meat pie.”

My mouth watered. “Are you making your famous rabbit pie?”

“No rabbit. Again.” he sighed. “Just chicken. The store didn’t have rabbit meat. It looks like I’ll have to go to the forest to trap some if I ever want to make a rabbit pie in his world.”

I chuckled. “I’m sure chicken is just as good.”

Sliding my hands behind him, I hooked my fingers into the belt of his jeans. I still hadn’t gotten used to the fact that Salas wore jeans now. But he made any clothes look good, including these.

“When is the chicken pie ready?” I asked as he kissed the side of my neck.

“In about ten-fifteen minutes,” he murmured against my skin, cupping my breast through my top. “I have enough time to make you come at least once before dinner.”

“Mmm, best appetizer ever.” I tugged at his apron. “Are you keeping this on?”

He leaned back with a smile.

“Sure.” A spark of humor glistened in his honey-brown eyes. “Just the apron, nothing else. What do you think?”

The sound of someone clearing their throat behind me made me pause.

“Mother?” I turned around to a small stand-up mirror on Salas’s workbench.

I’d brought it here the last time I’d spoken to her and forgot to take it back to the house.

The Queen of Rorrim Queendom stood on the other side of the mirror, dressed in a purple-and-gold evening gown.

“Good evening, daughter,” she said in a formal voice with a quick glance at Salas, who still held me in his arms. “I have a few minutes before the dinner in honor of the delegation from the Western Islands, and I wished to talk to you.”

“Is everything okay?” I stepped out of Salas’ hug reluctantly.

Mother was a busy woman, even more so since I wasn’t there to help her now. She had little time to spare but made an effort to find a few minutes to speak with me almost every day.

“Greetings, Your Majesty.” Salas inclined his head.

The queen gave him a brief nod, without a word of reply. But it was better than before when she refused to acknowledge his presence at all.

“How is Father doing?” I asked the queen.

“The king is well,” she replied in the same formal tone.

Salas took off his apron and hung it on the hook by the door.

“I’ll go check on that pie,” he said, heading for the walkway to the house.

Mother followed his departure with her gaze. A wrinkle of displeasure formed between her eyebrows.

“Is that how you allow him to walk around, Ari? Does he not have enough clothes to put on?”

It took me a moment to remember that Salas’s sleeveless tank top would be highly inappropriate for a man to wear back in Rorrim. Salas still refused to wear anything sleeveless out in public, even on a hot day.

“It’s summer here, Mother,” I reminded the queen since it was currently the middle of winter in Rorrim. “Salas works at the forge. It’s hot.” I shrugged. “What’s so scandalous about it, anyway? It’s just arms. We all have them, don’t we?”

Mother shook her head.

“That world is not good for you, dearest. It’s such a twisted place.”

“No world is perfect, but I’m safer here now than before. I have Salas. He supports and protects me. Without him, I’d have no roof over my head. He pays for everything. Amazing, isn’t it?” I teased. “Apparently, a man is perfectly capable of running a successful business if given the freedom to do it.”

She waved that off. “I’m sure you’re helping him, dearest, even if just with your guidance and advice. And you don’t need his support or his protection.” Mother still blamed Salas for taking me away from Rorrim and from her. “You would be perfectly safe here, home in the palace.”

“I would. But Salas wouldn’t be. He’d be dead or rotting in jail. I couldn’t let that happen, Mother. I love him.” I paused, considering whether to share with her the secret I hadn’t even shared with Salas yet. “I want to ask him to marry me.”

Her chest heaved in the tight bodice of her dress.

“Oh Ari, sweetie.” Her voice turned pleading. “Is it necessary? That man is such a wrong match for you.”

I didn’t expect her to meet the news with enthusiasm. But she took it better than I’d anticipated.

“I’ve had the perfect match before, haven’t I?” I argued. “It didn’t turn out that great, did it? How is Leafar doing?”

A divorce law existed in Rorrim, though it was rarely used, not because marriages were so perfect there, but because with so few options for men to support themselves, they held on to their wives even at the expense of their own interests, happiness, or identities.

“The prince is recovering in your summer estate,” Mother said. “Gem has been keeping him company whenever she has time to spare from her duties at the palace.”

“Gem? Really?” That came unexpected, until I remembered that she’d always favored handsome, golden-haired men. “Does the prince welcome her visits?”

“He seems to enjoy them, from what I heard. Why? Would you rather I put a stop to that?”

“No.” I shook my head quickly. “Not if they like each other. Leafar can spend his time however he wants. He’s no longer married and doesn’t have to worry about his reputation. I can only protect him from any unwanted contacts, but I can’t tell him whose company to enjoy. As long as he’s safe and happy.”

Mother pursed her lips. “With the full access to your allowance, he certainly has the means to keep himself happy. The number of horses he’s ordered so far probably exceeds the number of servants at the estate by now.”

I knew for a fact that happiness was not in money. After searching for it all my life, I’d finally found it in Salas’s arms. But if Leafar needed money to feel happy, I was glad I could give it to him.

We’d promised no love to each other, because love was never meant to be the foundation of our marriage. But trust was, and we both betrayed each other’s trust.

Because of Leafar, the man I loved had nearly gotten killed. But because of me, Leafar was now living as an abandoned ex-husband, bearing the stigma of the divorce that had never happened in Rorrim’s royal family before.

I’d never trust Leafar again, but I promised to protect him, and I tried to keep him safe, even from a distance. I also hoped that he’d find true happiness that fear had prevented him from searching for before.

“I miss you, daughter,” Mother exhaled.

Her shoulders under the high collar of golden lace dropped. She looked tired.

“Mother...” I shoved a stool closer to the workbench, then sat on it and pressed a hand to the mirror.

I could see Mother and speak with her, using any mirror in this world. However, she could only see me in the ancient one in the throne room. A twister of emotions swirled through me, yet the mirror’s surface remained as hard and smooth as ever.

After crossing through the mirror twice already, I still didn’t understand exactly how it worked and didn’t know how to control it.

Not every emotion seemed to open the portal. Both times, I had been terrified to the point of passing out. The first time, I feared for my life. The second time, for Salas’s. Both times, I also felt helpless, with no way out but leaving the world I was in.

In the throne room that day, I remembered hugging Salas when he staggered back and my elbow pushed the velvet shroud into the surface of the mirror. That was how I knew the portal was open. That was when I told him to fall through it with me.

And he did. He put all his trust in me and did what I asked. He fell with me and let me save his life.

Mother placed a hand against the glass from the other side of the mirror.

“Do you think you can come back soon, darling?”

I heaved a sigh. I missed her. And Father. And my silly puppy. I missed the purpose I had in Rorrim, the hope of making it a better place for everyone.

I was currently taking Political Science courses at the university. A credential in that area of study wouldn’t help me with getting a job in this world, but the knowledge it gave me and the deeper perspective on governance, diplomacy, and politics could be helpful back in Rorrim.

“I can’t come back, Mother. Not until Salas is my equal there, the way he is here.”

She petted the glass before dropping her hand away.

“Well, I’m willing to file a petition with the council to spare his life.”

That wasn’t enough.

I shook my head. “He doesn’t deserve jail, either.”

“But Ari, he broke the law.”

“Then the law is unfair and needs to be revised.”

Every time we’d had this conversation, we’d come to the same standstill. The fundamental laws of Rorrim had been in place for so long, they’d become sacred. No one would change them for the sake of one man—a slave and a former whore. But I saw it as more than just saving Salas. Some time ago, I promised him to make changes to benefit the most disadvantaged groups of the Rorrim’s society, and I held on to the hope of fulfilling that promise one day.

“Maybe...” Mother bit her lip. “Maybe we could make a special allowance in his case. I’ve spoken to several councilors already, and most seem amenable to the idea of granting him a reward for the service he performed for the crown. They admit that by saving your life and apprehending the murderer, he deserves an exceptional leniency. Instead of the dungeon, we can house him in your father’s old hunting cabin. He’d be guarded and supervised, of course. But you will be able to visit him as often as your duties permit.”

“You want him to become my kept man? My pet? How would that be any different from being locked in a dungeon?”

“The king’s hunting cabin is much more luxurious than a dungeon cell,” she pointed out haughtily.

“A gilded cage is still a cage, Mother.”

“Ari, this is a very reasonable compromise. He keeps his life. You keep him as a lover. Moreover, any daughters resulting from this...um, arrangement will be recognized as your legitimate heirs. They will be put in the direct succession line. Is that not the greatest honor a man of his standing could ever hope for? If he gives you a daughter, she’ll rule the queendom—”

“There is no talk about children yet,” I stopped her. “Salas had the surgery, like all men in fun houses are required to have.”

“The surgery is easily reversible.” She waved me off. “The healing witch can undo it in no time, or we can hire the warlock Rotcod again. He performed a true miracle for your father. As a part of his reward, I granted him special permission to attend classes at the medical school. So, his skills are certainly improving. Your lover will be in good hands.”

“Salas is not just my lover. He’s so much more, Mother. I love him. I want to marry him. Here, he’s free and my equal. If we ever return to Rorrim, that is exactly what he has to be there too.” That said, this was the nicest idea she’d come up with for him to date. The progress was slow, but it’d been at least moving in the right direction. “But thank you. I do appreciate your thinking about it. I’ll keep thinking too.”

Salas

I GOT THE PIE OUT OF the oven and put it on the small table in our tiny kitchen. Everything in this house was small, but it was ours, and that was all that mattered.

Ari entered the room quietly, having finished her conversation with the queen.

“How are things back in Rorrim?” I turned to her.

“Good. Everyone is well.”

She looked tense, like she often did after those conversations.

“How is the pie?” She managed a smile.

My Ari was great at pretending. She’d mastered a range of neutral expressions and had a stellar control of her voice. But I knew her. Over the months we’d spent together, I’d learned to read through it all.

“The pie can wait. Come here.” Sitting down, I pulled her to me. “Do you miss Rorrim?”

“No,” she said quickly, then added, “Well, some things... I mean people and pets, mostly.”

Unlike me, Ari had left a family behind, parents who loved her, pets that she adored, and the crown that she’d been proud to wear.

“They’re all well.” She smiled again, effortlessly this time. “It’s all good, my love.”

I loved it when she called me that. Warmth rushed me. I tightened my arms around her, drawing her closer between my knees.

I had little back in Rorrim, but even I missed a few things from there. With the constant noise in this world, I missed the quiet when the air was so still that one could hear birds chirping from anywhere and at any time of the day. I missed the water that tasted like fresh wind and glacial ice instead of a cleaning agent and rust like it did here. As little magic as I’d had in my life before, I missed it here too. This world had not a speck of magic.

But I’d gained so much more. Here, I could be myself. No one would even think about tossing the word “whore” into my face. In this twisted place, even the truly promiscuous men weren’t shamed. They were celebrated instead, with women they’d slept with being called their “conquests.” It was women who were called whores instead, even if they didn’t sell sex for money, even if they had no sex, even for no reason at all.

During my two months working as a bouncer in the nightclub, I’d heard men call women all possible derogatory terms for simply rejecting their advances. The treatment of women was appalling here, and it almost always went unpunished.

The drastic change of cultural norms had a whiplash effect on me. I often wished to get Ari away from here, even if it’d cost my life to return to Rorrim. She gave up everything to bring me here. Her birthright, her ambition, the very purpose of her life, she left it all behind to be here with me.

I found her lips with mine. She slid her hands down my neck and over my shoulders. I kissed her face, following with my kisses the familiar map of her freckles. With a soft moan, she pressed her body to mine, and I trailed my kisses down her neck then along her collarbone.

The pie was waiting, but she breathed out, “Don’t stop, Salas. I need to feel you.”

I needed her too. Always.

Clothes were simpler in this world—no laces, not too many buttons. I slid down her shoulder straps, then unhooked her bra, releasing her breasts. Each was more than a handful, but I had large hands. When I cupped a breast, it hid in my palm completely. The bud of the nipple poked between my fingers, and I squeezed it gently, making her gasp in pleasure.

“Salas...” she murmured my name as I kissed the tip of her other breast.

For both Ari and me, sexuality had been warped from a young age. The two of us were still learning how to enjoy intimacy without guilt or shame, how to have sex with no other purpose but to enjoy each other.

But our love was built on trust, giving us a safe place to learn it all.

I pulled Ari onto my lap. Straddling my thighs, she reached for the closure on my pants while I hiked up her long cotton skirt.

Desire zapped through my groin as she wrapped her warm, little fingers around my cock.

“There it is.” She smiled with satisfaction, freeing my erection while I took off her underwear for her.

She ran her fingers along the row of elevations on the underside of my shaft. I was so hard, my cock pressed to my belly. She didn’t pry it away, rubbing herself against it instead, up and down the hard bumps. I gripped her hips, pressing her closer.

The slick, tantalizing sensation of her heat grinding against the head of my cock made my mind reel with need. I strained my muscles, holding back.

As her moans grew louder, her mouth slacked open, and her eyelids dropped half-way, I grabbed her and got up from my chair, then flipped her onto the table, next to the chicken pie.

She gasped, wrapping her legs around my hips.

“Together, Salas...” she moaned, rolling her head on the table.

“Yes, sweetheart. Always together.” I slid inside her with a thrust that pressed my ridge to her clit.

She gripped my shirt as I thrust harder, making the table shake and shift. Tossing her head back, her thighs trapping me in a vise, she came around my cock so hard, her moans probably could be heard all the way at the bus stop, and I finally let it go too.

Pleasure burst through my veins as my release filled her. Sex with her was incomparable to anything I’d ever experienced. I could stay like this forever, with our bodies merged and our souls connected.

With her hair spread over the table, her top down to her waist and her cheeks blushing, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

I flicked her nose with mine. “I could eat you, instead of the pie. All night long.”

She remained serious, however, gazing at me intently.

“Marry me, Salas,” she said, breathlessly.

Marry me.

Just a few months ago, I didn’t dare dream of ever hearing these words from her. Ari always treated me like an equal. I knew we belonged together, but there was a world where I would never be accepted as her husband.

She stirred under me uneasily, probably concerned by my silence.

“I know you deserve a better proposal,” she said. “I was going to do it properly, in a nice place somewhere...”

“Ari,” I shifted off her, “I don’t care for grand gestures. But if you ever return to Rorrim... Your marriage with me would never be accepted there.”

“I’m not going back.” She sat up. “Even if there was a way, I’m not going back to the place where you can lose your life or your freedom. You proved to me that happiness is real. I refuse to live without it now. I refuse to live without you.” Taking my face between her hands, she ran her thumbs over my cheekbones. “Will you be my husband, Salas?”

A ripple of vulnerability ran through her expression as she waited for my reply. As if I would ever refuse her.

“I feared you’d never ask.” I smiled.

“Is that a yes?” Her eyes lit up with hope. “Please say yes.”

“Of course it’s a yes, sweetheart. How can it be anything else?”

She hugged my neck with a puff of relieved breath against my skin.

I reached over to the wooden jewelry box inlaid with mosaic from ironed straw. The beauty of having a small kitchen was that everything in it was within arm’s reach.

“I made something for us.” I took out a matching pair of rings from the box. “By this world’s tradition, both a man and a woman wear a wedding ring, right?”

“In this country , yes, they both wear one, on their right ring fingers.”

I opened my hand, displaying the silver bands I’d made in my workshop between working on orders.

She gasped in delight. “You made them?”

“I did. For both of us.”

I was a blacksmith, not a jeweler, but I was proud of how the bands turned out. I even managed to etch a design in the silver. I kept it simple, borrowing the cross-stitch pattern from the shirt that Ari gave me as a gift back in Rorrim.

“It’s gorgeous.” She took the smaller ring and lifted it to her eyes, inspecting the design. “That’s the embroidery on your shirt, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “It seems like all life-altering events happened to me lately while I wore that shirt. And you’ve been with me for all of them. I figured it was fitting.”

“There is an engraving inside too.” She looked closely and read, “You are my happy place.”

“You said it to me, remember?” Of course she did. It was clear from her expression that she never forgot those words. “You have become my happy place, too, Ari.”

Her eyes glistened with tears behind her glasses. She sniffled softly and quickly buried her nose in the side of my neck.

My Ari was the strongest woman I knew. Her emotions were just as strong, too, powerful enough to transcend worlds.

I cradled her in my arms, kissing her hair.

“I can’t wait to marry you, sweetheart.”

“You are my happy place, Salas,” she murmured against my skin.

“And you are mine.”