Risqué Business (Club Risqué #8)

Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

A nother day, another property viewing. Melody was relieved that this time she had Charlotte with her, so at least she didn’t have to expend so much energy putting on a show for Micah’s benefit.

She walked around listlessly, feeling nothing but isolated and uncomfortable in what was a perfectly lovely townhouse; looking around with eyes that didn’t really take anything in. And still, in the back of her mind, was that dread feeling that someone was following her, watching her. Would it always be like that, she wondered? Would her past always haunt her?

She hadn’t expected to feel like this. After Vinny and most of his cronies had been taken into custody and eventually imprisoned, Melody had thought whatever residual effects left over from her abduction and incarceration would have dissipated. But if she was completely honest with herself, they’d gotten worse as time had passed. That constant ‘on edge’ feeling every time she left the house had spiked and become exacerbated. Melody felt like she was constantly looking over her shoulder… waiting for something to happen.

But there was never anything there. It was just her mind playing tricks on her.

She tried to take more of an interest in her surroundings, to pretend the property was somewhere she might actually like to live, but Melody wasn’t that good of an actress, and she just wasn’t feeling it.

“Okay. Spill it,” Charlotte finally demanded as they walked half-heartedly around the perfectly adequate property.

Melody frowned. “What do you mean?” she asked, uncomfortable at being called out, and yet oddly relieved at the same time.

“I mean, you’re very obviously not into this, and I know Micah thinks it’s because you’re having issues reacclimatising to your new reality and being able to do things for yourself, but having been in that situation myself, I damn well know that’s not it. So, what gives? I thought you were excited about getting a place of your own?”

Walking outside and flopping down on the garden step, Melody let out a gusty sigh and decided to confide in her friend. “You’re right. I could find the perfect place and it still won’t be right unless Micah’s living there with me.”

“So, what’s the issue?” Charlotte asked, sitting down next to her.

Throwing up her hands, Melody let out a frustrated sound somewhere between a screech and a growl. “The issue is, Micah’s behaving like this is only going to be my home. More than behaving, in fact, he’s outright said so, and it’s ruined everything.” Melody kept quiet about the paranoia. With the help of the therapist Micah had insisted on, she knew herself well enough to understand that wasn’t at the root of her apathy.

“What do you mean exactly?” Charlotte asked, her brow furrowing.

“I mean, he’s made it clear that this is my place. Not his. I thought we were a couple. I thought our future was together, and now I don’t know what to think. But every time I view another property, it feels like he’s pushing me away and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Charlotte let out a low hum, almost under her breath, her expression sympathetic. “I see.” She shifted position to face Melody better. “Have you talked about this with him?”

Melody shook her head. “I know I should, but I’m scared of what his answer might be,” she whispered, struggling to keep her voice even.

Pressing her lips together, Charlotte reached over and took Melody’s hand. “You need to do it, Melody.” Charlotte insisted, squeezing her fingers in support, her gaze stern and unyielding. “This isn’t something you can just ignore and hope it resolves itself. You need to confront him directly. It’ll only hurt more if you keep it bottled up.”

Melody hung her head, a sigh escaping her lips. She'd been avoiding that conversation because it might mean the end of their relationship. But Charlotte was right, she acknowledged silently. She couldn’t go on like this. It was tearing her up inside and ruining all the progress she’d made since escaping her incarceration.

“God, I feel so pathetic!” Melody declared, pushing her hands into her long silvery-white hair which had been recently cut and styled so it fell in long, sleek waves down her back, but no longer reached past her butt, making it so much more manageable. “After everything I’ve been through, why does something as simple as this feel like it has the ability to break me?”

“It’s because you have more invested in your relationship than anything else before. Because you care.” Charlotte told Melody what she really already knew. “But putting it off is only lulling you into a false sense of security. You’re not really happy with how things are, you’re just treading water, floundering. I can tell you, for me it was better to rip off the band aid and admit to myself that Jake was never going to want a relationship with me the way things were. Once I accepted that, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was able to be proactive about what I wanted for myself.”

Melody looked at Charlotte, her eyes filled with admiration, but also a sense of fear. "But weren't you heartbroken?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper as if she was afraid of what the answer could be.

Charlotte let out a sigh and for a moment, she said nothing. Then, she looked straight into Melody's eyes. "Yes, I was. It felt like the world had ended for me. But then, after a while, I got up again. I learned that life does not revolve around one person or one relationship. Most importantly, I understood that I deserved better and that I had to be the one to make it happen.”

Melody nodded slowly as she took in Charlotte's words. She felt like she was on the verge of a precipice, one step away from free-fall. But maybe that leap was necessary.

“But isn't that unfair?” Melody asked after a moment of silence. “Why should we be compromising on our happiness?”

Charlotte looked at her friend thoughtfully before finally answering, “Because love isn't always fair, Melody. When it’s only coming from one side, it's no longer love: it's self-destruction. You know what happened with Laurel when she fought to keep Connor against his will.”

Melody bit her lip to stop it from wobbling, and Charlotte wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug. “But what you also need to remember is, there might be a whole other reason than the one you’re imagining. And personally, I’d bet there is, because from what I see, Micah adores you, and I think you’re fretting over nothing. The thing is, you’ll never know unless you ask.”

The two women sat there for a while longer, allowing the pulsating silence to engulf their thoughts as the setting sun bathed everything in hues of gold. The yard didn’t seem so lonely anymore and the house didn’t feel so alien now Melody had shared her fears with Charlotte.

But her friend was right. It was time to pull her head out of the sand and face her fears head on. All of them.

Even if that meant her future was not the one she expected.