Rock & Roll Nights: The Lila and Rivers Edit

16. Lila

16

LILA

I walked up to the stage with exactly zero idea of what Rivers wanted from me. We’d hustled our asses down here from the hotel—which was, weirdly, right upstairs—and hadn’t really had time to discuss where we stood after our little road trip. The clouds and the truck and sex under the wide blue sky, in the middle of a meadow where anyone could have seen us. I didn’t know what we were telling other people, or if we were telling them anything.

Hell, I didn’t even know how he felt about what had happened between us. I didn’t know how I felt. I’d gone into the drive thinking he was nothing more than a delinquent who believed in calling car theft ‘borrowing,’ and had come out of it thinking we’d created some sort of magic that I’d never before known existed.

And don’t even get me started on the physical chemistry between us. I’d thought that first night had been a fluke. Just a one-night situation that would never repeat. God knew he was inclined to taking girls in for one night and then ditching them the next day, and that was exactly what he’d done. But then breakfast had happened, his eyes on me when I was singing and the sparks flying from his eyes to mine. And from there…

Something happened to me every time he touched me. It turned my brain off and sent fire flooding through my veins until all I could think of was getting him to touch more. The thing I’d thought was temporary had instead been growing until it was starting to color the world around me.

And he was responding to it.

As usual, everything I was thinking must have shown on my face, because when I got onto the stage, I found Rivers giving me a knowing look and the rest of his band raising their eyebrows in my direction.

Terrific. Evidently, I didn’t even need to open my mouth for people to figure out what had happened between Rivers and me. They could see it written all over my face and were all no doubt laughing at how na?ve I was to fall for his charm.

Or maybe they were thinking I actually had managed to break through those walls he’d spent years building up around himself.

Regardless, I didn’t think he’d called me up on the stage to discuss it. At least I hoped not.

When I came to a stop in front of him and waited for him to announce his intentions, though, he just stared at me. Opened his mouth, closed it again, and continued staring. His eyes flitted to the audience and back like he was looking for some sort of inspiration, and I felt a surge of affection bubbling up for him. What was he doing ? Did he even know?

Wasn’t he supposed to be a pro at this whole performing thing?

“Um, what’s up?” I finally asked, looking from Rivers to the audience and back.

His eyes came to mine and got wide, but then slid to the side, and his brows suddenly drew down in a frown. Confused, I followed the direction of his gaze, trying to figure out who he was scowling at... and saw the guy I’d been talking to before I came up here. I didn’t even know him, honestly. He was a local who’d found his way in without knowing who he was seeing and had been asking me about the band on stage. I’d been running through the usual stuff—who the band was, what they were known for, and the fact that they were opening for Olivia and Connor—when Rivers had suddenly called me up on stage.

And based on the way he was now scowling at the guy, I thought I knew exactly why he’d done it.

He hadn’t had a plan. He hadn’t actually needed me for anything. He’d been upset that I was talking to a guy he didn’t know. He’d brought me up here to get me away from the stranger.

Oh my God.

That was not only jealousy, but also possessiveness, and definitely not appropriate when it came to a girl he’d only known for a few days. And also, I was allowed to talk to whoever the fuck I wanted to talk to, and he didn’t get to say a damn thing about it. I wasn’t actually his girlfriend. I wasn’t actually anything to him.

And yet.

And yet we’d shared something special from the moment we met, and the afternoon in the meadow had shifted something between us. This guy had spent the first couple days on the road blowing me off and trying to prove that I didn’t mean anything to him, but he’d also saved me from a stack of speakers he’d thought were falling down and found shapes in the clouds with me. He’d shared his secrets and kept me company for a full night in a closed-down café.

He’d just gone out of his way to call me to him when I was talking to someone else.

Half of me was offended that he thought he had the right.

The other half was highly amused and more than a little bit touched. I found, to my surprise, that I didn’t hate him having the idea that he had a claim on my affections.

Maybe because he sort of did.

Not that I was going to let this opportunity for teasing him pass me by.

I turned to the audience and let my grin grow. “Hey folks, looks like Rivers has called me up here for no real reason. Unless any of you knows something I don’t.”

I turned my ear and put my hand up to it, inviting the audience to chime in on the question, and they immediately did so.

“He’s afraid to be up there by himself!” someone shouted.

“Because he’s in love with you!” someone else added.

“Doesn’t want you down here talking to anyone else!” someone said, their voice full of laughter.

I widened my eyes, trying my best for innocence, and put a hand to my chest. “You think he doesn’t know how to be up here by himself? But he’s been doing it for years!”

The crowd laughed and shouted more options, each of them more unlikely than the last, and finally I turned to Rivers and lifted an eyebrow. “What about it, Rivers? They seem to think you’re either afraid to be up here by yourself or afraid to leave me down there on my own. Either that or you think I’m a unicorn and don’t want someone else to get the treasure at the end of the rainbow. Which is it?”

He opened his mouth to answer but frowned at the same time, and I didn’t have to ask to know that this was probably the biggest response he’d ever had from an audience. I didn’t think he was used to this sort of attention, with laughter and joking included, and I doubted he knew what to do with it. The guy had gone out of his way to keep everyone at arm’s length and had probably never invited their opinions up on stage with him. Now they were suddenly cheering for him in a way they never had.

And he didn’t know who to be in this situation. It didn’t fit with the act he’d perfected. Scowling and playing the bad boy didn’t suit this atmosphere.

I grinned at him and grabbed one of his spare guitars off the stand.

“Well as far as I’m concerned, the best reason to be onstage is to sing a song. And since you’re not going to invite me, I guess I’ll just have to invite myself. Chime in if you feel the need.”

I turned back to the audience, who were all grinning and laughing now, and started playing the same song I’d played that first morning at breakfast. It didn’t need backup, and I could certainly do it by myself. It was probably the only song in my repertoire that didn’t even require Anna.

But when Noah picked up the beat with his drums and Matt started adding bass, I gave them quick grins. Moments later, Hudson and Rivers had joined in as well, each of them adding a layer I hadn’t written, and before long we were playing like we were a whole band, the boys improvising while I sang, and I didn’t know if anything had ever felt so right before.

Except, of course, having been in Rivers’ arms that afternoon under a bright sky dotted with fluffy clouds that looked like dragons.