Rock & Roll Nights: The Lila and Rivers Edit

18. Lila

18

LILA

I stared into the mirror, wondering whether I had enough makeup in my bag to fix the problem. I hadn’t slept all night, and I definitely looked like it. Dark circles ringed my eyes and I was paler than usual, my freckles standing out against my skin as the only source of color. So concealer and maybe some blush. Plus plenty of mascara to try to make myself look more awake.

Unfortunately none of that would do anything for the haunted look inside my eyes. That had more to do with the thoughts I’d spent the night with. And Rivers’ sudden disappearance from the hallway last night.

I didn’t think mascara was going to fix that. Maybe some sunglasses, though.

“You don’t look good,” a voice suddenly said from the doorway.

I closed my eyes for a moment before I turned toward Anna. I’d been really, really hoping she wouldn’t be up yet. Or that she’d be up and out doing something useful, like having breakfast and talking to Taylor about why we couldn’t actually stay on this tour because I was going to have to back out of my deal with her.

A useless wish, considering Anna didn’t know about that yet.

“Didn’t sleep well,” I said, hoping I sounded more casual than I felt.

She lifted a very elegant, very serious eyebrow, looking like someone who hadn’t been up all night questioning her life choices, and didn’t answer.

“No need to look so judgmental,” I snapped, whirling back toward the mirror and grabbing for my mascara.

That brought a snort, and I met her glance in the mirror. “If you have something to say, I wish you’d just say it.”

She shrugged. “What would I say? That I told you it was a bad idea to get involved with him? That he was trouble, and not the good kind? Or that you should have talked to me before you signed on to that deal with Taylor James? Because I’m pretty sure you already know all of that.”

I wanted to argue with her and tell her she was wrong about all of it, but I couldn’t. And she didn’t even know the half of it. I hadn’t told her that he’d found me in the hallway last night, barely dressed and desperate, and had proceed to pin me to the wall and let me know exactly how much he wanted me. She didn’t know about the drive yesterday, or what we’d shared in the meadow.

And I wasn’t about to tell her that he’d ravaged me last night and had me wrapped around him, only to turn and walk away before anything could happen. I didn’t know what that had been about—I didn’t know why he’d left the stage in a rush when we finished singing—and I damn sure wasn’t going to tell Anna about it.

She’d flat out kill him, and though I was furious and confused, I didn’t exactly want him dead.

Yet.

At some point, I was going to pin him down and make him tell me what was going on, and as far as I was concerned, Anna didn’t need to know anything until I understand what was happening. The guy wasn’t great at communication, true, but he obviously knew enough to know how he was feeling. He’d gone from ignoring me to basically kidnapping me and making love to me to ignoring me again and then mauling me in the hallway.

He owed me an explanation. And an apology.

If he didn’t give me those things, I might turn Anna loose on him.

A knock on the door jerked me out of my thoughts, and I heard Anna making her way to answer it. There was a pause and a sharp laugh.

“Lila,” she called. “Tattoos himself is here!”

I closed my eyes in horror. We’d taken to calling him that when we were alone, thinking it was the perfect nickname for him, but I couldn’t believe she’d say it if he was actually at the door.

Of course, I also hadn’t thought she’d drive away in my car and leave me in a hotel room with him, cursed to find our own way to the next town. She still hadn’t given me a satisfactory reason for her actions on that point. She’d said it had been Taylor’s idea, which I believed, and that Anna had only gone along with it when Taylor had promised that if we didn’t find a ride by a specific time, she’d send someone back for us.

I hadn’t sorted out how I felt about Anna going along with it. Or how I felt about the time Rivers and I had spent together. Because it had been one of the most wonderful afternoons of my life—despite the fact that it had only happened because his agent had played a trick on him. Unfortunately, we’d had come back to the real world before we could talk about what had changed, courtesy of him having to get on stage immediately. The only talking we’d really done was that strange situation on stage, when he’d called me up there and then acted like he didn’t know how it had happened.

And last night, when he’d found me in the hallway. Though we hadn’t exactly done a lot of talking.

In short, I was feeling both unsteady and out of sorts when it came to the local tattooed rock star, and that made me nervous. I liked to know where I stood with people. I liked when people told me they cared about me.

I didn’t know what Rivers thought of me or if he cared at all, and given what he’d done last night, I was feeling even more off-balance.

I hated that.

Almost as much as I hated the feelings I was starting to have for him. Because those had never been part of the deal.

“Lila!” Anna called again.

Shit. I’d been so lost in my thoughts that I’d forgotten about her.

And her claim that Rivers was standing at the door waiting for me.

I rushed out of the bathroom, ready to tell her that her joke wasn’t funny, but came to a sharp stop. She wasn’t lying. Rivers was lounging against the door frame, his hands in his pockets and his face looking unexpectedly ashamed.

Anna, of course, was smirking. Probably already coming up with all the ways she was going to make fun of me later, I realized. I narrowed my eyes at her like any of this was her fault—it definitely wasn’t—and then stalked toward Rivers. I didn’t know what he wanted or how I was going to react, but my stomach was already dancing some sort of jig inside my body, elated at the idea that he’d come to my room to find me. My heart had started pounding and butterflies were dancing through my veins at the sight of him.

Stupid body. Stupid, traitorous organs. Hadn’t they gotten the memo that he might not actually like us at all?

“Hey,” I said.

“I owe you an apology,” he replied, getting right to the point. “Can I take you to an apology breakfast?”

My heart stopped its pounding, and my mind started to spin. “An apology breakfast? Is that an actual thing?”

He reached out, took my hand, and pulled me through the door and into the hall. “It is now. Let’s go.”