Roll For Initiative

33. Lucian

S he is utterly frustrating. I’m trying to get dressed, but I almost fall over when putting on pants. Fuck! I need to get out of here for a bit. My head is spinning and starting to hurt. I can’t believe any of that shit just happened. I can still smell her scent on my fingers. What the fuck was I doing. Why the fuck didn’t she stop it. And what the hell? She saw me masturbating and is just now telling me. So awkward. I was going to try and apologize for basically molesting her in bed, but then she fucking invited me into the shower with her. My dick took that as a personal invite. I almost did, too, until she mentioned the night at her apartment. I felt so vulnerable and weird. And then she asks about Jayme. Was she trying to piss me off? Push my buttons? What would she have even gained from that? I know women find him irresistible, but he has never been her type before. He can’t know that any of that happened.

I finish throwing on clothes and toss a piece of gum into my mouth. I am not going back in there to brush my teeth. I storm out to the living room and Jayme is sitting there on the couch. He looks up at me as I walk in, and he smirks.

“Ah, did we have a lovers spat this morning?”

“How much did you hear?” I ask. I hope to God not a lot.

“Honestly, not much was decipherable; I could hear you guys arguing but couldn’t really tell what you were saying until the end, where she screamed at you, asking you who she should be with.” Thank God he didn’t hear more. I bury my face in my hands as I sit on the couch next to him.

“Now, I’m hoping your response to her was something along the lines of “Me, you dumb woman, I love you, be with me.”” He laughs, and I just groan and shake my head.

“No, I walked away. I told her to forget about it and just walked out and slammed the door. What the fuck am I doing, man. Why am I feeling this way about her? It has never been like this.”

“Yes, it has. You just didn’t have someone who knows you to tell you how it is. You have loved her for a lot longer than you want to admit, and that’s ok. You probably are worried you will lose her if she doesn’t return the feelings. Or if you guys did date and then broke up.” Damn, he is right. I ignored all the feelings in the past, and now I am scared to tell her. What if she doesn’t love me back? What if we do break up? There’s no way we could return to how we were. I would lose her forever.

“Lucian, before you start overthinking again and spiraling, go in there and talk to her.”

“Nope, let’s go. We are leaving. I can’t talk to her right now. I need some time to think about all this. Plus, I have nothing to eat or drink here except some canned food and water, so let’s grab breakfast and go shopping after.”

“How long till she is ready?” he asks, glancing back toward my bedroom.

“She’s not coming.”

“What? So, you are just going to leave her here?” He looks stunned.

“Yeah, I told her to lock up. She wants to go home anyways, so it’s whatever.”

“Ah, ok. So, how’d last night go? Get to second base?” He jokes, nudging me.

“Nothing happened,” I say sternly.

“So, when I came out to get a drink at like 4 am, and neither of you were sleeping on the couch, am I to assume you were both sleeping in your bed?”

“Yes, but it’s not what you think. We just slept. I ended up going to bed after she did because I had to do our laundry, so she had something to wear today.”

“Wait, what did she sleep in? Damn, was she naked?”

“No you, dumbass. She wore one of my shirts and a pair of boxers. Now, can we please get going? I’m hungry.”

“No, you are hangry. There’s a difference. You need to relax a little, Lucian. You are wound too tight.” He jokingly tries to massage my shoulders, and I brush him off, standing to head toward the door.

“Fine, but if there are any dirty details from last night, you better tell me. I can tell you are avoiding the conversation, so I will wait.” He grabs his keys, and we head to put our shoes on.

I glance back toward my bedroom one last time. I haven’t heard her moving around in there or anything. I wonder if she is still mad at me. Fuck, I need to talk to her. Apologize for acting like such a dick head. Hopefully, she will be cooled off by the time we get there tonight.

“Hey, you guys are doing that D&D stuff tonight, right?” he asks while tying his shoe.

“Yeah, we are doing it at Cassie’s now. She has some package coming tonight she needs to be there for.”

“Can I come? I know I don’t know what it really is, but I promise to just stay quiet in the corner.” Now I wonder if he did hear what she said about him.

“Sure, now let’s go!”

“Yes, Sir,” Jayme says jokingly. Damn him.