Roughing It

1. Blakely

CHAPTER ONE

blakely

I am so totally screwed.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I stare at the flickering fireplace. Shit. How did this happen?

Of all the things I expected and hoped for when I started this adventure, love wasn’t anywhere on the list. So how did I fall head over heels for a man like Hudson Brooks, a man built for small towns and a quiet life? A man who’s everything I’m not.

My trek into the northern New Mexico mountains was supposed to show the internet trolls I’m more than a pretty face.

No. That’s a lie.

It was my chance to escape the oppressive loneliness of the city and the toxic faux-friendships around me.

But love—I never saw it coming. My brain spirals, thinking of all the ways Hudson and I differ. All the reasons I should go. All the reasons I should stay.

Then my handsome outdoorsman steps up behind me—the heat from the fireplace nothing compared to that of his body—and I melt into his touch. He draws me closer, large hands brushing over my back and side, thumbs glancing the underside of my breasts before settling on my hips.

His gruff voice rumbles in my ear. “It’s your last night. Tomorrow you leave. No more tiny one-room cabin for you, Princess. Unless?—”

Spinning, I press my fingertips to his lips, shivering when he nips them. I don’t want to talk. Think. Instead, I want to relish his calloused touch, his weight on top of me, his scent. I need to imprint this, him , in my mind. If I can’t be brave, at least I can take the beautiful memories of the last thirty days with me to Austin.

I’ll need them.

Hudson frowns, his lips turning down behind my fingers, the faint wrinkles in his brow becoming more prominent. He’s waiting for me to say something. Anything. I open my mouth, then shut it because, for the first time in my life, words fail me.

“I’ve tried to figure out how to get you to stop talking for the last month, and now you go silent on me?” His voice is playfully grumpy but tinged with sadness. He doesn’t want this to end any more than I do.

Giving him a small smile, I press my forehead against his chest and sigh. “Don’t call me Princess.” Then, without another word, I unbutton his shirt, relishing the sensation of the flannel as I tug it off his broad shoulders. My lips trail over his warm skin, stopping at his heart. I rest my ear there, the steady, strong beat of his pulse thumping in my head, matched only by the growing throb between my legs. It’s ridiculous, the effect this man has on me.

I reach lower, unbuttoning his pants. Sliding them down his hips, skimming his powerful thighs. Then I ghost over his thick cock, and the hunger in me sharpens. I long to take him into my mouth, my body .

Hudson takes his time undressing me, stopping as he removes an item of clothing to kiss me, caress me, stare at me as if he’s committing each curve to memory.

“Stay.” He whispers the word against my neck between well-placed kisses.

My eyelids flutter, and I swallow hard, a lump tightening in my throat. “It’s not fair to say that while your lips are on my body, Bear.”

He chuckles, his warm breath against my skin igniting every nerve. The urge to erase any distance between us takes hold, and I lead him to the bed we’ve made ours over the last twenty-nine days.

Hudson drapes himself over me, his weight a comfort I never expected to crave. A comfort I didn’t know I was missing.

The significance of our last night together hangs over us, but then Hudson kisses me, a deep, bruising kiss that curls my toes, and my worries cease. I part my lips, letting the taste of him wash over me. With a soft curse, he pulls away, blazing a trail down my jaw to my neck, the rough edges of his teeth grazing against my skin, making me shudder.

His molten mouth moves lower, taking one of my sensitive nipples, worrying it with his tongue and teeth until I’m arching on the bed. At the moment I need it most, he switches to the other side and repeats his sensual onslaught.

“Fuck me, Blakely, you have the best tits.” He cups my breasts in his calloused hands and pushes them together, nuzzling his face against my already hardened peaks. While he toys with my breasts, he pushes his knee against me, and I work myself against him, chasing the friction I yearn for.

A gentle tsk is the only warning Hudson gives me before pulling his knee back, and the high I’m pursuing slips away.

“So eager. We have all night. Need you to be patient. ”

Like a petulant child, I shake my head and pout.

“My bratty Blakely, you better watch that lip, or someone’s gonna bite it.”

At his words, I push my bottom lip out further and stomp my foot into the mattress for good measure.

With a laughing huff, he nips my lip and gives my inner thigh a sharp spank. The little sparks of pain send a surge of lust coursing through my body.

“Hudson… I need you.”

“And I told you to be patient. If you’re a bad girl, I’ll keep you right on the edge, aching to come, dripping and desperate until the sun comes up.”

Do I want that? Yes. No. Maybe?

His lips trail down my body, leaving no room to focus on anything but his mouth and its journey. He breathes against my stomach and kisses his way lower, lower. Cruelly skipping over where I want him and nibbling the back of my knee instead. His fingers inch up my legs, their path languorous. I wriggle—a fruitless attempt to get him where I need him—but all he grants me for my effort is the barest brushing over my pussy.

Can he hear the throbbing radiating from within me?

“I plan on savoring you.” He looks up from between my thighs. “Especially if this is our last night together.”

His words stab my heart. I want the pain gone; I want him. Only him.

“Please, Bear.” The voice whispering in the dark belongs to a woman on edge, and I startle, realizing it’s my own.

The power he has over me should be disturbing. We’re still strangers in so many ways. Losing myself so easily to anyone should have me clamping my legs shut and running for the hills, but for him, I burn from the inside out. A wanton fire consumes me, one water can’t tame. No, the only way to extinguish it is more fuel. I have to be consumed and turn to ash in his arms.

Blessedly, he slips a finger inside me, and I squeeze my thighs together to keep him there.

“Open your legs, Spitfire. I promise I’ll give you what you want. Let me take care of you.”

His sexy voice curls around my ears and down my spine. I relax my hips and let my legs splay out to the sides, and he rewards me by adding a second finger. I purr, happy to have something, anything, in me, stoking the fire. When his tongue sweeps against me in a wide, flat stroke, time loses all meaning; sensation is all that remains—his fingers, tongue, and teeth. The fire rages.

He lifts his head, forest green eyes glittering, beard and mouth damp. “I’d bathe in this pussy forever if you let me. You gonna make a mess, baby? Give me a shower?”

A wildfire of desire courses through me. “Hudson, wh-when you say things like that… oh, fuck me. Pl-please keep going.” I ache for more. For release. For him to douse the flames. But he keeps adding tinder. A third finger slips into me, the stretch pushing to the delicious line where pain and passion dance. His mouth locks onto my clit, alternating between swirling circles and sucking pulses.

“Moan for me, Blakely. Give me those noises.”

Beholden to his command, I cry out. Thick, rough fingers search and scissor in me; his tongue tickles and teases me. The pleasure he’s giving me reaches its peak.

I am aflame.

It’s too much and not enough. I whimper, my over-sensitive clit needing a break but the rest of me screaming for more. I squirm in his grip, and he relents, pulling his fingers out of my quivering pussy. He places one last chaste kiss below my belly button, leaving goosebumps on my skin as he licks his way back up my body.

He positions himself at my entrance, but I hold a hand up. With a smirk, I swirl my finger in the air, losing myself in the look he gives me. With a hungry growl, he flips us, guiding my spread legs over his hips.

A queen on my throne, I gaze at the delicious man beneath me, drinking him in. Everything about Hudson calls to me. Like one of his snares, he’s the perfect bait to lure me into his depths.

He watches me as though I’m precious and rare. There’s awe in his eyes. And something else. Something deep, primal, ancient—a song sung for millennia.

Love.

“Fuck. You’re a thing of wonder. I need in you. Now.”

Tingles of anticipation shoot through me, every nerve primed and wanting. The fire inside me roars back to a blazing inferno, demanding to be burned out. There’s no more room for patience in either of us, and, in one fluid snap of his hips, I take every inch he has to offer.

“God, Hudson, you feel so good.”

“You were made for me, Blakely. This hungry pussy is where I belong. I have to stuff my dirty girl. Isn’t that right? Your greedy cunt needs my cock.”

“Y-yes!”

“Tell me. Say you need my cock.”

“I need it!”

Hudson slams me down as he thrusts upward. “I said, say you need my cock. Word for word, Blakely. Say your greedy cunt needs my cock.”

Pink rises from my sternum to my cheeks. It isn’t embarrassment at his filthy words—it’s pure heat. “My greedy c-cunt needs your cock. Give it to me, Bear!”

I tighten my walls around him and rotate my hips, the rhythm between us rapid and reckless. Hudson’s thumbs brush my nipples before wandering lower to my hips and guiding my thrusts, forcing himself deeper and deeper into me. I let out a gasp when his teeth latch onto the sensitive spot where my shoulder and neck meet. Euphoria floods my system, and it’s all I can do not to float away as he pants against my neck. I claw at his back, his shoulders, his hair, searching for any purchase I can find.

His nimble fingers flick my clit, and the first thrums of my orgasm blossom. A soft pinch and the pure pounding of his wide cock hitting the perfect place inside me plunge me deep into the cooling waters of release.

Burning. Ash. Relief.

My plaintive sob echoes in the dark. The swirling endorphins of my emotional release battle my panic at the thought of leaving him. The desire to tell him. The need to stay. My head falls forward, and tears drop onto his skin as he drives into me.

“Fuck, Blakely, are you okay?”

“Yes, don’t stop,” I stutter through my tears. In this moment, we’re as close as two people can be, but I want more. I grasp his dark brown hair, as though this will allow me to pull him tighter to my body. Tether his soul to mine.

Reading the signs of his impending release, I squeeze my innermost muscles and roll my body in tandem with his faltering thrusts. One more tight clench of my pussy around him, and he spills inside me. The warmth spreads from between my legs to my heart.

Lifting my face, he thumbs away the tears on my cheeks and brushes delicate, sweet kisses over my forehead, nose, and lips. For all his gentleness, he still steals my breath.

“What happened?”

“I-I’m embarrassed.” I try to hide, but he tightens his grip on my chin, lifting my face so I can’t look away.

“What do you mean? After everything we’ve been through and learned about each other? We’ve seen each other in ways neither of us expected.” His voice drops, growing husky. “I’ve touched every inch of you, licked every inch of you. Seen you vom?—”

I cut him off with a glare and a kiss.

Chuckling, he continues, “Why are you embarrassed?”

“I...” Refusing to let the words die in my throat the way they have so many times over the past few days, I whisper, “ Iloveyou.” Then I squeeze my eyes shut, childishly hoping it means he can’t see me either.

“Open your fucking gorgeous eyes and look at me.” The command in his tone, the same command that riles my feathers and curls my toes, has my gaze snapping to his. “I love you too, you beautifully infuriating creature.”

Just like he has from the beginning, Hudson sees me.

Crushing his mouth to mine, my stomach flutters at his admission. He lifts me ever so slightly, our shared releases dripping down my thighs, then Hudson rolls us so he’s on top. Somehow he’s hard again. Still hard? Whatever the case, he slowly pushes back into me.

This time, there’s no rush or urgency. The pace is unhurried. Purposeful. His lips skim along my jaw before moving to my ear and down my neck. Everywhere he touches prickles. Another orgasm crashes over me, but it isn’t a fire—instead, it’s a cooling, calming balm. A soft, sweet release sealed with murmured I love yous and promises I fear we can’t keep.

We lay in each other’s arms, my cheek resting against his sweaty chest. I trace lazy swirls in the smattering of hair there. The cabin is quiet, the air filled with our commingled scents .

The man I’ve grown to love over the past month guides my face upward and presses his forehead to mine. “Stay.”

The single word holds more power than any other we’ve shared. Heavy. Loaded with expectations and fears and dreams. Stay. How can four letters weigh so much?

New tears form. How many times did he try to have this conversation, only for me to avoid it? But now, time is up, and once again, words fail me.

How can I leave? How can I stay?

“Hudson, I…”

He’s everything I never expected to find: a partner to share my life with, to love, whose strength and spirit keep me from being so alone. With him, I can just be. The good, bad, and ugly of me on display, yet he wants it all. The choice should be easy, right?

Hudson holds me tighter without saying anything, trailing his fingers up and down my back and making soothing shushing noises against my hair before climbing out of bed. He’s back in a flash, a rag in his hand. He takes the time to kiss away my tears and clean me up, then gathers a pile of blankets and wordlessly leads me to the front porch.

Together, we cuddle on the swing in the crisp night air—fall doing its best to fight off winter’s will. I snuggle in, the warmth of his hard body putting the blankets to shame. We sit, wound in each other, taking in the rustling of the trees, the chirps and croaks of the nocturnal wildlife, and the twinkling of the stars. So different from the noisy, bustling city I once thought of as home.

Now, the idea of leaving this behind makes me ache for fresh air, sunsets that make you cry, a tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere, and the man who challenges me, frustrates me, and loves me .

Can I give up everything—my career, my cushy life, the city, being Blakely Bradshaw —and stay here with him?

“Rest.” Hudson’s lips brush against my ear.

The gentle rocking of the swing, the heat of Hudson’s body, and the way he caresses my hair—all on the heels of my mind-melting orgasms—has my brain surrendering its fight. Sleep weighs me down, and I sink into my Bear’s arms, hoping against hope tomorrow won’t find us.