Rugger: The Huntress (The Grey List #3)

Chapter 2

TWO

The blades of the ceiling fan whipped in a circle. The slight chill it provided was hardly enough to settle the heat between my legs.

“Wake the fuck up, Blade. We’re not here to see you mope around about the lack of blood you’re seeing. I’m on my period right now. I got some blood for your ass if you’re that pressed,” Roulette complained, pushing me on her way toward Rather’s bed.

She had hardly made it a foot away before my arm was across her chest and my Beretta was against her dome. She relaxed in my arms. Her lack of fear was almost comical.

“I’ve missed you, too, Rugger.”

“Rugger,” Roaman warned.

I released her. Still, Roaman’s eyes hadn’t left me.

“I told you all to leave her at home. She didn’t want to come anyway,” Royce reminded everyone as she stormed out of the bathroom.

“It’s not about her,” Range responded.

“Let’s not do this today. It’s not about any of us. Today is about Rather.”

“And you all, too. It’s been months since we were all in the same room.”

“She’s right and that’s not all that’s on Rugger’s mind.” Range shook her head.

“It’s that dick,” Roulette chuckled.

“I should’ve taken the shot.”

“And gotten at least six more in your body? I don’t think so, Rugger,” Royce inserted.

I didn’t bother responding. Instead, I made my way to the bed and rested my bottom. Roulette wasn’t wrong. One by one, the girls began to understand the severity of my somberness.

“It is, huh?” Rather asked, headed in my direction.

“I think this is my opportunity to leave,” Rome whispered as she calmly turned and headed for the door.

I didn’t want to stain her virgin roots, so I waited until the door was closed behind her to speak.

“Someone has been two steps ahead of me. It’s baffling. Not to mention how frustrating it is. Sexually. Mentally. I have never experienced this feeling. This level of disappointment.”

“Have you talked to Teddy about it?”

“What should I tell him, Royce? Someone has been knocking off the men with dicks I planned to slide down?”

“Do you think he does not know that you pleasure yourself before some of your kills? The man isn’t fucking stupid, Rugger. He’s aware. And, he’d rather it be that way than you getting your feelings tangled up in a stray,” Roaman explained.

“Seriously, he knows you’re sick and death arouses you,” Roulette added.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh, I’m getting fucked, tonight. Now, you— Yeah, not so much.”

Ignoring her, I sighed, “Someone owes me some dick.”

The room erupted in laughter, softening my heart. The laughter of the women I loved was the greatest sound my ears had ever experienced.

“Now we’re talking!” Range shouted, “Get proactive, baby.”

“That’s the plan.”

“In the meantime, let’s visit the grown up store to get you all the way together. I can’t have you out here sexually frustrated. Someone will lose their life who don't have to.” Roulette clapped her hands.

“Unless he comes with a package,” Royce laughed.

“Whatever. And, I’m not interested in anything artificial. I prefer the real thing. I have enough of those at home. My collection is quite– extensive .”

“Well, that’s not an option right now so – to the store we’re going. And, it doesn’t matter how extensive your collection is, you could always use some new meat. Well, plastic in most cases,” Roulette stated as a matter of fact.

“I’m emailing the owner of the one I am familiar with, now. We’ll need it to ourselves for a while. How does seven sound?” Royce was already on her phone, possibly sending out emails she loved to mark urgent.

“Sounds good. The dress shop closes at five.”

“Everyone is ready,” Roaman informed us. “Rome is already downstairs waiting.”

One after the other, we filed out of Rather’s family room. Champagne flutes led the way out of the door for everyone but Rome and I. Though she was now old enough to drink, she chose not to. And, from the way I was feeling, something stronger was required.

We piled inside the black Mercedes Sprinter. I leaned forward as I walked the aisle of the van due to the height restrictions. When I reached the back, I took a seat and watched my sisters do the same.

Their presence was as painful as it was pleasurable. It was a reminder of how much I missed my mother. How much I missed my father. How much I missed Sunday dinners. How much I missed it all. Missed us all.

It was also a reminder that in addition to the last two hits, Hermen had also been snatched from me. Not solidifying his spot in hell made me sick to my stomach. Though I hadn’t consumed any alcohol, there was still a stirring of the contents in my belly.

Fucking repulsive .

“Are you okay?” Rather’s whisper was accompanied by a nudge.

While the rest of the girls were in active, overwhelming conversation, she heard the quietest of my thoughts.

“Yes.” I nodded.

“Rugger,” she said, cupping my chin and pulling my face in her direction. “It’s okay to not be okay. In this moment, you’re not. So, tell me what you’re feeling.”

“This isn’t a session, Rather.”

“But, I am forever a therapist. Your therapist, just as I am for the others. Unsolicited advice and all. So, tell me. What are you feeling?”

I tilted my head with a shrug. “Things.”

“Things. Be specific.”

“Disappointment, maybe. A bit of rage. Frustration, and I’m not talking sexually. In general.”

“You’re not off your game if that’s what you’re confusing this for. You’re not hunting saints, Rugger. They’re bad men who have pissed off plenty of people. You’re not the only one gunning for them.”

“And, Hermen?” I questioned, “It’s not that simple with his case.”

“He’s put many criminals away.”

“Timing, Rather. You and I both know it’s no coincidence.”

She grew quiet.

“Exactly.”

“Have you looked into it?”

“Teddy forbids it.”

“He doesn’t have to know.”

“He’ll know. He always knows.”

“Luckily, I’ve been assigned to a very special case.”

“Have you now?”

“I have.”

“What case is that?”

“Macy.”

“Macy?” My interest was piqued.

“Yes. That is why she was never on your list. He doesn’t want her dead. He wants her life miserable and–”

“You’re going to make that happen?”

“With pleasure. You’ve been having all the fun. It’s my turn. I figure before she loses the ability to speak she can answer a few questions for you.”

“When and where?”

“My office. Midnight.”

Her office wasn’t filled with comfortable chairs, napkins, and soft white sounds playing over the speakers. It was dark, dingy, and smelled like stale water depending on the day you entered.

“I’ll be there. Now, let’s get off this subject and focus on finding you the dress of your dreams.”

“I already have. We’re just going because I needed an excuse to get them all here. I missed them.”

Me too.

All the time.

Every day.

“You’re clever.”

“I am.”

Satisfied, I sat back and observed the girls from a very short distance. Our unity was my ultimate goal and I wouldn’t stop until we roamed the Clarke streets freely.

9:42p

We overstayed our welcome at the restaurant. The drinks kept coming and so did the laughter. The private room gave us the freedom to unwind. My watchful eye on the vulnerable pack gave them the ability to let their guards down.

It wasn’t until we reached the van again that I accepted the shot Roulette was forcing down my throat.

“That man won’t let anything happen to us. Open your fucking mouth. If I was a dick, it would be wide the fuck open,” she screamed, unnecessarily.

Her veins were protruding. She was enjoying every moment with her siblings, undoubtedly. Everyone doubled over in laughter. Even I allowed a chuckle to slip.

“Here’s to some new dick. It might be fake but it can do shit most of these niggas can’t if we’re being honest.”

With a shake of my head, I opened my mouth and allowed her to pour the Patron down my throat. When I was ready, I tapped her leg for her to stop pouring.

“That’s what the fuck I’m talking about!” Royce chanted.

“Now, we can go,” Roulette told us, still yelling.

We were parked outside of the adult entertainment store. Though we were nearly three hours late, we’d made it, nonetheless. There were seven of us. They’d fetch more money from our pockets than they would’ve in the last three hours they’d been shut down in anticipation of our arrival.

It was a fair trade in my opinion. If they thought otherwise, I didn’t mind changing their minds. I had a few reasons on me. All of them would have them singing a different tune.

Roulette was the first through the door. Royce was the second. Rome followed her. Then, there was Range and Roaman. Lastly, I entered. Smiles coated their pretty faces, but I didn’t find a reason to smile other than their presence. Not only did I suggest we not make the visit, but I wasn’t fond of their exposure.

As if she could read every thought that crossed my mind, Rather interlocked our arms. She rested her head on my shoulder as I watched one of the two employees secure the locks on the doors behind us.

“We’re fine, Rugger. Nothing is going to happen to either of us.”

I didn’t have a rebuttal, so I let her words roam the space between us. They’d gone into one ear and out of the other. Experience had taught me that my family wasn’t invincible.

“Don’t let something that Teddy allowed himself to become part of your trauma story. The circumstances were unusual.”

“So are these.”

“But, we’re here to enjoy each other.”

“This is me enjoying you all.”

“By being the watchdog.”

“By being prepared to shoot anything moving if your freedom and lives are on the line. Asking me to let my guard down is as disrespectful as spit to the face. Go find something to keep your husband entertained. I’ll manage.”

“You’re aggravating,” she groaned. “And, just like him.”

I nodded, agreeing with her observation. She quickly realized I wasn’t in a hurry to join the rest of the girls, so she stormed off in their direction. With both hands in front of the other, I paced from one end of the store to the other.

It wasn’t until Roulette and Range came rushing over that my attention diverted. In their hands were three boxes, all of which caused the contortion of my face.

“Okay, Robo Cop. We’ve narrowed the options down to these three. The vote was unanimous. We figured Black , powerful, but easily concealed.”

The liquor I’d consumed was influencing my actions. Followed by a chuckle was a shake of my head.

“If you all can’t tell already, I’m not interested.”

“I can hear that thumping down there a mile away. I don’t give a fuck what you’re interested in. I’m interested for you. Now, these three or go back to the drawing board?”

She took the box from Range’s hand and held them all up to my face.

“And they all vibrate?” I asked with furrowed brows. “I haven’t slid down on a dick that vibrates since my fair ticket was stamped.”

“Because God is a man. He doesn’t have a pussy, babe. He wasn’t considering how much more satisfying vibration would be than penetration. Instead of a dick getting hard, He should’ve made them motherfuckers vibrate. Now, that would be some good shit,” she sniggered, “Besides, you said your collection is extensive . Don’t act like you didn’t know vibration is key.”

I turned my head thirty degrees, trying to comprehend Roulette’s explanation and simultaneous suggestion. She was unmoving, assuring me she stood behind every word she’d shared.

“So, is that a yes or what?”

I nodded, not prepared to argue with the mouthpiece of the family. She was too loud, too wrong, too rude, and too far in the gutter most times. If my feelings were easily hurt, she’d be resting next to Pops.

“Good, because I wasn’t really asking anyway.”

A dark-colored, thick silicon penis.

A black rose with twelve different modes.

A personal vibrator with ten levels and a remote control.

Roulette was ludacris. The pride in her twirl when she headed in the opposite direction was partial proof.

Though slightly lower lids, I listened to the girls cackle and crack joke after joke. An hour passed before they were all carrying black bags and headed in my direction. Roulette was carrying three, of course.

“Here.” She handed me the smallest of them.

Rome’s attempt to slip past me caused me to lunge forward. I wrapped my fingers around her elbow to stop her stride.

“What?” She sighed, unable to match my gaze.

“You, too?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” she explained, tilting her head toward Royce and Roulette.

“Say no more.”

I released her, understanding the predicament she was in. I was in the same one, but there were four of them on my case. I followed the girls to the Sprinter and took my rightful seat in the back.

They quickly began to settle down as the day’s activities began to take a toll on their bodies. Roaman’s mouth was the first to part with a yawn. One by one, the others followed. I was unmoving. Sleep wouldn’t be visiting me anytime soon. Repetition had taught me that. Almost every night it was a struggle.

Sealed lids followed the inkling of exhaustion. The silence was welcoming. Royce was the last one standing by the twentieth minute of our journey. Her computer screen was the brightest thing on the bus, drawing me in as I tried making out the words on the screen. It didn’t take long for me to figure out she was on the backend of a website featuring our family.

“Work? At this hour?”

“Any hour is a good hour to complete the task I’ve been unsuccessful in completing for the last two years.”

“What is that?”

She quieted and sat up in her seat. Her silence was alarming. I cleared the path in front of me and took the seat next to her.

“What’s the matter?”

“I– we’re– our–” She couldn’t make out a full word. Her mouth hung and her eyes attempted fleeing her skull.

“I– we’re– our?”

“The– the uh– the database.”

“Database?” I shook my head, letting her know I didn’t understand what she was referring to.

“With every detail of our case. The database I’ve been trying to access and erase for two years.”

“Did you just crack it?”

“No. No I didn’t. Someone else did.”

I pulled her computer in my lap as if I knew what the hell was happening on the screen. I was clueless. Still, I stared until she snatched it back.

“What do you mean, Royce? What do you mean someone else cracked it. Is that a good thing or is it–”

“I don’t know, but it feels like a good thing. It seems like a good thing. I’m jus– I’m just trying to figure out how the fuck!”

“Or why the fuck,” I inserted.

“That, too, but how? Seriously. That thing had so many fucking layers. One trip and they’d know someone was trying to wipe their entire system.”

“Completely?”

“This system was designed especially for us. If they wipe it clean, they wipe our existence from their database completely.”

“As if we never existed?”

“As if we never committed a crime and were on their radar.”

“Royce– are you sure?”

“Look at it, Rugger. It’s empty. There’s nothing. Someone might’ve done us a solid.”

“Until we find out, we keep things the way they are. We take no risks. In fact, keep this between you and I.”

“Lips sealed.”

“And, turn your computer around. I don’t know what the hell I’m looking at.”

“I’m not even sure why I tried,” she chuckled, turning the screen toward her again.

“Keep me updated. I want to know more.”

“I will. I promise.”

The ride home felt much swifter than the drive to the bridal shop. I had very little time to settle my thoughts. The information Royce had shared left me with more questions than I’d exit my home with. Now, everything that was happening around me felt intentional.

I pushed through the front door with a hundred thoughts roaming at once. I removed garment after garment as I made my way into the kitchen. The first glass I came across in the cupboard was claimed.

I filled the ice to the midway point of the glass. A slim neck, wide mouth liquor contraption would’ve been more aesthetically pleasing, but I wasn’t here for the aesthetics. I was here for the edge the liquor would take off.

It wasn’t until I made it to the bar that I realized the black bag was still in my hand. Frustrated with even its presence at the moment, I tossed it across the room, hoping it landed on the console that led to the entryway.

Of course .

The bag landed on the narrow surface without flaw. However, it tipped over the black YSL bag that hadn’t moved in days. A crumpled piece of paper and the travel-sized bottle of Riot both fell onto the floor. The sound of the small perfume bottle bursting sent a pang through my chest.

Fuck .

The damage had already been done, so I was in no rush to clean up the mess I’d made. Instead, I tried clearing the one in my head with aged olive juice and vodka. Three fresh olives topped off the beverage.

“Mm.”

The anxiousness building in my chest began to subside. I relaxed my spine, curling it slightly as my palm pressed against my countertop while taking a second sip.

“You’re in your head more than you’re here .”

My father spoke loudly and clearly as he reprimanded me. Whether it was a faulty shot I couldn’t make during training or a difficult task around the house.

“Get out of your head, Rugger. But, if you’re going to be there, remind yourself you’re the best to ever do this. You’re the greatest, my love,” he’d preach.

“But, I’m not.”

We both knew it wasn’t true. There was a boy he’d loaned his DNA to that was three times as good as I was growing up.

“And you never will be if you keep telling yourself that.”

“It’s honesty.”

“It’s security. As long as you think you aren’t the best, you’ll only give second to best effort. But, if you approach every opportunity with the mindset of a master, then you will be.”

I smiled, knowing that I needed to take heed to his words even all these years later. Aside from my father, Rather always knew what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. That was the reason I was still hanging onto her words from the night.

“You’re not off your game if that’s what you’re confusing this for. You’re not hunting saints, Rugger. They’re bad men who have pissed off plenty of people. You’re not the only one gunning for them.”

You’re not off your game.

Get out of your head.

You’re a master of the trade.

You’re not hunting saints.

You’re the greatest, my love.

Finally, my temperature lowered. The chill of my home was recognizable. It pebbled my bare chest and lifted my skin with fine bumps.

I had another sip, staring into the nothingness in front of me. The smell of the fragrance across the room had saliva pooling in my mouth. It was significant to me. To my occupation. To my world.

I craved the scent of death that it masked like a felon on the way to withdraw money that wasn’t rightfully his from the bank. I craved the joy. The comfort. The certainty that death brought along.

“Mm.”

I closed my eyes and drew the glass closer to my lips.

Soon. I reminded myself.

There was an entire network of people needing to end the life of someone who had wronged them and no longer belonged earthside. It would be sooner than later that I was met with the stench that made the hair on my arms curl backward.

By the seventh sip, my curiosity for the contents of the bag had been piqued. I ambled across the room, slowly, as the fragrance became stronger and stronger. It had almost dried completely.

The crumbled note that had absorbed it rested in my palm.

Sonnie .

Thoughts of the man with poor handwriting and persistence that would make almost any woman fold lingered. For a few seconds, I stood, taking him in, again, as visuals reminded me of the other things he possessed that would make a woman fold twice.

My eyes roamed the console, landing on the black bag once again. Then, on the note in my hand. The decision was a rather easy one, though I understood calling a man whose life wouldn’t be ending by the end of our exchange was completely beyond my scope of normalcy.

Nevertheless, I began to unravel the paper after sitting my drink down. My adrenaline pumped a hundred miles per minute. Chartering unknown territory shouldn’t have been so invigorating, but I found it pleasurable.

Defeat deflated my chest as I flattened the paper in my palm. Bleeding blue ink blurred the numbers beyond recognition. I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and rested my skin against the console, taking a second to gather myself.

Squinted eyes proved even 20/20 vision couldn’t distinguish one number from the other. Not even his name was recognizable. With a roll of my eyes, I tossed the paper in the small trash next to the console, grabbed my drink, looped my arm in the handles of the black bag, and trudged up the stairs toward my bedroom.

11:27p

My back pressed against the pillow underneath me. The rose toy was far more enticing than the others. It reminded me of the withered ones in my bedroom. They were weeks old and their death had been the most rewarding to watch.

Each day, they stiffened a bit more. Lost a little more of their beautiful coat. And, soon became unresponsive without any signs of life. Revival wasn’t possible. Their time on earth had expired. They were prepared to revisit the soil but I wasn’t quite ready to part ways.

Okay .

I breathed out, releasing the sexual energy stirring in the pit of my stomach.

Whew.

I spread my legs and placed the freshly cleaned toy between my thighs. Right on my clit is where I rested the deep circle.

Okay .

I pushed the power button and regretted it instantly.

Oh fuck .

The muscles of my vagina clenched. My stomach caved in. The breath I was attempting to release was caught in my throat. My limbs stiffened. My eyes tried escaping my face.

“Shit!”

I pushed the power button I’d held down to start the machine.

“Fuck.”

My body imploded, trying to fuse with the linen of my bed.

“Fuck. Fuck . Mmm.”

Instead of shutting it off as I’d intended, I increased the intensity. Removing the device from my pussy felt impossible. My spine had already weakened and my toes had already curled to the point of pain. My orgasm had arrived and it hit me like a full-sized Beretta M9A4 to the chest.

I didn’t have time to prepare for the overstimulating, overwhelming eruption. It consumed my center and made every inch of my body tingle. My ass bounced off the bed, gyrating midair as I rode the wave. Still, I was unable to remove the menace from my sensitive bulb.

The blaring tone of my cellphone caused my body to fall flat onto the bed. Shame coated me completely. Finally, with shaky hands, I disabled the rose. Heavy breathing followed the unexpected journey I was still struggling to comprehend.

“Yes,” I breathed into the phone.

The dryness of my throat was repulsive. I sounded like I’d just run a marathon and I hadn’t even walked a mile today.

“It’s time to party,” Rather stated calmly and ended the call.

We wouldn’t be partying, but we’d damn sure be having a good time. When the call ended, a text came through almost instantly. It was Rather.

Wash your hands before you come.

A chuckle slipped from my mouth as I began to respond.

Fuck you.

Hope you feel better, now. Time to get to work .

“Ugh,” I groaned, still reeling from the orgasm I’d experienced.

I do . Mentally, I responded to Rather’s text.

I dragged myself out of bed and to the closet where I grabbed a pair of black pants and a black top. I decided on the black Givenchy boots as my shoe for the late night meeting. Once my clothes were settled, I turned on the shower.

Two minutes .

That was all I needed and all my body could withstand. Autumn in Clarke was treacherous near the end. Bathing just before stepping out was nearly suicidal. But, I appreciated life on the edge. In my opinion, it was the only way to live.

As requested, I approached Rather’s office with clean hands, a thoroughly cleaned pistol, and an itchy trigger finger.

Click.

Clack.

Click.

Clack.

My heels crashed into the concrete with each step I made. Muffled squeals led me to the room of the main event. A smile stretched my lips across my face. Gone was the girl in the silk dresses and scarves who didn’t look like she’d ever lifted a finger to do anything but beckon for her maid.

Now, that’s my Rather.

Black covered her, head to toe. Her hair no longer flowed down her back. It was in a high ponytail that almost resembled mine. Instead, her long tresses were twisted neatly into a perfect bun.

She hovered over the gagged and bound body planted in the seat. With a pair of pliers, she peeled off the tenth and final nail. Blood-curdling screams brought us both a sense of pleasure.

Taking a step back, Rather marveled at her work. She was proud. The twinkle in her eye wasn’t to be mistaken for anything other than pride. She folded her arms across her chest with a nod.

“How nice of you to join us,” she welcomed me.

Her eyes left her victim for a mere second before they dismissed me.

“Thanks for the invitation. I can take it fro–”

“No. No you can’t, actually. You can have a seat and enjoy the show. When ready, I’ll let you know.”

“Rather, I’m not here for a fucking show. I’m here for answers.”

“Yet, I’m the one with the special guest. Sit down, Rugger.”

“No.”

“Then, I guess you’re dismissed.”

I stood, facing my sister as she paid me little attention. With a shrug, I removed my gun from my waist, aimed it at her guest and closed the gap between us all.

“Remove that shit from her mouth, Rather. You can play voodoo doll later. I need answers and I need them before she passes out from the level of pain you’re inflicting.”

I didn’t miss the dramatic roll of her eyes or the mumbling under her breath.

“Remind me to never invite you to the party again. You ruin shit.”

“You know why I’m here. Don’t act foolish. Now, take that out of her mouth before she ends up lifeless and we both have to explain to chemistry why there’s a bullet in her head.”