Rugger: The Huntress (The Grey List #3)

Chapter 9

NINE

“One step at a time, Gazelle.”

Inwardly, I found her struggle amusing.

“Well, I could actually walk a lot better if you’d remove the fabric from my eyes.”

“Then it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?”

After weeks in the web Rugger had spun, I was still pinching myself. Everything about our union felt surreal. Since our first date, we’d prioritized time with one another, even though it was against both of our better judgment.

While our arrangement wasn’t completely forbidden, it was unreasonable. But so was the idea of not actively pursuing the woman of my wildest dreams.

“Surprises,” she sighed.

Rugger had made it clear that surprises weren’t her favorite, but I could hardly help myself. Almost every day, there was a new one. I was beginning to think she’d accepted her fate and was adjusting to the nature of them. But only time would tell.

Click.

Clack.

Her heels thudded against the concrete floor once we finally settled on the main level. Poised and confidently, she strutted through the emptiness as if her vision wasn’t restricted.

She’s trained well .

I watched from a short distance as she took the lead. She was clueless and didn’t have a clue where we were headed or where she was exactly. Still, she strutted as if she was on a pre-planned mission.

She knows this place .

The revelation came to me as she reached forward to move the long sheets of plastic out of her way to enter the dark, chilly room. She was almost too good to be true. How she’d discovered one of my hidden gems was beyond me. Though it was obvious she’d never visited, she was familiar with the layout. What she knew, Google Maps hadn’t taught her.

“You know this place,” I called out to her.

She halted mid-stride and squared her shoulders.

With a nod, she admitted, “I know all the places, Sonnie.”

Figured . I summed, but kept quiet. She continued walking. I stood by the entry point, admiring her physique and conviction as she conquered the room.

“What I don’t know is why we’re he–”

She’d reached the center of the room. Her heel collided with the metal chair in front of her, awakening another presence.

“Sonnie–”

There was movement. It startled an unsuspecting Rugger.

“Sonnie,” she called out to me, again.

“I’m here, Gazelle.”

I obliterated the distance between us. From behind, I lifted the black fabric from her eyes and took two steps back. She was frozen in place.

I rounded the two beings that were both paralyzed with grievance. One for the death they understood was near. The other for the death they’d assumed had occurred.

“Hermen,” Gazelle uttered in sheer disbelief. “I thou– I– he died.”

“He hasn’t but tonight he will.”

“Sonnie,” she gasped, turning toward me, “Seriously?”

“That’s your assignment, Gazelle. This wasn’t business. It was personal. I understood that and would never take that away from you. So, I preserved the kill and falsified evidence of his demise. You don’t need all the degrees you have to put two and two together. He’s right here and he’s yours to do as yo–”

Pew .

The first bullet pierced his abdomen.

“ARGH.”

He screamed, but the cloth stuffed in his mouth muffled the sound. I didn’t realize Rugger had drawn her weapon or that she’d prepared it for discharge.

She leaned forward and removed the blindfold from his eyes. Blood leaked from his stained white shirt onto the chair he was seated in. Even if another bullet never entered him, he’d die from the depletion of blood by sunrise.

“Good evening, Professor,” she greeted him.

“Mmm. Mhmm. Mmm.”

“Settle down, now. I promise this won’t take long.”

She placed one foot in front of the other and began pacing the concrete flooring.

“Mmmmmm!”

“I’d replayed this moment in my head for two years. This isn’t exactly how I expected it to go, but this will suffice.”

“Mmhm.”

“I wanted you to witness the death of every member of your team before I took your life. But, The Chemist has a mind of his own and wanted one of you alive as a reminder to never cross the line we’ve drawn for the entire world to see. Macy was the exception. You two have been to one funeral after the other over the last four months.

“Unfortunately, you missed Bradford’s homegoing. It was nice. Sophisticated. Well-organized. It’s almost as if they had planned his memorial before his actual death. Maybe they saw what you all didn’t.”

She neared him and snatched the wadded cloth from his mouth.

“I’m not here to lecture you or ask twenty-one questions, but there is something I’d like to know.”

“You fucking psychotic bitch. You– yo–”

“Quiet now,” she warned. “Besides, I was no bitch two months ago when your dick hardened at the thought of sliding between my legs. Now, was I?”

Fow . My silencer wasn’t attached to the end of my pistol.

When I castrated Hermen, it was loud and it was satisfying.

“Argh! Shit. Shit– man. Argh.” Hermen tried freeing himself from the restraints holding his arms captive but there was no use. He wouldn’t be liberated. Not until his life ended and he met his maker.

“Sonnie!” Gazelle turned to me, chastising me with those pretty rounds of hers.

“Sorry– I– It slipped,” I lied, holding both hands in the air.

The idea of him having the idea of sliding in my shit had me wishing I’d put that bullet in his head when I had the chance instead of saving him for now. This date night wouldn’t have happened and Rugger wouldn’t have gotten her justice, but I’d be at peace with his death.

“Uggghhhh–” he groaned, rocking his body from side to side to relieve the pain as best as he could.

“Why?”

“Come again?” Hermen grunted.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why us when our history made it perfectly clear the result of your operation would be death? Why pursue us?”

“Ugh–”

His pain made it difficult to form words. Gazelle stepped up and placed her silencer under his chin. She lifted it, forcing him to focus on her instead of his pain.

“Because, I was desperate–” he admitted, “Desperate to prove that I wasn’t seeing a ghost and that The Chemist was real, no matter how little the evidence was of his existence.

“I wanted to prove that I hadn’t lost my damn mind like everyone claimed. I had to prove that I wasn’t on the brink of dementia and I wasn’t a washed up detective who was handed the easy cases that no one cared to solve. I’d spent years chasing the legacy and making a fool of myself.

“It was time to give them something to talk about at the office. Give them a reason to give me their undivided attention when I walked through the door. Because if another calendar year passed without him in our possession then I would’ve been the designated coffee guy on desk duty until he retired or kicked the bucket. I wasn’t willing to do either so I bet everything on my team and the hunch I had. They salute me when I walk in, now. Part to make way for me when I approach. Call and ask for my advice or expertise on cases. Shut the hell up when I speak.”

“An ego trip,” she chuckled.

“Call it– ugh– call it what you want.”

“But, was it worth it?” Genuinely curious, she asked.

“Worth what?”

“Was your ego worth your life?”

His silence was deafening. I’d grown sick to my stomach at his explanation. He’d torn her family apart and displaced them all so that the guys in the office would pay him some fucking attention for once. I was repulsed by his desperation for validation. He was pathetic.

Pew .

She put a bullet in his chest, ending his life instantly. She didn’t wait for me. Instead, she headed for the exit with her head low and her heart on her sleeves. The heights one would go to receive recognition from people who didn’t matter or shouldn’t matter never ceased to disgust me.

Just as she reached for the handle of the black SUV, I pressed against the door. My back collided with the coolness of it as I stiffened. Soundlessly, she glared at me. Darkness surrounded us, but her skin still glistened and her eyes still twinkled.

“Are you okay?” I broke the silence.

Her well-being and comfort were priorities for me.

She nodded in response. I pulled her closer and placed my lips on hers.

“Even if you weren’t, that’ll be okay, too.”

She nodded again, wrapping her arms around me before stepping back shortly after. I opened the door and waited for her to get inside. Once she was, I reached over and strapped her into the seat.

“Safety first.”

I rounded the SUV and got into the driver’s seat. When the engine was prepared, I started for the home I was making with Rugger. I scooted closer to the center console and flattened my hand, exposing my palm.

Like magnets, our bodies connected. I looped my fingers between hers and brought the back of her hand up to my lips.

Once.

Twice.

I kissed her skin, savoring the buttery goodness it coated my lips with.

Rugger didn’t mumble a word as I peeled her clothes off, one piece at a time. I stripped her bare and swooped her up in my arms. The weight of her body rested against me until I lowered her into the jacuzzi.

Warm water surrounded us, taking a liking to our skin. The bubbles stuck to us like glue as we acquainted ourselves with the new temperature. Rugger secretly petitioned for her lonesomeness. I supported her cause and said nothing when she added distance between us.

My head tilted backward and my eyes became fixated on the ceiling. Stillness bathed me with gratitude. For the moment. For life. For health. And for the woman just a few feet away from me.

I sealed my lids and released everything that didn’t serve me at the moment. Steam convinced my pores to open and produce small beads of sweat to relieve my body of the heat from the water.

Everything is well . I summed.

Long limbs locked me in place. Rugger’s weight piled on top of me as she settled on my lap. Her arms rounded my neck and her head rested against my left cheek. Because her chest was pressed into mine, I could feel each breath she took. They were deep and expressive.

“What’s wrong?”

She was uneasy about something and I cared to know what.

“I– I wish I could tell you something was the matter– that something was wrong, but I have nothing.”

“Then why the long, dramatic breathing?”

“I’m trying to steady my heart,” she admitted.

“Steady your heart?”

Gazelle nodded.

“Something’s happening in there. Something beyond my control.”

“You care to control it?”

She shook her head.

“I don’t.”

The barriers were slow to come down, but they were falling. And, until she was stripped of them completely when it came to me, I’d continue to nourish the idea of their depletion.

“Then don’t worry, love. Your heart is in good hands.”

Gazelle’s lack of response was expected. However, we didn’t need words to understand the value the moment offered our union. It was clear, which was why we clung to each other until the skin of our fingers and toes wrinkled.

The moon’s glow caressed the skin of Gazelle’s back. Face to face, we lie in bed with the covers around our waistlines. The jacuzzi had been ideal for the insomnia that often followed the completion of an assignment.

“Tell me things–” she yawned.

Her eyes grew misty. Her chest sunk further into the mattress. Her body drew closer to mine.

“Things.”

A smile lifted every detail of her face. I leaned over and placed my lips on hers. I pulled back prepared to spill.

“I’m an only child. My mother and father had me after they were married. I’d have an older sibling but they died in the womb, three months before my mother’s delivery date. I was her miracle child and she loved me like it.”

“And, your fath–”

“Tell me things.”

Deflection wasn’t my intention, but even the thought of my father left me bothered. He ruffled my spirit in the unkindest of ways.

“I am not the only child. I am one of many. Girls, mostly. My father raised me. So did my oldest sibling. They taught me everything I know.”

“They taught you well.”

There was a loud, pregnant pause before Gazelle continued.

“When did the pain stop?”

Though she didn’t clarify it, I was well aware of what she was referring to.

“It didn’t. And, it never does. But, when you’re with me, it hurts less. It loses so much of its significance. Sometimes, I hardly feel a thing.”

“ Me too ,” she confessed, pushing out a stream of air, “That burdens me.”

“It shouldn’t. It should be a sure sign that life goes on, love. Whether we’re ready for it to or not, it will continue.”

“Our time together is teaching me that–amongst so many other things.”

“Like–”

“The fact that my heart works, too. I’m not all flesh and bullets although I’d convinced myself of it.”

I chuckled at the revised phrase. She was so much more than that.

“If I told my family that any of this has happened, they’d swear it’s a lie.”

Her smile was contagious.

“Yeah?”

“They don’t believe I’m capable of being anything but a hunter. Until recently, they were right.”

The twinkle in her eye was evidence of the feelings she harbored for her family.

“You love them.”

“With everything in me,” she breathed out, “They’re all I’ve ever known how to love.”

“Would you consider learning to love someone else?”

She slid her hand up the cold sheets and placed a finger on my cheek. In circles, she swirled, considering the words to come from her mouth next.

“That’s why I’m here. And, that’s why I keep coming back here–no matter what promises I’ve made to myself or what rules of mine I’m breaking. You make it all feel unimportant. Irrelevant. Insignificant.”

“How do I make you feel?”

She drew in a deep breath. The slow release was met with hesitancy. She pulled her arm toward her and tucked it underneath her body. She craved self-comfort. She needed it, because discomfort preceded and would follow whatever was about to come from those lips of hers.

“Like I’m the only girl in the world.”

“Because you’re the only girl in my world, Gazelle. I don’t see anyone else. I’ve never seen anyone else the way I see you.”

“Me either.”

She looked me square in the eyes, unblinking.

“What is it?” I questioned her.

She scooted even closer, obstructing my view of her. But, strangely, I didn’t need to see her anymore. I could feel her.

With her lips against mine, she muttered, “If I give you my heart, please don’t break it.”

Her uneven, shaky voice made my stomach knot. My heart did a full summersault in my chest.

“I won’t.”