Ruined (Devil’s Handmaidens MC Alaska Chapter #3)

Chapter 5

FIVE

MINUET

I wish I could take my motorcycle, but there is still snow on the ground in areas. I hated leaving it, but my vest and it are a part of the life I have to walk away from. Otis and Brutus almost got me busted, but I was able to get the letter written and leave some things for Dylan and my sisters.

As my car climbs out of Fairbanks, my heart aches. I do love Dylan. I’m glad I told him before it all ends. I’ve decided that I’m going to kill Wilder and then myself. I wouldn’t survive prison. It’s too closed in. Plus, I don’t want my family to have to see me in there. It’s a fucked-up thought, but it’s something I’ve contemplated off and on for years.

Right after I was saved, I tried to kill myself several times. The day I found out I was pregnant and had to have an abortion, I started starving myself. Vixen saved my life every time. She found me with my wrists slashed. She found me when I took bottles of pills. But this time, she won’t be there to stop me. My mother’s words roll through my mind.

“You’re better off dead. You’re ruined now and no good. No man will ever want you.”

My tears flow because there is a man who wants me, but I can’t jeopardize his life. As soon as I’m in Nenana, I send a text to Wilder, telling him I’m heading to Anchorage. He’ll chase me down because he wants me more than anyone else. He never got to rape me. As he beat me, he would tell me how I was to be his Eve, and he would make a new society with me.

Wilder

I will have you, little bitch.

His response is exactly what I wanted to see.

I drive until my eyes get heavy, the road blurring in front of me, and pull over in Cantwell at the gas station. I park in front of the store, making sure I’m visible, and lean back my seat to get a little shut-eye.

When I wake up an hour later, I’m more exhausted, but I need to get going. Wilder could come up on me. Another four hours, and I’m rolling into the outskirts of the Mat-Su Valley.

I have a stop to make first. I know it could get back to Riddler, but I need some help.

As I drive through Meadow Lakes, I look up the address on the new phone I picked up before I left Fairbanks. My other phone is at Dylan’s, where I left it after wiping the memory.

When I finally pull up to the clubhouse, I find it’s dark, telling me that everyone is out for the night. I lock up my car, then recline my seat. Might as well get some sleep in. I figure a prospect will be doing rounds soon, maybe in the next hour or so, and they will spot me.

I ’m startled awake when someone raps their knuckles against the glass of my driver’s side window.

“This isn’t a Motel Six. Shove off,” a man says. His cut indicates he’s a prospect.

I reach into the back seat and pull up my lightweight cut. I left my other one at Dylan’s for him to give to Riddler. I left a note for her, stating I wanted to go nomad.

I show the prospect my cut and my badge before opening the door.

“I’m here to see Vortex and Zero,” I state.

“Just a moment.”

The door to the clubhouse opens, and a tall man with long hair and a scar around his right eye steps out. I recognize him from the races last summer. He’s handsome in a rugged, Alaskan guy way. His cut, worn over a plaid flannel, displays the president rocker.

“Frenchie.” He says my name, and I smile at him.

“I need some help, if I could.” I give him the respect he’s due.

“Did Riddler send you?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m here on my own. I need Vortex to remove my GPS so Keys can’t track me, and then I was wondering if you had a place I could crash for a week or so.”

He eyes me for a moment. “Yeah, I do, but are you in trouble?”

I hesitate, thinking carefully about his words.

“Never mind,” he adds before I can answer. “No need to explain. You paused long enough.”

I decide to wait to ask him for some more guns and knives. I have mine, but I’m worried I need a few more.

“Come on.” He waves me toward the doors.

I walk through the doors of the Royal Bastards Mat-Su chapter clubhouse. Their place is nothing like ours. Where we have a small party area, this clubhouse has the whole main floor as a bar. Bodies are sprawled out on sofas and some of the tables.

We head to the back, where his office is. He goes by Zero, but his full road name is Below Zero. I don’t know why, and I’m not going to ask. One thing I learned is that the Handmaidens will break the law only if they have to, but this club is a one percent, which means they break the law all the time. They are into illegal things, not women or drugs, but I don’t want to think about what they really do.

When we enter his office, he kicks someone on the bottom of their boot. I watch as his VP sits up. Aftershock was the man who went to the coalition to get Jinx to ride for them.

“Is this part of the favor we owe you?” Zero asks me.

“No,” I respond without hesitation. “This is for me. I have to go dark for a bit, and I don’t want Keys to find me.”

“What kind of trouble are you in?” Aftershock asks, his voice gruff and thick with sleep.

His dark hair is messy, and his beard is full. Light blue eyes peek out from beneath a rugged brow. Like his president, he’s handsome too, but there’s a darkness to him. A bit of an edge, as if he’s seen the ugly of the world and spit in its face. When he stands, I realize he’s only a bit taller than Dylan. He moves to stand behind his president.

I think about lying to them, but something in Zero’s stare makes me tell him the truth. I look to Aftershock, who is staring me down too. But he doesn’t intimidate me like Zero does.

Zero is much taller, and when he leans forward in his chair, it causes his large arms to flex. For the first time since I came in here, I’m scared and questioning why I did this.

“My past has caught up—” I swallow down my nerves and try again. “My past has come for me and is threatening my sisters and the kids.” I pause. “He also threatened the man I was with. I need to end him.”

“We can help with that.” They don’t even know about my past.

“No. I need to do this. I need a place to lay low and my GPS turned off.”

“Okay. We can help with that. But you should know, if Riddler asks, I will have to tell her the truth,” Zero says honestly.

“I understand.” I stand up and move toward the door.

“Wait,” Aftershock says, and I stop and turn around. “What kind of man is this you’re going after?”

I hold my chin high as I answer, “The man who kidnapped me and gave me to my rapist. He’s the worst that the DHMC has gone against.”

“I’m in.” Aftershock chuckles and straightens from his leaning position against the cabinet behind Zero. “We don’t put up with that shit around here.”

“Shock, show her to the rental on Pittman. Then head home.”

“I can’t.” He doesn’t explain but directs me out of the clubhouse, where Vortex is already scanning my car. He clicks away on his laptop before he turns to Aftershock.

“She’s all set.”

“Follow me.” Aftershock climbs into a standard cab truck with a company logo on the door.

I follow him a couple of miles. He turns away from the Parks Highway and into a neighborhood. When I get out of the car, he’s already at the door, using a key to open it.

“There’s everything you need. I’ll be back later to get more information from you. Get some rest.”

I nod, hating that I’m lying to him.

He hands me the keys and leaves. I lock up behind him, then walk through the small one-bedroom home, checking to make sure everything is secure. I drop my bag on the floor, then collapse onto the bed and fall immediately asleep.