Ruined in Vows (Marchetti Family #3)

6. Luca

Chapter 6

Luca

S lowly walking the casino floor, I take note of the opulence and grandeur of the place as if I am seeing it for the first time. Sometimes, it feels like I am. Shoving the thought away, I continue my round, frustration bubbling beneath my skin when I feel Benito following my every move. Being watched like this makes me feel like a goddamn child, but Vincenzo insisted on it.

My cell phone, buzzing in my suit jacket pocket, draws me from my frustration. Fishing it out, I pause, my jaw ticking at the name flashing on the screen.

Caterina.

The brief thought of why I have no recollection of my wife, or any sort of feelings or emotional attachment to her, crawls beneath my skin. Surely, if what both Vincenzo and Caterina have told me, about us being childhood sweethearts, then I should feel some kind of way about her, that I should know her despite my memory loss. My stomach twists, a small voice in the back of my mind telling me to question things, but…

Shaking my head, I sigh, swiping my finger to answer and bringing it to my ear. “Caterina?” I greet with no hint of warmth.

“Luca, honey. How is work going?” She sounds cautious.

“Fine. What can I do for you?” My tone is cold, dismissive.

Caterina sighs. “I sent our housekeeper to the grocery store to buy ingredients for your favorite meal. Come home early tonight. I want us to spend some quality time together. This distance between us… well, it’s really taking a toll on me, Luca. I hate it. I want to...” her breath hitches and she trails off. “I want us to be like we were before,” she whispers.

That’s all good and well but the problem is, I don’t know what before looks like. Instead of telling her that though, I concede a little. “Okay.”

Really, I should be making more of an effort. It’s been a week since I walked out of our bedroom, leaving my wife to get herself off with a vibrator and my talk with Vincenzo. Despite this life not feeling like mine, I have been told enough times and by many people that it is. I should start immersing myself in it more. Be present in it, instead of focusing on the unanswered questions. It's the only way I am ever going to get back to what things were.

“I can’t promise anything past a nice dinner together, Caterina,” I warn her so she doesn’t get her hopes up. “I just need time.”

“You've had time,” she snaps, a hint of the real Caterina shining through.

And therein lies the problem. From the moment I woke up in my bedroom, my wife has displayed several different personalities. Sometimes, I feel like she is playing the role of her life. Fake, phony and a bitch. Yet other times, she can be warm, loving. So, which personality is the real Caterina Conti? Or Mancini as she is now.

“I’m sorry Luca. I didn’t mean to snap. I just... you understand my frustrations, right? Before everything happened, we were deliriously happy. We wanted to start a family. And now, you can barely look at me, let alone touch me. I want my husband back.” She chokes on a sob. “The Luca Mancini I have loved since I was a young girl. Please come back to me,” she whispers, her breath catching.

Guilt hits me and in this moment, I know that I am the only person in the world that can change things between us. And despite being hesitant, I should at least try. She deserves that much.

Scrubbing a palm across my jaw, I finally respond, “I will try, Caterina. That is all I can give you right now.”

“Okay. As long as you promise to really give us a chance, Luca. Because so far, it doesn't feel like you've been trying at all.”

“I will. Listen, I've got to go. I will see you later for dinner.”

“Okay, honey. I love you,” she says softly, but again, I don't know if it's real.

Without saying those words back, I end the call, turning to face my shadow, who looks like he is about two seconds away from putting a bullet in my head. I frown, at the animosity radiating from him, putting it down to him being as sick of this arrangement as I am.

“Seriously, Benny. Can you not find anything better to do than follow me around? Fuck's sake, I am a grown ass man.”

“Bosses orders,” he rumbles out through clenched teeth, his face a blank mask.

“Well, I am also your boss. Go find someone else to annoy. I’m going home,” I hiss.

He shoves his hands in his pants pockets, his chest heaving and something in his eyes I can't quite decipher. “Does Vincenzo know you are leaving?”

“It's got nothing to do with him. I don't need his permission.” It’s the truth. We are both equal partners here.

Benito growls. “Look, Luca, it's no secret you and I never really saw eye to eye, but you've been through some shit, and we are just looking out for you.” His words don’t sound sincere, but like he is reading them from a script.

It just irritates me further. “I don't need looking after. You all need to just back off already while I get my bearings. Do you not think this is hard enough? I fucking hate that I feel lost, let alone being treated like a child that can't be trusted”

Benito shakes his head. “Whatever, man. I will take care of the casino floor. You do what you gotta do. But just know if you ever hurt Caterina, that eye to eye we didn’t see before? Well let's just say, I will rain hell down on you.”

With that, he spins and walks away leaving me more confused than ever. I watch after him, my brows furrowing as I try to understand the meaning behind his words. Why would Benito care about my marriage? My wife?

His tone when he issued his warning, it didn’t sound like he was just looking out for Caterina. It was more than that… possessive even. I pause. A flicker of a memory flutters in my mind. But once again, it disappears, before I can grab ahold of it. Frustration claws at my chest once more, and even if I felt a whisper of something I curse my stupid mind.

No matter how small of a thing, it was there. Tangible and real.

The possession Benito just displayed; I have felt it before.

In another life, another world, it was there. However fleeting, it’s something to hold onto and explore.

I’m just not sure the emotion reconciles with how I feel or have ever felt about Caterina.

Despite living in a constant loop of confusion, I will not settle until I have my truth.

No matter how awful that is.