Chapter 53
Allegra
C limbing into the back of the SUV, I take a seat as Mamma slides in beside me. All the while I try to ignore the look of pity and concern on her face. My nerves are frazzled, heart pounding at an abnormal rhythm.
Emotion grips me like a vise, and I feel physically sick at what I am about to do.
Alessio climbs in after her, closing the door behind him and sealing my fate.
Glancing forward, I find Gio in the driver’s seat while Dario occupies the passenger seat. Chewing my bottom lip, I once more wonder why Nico, along with Matteo, insisted on getting to the church ahead of me. It doesn’t make sense, considering Nico is walking me down the aisle. But as always, he issued his orders, knowing full well we would do his bidding. He demanded we meet him at the church and that is what we will do.
My husband’s heartbroken, albeit thoughtful face as I walked out of the suite will haunt me until the day I die. It took every bit of self-control in me not to turn around, run into his arms, and never let him go.
Regardless of what I want, I had to remind myself that it is too late to back out now. I am in way too deep, with no way out. My father got me into this mess, but I’m the one that sealed my fate, delivered myself on a silver platter, too caught up in my grief to really understand the implications of what I was doing. Now I must see it through.
Over and over, I reassured Dante that no matter what happens, I will not willingly give Riccardo my body. With my words, I expected his anger, even smashing up the suite; he would be more than in his right to do so. So, his thoughtful nod, as he held me tighter to him, whispering words of love, more than confused me. As a matter of fact, just thinking about the interaction with my husband, as I replay it in my mind, has my brows furrowing in confusion and questions springing to mind.
And now that I think about it, both Dante and Nico have been very blasé about this wedding. Surely, they wouldn’t be this calm if they really thought it was going to happen... Or are they just resigned to the fact that there is no way out for me?
Pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers, my mind goes into overdrive, heart jumping with the what-ifs.
Mamma’s soft voice startles me from my reverie. Releasing my nose, I turn to look at her. She smiles softly, taking my hands in hers and rubbing my knuckles gently.
“ Mia figlia . I am so proud of you and the woman you have become,” she starts, her eyes filling with tears. “Had I known your papà’s intentions I would have never allowed this arrangement to happen. I would have fought him on it, every step of the way. I will never forgive myself for not stepping in before it even became a thing,” she chokes out.
Before I can comfort her, two big hands cup her cheeks, pulling her attention to Alessio. Leaning forward, I see Mamma’s eyes snap to his, longing, and something else I can’t quite decipher in them. I shift uncomfortably, feeling like I’m intruding on something.
“It is not your fault, and I will not have you blaming yourself,” he murmurs, softly but sternly.
Mamma blushes, her eyes shifting to me before moving back to Alessio. She pulls back, making his hands drop from her face. Clearing her throat, she focuses on me, ignoring Alessio. I glance over at him, my heart sinking when I see the dejection at her rejection clearly written all over his face. How I wish Mamma would get her head out of her ass and see him for the amazing man he is. With determination, I make a mental note to talk to her about it once this farce is over.
“I love you, honey. You deserve all the good in life and I know with certainty that one day it will all be yours,” she continues. And I want to throw the words back in her face, tell her she too deserves to be happy. But now is not the time.
“I love you, too, Mamma,” I say honestly, choosing to ignore her other words, my smile tight. I want to believe everything will work out, but until it does, I need to go into this with a realistic mind.
She nods, her eyes trailing to Alessio one more before she faces the front. We sit in silence, the traffic heavy as we make our way the small distance to the church. The further we get from the hotel where my husband is holed up, the duller my heartbeats, and the tighter my throat gets.
Though I tell myself to breathe, to try and relax, my anxiety begins to boil over, gripping my body in a chokehold and threatening to pull me under.
Dropping my head into my lap, not bothered about getting make up on my dress, I try breathing exercises, but it’s no use. The anxiety attack has taken hold, and I feel like I might black out.
“Sweetheart?” Mamma sounds distant, through the fog clouding my sight and sound. “Allegra?” She grabs my shoulders a little harshly, pulling me upright.
Tears stream down my face, my head shaking from side to side when I meet her worried stare. “I–” I choke out, but the rest of the words get caught in my throat.
“Breathe,” Mamma soothes.
I inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Then repeat again. And again. Never stopping, until I finally feel a little calmer.
Sucking in a breath, I rush out. “I don’t think I can do this.”
Mamma nods, like she expected this. “Then we go back to the hotel. Your brother will have to find another way.”
My blood turns to ice at the reminder of why I am doing this. I open my mouth to tell her that no, I have to go through with this, when I notice Gio driving straight past the church and turning down a side street.
“Where are you going? You missed the church,” I point out, though I am sure he is fully aware.
“We aren’t going to the church,” Dario answers coolly.
“What? What the hell is going on? We need to go back,” I snap, releasing my seatbelt and wriggling forward in my seat, only to be pulled back by Alessio and the seatbelt reattached. My glare snaps to him, annoyance slithering through my veins. “Take me to that church. Nico is there. If I don’t show up, there will be a war,” I seethe.
“No,” Alessio states simply.
“What is going on Alessio?” Mamma demands, confusion lacing her tone and I’m glad to know she is just as bewildered as I am.
He turns to Mamma, his face a cool, blank, mask. I would be scared had his eyes not softened slightly when he looked at her. It’s at that moment I know he won’t hurt us. But still. Something is going on, and I want to know what it is.
“Nothing sweetheart. Just relax and trust me.”
She scoffs. “Trust you? That’s kind of hard to do when you three have all but abducted me and my daughter. Is my son aware of what is going on? Or are you all traitors?”
Hurt flashes in Alessio’s eyes but he blinks it away.
Without giving us answers, he faces the front.
A cell phone rings.
My eyes snap to Dario when he fishes his phone out of his pocket and brings it to his ear.
Fear ices my veins at his cold tone when he speaks, and I freeze.
“Yes sir. We have the package.”