Ruin’s Embattlement (Tenillo Guardians AIMC #19)

Ruin Chapter 5

It took everything in me not to go back to the Dad and Mom’s house yesterday and continue to fight to get them to see the mistake Desi was about to make. When I stormed out, I had no destination in mind. I wandered the compound for a while, then ended up finding Konrad. He’d gone to the clubhouse while I went to the house. He said it was something only family should be involved in.

I agreed, so the fact Isaiah stayed galled me even more. They honestly thought of the fucker as family. I was flabbergasted at my family’s easy acceptance of her moving away. It was dangerous. The amount of crime and evil the club had helped clean up in Tenillo and other places attested to that. Desi had already been through one of the worst experiences anyone could go through and survived. Why risk something like that possibly happening again or worse?

As I thought about it later, after I’d excused myself for the night to go to my trailer, I came to a few conclusions. One was that I subconsciously thought Desi and Shane would stay on the compound forever, where we knew they would be the safest. Another was that I wouldn’t be able to accept her choice if she went through with it. This meant if it happened, I’d be doing everything in my power to sabotage it and make her stay or move back. The thought of them being where I, we, couldn’t watch over them made me feel crazy.

After another restless night of little sleep, I was again striding into Mom and Dad’s. I was ready for a fight. I only hoped that asshole, Isaiah, wouldn’t be here. His maneuvering to get her in his house angered me. Since when was she comfortable enough to have an intimate relationship with a guy?

I was half an hour early. I was hoping to have a few minutes alone with Dad and Mom to talk to them about this. Yesterday, they’d stayed away from the clubhouse. Surely, after thinking about it, they would see the pitfalls and risks of her leaving. Walking into the house like I’d done for years, I knew they were probably in the living room or the kitchen. The garage door wasn’t open, so I knew Dad wasn’t in there tinkering with his bike.

The house was eerily quiet. I found no one in either place, so I went down the hall to their bedroom. I hated to knock on their door. You never knew if they might be fooling around. Even though I was an adult, you never truly got comfortable with the idea or proof that your parents had sex. And in my parents’ case, it seemed to happen a lot. Don’t get me wrong, after all those years alone and raising us herself, Mom deserved happiness, but still. Awkward.

As I passed them, I noted that Tyson and Shane’s doors were open, and no one was inside. Desi’s was closed. Coming to a halt, I tapped on my parents’ door. I didn’t hear anything, but that wasn’t a guarantee. After no response, I knocked again, a bit louder. This got an answer.

“We’ll be there in a few minutes. Just got out of the shower,” Dad called out.

“Got it,” I said back. I wasn’t going to think about why they were showering this late when they were both early risers. As I passed Desi’s door a second time, I hesitated. I had the urge to knock and see if she would talk to me one-on-one, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. This was one of the times I missed our closeness the most. In the past, there was nothing we couldn’t talk about. I kept going.

While waiting for them to join me, I got a coke from the fridge and sat in the living room. Four minutes later, I heard footsteps, and then Mom and Dad came into the room. They gave me faint smiles. I watched as they got in his chair, in their favorite position, her on his lap.

“How’re you doing, son?” he asked. Omen was studying me closely.

“Not good. This is a mistake, and I hope you all can see it after we talk. So much could go wrong with them living outside the fence. It’s not just physical dangers. She’s proposing to move in—” The front door opening cut me off. I scowled when Isaiah walked in. What right did he have to walk into this house like he lived here? He didn’t even knock.

“Didn’t anyone teach you to knock?” I snapped.

“Tanner, I mean, Ruin, that’s rude!” Mom reprimanded me.

“As a matter of fact, yes, they did, but Omen and Jackie gave me permission to do it a while ago. Maybe if you were around more, you would know that,” he snapped back.

“I was kinda busy working and protecting the world, so it was safe for people like you,” I shot back.

“Guys, we’re not doing this,” Omen warned.

“You’re right, sorry,” Isaiah said, taking a seat.

Over the next fifteen minutes, we sat in tense silence. Eventually, Tyson, Skye, and Executioner joined us. We were left waiting for Desi. I was about to suggest I get her when she came into the room. I noted how pale and tired she looked. Concern filled me. That would have to wait until we resolved this ridiculous idea. She went straight to the loveseat and sat next to Isaiah. Before I could get the conversation rolling, Omen did.

“We all know why we’re here. I hope everyone took time to think over what Desi said yesterday and have your questions and concerns in order. This is not going to be a fight. I want you all to understand that even if we object to her leaving, she’s an adult and can make her own decisions.”

His speech made it sound like he’d already made up his mind. Well, I wasn’t budging. I planned to let the others say whatever they wanted, and then I’d go. I sat and listened for the next half hour as Mom, Skye, Tyson, Executioner, and Dad spoke. Most of it was encouraging and supportive of her, but there was also an underlying concern. Desi answered their questions and made assurances. In between, her so-called friend would chime in now and again. When they were done, it was my turn.

“I’ve sat here and listened to this, and I have a few questions and observations. First, where is Shane in all this? I see he’s not here, so we can’t ask him what he thinks of moving. He’s never known any other home but here. All of his family and most of his friends are within this fence. It’s his safe place. He loves it. I can’t see him being happy about it.”

“He’s not here, like Jazzy and Josh aren’t, because I wasn’t risking him overhearing a fight. Luckily, yesterday, he had on his earphones and couldn’t hear anything. As for his thoughts, yes, he’s less than overjoyed. He hasn’t had time to see the fun of living in a different spot. While it’s true everyone he knows and loves the most is on the compound, he can’t grow up isolated and only be exposed to the club and a select few. It’s not healthy. He needs not to be afraid to explore and try new things,” Desi stated.

“What does he think of him and the whole living together thing?” I asked next, gesturing to Isaiah.

“Shane loves Isaiah. Being at his house is the one thing he is excited about. He’s been there. Shane even knows which bedroom he wants to be his. He’s thrilled to be able to decorate it,” she responded.

I detested hearing her say Shane loved the guy. Dropping that vein of questioning, I switched to an observation. “In all this deciding to move, you don’t seem at all worried about how it’ll impact Dad and Mom or anyone else here.”

“That’s not true! My worry about that made me wait to say anything,” she protested.

“Well, to me, it’s like you’re throwing all their help and love back in their faces. Why would you do that? To leave the safety of the compound is stupid. You’re putting yourself and Shane at risk, and for what? A fling. Surely, you haven’t forgotten the dangers out there, Desi.”

They were low blows to guilt her and remind her of what she had experienced, but I was desperate. She was slipping away, and we might never get her back once she was gone. What if they got a wild idea and decided to move away from Tenillo? Just the thought made my heart pound.

“How dare you say I’m throwing everything they did for me back in their faces! That isn’t true, and I’ve told them that. I simply grew up. You went off at eighteen to the Corps. Tyson is getting ready to go to the Navy soon, and he’s twenty. Why must I be the only one who stays home like a child? And no, you don’t have to remind me what the dangers are out there. I remember them clearly and will until the day I die,” she snarled. Her face was flushed with anger.

“Desi, I’m—” I went to apologize, but she cut me off.

“I thank you all for sharing your thoughts, but the truth is, this is my life and my decision. The decision is made. We will be moving to Tenillo to live with Isaiah. We want to prepare a few things at his house before we do. If it’s acceptable, Shane and I would like to remain here until it’s done, but if that’s going to cause problems, we’ll go now,” Desi said as she stood. Isaiah got to his feet as well.

“Honey, you’re welcome to stay as long as you need. No one is running you out of your home,” Mom told her as she glared at me. I knew I was in for a lecture when this was over.

“Absolutely, you can stay. If you need help with whatever needs to be done at the house, just let us know. I’d be happy to assist,” Omen added. He gave me a warning look.

Skye and Ex seconded Omen’s offer, and Tyson, the traitor, even said he’d help her move. After a bunch of hugs, everyone dispersed, even Desi and him. She said they were going to get Shane and go to Isaiah’s house for a bit. The door barely closed behind everyone before the lectures began. Mom went first.

“Tanner Fulton, what has gotten into you? Listen, I know that you and Desi are no longer friends, although I have no idea why. But do you dislike her so much that you would remind her of the worst thing to happen to her in her life and deny her a chance at happiness?”

“Mom, I don’t dislike her. I never have. Yes, our friendship has gone by the wayside, but I was hoping to regain at least some of it. But she’s making a mistake, and you all seem fine with letting her. What do we really know about this Isaiah guy? Who’s to say he won’t hurt her? I’m talking emotionally, if not physically. Or what if he convinces her to move away from Tenillo or even out of state? How will you like it if you barely see them? Desi isn’t like everyone else. She needs protection.”

“Desi suffered something horrendous, but she’s fought back from it. She knows how to protect herself. As for Isaiah, he’s been thoroughly vetted, and there’s nothing to indicate he’ll hurt them intentionally. However, there are no guarantees in life, no matter how much we may want them. As for them moving away, I don’t see it, but if it were to happen, we’d find a way to deal,” Mom added.

I glanced at Omen. He was standing there, not saying a word, staring hard at me. His eyes had a faraway look like he was somewhere else. He blinked and then looked at Mom.

“ Mon Bijou , will you give Ruin and me some privacy? I think we need to talk, man-to-man.”

Crap, that didn’t sound good, although I didn’t detect any anger in his tone.

“Of course, I can. I think I’ll see if Sara is available to chat. Call me when you’re done. Love you.” She kissed him before picking up her phone. She came over, squeezed and pecked me on the cheek, and then left. I waited tensely to see what he had to say. He gestured to the couch, so I sat again. He sat in his chair across from me.

“Go ahead, tell me how disappointed you are and what an asshole I am.”

“It sounds like you know those two things already, so no need to repeat them. What I want to ask is, do you know why you’re acting this way?”

His calm manner and what he said took me aback. “I told you. I’m worried about their safety and that she’ll get hurt. Even if this guy checked out, that doesn’t mean he can’t do something unexpected or that she won’t stumble into danger.”

“I know you said all that, but it’s not why you’re so adamant they stay or why you’re so against Isaiah.”

“I’m lost then because that’s why.”

“You and Desi were so close, and then, bam, you began to argue. It all started when we went to New York.”

“Yeah, because she began acting like someone different and letting that guy play her. It’s been all downhill since.”

“No, she acted like a normal teenager who enjoyed a boy’s attention. I’ve got to ask you and want an honest answer.”

“Okay.”

“Are you a virgin?”

I was stunned by his question. Although he knew the answer, I answered him anyway. “No, I’m not. What does that have to do with anything?”

“It does because you hate the idea that Desi is having a meaningful relationship with a guy, and to think it might be sexual is killing you.”

“I don’t want her to get hurt. You know what she went through. How can she stand to let him be close to her?”

“Why not? Or were you the only one who should be able to be close to her? For her to lean on and, when the time comes, to have a sexual relationship with?”

I came bounding to my feet on the last part. “She’s my sister! That’s disgusting.”

“No, she’s not your sister, not in a blood way. Ruin, you hate all this because you love her and refuse to deal with those feelings. What do you think the family and the club would say if you told them you were interested in Desi romantically?”

I paced, trying to calm down and think. He pushed again. “Don’t think up an excuse. Tell me. Tell me the worst thing that could happen if you said you want Desi for yourself—that you love her and want a life with her?” he asked more insistently and louder.

Whipping around, I shouted my answer. “You’ll all think I’m disgusting and will disown me as a pervert. I’ll be no better than those men who hurt her!”

All the fight went out of me. There it was. The secret I’d fought, not even to acknowledge to myself. The reason I’d argued and pushed Desi away all these years was because I found I had deep feelings for her. I loved her, and the thought of her with anyone else filled me with fury and fear. But to admit it, I would lose Desi, Shane, my whole family, and my club. Christ, now that Omen knew, the club would in a matter of hours. I was fucked.

“I’ll get my shit and leave,” I said brokenly as I moved slowly toward the front of the house. The next thing I knew, I was grabbed, spun around, and hugged. As Omen held me, he whispered in my ear. Tears were in my eyes. Some badass Marine I was.

“There’ll be no leaving. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not a pervert or anything like those men who hurt our Desi. Your feelings for her aren’t wrong or unnatural. I’ve been waiting and praying that you’d admit them and go after what you want, but you’re stubborn. The avoidance, denial, and lying are over, son. It’s time to own up to what you feel and want and show her.”

As he let go of me, I had to wipe away a stray tear. He guided me back to the couch, pushed me down, and sat beside me. “I had my suspicions about why you two started fighting back at the beginning, but after you left for the Marines, each encounter you had with her after that only solidified my certainty. I forced myself to stay out of it, to let the two of you work it out yourselves. I doubt I’m the only one around here who suspects. So my question is, what’re you gonna do about it? Are you allowing her to live with another man, or are you stepping up to show her the truth and convince her to stay here and be with you?”

“Dad, I, fuck, how can you expect me to do that? She hates me. If I say I love her, it’ll only make her run further and gross her out. I don’t want that. My feelings will have to remain our secret. If I can get her friendship back, I’ll be okay.”

“Like hell, you will. It’ll drive you insane. You think it is now? Just wait until she’s with a guy, and they get engaged and then married. What’ll happen when she starts having children with him?”

It felt like he was driving knives into my chest. The images those words painted in my head made me sick, and it was hard to breathe. “Don’t,” was all I could say.

“Exactly. I can say with what I believe is ninety-five percent certainty that telling her about your true feelings won’t make her run or be disgusted with you.”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“Because everything in me says that Desi loves you, too.”

I sat there with my mouth open. I gathered my scattered brain and finally could say something in return. “If she does, why is she so gung-ho to move in with another man?”

“Isaiah and Desi are close friends, without a doubt, but I’ve never gotten a vibe from them that says they like each other romantically. He’s a great friend who offered her a place for them to live.”

“You really think that’s it?” I asked, battling inside not to become hopeful.

“I do. But that doesn’t mean your work isn’t cut out for you. Just telling her might not be enough. You’ve done a good job of pushing her away. If you want her, you can’t be with other women. If you still need them, you don’t love her how you should, and you need to keep your mouth shut.” There was a distinct warning in his voice.

“I know that other women are a no.”

“Do you? Because the other night, you had those hang arounds with you.”

“I didn’t sleep with any of them. They came up and were talking. I wasn’t rude because I didn’t want to destroy any of the others’ chances with them, but that was it. I got out of there as fast as I could. I haven’t been with anyone in several months.” I was just confessing everything now. Then, I thought of something that dampened my hope. “But if I tell her, what if she thinks it’s a ploy to get her to stay here? That I don’t mean it.”

“She might. This is why you must show her. It won’t be a one-time thing, and you’re done. You have to make her feel it. I suggest you take it a step at a time, but don’t wait too long to start. She’s determined to move. It would be better if she didn’t, but it might take you to persuade her until after she’s living with Isaiah.”

“Christ, I’ve got to get shit in gear. Please, don’t say anything to anyone. Not yet. I will, but I need time. I know you and Mom don’t keep secrets from each other unless it’s club business, but can this stay under wraps for a bit?” I hated to ask.

“Sure, I can for a little while. I suggest you put your plan in place and then tell the immediate family. From there, you can decide when and how to tell the others.”

“Good idea. I can’t thank you enough. You’ve given me hope.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Now, if you don’t need to talk about anything else, I’ll let your mom know she can come home.”

“Nope, I think this was more than enough.”

After he sent the text to Mom, I excused myself to go to my trailer and think. I did have a bunch to figure out. Along with everyone else, I wasn’t telling Konrad about my true feelings for Desi. I didn’t want to chance him slipping up and telling someone.

???

The next day, I found it hard to concentrate at work, but I forced myself to do it. I couldn’t afford to fuck things up there just because I was lost in my plans to win Desi. I was working on the hood of a truck that a guy brought in, asking us to do a cool design. It was intricate and took most of the day to get started on. It would take me all week to do it right. Concentrating, I finally got into a groove, and I was pleasantly surprised to look up and see that it was time to head home.

I could’ve stayed as long as I wanted, but tonight was church. We didn’t have it last Monday, so this would be my first one. I was pumped and jittery about it at the same time. I would propose Konrad as a prospect and see if the club would go for it. Rather ballsy for a brand-new patch to offer to sponsor a person at his first church, but I was gonna do it.

The ride home on my bike was terrific, though too short. I’d gotten it out of storage at Mom and Dad’s last week. If Konrad wasn’t with me, I rode. I’d been letting him use my truck to get around. After tonight, if the club said yes, he’d arrange for his stuff to come here. He had his bike, more personal belongings, and a car. Much to his disgust, his motorcycle wasn’t a Harley, but he was saving for one. You weren’t required to have a Harley to be in the club. Most of us just had one. We’d take a weekend day and get his things. We could do it in a day because it was four hours there and four hours back. It was cheaper than paying for his things to be moved.

I got home in time to clean up but not to eat before heading over. Konrad was in the common room. I had enough time to stop and say hello. He was quiet. That told me he was worried. From my experience, worry was the only thing that made him nontalkative.

“Don’t stress it. I’m asking, and you’ll have your answer before the night is through. Unless you screwed up and didn’t tell me, or you’re a secret serial killer, I don’t think they’ll say no.”

“Ha, ha, where the hell do you get your ideas? As if you’ve ever met a serial killer,” he scoffed. I hid my grin and wondered what he’d say or do if I told him he’d met one. Adara’s past was a heavily guarded secret.

“Have a drink, but not too many, because I expect to come out here and have a celebratory one, and the guys will, too. Can’t have you drunk and on your ass. It’s not a good first impression as a prospect. They might be nice and not put you to work until tomorrow, but watch out when they do. I can’t wait to boss your ass around,” I told him with a smirk.

“Well, since I’m not one yet, I can do this and get away with it. Fuck you with a dry corncob, Ruin,” he said as he gave me the middle finger just to drive it home. I laughed and slapped his back.

“No thanks, I’m not into your kinky Arkansas sex toys,” I joked. We were in an insulting tirade when we were interrupted by Saint.

“We need everyone’s asses in church. Better not keep Sin waiting.”

That was enough to get all of us on our feet. We headed down the hall to the big room where all the action happened. I’d been in it a couple of times, but this would be the first as a patched member. As I came through the door, a flash went off. I saw it was Omen holding his cell phone. He was grinning.

“I had to capture your face for posterity. Your first official church is special. This one goes on the wall,” he said as he pointed to the walls around the room.

They were covered in photos from the first day Sin started the club. It was crazy to think it had been only slightly less than seven years since he made it official. He, Saint, Executioner, and Talon had been the first to want to form it. Before it went live, Pitbull, Phantom, Rampage, Wrecker, Torpedo, and Boomer also asked to be part of it. The club was now twenty-three members strong. I had no idea how large we’d grow before either stopping or maybe forming another chapter.

Glancing at the huge table, I realized I had no clue where to sit. Omen came to my rescue. He pointed to a chair across the table from him, and I gladly took it. Once everyone was seated and the doors were closed, Sin brought the meeting to order.

“I’d like to start by welcoming Ruin to his first church. This one will be pretty calm, and if this bunch doesn’t gab like old hens, we’ll be out within an hour or so.” He grinned.

There were jeers and boos from around the table, followed by them welcoming me. When they stopped, I nodded. “Thanks, Pres, everyone. I’m here to learn and do whatever I can.”

“Hear that? Ah, to be young and eager,” Pitbull said with a sigh. Talon mouthed lazy asshole to him.

Before they could go at it, Sin thumped the table. I sat back and watched as those who managed one of the businesses were asked to report on issues and concerns. As they did, Talon would update everyone on how each business performed the month before. It was like what I assumed a corporate meeting would be like. After those were done, we looked into any issues the remaining members might have. A few employee problems were already in the process of being dealt with, but nothing major.

After those were discussed, Phantom brought up something new. It was a great segue to what I wanted to discuss. “We need to talk about Niam. I don’t know if he’s going to make it. After the way he acted when Ruin showed up and wouldn’t listen to him or let them through the gate, I talked to him. He has this underlying attitude that rubs me wrong. Does anyone else see it, or is it just me? I’m starting to want to punch him in the face.”

This got several remarks from others, all agreeing. Sin sighed. “I hoped as he settled in that chip or whatever he has on his shoulders would disappear, but it hasn’t. Since we patched in Ruin, it’s getting worse. I hate to say it, but we need more prospects. Does anyone have a candidate? Ruin, what about your buddy Konrad? Has he decided yet if he wants to do it?”

“I’m glad you asked. I was going to bring it up myself. I talked to him, and he likes what he sees. He’s ready to go for it if the club is willing to have him. He knows it depends on how you like him and his background check coming back clear.”

“There’s nothing that cropped up in my check to make me think there’s anything we should be worried about. He’s clear on that point. As for liking him, personally, I do,” Phantom volunteered.

With his blessing, it quickly went around the table, and each member was asked if they were a yea or nay for letting him prospect. Each guy ultimately voted yes. I knew Konrad would be psyched. The others were encouraged to find other candidates, and then church was dismissed. I was eager to tell Konrad the good news.

As we came out and filled the common room, I saw Konrad’s anxious face. I kept mine somber as I approached him. No one said a word to him. It was time to start screwing with him. I shook my head and looked rueful as I got to him. His face fell.

“I’m sorry, man. I tried my best. I begged, pleaded, and even offered them money if they’d do it, but they refused. They said there was no damn way they weren’t allowing you to prospect for us. I’m sick.”

It took my exact words several seconds to sink in. When they did, he swore. “You’re a buddy fucker extraordinaire, Ruin. Bastard, you had me ready to pack my bag and leave. They actually said yes?” he tacked on to the end.

“YES!” was shouted from around the room. As a huge smile spread across his face and the guys came over to congratulate him and start his hazing, I stood there and laughed.