Ruin’s Embattlement (Tenillo Guardians AIMC #19)

Ruin

I knew I was confusing Desi, but I was taking a different tactic. My attempts to speak to her had failed this week, so this time, I just went along and made small talk. Even when she refused to tell me whether she’d been on a date with Isaiah, I refused to lose my cool. I knew talking shit about him would push her further away. I just kept praying he was nothing more than a friend, as Dad said.

I wanted to tell her how good she looked. She was always stunning, but seeing her all dolled up struck me. I had to ensure she didn’t notice anything, such as the lump growing in my jeans. There were several moments of panic when I let myself contemplate that she had been on a date with Isaiah. I didn’t know what I’d do if it turned out there were feelings for him other than friendship. I’d have to go live in the South Pole or something.

I missed having time with Shane. That wasn’t a ploy. I’d been with him every day since he was born until he was two years old. When I was away in the Marines, he’d talk to me on the phone whenever I called home. When I’d come back on leave, he’d want to spend time with me, even if his mom and I were at odds. I enjoyed that time with him. It was different from the time I spent with Josh and Jasmine. After I’d acknowledged my feelings for Desi, I knew now that it was because I saw him as my son, not my nephew.

I had a blast while he took his bath. I made a bubble hat and mustache on him and played with his bath toys while he told me about his school day and friends. He was full of stories. He was yawning by the time he was ready to get out of the tub. I knew he wouldn’t last long, but I still wanted to read to him. When he was dried off and dressed, I sent him to his room to find the book he wanted me to read and get into bed. I saw Desi’s door was closed, so I knocked.

“Yes?” she called out.

“He’s done, and we’re about to read. He wants you to come listen to the story.” It wasn’t a lie. I might’ve suggested it to him, but he jumped on it.

“Oh, alright. I’ll be there in a minute.”

As I went to walk away, I heard her say, “Isaiah, I need to go.” I forced myself to leave rather than eavesdrop.

When I entered Shane’s room, he was under the covers and had a book on the bed. He patted the right side of the mattress. “Lay here and read, Tan—, oops, Ruin.”

“Sure thing. Where’s Mommy gonna lay?”

“She can be on this side,” he announced, patting the left side. He was mainly in the middle. I lie down, making sure to keep my boots off the bed. I’d just gotten settled when Desi came in. She appeared to hesitate.

“Mommy, you lay here, and Ruin is going to read the boy part, and you can do the girl,” he told her excitedly. It was something we’d done with him since he was tiny. She hastened over and got in place next to him. He handed me the book and then threw an arm over us. I held the book balanced on his little belly.

And just like that, the past four years disappeared. We got on a roll and were seamlessly reading to him. We kept going until we finished the story, despite him drifting off about halfway through it. Easing off the bed, I put the book on his shelf while she covered him better and kissed his cheek. Leaving the room last, I shut off the light and closed his door.

She stood in the hallway. “Thank you for that. He loves it when he can have the voices done. He tells Tyson and Dad they don’t do it the same as you.” She smiled.

“Well, it’s good to hear I haven’t been replaced.” We went to the living room. She sat down on the loveseat. Dad and Mom were nowhere to be seen. When I sat next to her, she gave me a surprised look.

“Shouldn’t you be headed over to the clubhouse? It’s getting late. I bet they’re wondering where you are. I know Konrad can’t hang out like he did before starting to prospect, but the others are there. Arrow and Hazard probably would love to hang and get to know you better.”

“We have been, but they can live without me tonight. I thought I’d stay here and we could watch a movie. We haven’t seen a good horror movie together in ages. You find one, and I’ll make us popcorn and grab drinks.” I stood up. Before I made it out of the room, she stopped me.

“Ruin, what are you doing? You’re acting weird. You and I haven’t watched a movie in four years, the same length of time it’s been since we’ve read a story to Shane together. I don’t know what you’re up to, but you need to stop.”

“I’m not up to anything other than trying to get you and me back to where we used to be. We were comfortable with each other, shared our secrets, watched movies, and hung out.”

“We did, but that was before.”

“Before I went to the Marines.”

“No, even before you left, we started not to do those things. Listen, if Mom and Dad asked you to do this, there’s no need. We can be civil to each other. We’re adults. There’s no need to pretend you like me or that you want to spend time with me.”

“Desi, come here. We need to talk.”

“No, I’m tired and want to go to bed. Thank you for helping Shane with his bath and reading to him.”

I had two choices—blurt out my true feelings for her or stand there arguing with her, trying to convince her to stay. I doubted I’d get anywhere with the last one, and the former would have her screaming and running. She wouldn’t believe me. I recalled Omen’s advice that I had to show her, not just tell her.

“If you want to go to bed, I can’t stop you, but I do want us to fix what has been broken between us. I want my Desi back—my best friend, who I could tell anything to. It’s been awful not having you in my life.”

Her mouth fell open in shock. She stared at me and didn’t say anything for several moments, but then she stood up. “Are you kidding me? You were the one who froze me out of your life by being an unbearable jackass. We went to New York, and you changed overnight. When we came home, it continued. Now, you expect me to believe you didn’t want that and that you haven’t been criticizing and judging me for years! You called me a terrible mother!” she almost shouted.

“I didn’t mean it that way, and I know I have so much to make up for and explain. All I need is for you to give me a chance to do it. I swear, it’ll become clear. All I’m asking is that you please don’t freeze me out. Give us a chance.”

I waited in almost pain to hear what she would say. If she told me to go to hell, I’d have to accept it for now. After two or three minutes, she responded.

“I swear if this is some game you’re playing, I’ll kill you. Alright, I’ll try, but if you go back to being an unbearable asshole again, I’m done. And I’m not making promises. We can talk later. Tonight, I need sleep. Good night.”

I felt lightheaded with relief. As she left the room, I remembered to call out, “Goodnight, see you tomorrow.”

I left the house, but I went to my trailer rather than the clubhouse. I had more strategies to figure out how to win back my best friend and hopefully win her love—the way a woman loved a man—a love for a long lifetime.