Rumor Has It (Longwood U)

Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

DAK

Once, when you looked at Edin, you’d see nothing but fun and laughter. He was the kind of guy who was hot and knew it. Girls just ate up his head of curls and his bright green eyes. He was lean and even as a young teen, he’d started to get some definition in his muscles. Something he didn’t have any problems showing off.

This confidence, his charm, his ability to get attention anywhere he went was what got him into trouble. Getting girlfriends was never an issue for this man. Not even as a young child when it was more about…

Hmm… What is it about when you’re six or seven and call someone your girlfriend or boyfriend? Emulating what you see adults doing, I suppose. Or older siblings, maybe. I don’t know. But even as a kid, he always had a ‘girlfriend,’ even if it was just some random title back in the day.

In middle school, as that progression from childhood into puberty hit, Edin already started to get into trouble. He’d been suspended in eighth grade for being caught under the bleachers with his girlfriend’s hand in his pants. He’d been grounded so many times for sexual things before we even hit high school.

His mother always scolded him that he was in far too much of a hurry to grow up and he needed to just enjoy being a kid. Saying that soon enough, he’d have adult responsibilities. Edin always rolled his eyes .

But his mother was right. Just after Edin’s fifteenth birthday, a girl that hadn’t actually ever been his girlfriend, but who he had hooked up with (yes, at fifteen, the fucker), turned up pregnant. Prenatal testing proved it was his with something like 98% probability. No matter how much Edin screamed that there was still 2% likelihood that it wasn’t his, he’d made his bed.

Edin’s parents were furious. Absolutely fucking furious. They pulled him out of hockey, which was the only time I’d ever seen Edin cry, and forced him to be an adult.

I was there that day. He’d been terrified to tell his parents, and for good reason.

“If you can make adult decisions to have sex, then fine. You’re going to be an adult since you’re in such a damn hurry.”

So at fifteen, I watched the light fade from my best friend’s eyes. The life and drive in him completely faded. Their parents forced them to get married.

All in one year—Edin lost the thing he loved the most in the world, gained a wife, and a child.

He’s never been the same. Edin hates his life. He hates his wife. He hates everything and everyone except his baby daughter. Who isn’t actually a baby anymore, but four years old.

Edin’s eyes close as I hear Lydia scream in the background. He takes a deep, cleansing breath, presses his lips into a thin line, and gets up from where he’d been sitting. With a tablet in his hand, I see the world around him shift and move. A door opens and then he’s outside.

I can still hear Lydia.

“I hate her,” he mutters.

Once, I used to tease him about sticking his dick in her. He should have thought about how he felt about her then. But I’ve stopped that. They’re both miserable, so my teasing isn’t funny anymore.

“I know,” I say, because I’m not sure what else to say. There’s the compulsion to say I’m sorry, even though I know it’s not my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Edin moves away from the house until he can no longer hear Lydia.

“She’s not yelling at Morgan, is she? ”

He shakes his head. “No. I don’t allow that.”

I knew he didn’t. The one place he ever gets into confrontations with Lydia is when it’s concerning their daughter.

“What’s she yelling about?”

He shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “No idea. I think she likes the sound of her voice.”

I used to tell him it would get better. But after five years, I think it’s only getting worse. There is no better in sight.

“Anyway, what were you saying?”

My troubles seem so small now, so I just shake my head. Sexual confusion is like the smallest problem between the two of us. “I don’t know,” I lie.

“Don’t do that,” he says quietly. “I need to talk about literally anything else than this fucking life. Tell me something. Please.”

“Ezlo’s still crushing on the goalie,” I tell him.

He snorts. “I meant something important.”

I laugh. “I have nothing important.”

“You’re lying. You were definitely working up to telling me something. Come on, Dak. Don’t flake on me like everyone else.”

He’s lost everything and everyone in his life since getting married and having a kid at fifteen. I suppose that’s bound to happen when you’re no longer a regular teenager, but a husband and father. He didn’t get to enjoy any high school experience after that. No dances, no trips, no games, unless he took them along.

In reality, his parents are lucky he graduated. There was a while that I thought he’d completely checked out of everything except his daughter. I think that’s literally the only thing keeping him going.

“I’ve been… seeing someone,” I say slowly.

Edin smiles. “Yeah? Tell me about her.”

I shake my head. “There’s not a lot to tell. We’ve been mostly fooling around.”

His smile fades. “Bro, please tell me you’ve learned from my life fuckups.”

“I said fooling around. Not fucking. I’m not getting anyone pregnant.”

Edin nods. “Just be careful,” he admonishes, sighing. His eyes flicker up and a smile breaks across his face. That means Morgan has come outside. Morgan is the only one he smiles for these days .

“Hey, baby. What’re you doing? Where are your shoes?”

He crouches and I get a view of trees behind him now instead of the sky. Morgan comes around and grins into the tablet. “Hi,” she says.

“Hi, Mo Mo. You’re so big,” I coo.

Her smile widens. “Almost five,” she tells me, holding up a whole hand, her fingers splayed. “I start school next year.”

“I know. I’m so proud of you. Can you write your name?”

Her eyes go wide, and she nods enthusiastically. “I’ll show you.”

Morgan disappears and runs off. “Get your shoes too, Mo,” Edin calls after her. Then his attention turns to me. “You don’t have to entertain her.”

“I’m not.”

“Tell me about this girl,” he prompts again.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say that there is no girl, but there’s been a guy I’ve been obsessed with since I first saw him last year. But I didn’t tell him then and I don’t think I can bring myself to do so now. So I just shake my head. “There’s not a lot of talking. Just… kissing. Touching.”

He chuckles. “Good. Live your life while you can.”

I fear he has a very dark outlook on marriage at this point. Maybe relationships in general. I can only imagine how hopeless he feels. How defeated. Knowing that this is exactly what his life will consist of until he dies.

The thing is, I’m really worried about him. Eventually, this burden and misery will be too much. Edin has zero life in him. No interest in anything at all. I’m scared about where that’s going to lead him.

“Edin, come visit?” I ask.

He smiles. “You got room for my baby too?”

“Yes. Ezlo will just eat her up. Come visit. Please.”

I desperately need to show him that there’s more in life than what he’s living. There are other options. He doesn’t need to stay where he is.

“I don’t know,” he says. “Taking time off is… not easy.”

“Just you two,” I push, dangling the promise of no Lydia. “A week. A long weekend. I miss you.”

He smiles. “I miss you too, Dak. ”

“Think about it. Seriously. Okay?”

Edin nods. When his eyes rise again, I know Morgan’s back. The camera flips when Edin sits at the small child-sized picnic table in their yard. She looks up into the camera with dark brown curls and green eyes just like her father. “Are you watching, Uncle Dak?”

“I’m watching, Mo Mo.”

Her R is backwards, as is her N, but she does damn well.

“Nice job, Mo. That’s incredible.”

“She writes better than I do,” Edin muses. His hand pops into frame as he runs his fingers through her curls. I don’t need to see his face to know that he’s looking at her with a soft smile.

“Same,” I say. “I think the last time someone could read my handwriting was when I was five.”

Morgan giggles. Her attention turns back to her paper, and she continues to write. I’m not sure if there are words in it until I realize she’s writing her last name, too. The page says Morgan Levvvin.

“She likes Vs,” Edin says, chuckling.

I laugh.

The camera turns back to him and I’m happy to see that his smile is still there. Even if it’s mostly faded. “She’s going to be out here any minute. Talk again soon?”

I nod. “Think about what I said. Okay? Promise me?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“Good. Take care of yourself.”

The half smile I receive is… empty. He nods listlessly and the call ends.

I dial my father as I drop onto a bench outside. My fathers are Dad, Pops, and Otec, which is father in Czech. Dad answers.

“Glad that our only son hasn’t gotten too old for us,” he greets.

“Phone works both ways, Dad,” I retort.

He chuckles. “What’s up? How’s school?”

“Good. Listen, before we catch up, I need a favor.”

“Uh oh.”

“No, it’s not… whatever you’re thinking. I just want you to check on Edin sometimes. He’s… lifeless. I’m worried.”

“We already do,” Dad says, his voice softer. “And I agree. I’m not sure how to help him, though. I’m afraid he’s to the point in his life where he needs to help himself. He needs to make some decisions to change his situation.”

“I know that. But I don’t think he believes he has choices. I just need him to know he does, and I don’t think he believes me.”

“I’ll see what we can do.”

“Encourage him to come visit me. Him and Mo.”

“Good idea. That’ll be good for him.”

“I know. I think if I can get him out here, it’ll go a long way to proving to him that there are other options than what he thinks he’s obligated to do. He’s forgetting that he’s not a child anymore. He doesn’t have to stay there.”

“I agree.”

“Okay, thanks. What’re you guys doing now that I don’t live there? Are your lives so empty that you’re considering a second child?” I ask.

Dad laughs. “No. One is enough. Can’t outdo perfection.”

I grin. “I know, right?”

He laughs.

“What’re Pops and Otec doing?”

“I’m not sure you want that answer.”

I cringe. “No, you’re right. I don’t.” I look up and my breath catches as I see River walking at the far end of the park with someone. He’s smiling. God he’s fucking gorgeous.

I’ve run out six times now. Six times total. Every time his finger gets near my hole. It’s not that I don’t desperately want to fuck at this point. I do. I’m desperate. But… the cameras make me crazy.

“Dad, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Did the cameras ever bother you?”

There’s a pause. “What cameras?”

“In hockey.” Sure, not quite the same thing, but my fathers are all very different. Jakub, my otec, is reserved, observant, and very… papa bear. Ethan, Pops, is loud and enthusiastic. Completely outgoing. But Dad, Creed, is absolutely the opposite of Pops. He’s shy and private and doesn’t like attention. “With the press and interviews and stuff.”

“Ah. Yes,” he says, chuckling. “I hated the press. I hated the things they asked—hockey related or not—but I also hated seeing myself on television. The sound of my voice would grate on me. And I’d always think is that really what I look like? ”

“How did you get over that?”

“I don’t know that I really did. It was part of my job. Very few people enjoy all aspects of their job and the press, cameras, interviews—they were all parts I just had to deal with.”

I sigh. That’s not exactly helpful advice.

“Why do you ask, Dak?”

What am I supposed to answer here? I can’t have sex with this guy because the camera is watching? That’s going to lead to a whole lot more questions than I’m prepared for.

However, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with this question.

“Just thinking about a class next semester,” I say. “Cameras are involved, and they make me… anxious.”

“I get that.”

“Kind of panicky,” I admit.

“There are a lot of tricks that people will tell you. But usually—and the one I find least helpful—is to pretend they’re not there.”

“Yeah,” I snort. “It really isn’t helpful advice. I’ve heard that. It doesn’t work.”

Dad laughs. “No, it doesn’t.” There’s a pause before he adds, “Sometimes, you need to find a technique that works for you through trial and error. Maybe it’s a reward system, something like… if I make it through this scene, then I’ll get an ice cream cone.”

I laugh. “I’m not sure that’s been motivating since I was ten.”

“No. We’ve tried it over the years, it’s been a while since it’s appealed to you.”

“What if that doesn’t work? The reward system?”

“I guess it depends on what your goal is here. Is this a personal achievement you’re trying to reach, or do you see your future in front of a camera? If it’s personal, then I’m not sure you truly need to figure it out because you can do something else. If you’ve decided that you want a career that will put you in front of a camera sometimes, then definitely you’ll need to think about this.”

“I don’t want a career in front of a camera.” And certainly not like this !

“Then maybe you don’t worry about the cameras and do something else.”

I chew the inside of my lips. “But, the thing is, I can’t do this… thing… without the cameras present. They’re kind of part of the deal.”

“I can hear the fact that you’re hiding something,” Dad says, and I scrunch my face. “Are the cameras actually necessary? Because unless it’s a commercial or a movie or something, I’m not understanding why they have to be present.”

Ah… okay, sure. But that means tracking down River and asking him to fuck around without Rumor. Without the money and his fans or whatever. It means a not so straight boy is asking a some-kind-of-straight guy to fuck. Just because.

“Right,” I muse. “I’ll… think about that.”

No, I won’t. That’s not an option.