Run From Me (Barbed Wire Hearts #2)

10. Calliope

TEN

calliope

“Revenge?”

I paused trying to bring in some common sense. I really tried. It was probably time to get back to that therapist. No, actually she was pretty focused on the trauma from my mother, but the thing was, who was I without it?

And Xander? He was all about letting the freak flag fly apparently.

All the years of anger maybe never really needed to be fixed, but they sure as shit liked the idea of finding a way out. Revenge?

“I can get on board with that. Any chance this revenge would include assholes who use women for a quick fuck and then still expect said woman to be all loyal and swoony?”

His face fell flat. Good.

It pissed me off just how much I didn’t mean to this idiot. All curious about the Vipers, and for what? Another gang vendetta? It certainly wasn’t like he felt bad for calling me a job. Basically an obligation to keep me happy for information.

Was I happy? My vagina was at least. I smirked at that.

“No. Said guy will sort out whatever he said wrong later. I still think you will appreciate avenging Rylee. Let’s get to the third floor without being seen,” he said.

“Right. Then you need a costume change,” I said, assessing him.

He pulled the edges of his coat out and did a little twirl.

“What’s wrong with my Spector boss look?”

I snort-laughed.

“Spector boss look? Wow. Okay. We can unpack what’s wrong with that later. But for starters, that. The whole thing. You don’t think that very specific hourglass on the shoulder isn’t going to stand on camera?”

I hated the way I watched his mouth knowing just how that goatee felt against my lips when I kissed him. I hated watching as he played with the thing with his teeth as he thought.

Why is it that when I said I would help him, a slow smile crossed his lips, taking years off him. It wasn’t lost on me how fucking scary he should have been, but I also had zero sense of self-preservation. And when he smiled?

“Lead the way, Sparky. I’m at your command. As long as I get to do this for my brother.”

I nodded as we crossed the massive parking lot because I couldn’t trust myself to say anything logical. My feet regretted the fact I’d jumped out of the car near the back of the parking lot. Maybe I didn’t. It was more time with a guy I had absolutely no right to want. At least fucking him scratched an itch that he had somehow awoken.

“That whole thing, that was your fault. Just so you know.”

I was taking two steps for every one of his, and it was a little annoying that I sounded more out of breath than he did. Maybe he noticed because I was able to keep up now, but my feet still felt gross and gritty, and I hated I hadn’t put shoes back on.

“What thing?”

I gawked at him.

“The thing in the car. You know. The thing.” Maybe it wasn’t my finest communication, but I sure as hell made an obvious gesture to my crotch. The way his eyebrow raised just enough to show a devious playful side of him, I knew he was fucking with me, and that pissed me right the hell off.

“You are such an asshole. I should let you get caught doing whatever it is you think will be the best gift ever.”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side like I was an old friend rather than some girl who just climbed up on him like a lifeline. Or stress relief. I wasn’t admitting anything.

“Ah, come on. The sexual tension between us was bound to end in an explosion. A little bit it was both our faults. I was definitely willing. Let’s go feed the demons, and I’d rather not get caught. This hospital at night is understaffed, so I think that will help. What’s your idea to get in unnoticed?” Xander asked.

My plan?

“Well, first we get some scrubs for you. They will notice you and that jacket. But if you look like me? No one will give a shit really.”

I held my badge up and clipped it on my pocket.

“Aren’t you all official, Sparks,” he said.

“Sparks?”

With a shrug, he followed me around to a staff entrance.

“Sparks, Sparky. I mean Sparks seemed more personal, and since you’re about to commit a crime with me, that puts us on personal nicknames.”

Personal nicknames? This could be fun.

“Oh, in that case, let me figure out one for you. Dickhead? No, that’s overused. Captain Shit Show? No, that implies you don’t have your life together.” I paused. What could I call a fuck buddy that seemed to know exactly what to say one minute and then fuck it all up seconds later?

“I got it. Crash. As in crash and burn whenever you open your mouth.”

His hand flew to his chest.

“Ouch, Sparks. That one hurt.”

I smiled to myself because I thought it was pretty accurate and funny. Besides, something felt really good about getting away with calling him out for his shit when we were heading in to a hospital to kill someone.

Lots to unpack there.

I scanned my badge and opened the door, letting him and myself in.

“Take off the jacket, Crash. There’s a camera right there.”

I pointed toward one monitoring the hallway that wasn’t hidden. I kept my head down as I pushed him through a door, barely inside the hospital.

It was a room with a single bed in it and a lot of supplies.

“Come over here. What size are you?”

I headed for a stack of scrubs. I grabbed the largest size the hospital seemed to offer and held it up.

“You’re a big boy, Crash. What do you eat every day?”

He leaned in closer.

“I’d be happy to eat you every day.”

And then he licked his lips.

I really tried for that deadpan look when I glared. The asshole knew how gorgeous he was in all his muscled tallness.

“I’m pretending you didn’t just say that. You are literally giving me whiplash. Try these on.”

He grabbed the scrubs from me and I was finding it rather hard to breathe in here. Turning my back on him, I tried to ignore the six pack of muscles and all those delicious tattoos that decorated his body like a canvas.

“Calliope, you just rode my cock. I don’t really care if you turn around or not.”

He used my name so seldom that when he said it, as much as I’d always hated the saying “weak in the knees,” it suddenly made sense. Because that’s exactly what he did to me.

I tried to shake my head and knock around the sense that should have been lodged somewhere in my brain.

I hated the gangs. I hated my mother. All I wanted was to be free, and here I was, lusting after one more problem. Too bad as I gave into temptation and turned back around. I struggled to remember how to swallow as he pulled on the scrub top. Every inch of him was too perfect and, hell. The scrub pants seemed a little tight around the hips, and my own body was a traitorous bitch.

My moral compass was broken. It probably had been for a while. But this?

Down girl, I mentally scolded myself.

I was here doing something bad and all because, well why? Because he had asked me? No. Maybe.

It wasn’t so much that he had asked me to help him that was a problem. It was the strange feeling that I really believed if I’d said no, he would have accepted that as that.

He would have listened to me. When had anyone ever listened to me?

I had no idea what to do with my hands as I fought the need to go rub him like a good luck statue so I wrapped my fingers in my shirt twisting it far too tight.

“Okay, Crash. When you say committing a crime, what did you have in mind exactly? It’s that cop, right? I always thought he was kind of nice.”

I assumed the cop was probably toast. The news reported a cop being injured in the line of duty, the same cop that seemed to have some fascination with Rylee. She’d mentioned things he’d said to her once in a while, but nothing that sounded too crazy.

“Sparky, I would keep those dark little thoughts to yourself or I’ll be forced to punish you on behalf of the Spectors. He’s made his bed, and now he deserves to be buried in it.”

Xander’s eyes were near pitch black. I watched a new darkness that I hadn’t seen before.

He stepped forward, and with every inch he came closer, the room grew a few degrees warmer.

“Okay, Xander. What do you need from me?”

He stopped a single step away from reaching me. I had to focus on every single breath.

I followed his arm as he reached out for me, and I closed my eyes at the touch of his fingers stroking over my cheek.

“I don’t need anything. However, if you would like some control over how he dies, then I need your expertise.”

I didn’t mean to gasp.

“If you’re not up to it, Sparky, I’ve got this. Thanks for getting me in.”

I opened my eyes at the absence of his heat and saw him turn to leave. This time it was me reaching out and stopping him.

“Wait. No. It’s just, no one’s ever asked for my help like my opinion matters. But I do have opinions. And, well. He tried to ruin Rylee’s life. Tried to take her away from Cas. I’d like to help him not wake up again, ever.”

His features were no less dark and scary, like there really was a switch he could turn on and off, but it still felt like under that darkness there was something else for me. Maybe I just wanted to believe there was.

Maybe I just liked the idea that I had power over a big bad wolf.

“Follow me,” I said and ran my palm over his chest as I walked back into the hall. “Just keep your head down.”

I knew this hospital well. Enough convoluted deaths to oversee, or charts to review, and I’d spent too much time here. When you didn’t have a life, you lived for your work. I needed a pet.

Never had I ever felt like this coming here before though. Xander followed me through another door that held antibiotics, medicines, and other supplies.

I shouldn’t have smiled, but I did as I reached for a vial of potassium chloride and a syringe.

“I assume he has an IV, but, if not, have you ever given an injection in a vein?”

Xander shrugged.

“I’m going to bank on an IV. If not? I’m highly aware of where veins are.”

That made me pause. But it was too late now. This idea had formed in my head, and I sort of loved the idea of being the one Xander was confiding in. That, and committing murder with.

“It’s harder to get into the ICU. I know one of the nurses on staff tonight, I think. I hope. Fill the syringe now.”

He seemed far too comfortable filling the syringe, and I wondered if he was just playing with me about wanting my help.

“Right. Okay. You’ll need to access the open line and put the entire thing in, and then walk away. I’ll go distract whoever is at the nurses’ station.”

Xander made quick work of the vial.

“You’ve done this before, Crash?”

He smiled at me past the vial.

“Let’s just say I’ve seen enough drugs and vials to know how to do this. It’s getting the drug that you don’t think will be on a report that I lacked direct access to. To be fair, this was a little bit inspired by you,” Xander said.

Should I have been flattered? I didn’t get to ask. Instead I took the vial and placed it back with the others. I peeked out the door and waved Xander on.

I had every right to be in the hospital, but with Xander, I was breaking so many rules, and it was a rush.

“Do you know what bay he is in?” I asked.

Xander nodded as I turned to the nurses’ station and he walked like he owned the floor.

“Hey, is Natalie working tonight?” I asked a nurse I didn’t know by name but had seen once or twice. She seemed nice enough.

“Yeah. She just took her break. She’ll be back with coffee in a minute. It’s been a slow night for once.”

I smiled.

“Yeah, it has.”

She was charting something, so I just stood there counting silently. It should take him no more than two minutes if he knew where he was going. The lethal dose would take a bit longer to get through the IV line, giving us the perfect opportunity to get out of here. By the time the monitor alerted the nurses’ station, he’d be dead and we would be close to gone.

So I just counted. The nurse hadn’t looked up again. Not once. Natalie wasn’t here either. No one would think anything of me being here. My heart thundered away in my chest imagining those dark eyes.

What would it be like to be fucked by him like this?

I shook my head. That was not a healthy thought.

I think that was thirty seconds. I had to focus. Thirty-one, thirty-two. I continued to count. Breathing was a good thing. How was I going to know if he was done? This wasn’t really well thought out. I was used to hairbrained ideas from the Vipers, but I wasn’t ever the one murdering. I was the one covering up the murders with paperwork.

Still, something about this felt really, well, good. One more shitty person done with, gone.

I nearly jumped when the alarm at the nurses’ station beeped.

The nurse looked up at me and smiled before running to do whatever she did. I simply stepped back from the station slowly before turning and walking away toward the stairwell we’d come up.

Shit, I must have been daydreaming. A few more steps, and I was pushing though the fire door to the stairwell. The back stairwell didn’t have cameras that I was aware of, thanks to it not having direct access to the outside.

I got through the door and nearly screamed as an arm wrapped around me and a hand covered my mouth.

“Shhh, Sparky. Ready to go?”

I nodded as I breathed against his restraint. The heavy breathing that I couldn’t control? Not from nerves. Or at least not nerves that had anything to do with being here and aiding in a murder.

“Is he? Was that him?”

Slowly, he turned me to face him so I could watch as Xander’s lips stretched into a dark smile. Why was that my thing? I looked up into Xander’s face and my girly bits tingled. But it was more than that. I knew my reason for being fucked up, but what was his?

And why did I want to know?

He was an itch I didn’t think would ever go away.

I was royally screwed.