Run From Me (Barbed Wire Hearts #2)

24. Calliope

TWENTY-FOUR

calliope

I hadn’t slept since the second Xander tried to sneak out of here. The ceiling was flawless. The ductwork rustic and modern. And none of that stupid shit mattered.

I walked to the windows that reached floor to ceiling and looked out into the alley. They were darker, maybe tinted? Probably bulletproof. They didn’t open that I could see either. Still, I would be able to see when motorcycles drove down the alley down toward the shop side. I had broken images of how this place was laid out thanks to my inability to relax even when in Xander’s arms.

I was trapped here. Except he had said something about a phone to reach him or Rylee.

I walked back toward the bed and grabbed the phone on the side table. It was nice and new and had four numbers in it. I clicked on Rylee and started typing a text to my one and only friend.

Me: What do you do when Cas is out?

I waited for Rylee’s response but I had a feeling it wouldn't come. Not this time of night anyway. Instead, the three little dots told me she was typing and there was that positive feeling inside my stupid chest.

Rylee: I’m coming down.

Maybe a minute or less later, there was a knock on the apartment door. It was sad how I ran to the door like it was my birthday and someone actually remembered.

“Hi!” I nearly yelled as I swung the door open.

A ball of excitement charged me.

“Hey, neighbor. What are you wearing?”

I looked down at myself and realized that all I had was Xander’s shirts.

“I don’t have any clothing here. So, this is what I have. This or the crappy dress those Vipers shoved me into.”

Rylee shook her head.

“Okay. We’ll fix that tomorrow. You can borrow some of my clothes if you want,” she said, or more like demanded as she grabbed my hand and started to pull me out of the apartment.

I shrugged and said, “Maybe just a pair of shorts? I kind of like his shirt.”

I hated the knowing smile she sucked at hiding, but she turned around and waved for me to follow.

“This way, Calliope.”

The spiral staircase was rustic, but somehow it worked.

“Did they decorate this place all on their own?” I asked, taking it all in. Apparently I hadn’t paid nearly enough attention when he’d carried me in.

“Dunno. Doubt it. I’d be willing to bet they hired a designer. Doesn’t matter. Xander will let you do whatever you want to the apartment.”

I stopped, but we were already on another landing in front of an identical door.

“Why would he let me decorate? And is this where you live then?”

Rylee held her hand to another pad like Xander’s, and the door unlocked. I was pretty sure now I was locked out of Xander’s apartment. Wonderful.

“Cali, come on. This is my place, with Caspian of course.”

She was so at home here, and I guess she should have been. This was her house now, and me? I was just as confused as I was twenty-four hours ago.

“Cali, do you have any idea how many women they have brought to their secret lair?” she asked, still walking through the kitchen and into small living area.

I followed her through the apartment that had the same set up as Xander’s except it was cute. Homey even.

“I… what? Cas let you redo his little bachelor pad?”

The place screamed Rylee more than it did bachelor like Xander’s minimalist gray.

It was logical that Cas would let his wife do as she wanted, something about the guy—or any of them that had tattoos and viewed stab wounds as merely annoying—screamed he might not be into decorating.

The thing was, I think Rylee’s little touches made this homey and gave Cas an almost human aspect to that tough exterior.

“Of course he did, silly. It’s our place. The second floor is us, the third is Xander, and the fourth is Zeiden. I wouldn’t have asked for a little white picket fence even if I didn’t think them together was the safest for any and all of us.”

Rylee tossed me a pair of shorts.

“Still, I’m so excited to have a friend here. Truthfully, when Cas disappears to do Spector-y things, I try and read or watch movies or bake. They really like chocolate chip cookies. But Winnie is allowed over here too, or we can go to her coffee shop. You don’t get to leave without an escort, and there are four guys I can text. I’ll make sure you have their numbers.”

She grabbed a hair elastic and tossed her hair up in a messy bun.

“Maybe I could use one of those too?”

She grabbed a second and handed it to me.

“Sure. We can figure out everything tomorrow. I should have anything you need, assuming when X is home you’ll probably need very little.” She smiled at me and grabbed for my hand again.

“Let’s go downstairs and wait for them. I won’t lie, late nights like tonight? I really hate when he’s gone and I have nothing to do with my nervous energy. But now I have you.”

I pulled my hand away and slipped on the shorts and smiled as Rylee walked around the kitchen grabbing a bowl and microwaving popcorn. She grabbed what looked like gummy bears and licorice next.

“The guys fill the fridge downstairs with all kinds of drinks so we can grab those.”

All I could do was watch. Not because it wasn’t normal for someone to make popcorn, but because this all seemed so normal. Normal for best friends, or sisters, but not me. I didn’t get normal. Except as I stood here, normal didn’t look half bad.

“So, how do you feel about blood?”

That woke me up from my daydream of normal.

“Excuse me? I mean, I deal with dead bodies. Sometimes after months under water being fish food. So, fine?”

She chuckled. The microwave beeped and she pulled out the popcorn. My mouth watered at the scent of butter wafting in the air, and my stomach rumbled.

“Why are you asking about blood anyway? I’m hungry, but I thought you were clear I’m not actually a vampire even though I do enjoy the graveyard shifts.”

I accepted the bowl she thrust at me and the bags of the candy crinkled as she gathered them up.

“No. I mean yes. Not a vampire, believe me your personality doesn’t sparkle enough for that. But I meant that the guys, when they get home this late, chances are there will be blood somewhere. Honestly you being here? It’s going to help my nerves so much. I don’t like to be left alone and it almost never happens at this hour, but, well, grandpa has made me a little jumpy.”

I held onto the popcorn bowl like it would save my sanity or something, but I followed her out.

“Yeah… no… what? Sorry I’ve a lot sucked at being your friend. When you told me you were getting married, I sort of just threw myself at work and, well…” I popped in a buttery bit trying to hold my tongue from admitting I was jealous.

I wouldn’t admit that to save my ever-loving life. I didn’t want to admit it felt like I was being abandoned all over again. It wasn’t fair to Rylee, and I knew that. She hadn’t been the one to give me my trauma.

“Oh, it’s okay. I don’t think I was up for talking right away anyway,” Rylee said, guiding me over to the couches. “Hold on. Let me get drinks. Wine? Soda? Juice? Juice cleanse? I don’t suggest that last one. It’s more for when they are putting in a lot of training for those stupid fights.”

I blew out a breath and flopped onto the couch.

“Wine. Definitely wine.”

She mumbled something, but a few seconds later, two glasses clinked on the coffee table and she poured the wine.

“Girl, I think there’s a proper way to pour that and it’s not to fill it to the brim.”

She glanced over at me as the last drop fell.

“Don’t tell me you suddenly care about what’s proper, Cali. Besides, we have nowhere to go. We’re in a fortress. Those windows? Bomb proof. The doors? Well, we can leave but not before every Spector in a five mile radius is alerted and would show up. The boys are up to god knows what, and we’re about to have girl talk and a movie. The movie I get to pick, because we need mindless chick flicks. Besides, I really like not drinking alone,” Rylee said, letting the bottle clink as she left it to decorate the table.

I don’t think it was a thing to think the universe sighed in relief, but for some reason, whatever she was saying had me feeling lighter. I didn’t have another word for any of it. But I really did feel lighter. Maybe it was the fortress. Maybe it was the idea no one but the one person I had some stupid obsession over knew where I was. Maybe it was having a friend. Maybe it was all the sex.

“Cali, I’m really glad X picked you. I needed you on nights like tonight,” she said and flipped on a projector for the massive screen.

I took a huge gulp and nearly choked. It was better than letting myself get caught up in her sincerity.

“Yeah. Me too. But what do you mean picked? We’re just friends with benefits. Hell, I don’t even know if that’s accurate. Does Xander have friends besides the goon crew? We hadn’t even gotten to booty call stage.”

The way Rylee smiled against her glass as she had the sense to sip instead of chug told me I was missing something.

“You do realize the boys don’t share their space with anyone, right? Ever. Like even their own crew doesn’t know where they actually live. Some think they wake from the cemetery at dusk.”

Share their space.

Rylee was busy flicking through the options on TV. I didn’t have a clue what was out. The only TV I had was my phone.

“Oh shit. I don’t have a phone, it was left at my place when I was basically kidnapped to go to the stupid fight. Think Xander will grab it? It had all my work contacts, and it’s the only way they can reach me.”

That got her attention.

“You were at the fight? That explains a whole lot. I wasn’t sure what had happened. Cas came home and grabbed me on the way to the safe house. He knows I really hate being left in the dark. Too bad I’m still in the dark.”

I took another gulp. I needed my nerves to chill the fuck out right now.

“Yeah. I got dragged there by the Vipers. So I think it’s safe to say whatever did happen, they didn’t know about it either. I’ve never been to a fight, let alone a raid, and that was a raid.”

I took another gulp as I thought about it. I didn’t like that this bothered me. So what if I had been expected to parade around like a porn star? So what if they had wanted to use me? So what if they held a knife and guns to my neck? Up until a few days ago, I hadn’t cared much for this life.

Up until Xander.

I finished off the wine, and Rylee thrust a licorice in my face.

“Cali, have you eaten today?”

Had I?

I took a bite of the flaccid little stick and chewed.

“I don’t know. I found O and that distracted me. Then the whole kidnapping thing happened.”

Rylee reached over and pinched me.

“What are you not telling me in between those two things? You’re blushing hard. What did you and X do when Cas dragged me away like we had somewhere to be?”

I groaned and laid my head back.

“I’m not admitting anything. All I know is Xander doesn’t seem to really want me, but he does, and he runs hot and cold, and I don’t know where we stand. He’s possessive and dark as hell. But the two days of no contact? I swear I’m not needy, and I sure as hell sound needy.”

She never had a chance to respond because at that moment, the alley echoed with the roar of engines.

“Oh goody. They’re home. Come on. Zeid will get you set up with access soon, I swear. But for the moment, well, don’t get locked out.”

I didn’t have a clue why I would get set up for anything here, but I followed, because the way my stomach seemed to flip and I got all nervous?

I had wanted Xander. I wanted him for that solid body that made me feel safe and protected. I liked looking at it. But something I hadn’t actually taken into account? I actually really liked his grumpy sarcastic ass around. I’d liked him hanging around the morgue. It felt safe, but more than that, he made me laugh.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He made the loneliness disappear.