Runaway Hearts: Seduced by Danger

10. Creepy Minds Align

Chapter 10

Creepy Minds Align

M y muscles ache, my eyes burn, and my tongue seems too big for my mouth. We bid goodnight to my family, and I took the quickest shower before putting on my Care Bears pajamas.

Kai and I are brushing our teeth side by side. The normalcy of this moment makes me want to scream. The sexy criminal is as composed as ever, his sun eyes betraying no emotion.

Is he a robot?

I laugh at the image of a red flash in his right eye, and I’m almost convinced I hear robotic noises whenever he moves.

I’m sailing in uncharted water with him. The guy would need a unique word to define him.

Ultra-sexy?

Ultra-dangerous?

Ultrasexygerous?

Ultra applies to both adjectives in whatever way you want. Kai Kiken, the ultrasexygerous man.

I won’t survive an entire night in bed with him. Not if he tries something. My villain fantasy might come to life, after all.

I walk out of the bathroom, giggling, feeling his gaze on my posterior. I can’t believe that man is attracted to me.

After slipping into the soft sheets, I close my eyes in bliss. The feather pillows are a delight, and I squirm joyfully at being in such a comfortable bed. Everything is perfect.

My mind holds no despicable thoughts. Until Kai closes the light and slips under the duvet. At least he’s wearing a T-shirt and boxers.

Vicious heat spreads through my body, and I breathe faster. The mattress is too small, the crease sucks us in the middle, and we collide in a strange roll.

He tosses and turns but finally settles on the edge of the other side.

The warmth of Kai’s body heats the bed, and a heavy silence settles. After a few seconds, I try to focus on counting the blades of the blind. But Kai stirs, letting cold air fill the warm cocoon that’s enveloped us.

“Don’t do that,” I say, closing the covers on us.

He mumbles something in Japanese. Is he going to offer to heat me up? That would be cheesy and tacky. And hot.

Kai, heat me up with your bad boy’s body.

Seconds change into minutes. The surrounding air seems to hold its breath, waiting for him to make a move. I want him to do something.

Anything.

Kai does nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

You’re not worthy of having a penis, Ultrasexygerous.

“Goodnight, Marianne.”

“Goodnight, Kai.”

I wake in the middle of the night. Kai’s hand rests on my hip, his body separated from mine by a fraction of an inch. That slight gesture is like an anchor weighing me down, reminding me of everything I can’t have. When we went to bed, he lay motionless until I fell asleep.

We flirted today, and that gave me the perception he would make a move in bed. I’m not confident enough to do that. He was so good at the pretend boyfriend thing, but maybe I misunderstood.

My eyes adjust to the dim light peeking through the curtains. I shift, the warmth from Kai’s hand seeping into my skin. The rise and fall of his chest tells me he’s still asleep, blissfully unaware of my internal turmoil.

I fear the pounding of my heart might wake him. But his breath is steady.

His hand slides down slightly, fingers brushing against my thigh. My breath catches in my throat.

He murmurs Japanese words and stirs. I let out a shaky breath. I wonder what this man dreams about. Kai stirs again, his body edging closer in his sleep. I close my eyes, trying to calm the storm inside.

“Videotapes are on the lowest shelf, left of the T.V.”

One of the weirdest things I’ve picked up from sleeping next to Eric is how to untangle myself from a cuddler and slip free.

My past is calling me from upstairs.

Sliding out from under his hand, I move cautiously.

I sit up on the edge of the bed and glance at Kai’s peaceful, almost boyish face. His sleeping features are miles away from the intense persona he carries when awake. I slide off the bed and make my way to the stairs.

It’s answers o’clock.

The night is quiet, and ethereal rays of moonlight pierce through the tulle curtains of the living room. I love the peace of it.

I sit on the couch and start the old videos Corey kept for me. He filmed hours of our life, and maybe I missed something from my past years that could lead me to understand my precarious mental state.

I press “play,” and the screen comes to life. I see my thirteen-year-old self playing with Corey’s German shepherd, Kamikaze, named in tribute to Japanese anime. That was the time I was diagnosed with severe anxiety. My mother had disappeared, and my mind was all chaos.

And I cry in silence, careful not to wake anybody.

It’s sad for me to realize after more than a decade, I’m still the same person with the same fears. Eric loved how eager to please I used to be, but I regret wasting four years on him. My fear of abandonment and the angst that came with confrontation made me easier to manipulate. To mold.

What a fucking degenerate.

As I wipe my eyes and blow my nose, I hope Kamikaze would be here and help me face these painful memories. I miss sinking my fingers in his thick fur.

Lost in thought, my head snaps to the kitchen when I feel someone nearby.

But it’s not my family.

Kai is rummaging through the freezer, dressed only in boxers and a T-shirt—my surroundings: tissues scattered, puffy red eyes from crying, and a runny nose.

How the hell can I be so fucking pathetic?

He walks toward me with a tub of cappuccino ice cream. I can’t resist and take it from him, my heart tugging at the memories of happier days. Corey always buys fancy ice cream when I come home.

I peek up at Kai and manage a small smile. “How did you know?”

“Your uncle told me.”

We sit close together, our legs touching under the blanket he put on us. Kai hands me a spoon, and we share cappuccino ice cream from the tub.

I see myself at fifteen, sitting in the garden reading a manga to Kamikaze, who lies sprawled across my thighs. The videos usually fill me with sadness from better days, but not tonight.

There’s a weight on my heart for sure, but it’s lighter than before.

“It was my mother’s birthday. And Corey’s. The first one since she left us.” I remember the banner floating in the summer air with “Happy Birthday to Celeste and Corey Ramirez” written in golden letters. “They shared their birth date, only two years apart. Corey insisted on throwing a party and putting up the banner, even though she was gone.”

Perhaps the fear of abandonment made me blind to Eric’s behavior made me stay.

“You never saw her again?” Kai asks.

For some reason, I want to confide in Kai. His presence as we eat the impromptu midnight snack makes my mind safe.

“No, she evaporated,” I reply, my throat tightening at the memories.

Nina pulls me in front of her so I can blow out the candle on Corey’s cake and bends to tenderly kiss my hair. The moment her gesture reaches my teenage self, I’m overwhelmed by a tidal wave of emotions hitting me with such force that I am swept away into a full-body sob. Tears stream down my face as I struggle to regain my composure, but the floodgates have opened, and I can’t stop the deluge. The rawness of the instant is still engraved in my soul.

“My mother died when I was nine,” Kai tells me. “It was the worst moment of my life. Even today, I still can’t wrap my head around it.”

I gasp, and more tears gather in my eyes. “What happened to her?”

Nina’s loving gesture on the screen only serves as a reminder of the void my mother left behind. If my mother were dead, I could grieve. But she abandoned me.

“An accident,” he replies, not elaborating any further.

“Accident, like… she was murdered,” I add, my voice laced with morbid humor.

His sun eyes scan me, but I avert his gaze. I catch myself on the screen, throwing the ball to my best friend.

“You really read too much. I came back from class one day, and my father told me she was dead. No explanation.”

My mind jumps to dark places, fueled by all the true crime podcasts I listen to.

“Do you think he did it?” I ask.

Kai meets my gaze with a tense expression before answering, “Maybe.”

The air in the room feels thick and heavy as I struggle to maintain composure in front of Kai, unable to hold my tongue despite knowing it’s inappropriate. But how does one deal with the trauma of a father killing their mother?

Let’s try something normal. “I’m twenty-four. How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight.”

I frown and put another bite of frozen heaven in my mouth. Normal is boring. Not as boring as Corey’s third strike in a row, diligently filmed by yours truly.

“Do you still speak to your father?” Kai asks.

“Not since he remarried.” I wasn’t even invited.

We sit in silence for what feels like an eternity until I can no longer bear it. We both know the answer, but I need to hear it from him directly. “What do your men call you? Hiroshi? Or Mr. Kwunaru?”

“They call me Seven,” he replies calmly, licking a trace of ice cream off his lower lip. “My father is Six, and my grandfather is Four, though he gained leadership by cutting off his brother’s Five’s left hand.”

Well, that’s fancy.

“Seven...” I roll the syllables on my tongue, but they don’t belong.

He grunts. “Please, don’t call me that.” His voice is deep, but an underlying current of vulnerability makes him seem more human.

More like me.

“What exactly do you do in the… organization?”

Kai blows out a deep breath. “I’m a high-rank enforcer, mostly.” He pauses as if considering how much to reveal. “Let’s just say I ensure everyone follows the rules.”

I shouldn’t pry further, yet my curiosity gets the better of me. “Blackmail? Extortion? Murder?”

Kai levels his gaze at me, his golden eyes piercing yet guarded. “I do what’s necessary to protect the family’s business. To keep the circus thriving.” He shifts on the sofa.

As moments of my life flash by on the screen, I realize they don’t hold the answers I hoped for. But my conversation with Kai has me captivated.

“That’s true devotion,” I say as I lick my spoon. “Ooh, and kidnapping?”

A scoff of disbelief resounds next to me. “It’s possible.”

Questions swirl like a hurricane of sinister curiosity in my brain, each more twisted than the last.

What does the phoenix mean?

Do you really like me?

What’s your body count?

Shut up, Marianne!

The room falls silent again as we watch my old life.

“I can’t believe I used to be so thin. It saddens me every time I watch these old movies,” I say, gobbling up a bite of ice cream. “Good god, that’s good.”

“You’re much more beautiful now.” His words hang in the thick air. I’ve never been on the receiving end of such kind words. As I savor every second, I suspend the moment in time, letting it coat my tongue with a zesty tanginess.

Before I can utter a thank-you, he pulls me toward him and guides me to sit between his legs on the floor.

Startled, I yelp, “What are you doing?”

His request catches me off guard. “Remove your T-shirt.”

My mind races as I hesitate. But before fully comprehend what is happening, I blurt out, “No.”

Oh, my god! I said no. Yay, me.

“You have a tank top underneath. I won’t grope you. I just want to help loosen the knot that is keeping you tense right here.” He presses against a tight muscle next to my shoulder blade, showing no hesitation or shyness in doing so.

A whistling sound between my lips confirms he’s right. My heart skips a beat when Kai holds my shoulder with one hand. His thumb moves in small circles, pressing into the knot of muscles in a bunch.

I blow a quick breath, remembering how well he reacted earlier about his thumb on my throat.

He doesn’t want to hurt me.

I take my T-shirt off, exposing myself and searching for any signs of danger as I sit there, vulnerable.

“If you—” I start.

“Do you believe all men are bastards?” he cuts me off.

I groan. “I’m eagerly awaiting evidence to disprove the theory.”

“What about your uncle?”

I blow out a sad sniff. “He’s an outlier, a statistical anomaly. Doesn’t count.” My eyes fixate on the silent television, the flickering images of my past life casting shadows across the room.

Each time he moves his thumb, the moan in my throat escapes a little, and I try to stifle it until I can no longer hold it in. I let out a tight whistle of pain, my body no longer able to take the intensity of the sensation.

But he continues. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

I make no freaking sense.

Kai reminds me, “Just let me know if it becomes too much for you.”

I can’t.

My stomach churns like a sick whirlpool set to pull me under as the hands of the improvised masseur work on me. I want to scream out in agony, to beg him to stop, but the fear of what might happen if I speak keeps me silent.

Kai pushes too hard on my muscles, and it hurts.

A dark cloud takes hold of my chest, threatening to asphyxiate me.

This isn’t Eric.

“It’s too much,” I whisper.

“Okay,” he says.

I struggle to grasp why he’s being so kind to me.

My palms become clammy, and a shady vibration settles in my heart when I think about opening up to Kai. The potential of us being something slips away with each moment I remain closed off.

I pull away from him. “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m trying to be nice. You saved my life, Marianne. Twice. That’s worth something.” He sighs and keeps massaging my shoulders. “No one would’ve done what you did for me without asking for something in return.”

“Well, you’re not surrounded by the cream of the crop,” I mutter, looking at my toes.

“You... Marianne, you’re a bright light in a very dark world.”

That’s why he won’t leave me alone. “Just trying to be nice, right?”

“Yeah.”

The tension in my muscles retreats, and I exhale, relieved by Kai’s tentative kindness.

A splash of vulnerability appears in me. As he massages my back, his fingers slide slightly higher, exploring the tense muscles at the base of my neck.

The contact is intimate, comforting, but not sexual at all.

I let out a small moan as his touch becomes more intentional. His fingers freeze for a second, waiting. But I sigh in bliss, and he carries on. My body responds to the tender touch, and I melt into the floor beneath me, like a puddle of relaxation pooling at my feet.

Kai’s voice comes out lower than usual. “Is that okay?”

“Yes,” I managed to get out, but my throat suddenly dried and tight. This connection is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. This vulnerability seems like it’s coming from a place of trust, a place where I can let my guard down.

I don’t know if I can trust him entirely. After all, people in my life often disappoint me. But for the first time in a long while, I feel seen.

After forty-five minutes, I played all the videos.

I gaze at the blank screen before me, feeling a strange connection with Kai. In the dimly lit living room, he watches me as I rise from my seat on the floor and head back to bed.

“Just give me a minute,” he says with a drop of hesitation.

It’s a peaceful feeling. Maybe I shouldn’t have watched those two hours of videos that Corey saved for me, especially not with Kai. But it felt so natural...

The morning light filters through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. I awake to find Kai sitting beside me, his eyes fixed on my face. His gaze makes every hair on my body stand up. My heart rushes with a mix of uncertainty and anticipation.

“What?” I mumble, pulling the covers up to my chin in a feeble attempt to hide from his inspection.

“You’re beautiful when you sleep.”

I frown at his words. “Creepy much?”

Kai chuckles. “It’s just... no one has ever felt safe enough to spend all night with me.”

“You’ve never woken up next to anyone? Not even one night stands?”

He shakes his head, a corner smile drawing on his lips.

I should be scared.

My frown deepens. “Well, that’s creepier.”

But I’m not.

He smirks, his eyes sparkling. “You trust me. And that means a lot.”

I sigh, feeling both flattered and embarrassed by his words. “Well, I spent four years sleeping next to a violent man. You’re not so bad in comparison.”

He scans my face for any signs of uneasiness. “Eric?”

“Yes.”

Kai snorts, and his expression softens into a genuine smile. “You didn’t gag.”

His comment only makes my cheeks heat up even more. Letting out an embarrassed groan, I bury my face into the pillow in defeat.

“You want coffee?”

“Of course!”

“Nina told me they had whipped cream in the fridge before they both went to work.”

Oh, my god...

Kai is talking dirty to me. I peek from behind the pillow, my embarrassment still nestled well within me but now mixed with quiet amusement at Kai’s expression.

“The dream combo,” I say, tossing the pillow at him playfully. He catches it easily, laughing as he sets it aside.

“On it.” Kai pushes himself from the bed and pulls on a pair of jeans. The sight is enough to make my breath hitch in my throat. I hate to admit it, but he makes criminal look good.

As he leaves the room to make our coffee, I let my mind wander back to our conversation. His words stay with me, swirling around like a mantra. “You trust me. And that means a lot.”

I can’t shake off the thought, yet I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing. How much do I really know about Kai? He’s a criminal, for God’s sake. Yet, he’s also the man taking care of me through my panic attacks, making me feel safe, and, most importantly, making me coffee with whipped cream.

The aroma of brewing coffee wafts into the room, and along with it comes a feeling of something changing between us. It’s too early to label it as anything, but I can’t deny my budding affection for him.

I join him upstairs, lighter and happier than I’ve been in a while. Kai places two mugs on the kitchen table; mine has a generous dollop of whipped cream swirled on top. The sweet scent is intoxicating.

I shoot him a gracious smile. “Thank you.”

After we finish eating, Kai stands and starts washing the dishes. I blink in surprise, trying to recall the last time I saw a man willingly do housework without being forced.

Is he trying to impress me? Because it’s definitely working.

“I have a question for you,” he says while scrubbing a butter knife. “But if you don’t want to answer, I’ll understand.”

“As long as you share with me, too.”

He nods. “What made you fall for Eric? I don’t get it.”

“Did you look him up online?”

A quick flutter of his eyelids, and I know he did.

“How? When? What?”

“One, your phone isn’t locked, and you still have his contact information saved. Two, this morning. And three... I couldn’t resist.”

It’s surreal that we’re discussing this, but Kai doesn’t seem to have any concept of boundaries or privacy when it comes to me. I’ve accepted that.

Outside, the sky is painted a vibrant blue, and the weather is perfect; inside, the tension between us feels like an impending storm.

“I met Eric while working a summer job in an office tower. I was nineteen, and he was thirty. After a few shared smiles and casual chats, he asked me out for coffee. I accepted because everyone who knew him raved about what a great guy he was. On our first date, he was a gentleman.”

And he was so muscular and tall.

“He played Clue with his grandma every Sunday and volunteered at an animal shelter in his free time.” I swallow hard as my stomach clenches at the memory. “He was picture-perfect.” And it should’ve been a warning bell. Nobody’s that perfect. “One evening, after a movie date, he invited me to spend the night at his place. And one magical kiss later, I was completely smitten.”

Looking back now, I see how Eric manipulated my emotions. He knew exactly what to say and do to make me feel loved. Like a na?ve fish falling for a shiny lure, I fell for him, hook, line, and sinker. Admitting how easily I was deceived is painful, as it reminds me of the hurt that followed. My own desires betrayed me, leading me into a situation filled with pain. It’s hard to accept that I allowed myself to be swayed so easily by someone else’s affections, leaving me feeling foolish and angry at myself.

Kai grunts. “When did he start to be violent?”

“A few weeks after I moved in with him. We had been together for eight months or so. I was still studying, and it was an exam week.” As hard as it is to speak about this moment, it’s the first time I can talk without crying uncontrollably. “That night, I told him I needed to sleep. He didn’t hit me, but he insisted so much I said yes. So, he would let me sleep for a few hours.” Eric was always a bit pushy when it came to sex, but my naive self put it on the fact he wanted me too much to control himself. “The next day, I fell asleep during the exam, and I got a grade that still gives me chills. When I came home, I was angry and let him know. And it got worse over time.”

Whenever I dared to bring up any flaws or issues with Eric, he became a completely different person. I clench my fingers until the pain of my nails digging into my palm provides relief.

“Why didn’t you leave?” Kai asks.

“I loved him,” I admit. But the truth is I thought it was the only love I was worth. “It sounds crazy. I should’ve left. But…” I struggle to find the right words to express my thoughts, regretting my decision to confide in Kai. “…in the middle of it all, I saw no escape. I thought it was my fate. But now, I think this breakup might be a blessing. Even if we cross paths again—”

“If he dares to come near you, I’ll make sure he suffers a slow and painful death,” Kai interrupts.

“Like peeling off his skin?” I ask, remembering my nightmare.

He closes his eyes and leans back against the counter, a small smile forming on his lips as he imagines different ways to make my ex pay for hurting me. It’s twisted and dark, but my mind finds it adorable for some reason.

“Yeah... but it’s messy,” he says. “I could deep freeze his body and then let you have the satisfaction of smashing him to pieces with a baseball bat.”

I let out an excited gasp. “Can you actually do that?”

Kai lets out a low chuckle. “Yeah, I can,” he says. “With the right tools.” He winks at me.

A strange giggle bubbles in my chest, and I burst out laughing.

“I love the way your mind works, cutie pie.”

Our eyes lock in a moment of mutual understanding.

I like Kai.

Despite our past struggles and wounds, we are on a journey to finding ourselves and reclaiming our lives in our own unique ways.

I feel safe with him. Safe enough to let my guard down and share more of myself without fearing judgment or rejection.