Ruthless Angel (Gods of Ravencrest University #5)

CHAPTER THIRTY

CLOVER

“Here. I’m sure you could use one of these too.” Raina passed me a strongly mixed drink before plopping back down in her patio chair.

I tried to relax on my matching reclining chair but found it next to impossible. When Desmond told the guys they were all going out tonight, my heart had stuttered. I didn’t like that they were working for the mob now. Their current activity was already dangerous enough. Nervous butterflies filled my stomach, making my yummy burger not sit so well anymore.

Accepting the drink with a nod of thanks, I asked, “Do you think they’ll be okay?”

Desmond had gone into the house to make some business calls, leaving Raina and me alone in the backyard. She glanced toward the house with a brow raised, like she didn’t entirely trust her dad’s motives here.

“I think so. They can all take care of themselves. My biggest concern is the six of them being alone together without us there to keep them from killing each other.” Settling back in her chair, Raina plucked a joint from her bra and stuck it between her painted red lips.

I sighed, staring up at the darkening sky. The sun had descended, leaving a hazy orange glow behind that would soon disappear.

“I don’t think they’ll ever let go of the past,” I said. “And I wouldn’t blame you if you held it against the Angels for the rest of your life. What they did to you is not okay. Still, there’s a part of me that wishes everyone would get along. I know that’s unrealistic.”

“What they did to me was fucked up,” she agreed, lighting up her joint. “It’s history though. Things have changed. You love those psychopaths. I respect that. I’d love for everyone to get along too. Like one big, happy, screwed up family. That’s a lot to expect from any of those guys.”

She passed me the joint. I gratefully took a long drag, sucking the smoke deep into my lungs before letting it drift out between my lips. “It’s tough when you love hardheaded maniacs.”

Raina turned to look at me, a brow raised. “You do love them, huh? I knew that. I guess it’s to be expected. I knew you were developing feelings.”

“Yeah, I guess I do love them. All of them.” Shaking my head, I handed the joint back. “I’m not sure if they all love me though. Blaze told me that he did one night when we were in bed. He was so gentle and tender. It kind of blew my mind. I’m not sure about Cash or Daire. They’re both so possessive and caring in their own way. That’s not always love though.”

Raina let out a bark of laughter, sputtering some of her drink. “Have you not noticed how they look at you? Especially Daire. That crazy fuck is head over heels for you, Clover. He’s ready and willing to kill for you. He already has. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

I had to laugh when I thought about the insanity of it all. She was right. The Angels had killed for me, and they would kill again. Sometimes it all felt so surreal, like this couldn’t possibly be my life.

“How the hell did we end up tied to such maniacs?” I mused. “Back when I was crushing on Blaze so long ago, I never would have dreamed it would all turn out this way.”

“Hell if I know,” she chuckled. “Just lucky, I guess.”

We sat in comfortable silence for a while, sipping our drinks while sharing the joint. I did my best not to check the time obsessively. How long was it supposed to take when a mob boss sent you on a job? I wouldn’t be able to completely relax until the guys returned.

After a while, Raina softly said, “I was so afraid when you were gone. How are you holding up? The truth.”

I shrugged. “I try not to think about it too much, although it’s like it’s always there constantly lurking in the back of my mind. The guys have been really good in trying to help me settle back in. It’s like they’re afraid of doing something to trigger a trauma response. Honestly, I just wish we could find Brady and put this whole thing to rest. I think that would help me a lot.”

Raina reached over to pat my arm. “He’ll turn up. Men like him don’t know how to lay low for long. He’ll want to get back into the game. He’ll make a mistake, and he’ll pay for it.”

I sipped my drink, quiet for a moment before saying, “Sometimes I feel like I should be more guilty about what I’ve done. I’m not. I don’t feel anything at all towards any of them. Does that make me a monster? Should I be concerned?”

“Absolutely not. They all had it coming. Men like that are a plague on this earth. Getting rid of them does the world a favor.” Taking my hand, Raina gave it a warm squeeze. “I mean it. Never beat yourself up for making things right. It’s justice, and you’re entitled to it. The system doesn’t do shit about most of these people. Someone has to. Take your power back, and regret nothing.”

I could always count on my best friend to speak sense. Knowing that I had someone like her to talk to about this made me feel so much better. I wasn’t alone. There was security and comfort in that.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when we heard the sound of several male voices coming from inside the house. We both shoved out of our chairs in unison, heading for the patio door.

Inside we found all six of our guys gathered in the kitchen. Desmond stood with them, listening intently as they described their outing. They’d run into trouble. They’d almost been robbed, ending up in an exchange of gunfire with the other group. Listening to them made me need to sit down at the table. Nothing scared me more than the thought of losing them.

Cash was bleeding. It didn’t appear to be much more than a flesh wound. Still, I knew how much worse it could’ve been.

As they spoke to Desmond, I noticed the energy between them had changed. There was a sense of camaraderie that they’d never had before. I guess facing potential death together might do that.

Without a doubt, I was desperately in love with all three of them. I knew that with every part of me. Hearing how close they’d come to danger tonight confirmed it. I was no longer able to push down those feelings in a pitiful attempt at denial.

When my shaky legs would hold me again, I crossed the kitchen to where Cash stood near the island. Taking the warm cloth he held to his wound, I gently wiped the blood away. Desmond fetched a First Aid kit with bandages and disinfectant. He was pissed about what had happened.

While I cleaned his wound, Cash touched my face with his other hand. “Nothing beats coming back to you, Sunshine. I only wish I didn’t ever have to leave you.”

“You’re okay?” I asked. “You’re sure?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m all good. Just happy to be back.” Cash sucked in a hiss of breath when I applied the disinfectant.

Daire wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing his face against my shoulder. “Let’s go home, Angel. I need to wrap myself around you for the rest of the night.”

Despite my concern, I found myself smiling. I was eager to take my guys home. They weren’t the easiest men to love but love them I did. Even though it scared the hell out of me, I wouldn’t have changed it for anything.