Ruthless Bratva King (New York Russian Mafia Kings #1)

15. Elena

15

ELENA

T he warm aroma of garlic and onions fills Veronica’s tiny apartment. She moves around me with effortless grace, stirring a pot on the stove while humming along to Olivia Rodriguez.

I chop carrots too quickly, almost cutting my finger off. If I did, maybe it would stop me thinking of Dmitri for five minutes.

“So,” she says, leaning against the counter with a wooden spoon in hand, “are you going to tell me why you’re tweaking like a squirrel on crack, or am I going to have to pry it out of you?”

I glance up from the massacre I’ve made of the carrot slices. “I’m fine.”

She snorts. “Please. You’ve been biting your lip so much I’m surprised it’s still attached. You came back from the library early and disappeared into the bathroom for about a week. Something’s up. Spill.”

I can’t tell her what I was doing. Nothing about my behavior would make sense to her. It barely makes sense to me .

Every word Dmitri said got my body tingling. The walk back was torture, my swollen clit chafing on the seam of my jeans, and but he time I made it to Veronica’s, I was going out of my mind. I had to do something about it.

That something involved the locked bathroom door, stripping off, and then applying the shower head to my clit, keeping my mouth covered so I didn’t moan too loudly when I came. Which took about thirty seconds.

The whole time, I was picturing him naked, taking my virginity, coming deep inside me.

“Earth to Elena?”

“Sorry,” I reply, forcing my thoughts back to the present. “Dmitri found me in the library.”

Her dark eyes narrow. “Him again? Did you let him take you up Pompeii?”

“No.” I exhale a sigh, setting the knife down. “Not for a lack of trying on his part, though.”

Veronica stops stirring and turns to face me, her jaw slack with shock. “You’re shitting me. What happened?”

I glance at her, debating whether I should keep this to myself, but the words tumble out before I can stop them.

“He said he wanted to fuck me.”

Her laugh is loud and unapologetic. “Oh, honey. I told you.” A sly smile creeps onto her face. “So basically, a hot-as-hell man wants to aggressively relieve you of your virginity, and you’re losing your mind because you don’t know what to do about it. You can borrow one of my vibrators if you like.”

“That’s not what I said!”

“It’s what you meant.” She raises her eyebrows at me. “Look, I get it. You’ve had a rough time. You’ve got all this family drama weighing you down. But maybe you should let him do it.”

I shake my head. “He’s not normal , Veronica. I doubt he does relationships, and I’m not sure he’s capable of anything resembling feelings. I bet he’s slept with hundreds of women too. Do I want someone like that to be my first?”

“It’s perfect.”

I gape at her. “What?”

She shrugs, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world. “Think about it. You’ve never had a real relationship because you’ve always thought you’d end up getting hurt, right?”

“I never said that.”

“No, but it’s true though, isn’t it?”

“That’s not the point.”

“Think about it. No strings, no emotional risk. Just fun with someone who knows exactly what they’re doing.”

I can’t help but laugh, though the idea sends a flicker of nervous energy through me. “You’re unbelievable.”

She whistles low. “Girl, it’s time. Sounds like he’s the perfect candidate to pop your cherry.”

“Veronica!” I hiss, glancing toward the open window as if someone might overhear.

She smirks. “What? I’m just saying. Why not? If he was gonna hurt you, he’d have done it, and it’s obvious what’s stopping him. You clearly want him, and from the sound of it, he definitely wants you. What’s stopping you ?”

The answer sits heavy in my chest, but I don’t say it out loud.

Fear. Doubt. The belief that if I let myself get too close, he’ll let me down like everyone does.

“He might kill me when he’s had his way,” I reply.

I don’t really believe it, though. Something tells me I’m safe with him, even though his presence alone made my body quake with previously unfelt desires. How did he do that to me?

Veronica’s about to launch into a rebuke when my phone buzzes on the counter. I glance at the screen and frown.

“Apparently, a parcel was just delivered to my apartment.”

“Do you have any idea what it might be?”

I shake my head. “No. I haven’t ordered anything.”

Her eyes light up. “Ooh, maybe it’s a surprise gift. From a not-so-secret admirer, perhaps? A Russian one who wants to take my bestie’s V-card and reduce it to confetti?”

I roll my eyes, but my chest tightens at the thought. “He doesn’t strike me as the flowers-and-candy type.”

“Maybe it’s a dildo.”

“Vee!”

She grins. “Seriously, though. What do you think about what I said earlier? About taking a chance?”

I hesitate. “I don’t know. It’s not that simple.”

“Nothing worth having ever is.” Her tone softens, and when I glance at her, her expression is serious. “Look, I’m not saying jump into bed with him tomorrow, but don’t shut yourself off from the possibility, okay?”

She glances at the time. “The casserole needs to simmer for another hour. Loads of time. Let’s go.”