Ruthless Regret (Ruthless Games Duology #2)

Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

ASHLEY

The walls of the bedroom are closing in on me, suffocating me, but I can’t bring myself to reach out and open the door, to go back downstairs and face my friends.

I have to. I need to …

But not until I’ve gotten my emotions under control. Right now, all it will take is one look, one word, to crack the precarious hold I have on everything.

My eyes fall on the suitcase near the door. Has it only been a couple of days since I’d packed it again, preparing to run back to New York? It feels like a lifetime ago.

I shake my head, and the movement is reflected in the mirror on top of the dresser. I can’t stop thinking about what happened earlier.

The attack. The hands grabbing me. The glint of a knife gripped in his hand .

I cross my arms, shivers wracking my body. My chest feels tight, my mind racing. I should be thankful I got out of there in one piece. That Zain let me go without argument.

His name makes my throat close up, my thoughts tangling into knots I can’t unravel.

I hate him.

No you don’t.

God, but I want to hate him with every fiber of my being.

Zain. The sex.

Oh god, what was I thinking?

I slept with him. Why the fuck did I sleep with him?

Because you’re attracted to him. You’ve already admitted that to yourself.

I hate him for what he’s done to me, for how he’s manipulated me. But somehow, that doesn't matter. It’s as though there’s a weird twisted magnetic force pulling us together.

Don’t be so dramatic. Just say it. Admit it.

I’m attracted to the man who’s trying to ruin my life.

What is wrong with me?

I want to run away. Go back to New York, and the life I had before any of this. That would be easier. I could shut it all down, the same way I did when I left Whitstone all those years ago.

I could pretend that Zain Ryder is still in prison, that the past three days didn’t happen. That I didn’t marry the man I thought had killed my brother.

I glance across the room, at the wedding ring I threw across it earlier. It’s still there, partially visible beneath the bed. I should leave it there, and walk away from all of this. I should have refused to marry him, refused to play his game.

But I don’t really think it would have stopped him.

He’s blackmailed me. Threatened to ruin my life if I didn't do as he wanted. He gave me no choice, and forced me to play a part in his plan to destroy me for something I thought would remain forever in the past.

I’m sure he would have found a way to do it, even if I hadn’t come back to Whitstone. He’d have found me somehow.

But there’s a little voice, deep down inside. One that whispers that I’m letting him bully me, pressure me, use me. I’m allowing it because I feel like I deserve to be punished for my part in his imprisonment.

And it almost got me killed.

My reflection draws my gaze again. My face is pale, almost unfamiliar, my eyes hollow and red-rimmed from my storm of tears.

I’ve always been proud of the way I rebuilt my life when I moved away from Whitstone, of the rational, non-emotional person I became. I found friends, a job, a boyfriend.

But standing here, I feel like I’ve lost all control. My emotions are all over the place, and I’m scared that this is just the beginning of a spiral into darkness that I’m not going to be able to escape from.

The knock on the door startles me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Shit. My friends.

They’re waiting for me. Waiting for answers.

How do I even begin to explain it to them? How do I explain why I’m married to a man I told them I hate? A man who blackmailed me?

I force myself to take in a deep breath, and then reach for the door handle. My mom is standing on the other side of it. Her eyes meet mine, and her mouth tightens.

“Are you okay?” Her voice is unusually gentle. “Sheriff McFadden called. He asked me to pass on the message that he’ll be here in about an hour to talk to you.”

Oh fuck .

“Why didn’t you tell me what happened?” There’s no accusation in her tone, but there is disappointment.

Guilt washes over me. “Can we just go downstairs? I’ll try and explain everything there.”

“Ashley, someone attacked you. Why wouldn’t you say something?”

I shake my head. “Please, mom?”

She takes a step back so I can leave the bedroom, then follows me along the hallway and down the stairs. When I step into the living room, Jessa-Mae is standing near the window, arms crossed, and her eyes fixed on me like she’s ready to demand every single detail of what I’ve done. Karla sits on the edge of the couch, her expression similar.

The silence stretches, lengthens, while my mind blanks on what I should say. It’s Jessa who speaks first.

“Ashley, what the hell is going on?”

Her voice is tight, laced with concern, but there’s an edge to it. An edge I can’t blame her for. I’m acting out of character, like someone they no longer know. And the worst part of that is this is who I really am … and the person they know is a lie, a carefully constructed lie … one that was supposed to keep me safe and protected for the rest of my life.

“Yeah,” Karla adds, before I can respond. “You come back home, supposedly to see your mom. Then we get a call saying you’ve quit your job, and broken up with Scott, and you’re moving out. And then we find out you’re married to Zain Ryder. Zain Ryder , Ashley! The guy you sent to prison. What the fuck is going on?”

How do I explain something I’m still trying to process?

“It’s … complicated.”

“Complicated? You said that earlier.” Jessa jumps on the word. “You’re married to a man you put behind bars. A man who murdered your brother. That’s not complicated . That’s fucking insane! What are you thinking?”

It is insane. I can’t deny that.

“You don’t understand. I had no choice.” I’m amazed at how steady I sound. “I didn’t want to do it, but I couldn’t see any way out of it.”

Karla frowns. “If you didn’t want to do it, then why did you?”

“I … he …” I take another deep breath. “He forced me to sign a contract. Fourteen months married to him to pay for the fourteen years he was in prison.”

Jessa lets out a sharp breath. “What? That’s blackmail ! Why didn’t you say something?”

“I couldn’t. He’s angry. He wants revenge for what I did to him.” My gaze jumps to my mom. “He said that he’d have you arrested for Jason’s murder if I didn’t do what he wanted.”

“Me? He thinks I did it?”

“No. He just made me think he could implicate you, so he could get what he wanted.”

“He was convicted of a crime. All the evidence pointed at him. You saw him at the crime scene. How can I be involved?”

“I don’t know. He said he had proof.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Is that why you were asking all those questions?”

“Everything else he told me, you confirmed.” I lick my lips. “Mom, I know you didn’t do it, but after it was proved he didn’t , how could I be sure that the same thing wouldn’t happen to you?”

The room falls silent, my words hanging in the air.

“So, he’s doing this to punish you? He made you marry him as some twisted form of revenge?” Jessa-Mae’s voice is low.

My laugh sounds bitter. “He was innocent. I didn’t believe it then, but I know it now. I sent an innocent man to prison. He’s had fourteen years to think about that, and to hate me for it.”

“How do you know he didn’t do it?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I look at each of them in turn. “But after the interview today, something happened.” I tell them about the attack at the house, but don’t mention how I slept with Zain.

They don’t need to know that. It’ll just complicate things more.