Ruthless Regret (Ruthless Games Duology #2)

Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

ASHLEY

The silence left behind after my announcement hangs in the air. I’m standing in the middle of the kitchen, trying to hold myself together.

Zain wants answers. I have maybe ten hours to make a decision, but my head is spinning and I have no idea how to figure out what I should do.

I’m aware of Scott standing near the door, watching me like I’m some puzzle he’s determined to solve. Karla is still standing beside me, while Jessa-Mae is near the stove.

“Are you going to do it? Go with him?” Scott breaks the silence, the words a hard demand.

“I don’t know yet.” I try to keep my voice calm. “I haven’t decided.”

Scott’s eyes narrow, and his jaw tightens. “Why do you even need to think about it? He shows up, tells you he needs you to go back to Whitstone, and you don’t just tell him to fuck off. You tell him you’ll think about it. Do you even hear yourself?”

I don’t know what shocks me more—the bite to his voice or the fact he swears. I’ve never heard him sound so aggressive before. I don’t like it.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Not that simple?” His voice rises, and the tension in the room spikes. Karla moves closer to me. “That man destroyed your fucking life, and you’re thinking about going back to him.”

“I’m not going back to be with him,” I snap, frustration bubbling over. “I need answers. You don’t understand. For years, I thought I knew the truth about what happened to my brother. But I don’t!”

“You can’t even see what he’s doing, can you? He’s fucking manipulating you.”

Karla shifts uncomfortably, glancing between us, but she doesn’t say anything.

“I know what he’s done better than you do. But I need to know the truth about what happened that night.”

“You don’t need him to find those answers. You think he’s just going to hand them over to you?”

I close my eyes, pressing my fingers to my temple. “I don’t know. But I have to try.”

Scott pushes away from where he’s leaning against the door frame, and comes closer.

“You don’t have to do anything for that bastard. You’re choosing to go back to him, and it’s going to fucking destroy you.”

“This isn’t about choosing Zain. It’s about finding the truth.”

He laughs, the sound sharp and bitter. “Is that what you’re telling yourself? Because it sure as hell looks like you’re choosing him … the man who murdered your brother … over me. Over us .”

“There is no us . I’ve told you that. Not anymore.”

His features harden further. “You didn’t even give me a real reason for ending things. You left me a message, like I didn’t fucking matter. You never even gave me a chance to convince you to give us another chance.”

“You can’t convince me, why don’t you understand that? I don’t want to hurt you, Scott. But I already told you … I wasn’t happy. I’m not in love with you … Not the way you say you are with me.”

He flinches. “So what? You stayed with me out of pity? Guilt?”

“No! It wasn’t like that. I cared about you, of course I did. But I wasn’t being honest with myself. Or with you.”

“Funny how you came to that conclusion after going back to Whitstone and meeting Zain.”

“How I feel about you has nothing to do with Zain.” Except it has, in a weird way. He forced me to face the fact that I was staying with Scott because he was safe, made no demands, and the relationship was simple … Or I thought it was.

“I thought we were going to build a life together.”

“I’m sorry.”

Anger fills his voice again. “He’s going to ruin you, Ash.”

“He’s not the reason behind everything. But I need to know what happened, Scott. I need to know.”

Scott stares at me, his chest rising and falling with the effort of holding back whatever he really wants to say. Then, finally, he takes a step back.

“Fine.” His voice is cold. “But don’t come crawling to me when he tears your life apart.”

He turns and walks toward the door, then glances back at me. “You’re making a mistake, Ashley. And you’re going to regret it.”

Without another word, he leaves, the door slamming hard behind him. Karla and Jessa-Mae stand, frozen to the spot.

“Are you okay?” It’s Karla who breaks the silence.

I nod, but my throat feels tight. “Yeah.” I manage to push the word out, although the truth is I have no idea if I’m okay or not.

They don’t push, which I’m grateful for.

“My shift starts at ten. Unless you want us to stay home with you?” Jessa says.

“Do you want me to call in sick?” Karla offers, and I shake my head. “Are you sure?”

“Go to work. I’ll be fine.”

Truth is, I need the quiet so I can think about my next step.

Once Karla and Jessa-Mae have left, I make a cup of tea and relocate to the living room. Sinking onto the couch, I draw my knees up to my chest, and loop my arms around my legs. Scott’s words are still bouncing around my head, loud and sharp, mixing with the questions and fears already suffocating me.

You’re making a mistake.

You’re going to regret it.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe going back to Whitstone is a mistake. But it’s the only way I’ll ever get all the answers I need. I can’t live in the dark anymore. I can’t move forward, suffering constant nightmares, haunted by the unanswered questions locked inside my head.

I close my eyes, trying to clear my thoughts, but all I can see is Zain’s face. The way he looked at me earlier. The way the intensity in his eyes made my pulse race.

I hate it.

I hate that I’m drawn to him.

I hate that I slept with him.

I hate that I can’t stop thinking about how he made me feel.

About the way he touched me like he owned me, and how I let him.

Pushing those thoughts away, I think about what I’m going to do. If I’m going back to Whitstone, it has to be on my terms.

I laugh. If . Was there ever a moment when I wasn’t going to go back?

But now that I am, I’m not going to let Zain believe he has control over me. I’ll make it clear from the start. I’m there for answers. And that’s all.

I’ll need to set boundaries. Rules that make it clear to him that I won’t tolerate the way he treated me before.

Except, some odd little voice whispers that Zain is going to push those limits every chance he gets.